FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bdsm
Bdsm
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."
I am trying to to get into it but not having much luck on here. Difficult for a newbie. Adore the scene though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Adore the BDSM scene, I’m the submissive one in our relationship, in my daily life i have so many responsibilities and things I have to be in control of for various reasons so I adore being able to relinquish that control and have him be the one in charge of the situation, turns me to jelly x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We adore our Dom sub relationship and both love to switch x We are currently exploring flogging with canes and paddles.... marking each other so we know we are owned x
There is definitely a fine line between pain and pleasure |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries. "
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
"
That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hey there.... I'm a bdsm lover... I started my journey in 2012 after my divorce and a 20 year vanilla relationship.... I've never looked back, and have found that I'm a sensual, tactile pleasure/pain dom... who loves shibari rope play.... ill never go back... its my life now and I love it!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s interesting re 50 shades. It definitely peaked a lot of curiosity which was welcome. I’m completely sub. My plays along as domme but I crave something more serious |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Although fifty shades showed bdsm in the wrong light.... it did start couples talking about it more... and more couples starting their journey in the kink world.... sometimes I have to explain to people its not just whips, chains and pain.... the sensual touching, the connecting, the total trust and respect given to each other in a proper kink relationship is soo much more mind blowing than a regular relationship.... the connection is soo much deeper and on many different levels.... there is no feeling like it...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Although fifty shades showed bdsm in the wrong light.... it did start couples talking about it more... and more couples starting their journey in the kink world.... sometimes I have to explain to people its not just whips, chains and pain.... the sensual touching, the connecting, the total trust and respect given to each other in a proper kink relationship is soo much more mind blowing than a regular relationship.... the connection is soo much deeper and on many different levels.... there is no feeling like it...... "
Yes the feeling is quite something |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been known to dip my toe in every now and then....
Managed to commit some time and resources to building a number of discreet bdsm benches, swings, restraints etc which are used on occasion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have failed to understand it all for years but we both really love the outfits and have done a fair few pictures in dungeons with 'staged' whipping on restraint pictures. We can never get models to help out though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does anyone know of a well equipped dungeon in the Yorkshire area that is for hire?"
Leeds dungeon but I seem to recall someone saying recently that its closed down. Pandora's have a well equipped dungeon but then you would have to attend on a club night along with everyone else.
Mr H. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My first ever meet 18 months ago is still my DD, I’m very submissive, and he’s made me feel safe enough to experiment and have lots of new and exciting experiences.
I love it, and we get filthier all the time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hangerMan
over a year ago
brighton |
Absolutely love BDSM. I am normally sub and love my limits being extended.
Of course, trust between the parties involved, is crucial.
Aftercare is equally important in intensive scenes. There is a lot more to it than many people realise! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
"
There are elements of 50 that are D/s behavioural attitude.
Makes me laugh when people dis that through.
Suspect that people who have experienced D/s relationships (not experiences) will recognise elements of 50 to know it was written from experience, not fantasy.
Suspect the film dumbed it down.
Just my perspective.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
This thread is a pleasant change from the Alpha male thread, that cussed off people who called themselves alpha, and then veered off to insulting people who call themselves Doms. It was clearly half full of people who knew nothing about BDSM. The other half were the usual suspects that had had bad experiences and tarred every dominant with the same brush. So respect to those on this thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries. "
Agree trust boundaries and communication followed by some aftercare |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
Agree trust boundaries and communication followed by some aftercare "
Safe words and consent |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
"
Agree consent is high up there as with boundaries
Without either could lead to a potential disaster, or even a horrific trigger of past experience
I'm no expert, I'm learning as much as I can about dynamics before I find mine
It's not all about whips n handcuffs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have failed to understand it all for years but we both really love the outfits and have done a fair few pictures in dungeons with 'staged' whipping on restraint pictures. We can never get models to help out though."
Is this what's called Cos play |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Personally I think, discussion is the key.
If people who have been in a relationship understand the basics, it is finite boundary details that are important.
Think the weird one is the type of after care, do people judge between Doms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
"
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being dominated by Miss B is the best experience I have ever had. Kinky, unknown, but owned and loved. I can see new kinks being explored n addition to the flogger, whips etc… in private and clubs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue."
OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue."
A verb is a doing word. So how you work that out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.
OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle "
Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.
OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle
Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun"
And I'm still learning |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andJDubaiCouple
over a year ago
Dubai, with visits to Glasgow, Edinburgh and London |
"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."
