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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is anyone else here put off meeting by their own worries about it?
For me, it’s the whole stamina thing…..my knees remind me daily that I’m not in my 20s any more and physically I’m not at my best; couple that with also not having had sex for a few years, I’m not going to put in any award-winning performances any time soon.
It honestly makes me feel like not bothering a lot of the time to avoid disappointing someone. |
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The thing you have to remember is that very few of us are sexual athletes. Most of us are just people who enjoy giving each other pleasure.
Don't believe everything you read on here it's not all porn star performances and degree level oral sex. It's mostly people understanding that we're all just ordinary.  |
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We are not worried about ppl not able to fuck like porn stars.
If you have to take a blue pill so be it, we are just normal.
We like someone who is friendly and not pushy, had a few that performed well with a big cock but because they were dicks we didnt meet them again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just read your profile
You are funny, although not my bag as you’re married (not judging)
I think personally you would be a delight to meet, I think sex isn’t the biggest part of a meet most times it’s what the person is like. I wouldn’t over think it |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
We are all human and we all have things that we don't feel so confident about, I feel life is very much about meeting expectations.
Before you meet someone explain your worries and listen to theirs, it's really not all about how much you can satisfy each other, but about enjoying an experience together in whatever form that won't take.
( At least that's how I see it) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well you’re all just bloody lovely folks, aren’t you?! 
Thank you….it’s nice to hear things like this.
I’m not at the blue pill stage fortunately, it’s more about holding off cumming given how long it’s been. I can manage it, but it’s likely to mean I have to slow down or stop a moment a few times…..it was a worry that someone might get pissed off with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I so understand where your coming from , I feel the same , lack of confidence,and the longer it goes on the less confidence I have , have had a few hot people get in touch but , there out of my league, again probably all in my head , so I kindly refuse a meet , |
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Yep.
I've put on some chunk and I'd be second guessing whether I'm being lied to or whether the person I was meeting was lying to someone else and I could potentially destroy a life.
That's enough for me to hang up my meeting boots and call it quits. |
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"Well you’re all just bloody lovely folks, aren’t you?!
Thank you….it’s nice to hear things like this.
I’m not at the blue pill stage fortunately, it’s more about holding off cumming given how long it’s been. I can manage it, but it’s likely to mean I have to slow down or stop a moment a few times…..it was a worry that someone might get pissed off with it."
Most of us understand about these things. |
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"Is anyone else here put off meeting by their own worries about it?
For me, it’s the whole stamina thing…..my knees remind me daily that I’m not in my 20s any more and physically I’m not at my best; couple that with also not having had sex for a few years, I’m not going to put in any award-winning performances any time soon.
It honestly makes me feel like not bothering a lot of the time to avoid disappointing someone."
95% of us are the same!! We’re not making porn we’re having fun! Don’t sweat the small stuff  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Sexiness comes from confidence we have found. Dress smart and try to feel good will help.
As for actual performance, there is more to sex than the actual physical act. Try to ensure your partner get pleasure so that should the first time be over to quick for you it will not matter to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I so understand where your coming from , I feel the same , lack of confidence,and the longer it goes on the less confidence I have , have had a few hot people get in touch but , there out of my league, again probably all in my head , so I kindly refuse a meet , "
I’m going to be a massive hypocrite here and tell you to never self-exclude…..
I’m only crap at following advice when it’s my own. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sexiness comes from confidence we have found. Dress smart and try to feel good will help.
As for actual performance, there is more to sex than the actual physical act. Try to ensure your partner get pleasure so that should the first time be over to quick for you it will not matter to them."
I have a preference for giving plenty of oral before I do anything more, so I’m usually OK in that respect. Not trying to score brownie points there, I just like doing it!
It’s just not always someone’s thing however, so pure penetrative stimulation would feel a bit daunting.
Yeah…..overthinking again  |
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I think the best thing you can do when you go on a first meet is to just put the sex to the back of your mind when you meet. Meet them initially as a person firsr before as someone your going to have sex with. Even if its just a quick cup of tea/drink/chat before you get on with things. Once your in their presence talking to them, at ease and (hopefully) liking them as a person just let things progress naturally into the bedroom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the best thing you can do when you go on a first meet is to just put the sex to the back of your mind when you meet. Meet them initially as a person firsr before as someone your going to have sex with. Even if its just a quick cup of tea/drink/chat before you get on with things. Once your in their presence talking to them, at ease and (hopefully) liking them as a person just let things progress naturally into the bedroom."
Agree the lower your self expectation the lower your anxiety…you can’t unlearn something you already know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep.
