FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How would friends & family react to your swinging secret?
How would friends & family react to your swinging secret?
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Our swinging life is private and we’re not as handed of it my wife and I. But our strict family upbringings mean we would be mortified if people found out.
I expect some people feel the same way yet other are open about swinging and happy to show faces on here, giving blow jobs and even cum shots with full face. We have those pics but could never publicise them.
How do people feel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im an orphan now so parents not an issue.
My sister knows some bits and pieces but that's because we are close and tell each other everything.
I think she lives vicariously through me at times lol.
Some friends know , again closest, but most don't.
I have a quiet, angelic demeanour in the real life. Alas that may be where I go wrong as they say its always the quiet ones lol |
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Some of our friends family know, we have been found out one way or another or we discussed it with them, others not so much!!
We tend to keep it on the down low and if they find us because of them being part of the lifestyle too then they tend to want to keep it quiet too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They would be mortified.
Absolutely nobody knows I'm on here.......only you lot! Lol"
Ha sometimes having a little secret side life makes things way more exciting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My family and friends are fully aware of my lifestyle. They don't judge. They might not always understand but as long as I'm happy and safe, that's all that matters to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The majority of my family and friends know and have even seen my profile. My in laws are the only people it's a secret from and they're very unlikely to find out xx |
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Our friends know and have done for a long time. Doesn't bother. In some cases, they happen to know other singers as well OR dabbled themselves at some point. We've known them for decades
and it's better they know the real us. Doesn't mean we have to bonk them.
Family don't know and we wouldn't tell them either but we are a very liberal family so wouldn't be an issue. It's just not a conversation we wish to have with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Fab and Kink life is a guarded private side to me.
Important family and friends know I go out with younger men for fun, but that is all.
My public persona is unremarkable and exemplary citizen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only one friend knows (apart from my wife obviously) but no-one else. Being quite active in my local community, I think it would cause me a lot of trouble if it was known. |
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My mother would probably roll her eyes, tell me I was a disgrace and then berate me for not only being "a slag" but a crap one at that and that she was right all along and I really am useless at everything I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only my brother knows I’ve been with couples etc. before, and he thinks that was in my ‘past life’.
I’d be devastated (for obvious reasons) if anyone else who I know knew I’m a kinky sex-addict!! Haha. |
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We are very discreet to keep our swinging lifestyle secret, for people who don't understand the scene and what it involves they can be very judgemental and see it as giving each other permission to cheat! Which of course its nothing like that at all! Plus we get a kick out of it just being our naughty secret;) |
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We agree with love laugh live above
Non swingers simply don’t get it
It brings you closer together not further apart
Cheating is lying
Swinging and sharing can be beautiful and the ultimate in openness x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our swinging life is private and we’re not as handed of it my wife and I. But our strict family upbringings mean we would be mortified if people found out.
I expect some people feel the same way yet other are open about swinging and happy to show faces on here, giving blow jobs and even cum shots with full face. We have those pics but could never publicise them.
How do people feel?"
Couldn't give a Shite, none of their business.  |
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Think all of our family and friends know and it doesn't bother us. The daughter brought it up the last time she was through and her me and the hubby had a good discussion about it over a few drinks. The hubby's best mate has been asking him about it and is keen to try but his wife is not so sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter knows and like myself is very open minded, and yes she is on this site with her partner.
With no parents still alive, and being an only child, don't need to keep secret from family.
As for friends they more than likely expect, though no one has ever said anything ?? |
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No one we know cares. Most people have known for a while. It’s not that we stand there chatting about it daily it’s just that we’ve always been open about it. No one that matters should care and if they’re spending effort annoyed about who you’re fucking, they’re not someone you should waste time with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few friends know we met a couple but not we still do…the lads in the couples always ask how it happened and wish they could
Family would be shocked  "
I wonder how many couples that don't swing would like to try it if a safe discreet opportunity arose for them, do you think they discuss it at any level? |
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"Our swinging life is private and we’re not as handed of it my wife and I. But our strict family upbringings mean we would be mortified if people found out.
I expect some people feel the same way yet other are open about swinging and happy to show faces on here, giving blow jobs and even cum shots with full face. We have those pics but could never publicise them.
How do people feel?"
I was brought up in a strict catholic family. So I’d be mortified if my mother or sister found out. Weirdly enough, my sister would probably just tell me to make sure I’m being safe and my mother would probably just tell me to get a girlfriend instead.
But, due to preconceptions of swingers and my upbringing, I’d still rather they didn’t know. |
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"Our swinging life is private and we’re not as handed of it my wife and I. But our strict family upbringings mean we would be mortified if people found out.
I expect some people feel the same way yet other are open about swinging and happy to show faces on here, giving blow jobs and even cum shots with full face. We have those pics but could never publicise them.
How do people feel?"
mine didn't really care.... |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
Our perspective is that society makes swinging a dirty past time. Like the lgbt community many years ago, we are frowned upon. Our sex life isn't something we go round shouting about as no one would, even vanilla. We feel that, as we say due to society, people still keep this lifestyle swept under the carpet. If more people were accepting to their own lifestyle, not including lifestyle to mean gender, as the lgbt community campaigned about for many many years, society would learn to accept our lifestyle. So, our family don't know, as far as we are aware, but we'd have no problem telling them if they asked. The acceptance is something they have to bear, not us   |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
My family would be shocked and my elderly mum would be mortified. I guess though that a few of my closest friends would not be in the slightest bit surprised!
Gbat |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Those who care know but don't judge like they say its my life as long as I'm safe x"
This lifestyle is definitely safer than going down the local night club and picking up one night stands, that however is not frowned upon |
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Couple of friends know, one has dropped me off and picked me up from a club a couple times. I’ve told them for safety reasons, it’s never discussed past me having a meet or going to a club just so someone knows where I am if I was in any trouble. Family would be disgusted I’d imagine so no need for them to know |
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I am lucky enough to have open minded friends and family that all know that I am polyamorous and what I get up to and are all comfortable with it taking the stance that if I am happy why should it matter  |
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Ironically, a few weeks ago a family member had a suspicion that we were/might have been swinging.
Rather than just ask us and have a conversation about it, they decided to make an account on here and try to track our profile down. Obviously as they knew our ages and location, it wasn’t too hard to set up a filter to find all the couples that matched our details and then sift through them.
Apparently they were able to identify us as they recognised rooms in the background of some of our pictures (we were careful to not show faces or any other identifiable details) and realised that this profile belonged to us.
So, rather than come to us about it and ask to confirm or deny their suspicions and have an adult conversation - they took screenshots of everything, spread it about to the rest of the extended family in secret (even sharing the screenshots) until it came to a head and another family member asked us about it.
Since then we’ve been forced in to having lots of different conversations with different members of the extended family, explaining what they’ve heard and putting to bed the misconceptions they might have had.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that all our profile was screenshotted and spread around the family. We’re now forced to share details about our private life with people we don’t/didn’t really want to share them with. We’ve kinda lost that freedom and ownership of our own private lives for the time being.
Generally speaking we’re being overwhelmingly condemned by everyone that has found out. Everyone is incensed that we might be our exploring our sexuality in a safe and consensual manner - but nobody thinks there was anything wrong with our private details and screenshots of our profile being shared with people we didn’t want to know about them.
Hence why we’ve blanked everything off in our profile for a while - giving us time to take stock and figure out where we go from here.
TLDR; Our family have reacted pretty badly and basically ostracised us forever more.  |
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Would never say a thing to family n friends, its private to us,our naughty secret Xxx
One thing you seem to forget. Anyone could KNOW about or inadvertently DISCOVER this site. All they have to do then is click on "SEE WHO'S NEAR" and BINGO! ,There you both are, face photos and all..cover blown!! I know this because I was staying with some friends in my old home town. Clicked on 'see who's near' and was browsing through the profiles. Suddenly I spotted a girl and thought, "I know her!"... Downloaded her photo, showed it to my closest mate ( but didn't tell him how I found it), and suddenly we all knew who she was. Apparently, as one of my other friends was a postman, I found out she's been flashing delivery drivers, postmen, etc over the years, but her FAB profile, photos, and videos have opened up a whole new viewpoint on her x |
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We both like the fact its our little secret, I think not only family but Anyone who isn't on the 'scene' have their opinions and thoughts of what it involves, people can be very judgemental if they don't know what happens x |
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"I don't keep secrets "
This exactly. I don't broadcast it but am in no way ashamed of it. It's a part of my life I get huge enjoyment out of and if others have an issue with it it's their issue, not mine.
My family know and couldn't care less. Some of my friends and even a few work colleagues know and I find that most people just accept it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they found out they would be on here to so would know what it involves "
ROFL
if we were found out, the shame would mean leaving the country and not being able to face family/etc |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We came clean with a lovely supposedly vanilla friend over dinner one evening. Within an hour we were back at her place having beautiful naked girl on girl sex. Pictures on our profile to prove it. I'm now patiently waiting for the opportunity of a replay. |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
Some friends at work found out, they were jealous as f*** !
During one meeting on a Monday morning the boss asked me if I had had a good weekend; I said yes I had a very, very, very, very, good weekend (4 x very meant 4 shags. Some colleagues in the know could not control their mirth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some friends at work found out, they were jealous as f*** !
During one meeting on a Monday morning the boss asked me if I had had a good weekend; I said yes I had a very, very, very, very, good weekend (4 x very meant 4 shags. Some colleagues in the know could not control their mirth."
Credit to you, enjoy it while you can. |
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By *stoppMan
over a year ago
Durham |
Sister knows because I meet her friend on here a few years back, her reaction was ‘my friend says you shave your balls’ and don’t let the family know your into swinging.
A few friends know too. |
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My kids know and so do most at work.
I talk about it quite often I am not embarrassed by it at all, some of my work friends have seen my pics  .
Have even set a single lady friend of mine up on here.
X Storm X |
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By *rMrs84Couple
over a year ago
Doncaster |
Parents would never find out, they'd be mortified.
Friends - those who matter wouldn't care, those who care wouldn't matter. Some know, others don't, we don't advertise it but if it comes up in conversation we're honest. |
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I don’t do anything in life I’d be ashamed of .