I've put on some chunk and I'd be second guessing whether I'm being lied to or whether the person I was meeting was lying to someone else and I could potentially destroy a life.
That's enough for me to hang up my meeting boots and call it quits."
Well here I go again dispensing advice I should listen to myself, but it feels like you’re burdening a lot of responsibility that isn’t truly yours there.
Why would you personally be destroying a life if you’re not the one cheating and weren’t aware of the situation, taking your example? You can’t inherit the sin of others, nor should you try and claim it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am my own worst enemy, Ady encourages me and tells me I'm sexy. I want to do many naughty things but my body confidence is practically zero, I get so nervous before I meet anyone.  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Its easy to read what other people post regarding their sexual prowess, however we are not robots. We all have things we are good at and things we are not so good at.
Focus on the good, and remember this is meant to be fun.
I have my own hang ups, but I learn to accept them. If someone wants to judge me based solely on my size, shape, length, girth, stamina, hair (facial or body) or how quick I cum then frankly they are not people I want in my circle. |
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"Yep.
I've put on some chunk and I'd be second guessing whether I'm being lied to or whether the person I was meeting was lying to someone else and I could potentially destroy a life.
That's enough for me to hang up my meeting boots and call it quits.
Well here I go again dispensing advice I should listen to myself, but it feels like you’re burdening a lot of responsibility that isn’t truly yours there.
Why would you personally be destroying a life if you’re not the one cheating and weren’t aware of the situation, taking your example? You can’t inherit the sin of others, nor should you try and claim it."
I have been cheated on in the past and it destroyed me long term. You see, with cheating comes lies. With lies comes the world as you thought you knew it.... gone. You don't know what of anything was/is true. You grieve for the relationship, you grieve for who you thought your partner was. You grieve for the you before your world got turned upside down. You grieve for future you, because they sure as shit have some struggles ahead. You grieve for your dreams, for your plans, for the confident person you once were, who's now a shell of emotion ranging from anger to utter confusion. You hate yourself, you hate yourself for being so stupid and trusting, for believing, for ignoring the red flags and gut feelings. You hate them too. You hate them for knowing this would be the outcome yet choosing to do it anyway, and you hate yourself for still loving them at the same time. You hate them because now you have a choice to make.
Being 50% responsible for putting another person through what I went through is enough to put me off. The cheater is only half to blame, because I would know there is a chance they're lying to me yet I chose to take that chance, especially on here where it's in your face, day in, day out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mainly about physical safety. I don't do car meets (well 1), and even hotels make me a tad nervous, I prefer chain hotels with lots of staff and CCTV. I don't do dogging. When meeting people at their home I always pass on their phone number and address to someone I trust in case.
Aside from that I guess I worry I'm too fat. Or they'll push me past my limits. Or not pull out as they currently need to.
Tbh, I usually message, talk and cam a while before a meet. Fortunately I am a good judge of character. So all my meets have been fine Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have my own hang ups, but I learn to accept them. If someone wants to judge me based solely on my size, shape, length, girth, stamina, hair (facial or body) or how quick I cum then frankly they are not people I want in my circle."
Good point…..”take me as I am or not at all” |
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I have no problem if a guy cums quickly as long as that doesn’t end the meet. What I hate is a guy cums and suddenly is getting dressed. Then I’m disappointed. I’d much rather carry on and have round 2 It should be about fun, not pressure |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
If you meet the right sort of person they won't be disappointed. Penetrative sex can be great but there's so much more to sex than lasting a set amount of time, not having the stamina to go through the karma sutra.
I've not had sex with someone other than my partner for a good few months and I'm worried that when I'm naked I'll be disappointing, I might get a bit sweaty if things get very energetic. Also my face when I orgasm hard isn't the sexiest, my eyes roll back a bit. Fuck it though.
I think we're our worst critics, especially when it comes to sex and how it "should be". As long as you're respectful, open to listening and can communicate with your sexual partner what you enjoy and actually want to have sex with the other, you're on to a winner. |
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By *ita7Man
over a year ago
Kettering |
Its not all about penetrative sex. I find a good pre meet chat build up works wonders for the people you are meeting. Call it edging if you want, so come the time cum the man. Using all your oral skills & titillation by caresses, massage etc works for me I am no stud yet I have plenty of success. You dont need to fuck for hours or keep repeating to have a great time. You will be pleasantly surprised using this strategy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My main worry when a meet someone is will I be able to please them. Sometimes I can last hours and others 5min. Has my goal is to always satisfy the woman over my own. "
I’m sure that approach will do you proud |
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