I couldn’t care less who knows..
I’ve bumped into fello swingers when out and about and the level of discretion from other swingers is fantastic..
But as I say I’m totally not bothered who knows..
Tinder is worse than here for sex meets and nobody cares if you’re on there  |
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You can probably tell who is open about fab from their pics.
If full face pics are on their public profile then people are going to know who they are. If they are hidden (eg ours) then I guess they don’t want people to know. |
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"All my family know, even my sons, who just find it a bit 'sad'!
I don’t find it shameful. Of course, I don’t work, so I don’t have that particular privacy concern."
Imagine your sons seeing mommy’s open pictures in here ! Have some thought for them ! |
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"All my family know, even my sons, who just find it a bit 'sad'!
I don’t find it shameful. Of course, I don’t work, so I don’t have that particular privacy concern.
Imagine your sons seeing mommy’s open pictures in here ! Have some thought for them !"
I’ve raised them not to see nudity as something inherently sexual. I recommend it, particularly for sons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ironically, a few weeks ago a family member had a suspicion that we were/might have been swinging.
Rather than just ask us and have a conversation about it, they decided to make an account on here and try to track our profile down. Obviously as they knew our ages and location, it wasn’t too hard to set up a filter to find all the couples that matched our details and then sift through them.
Apparently they were able to identify us as they recognised rooms in the background of some of our pictures (we were careful to not show faces or any other identifiable details) and realised that this profile belonged to us.
So, rather than come to us about it and ask to confirm or deny their suspicions and have an adult conversation - they took screenshots of everything, spread it about to the rest of the extended family in secret (even sharing the screenshots) until it came to a head and another family member asked us about it.
Since then we’ve been forced in to having lots of different conversations with different members of the extended family, explaining what they’ve heard and putting to bed the misconceptions they might have had.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that all our profile was screenshotted and spread around the family. We’re now forced to share details about our private life with people we don’t/didn’t really want to share them with. We’ve kinda lost that freedom and ownership of our own private lives for the time being.
Generally speaking we’re being overwhelmingly condemned by everyone that has found out. Everyone is incensed that we might be our exploring our sexuality in a safe and consensual manner - but nobody thinks there was anything wrong with our private details and screenshots of our profile being shared with people we didn’t want to know about them.
Hence why we’ve blanked everything off in our profile for a while - giving us time to take stock and figure out where we go from here.
TLDR; Our family have reacted pretty badly and basically ostracised us forever more. "
That's awful. Really feel for you. It's none of their business and people who do that kind of thing are far from being the kind of good people they want others to believe they are. |
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I guess there would be some mock outrage and clutching of pearls, but I don't think anyone would be too surprised.
I don't discuss it with most of my friends and all of my family, not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed, but because I don't discuss sex with most of them. It's none of their business. |
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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago
New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies |
I doubt most of my family would be shocked or surprised, in fact I am sure my parents were swingers, as remember finding a stash of porn mags with a few contact mags when i was a young teenager. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"All my family know, even my sons, who just find it a bit 'sad'!
I don’t find it shameful. Of course, I don’t work, so I don’t have that particular privacy concern.
Imagine your sons seeing mommy’s open pictures in here ! Have some thought for them !
I’ve raised them not to see nudity as something inherently sexual. I recommend it, particularly for sons."
Well said and well handled. x |
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I think mostly it would depend on how well you take it, if you feel its something you should be hiding or are embarrassed of then you'll react differently to if you feel your just doing something that you both enjoy.
My wife tells most of her friends what we do and a few of mime know, of course we don't openly share anything with family but don't worry about anyone finding out since in our eyes we are not doing anything wrong. |
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"Our friends know and have done for a long time. Doesn't bother. In some cases, they happen to know other singers as well OR dabbled themselves at some point. "
Reminds me a friend of mine recently did a websearch for singers for a Wedding and must’ve accidently typed an extra w into google! Imagine his shock at finding this site! He was like - “this lot really weren’t singers - they were like doing totally other shit!”
No kidding! Duh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's private to me and me alone. If someone happens to work me out on here then so beit but I would expect the same discretion that I would show them. I'd happily chat to them about it but close family and friends don't need to know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our friends know and have done for a long time. Doesn't bother. In some cases, they happen to know other singers as well OR dabbled themselves at some point.
Reminds me a friend of mine recently did a websearch for singers for a Wedding and must’ve accidently typed an extra w into google! Imagine his shock at finding this site! He was like - “this lot really weren’t singers - they were like doing totally other shit!”
No kidding! Duh! "
Sounds fishy, since you can’t even get on this site without logging in |
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"Our friends know and have done for a long time. Doesn't bother. In some cases, they happen to know other singers as well OR dabbled themselves at some point.
Reminds me a friend of mine recently did a websearch for singers for a Wedding and must’ve accidently typed an extra w into google! Imagine his shock at finding this site! He was like - “this lot really weren’t singers - they were like doing totally other shit!”
No kidding! Duh!
Sounds fishy, since you can’t even get on this site without logging in"
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