Stag/Dom and Vixen/sub couple here. We Love the mental connection and mind play involved as well as the physical side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I thoroughly enjoy BDSM, but for me it's not the be all and end all.
It's fun to introduce others into it, and help them explore, but it's more about building that trust an dynamic, and figuring out where to run with it, rather than just having the activity (e.g. flogging, caning, tying, etc)
Communication and consent is the biggest thing for BDSM to be fun (and keep you both safe) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We met at a social (munch)on the bdsm scene (K's first ever outing)
Our first date was the BBB and aftermath
that was nearly 6 years ago and pre covid very active on the scene
We actually got to our first post-covid (outdoors) munch yesterday to meet old (and new) friends.
D/s and DDlg couple here and so hoping clubs return to some sort of normality soon.
So yes, a major part of our life together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We can’t wait to explore the scene further after a recent taste to further explore our kink. Would love to chat to more experienced people and experience more practical fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ediMan
over a year ago
Leeds |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.
A verb is a doing word. So how you work that out"
Check you out, haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im a bratty sub, he is a talented experienced Dom whom I love to challenge and put a smile on his face.
I couldn't live without the lifestyle now it's so important to me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.
OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle
Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun"
Think you will find it is a generalised nominalisation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ediMan
over a year ago
Leeds |
Had some light experiences in a dungeon and found it to be intriguing and such a turn on, obviously we all have our preferences, would be great to explore further with the right people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any couples within our age interest fancy chatting with us? Miss B is Domme and Mr S is Sub x"
Always up for a chat but we manage to be both side of your age range... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any couples within our age interest fancy chatting with us? Miss B is Domme and Mr S is Sub x
Always up for a chat but we manage to be both side of your age range... "
Hi, would be happy to chat, look forward to saying hi and talking all things bdsm |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too.
I am trying to to get into it but not having much luck on here. Difficult for a newbie. Adore the scene though. " try another site. This one, doesn't really cater for those who well and truly into bdsm. Before anyone jumps on me it just doesn't. I've been in the fetish bdsm scene over 35 years. All I found on here are fantasists |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am Predominantly a Dom in both MF and MM (I am bisexual) roles but can easy turn to "switch" roles - nothing to heavy more to do with control and punishment as apposed to anything seriously heavy
J xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Love it and as a switch think I enjoy the best of both worlds. Especially love tie and tease.
My submissive side never gets to play so hopefully find a dominant (especially a lady) to submit to.
Still a lot of things to discover |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would happily submit to the right lady or couple.
Ive had a bit of experience with guys dominating me too and quite enjoyed it.
Im way to sissy to dominate a lady but think it would be fun to be the pvc clad mistress to a guy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a submissive side, but can be dominant too. I love impact play and restraints and I absolutely love it when I'm indulged in it. Ropes and a 'happy knot' involved are even more fun
PW |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been playing around on the BDSM scene for 20 plus years now
I'm fairly focused on bondage etc, but always enjoy D/s and it's fun to play around with impact play too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"How do couples work if both sway more to been sub?
This is something we struggle finding the balance with. "
You find a 3rd more dominant play partner, or learn to switch.
As we are both on the dominant side we have made friends with play partners that are more on the submissive side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"It's not just about finding A dom
What's the dynamic
Soft dom hard dom, daddy dom, pleasure dom.. and a good few others
As I findin, exploring my niche as a sub, vetting is just as much important as the dynamic its self
I'll agree with the majority on here that there are alot a wanna be doms who think its just about whips n handcuffs
Dominating is a verb, a dynamic.
Think those who look upon it as a noun might give a clue.
OK I'm still learning all these terms and clearly getting into a muddle
Hey, you are right. A noun is a word that names someone or thing. Dom is a noun
Think you will find it is a generalised nominalisation."
Apologies for the long post.
I am not sure what a "generalised nominalisation" is, although I know about the process of nominalisation. Given that "dominate" and "dominant" are derived from Latin, their positions as verb and noun have long been established. The dictionary I use is the New Elizabethan dictionary from 1956 and it has "dominant" as a noun (amongst other parts of speech). But that is all irrelevant because largely in BDSM communities "Dominant" "submissive" and "M/S" are not used in their dictionary definitions. In fact people seem largely to make up their own meaning of what is a "Dominant", "submissive", and M/S.
I make a judgement about people who conflate " being dominant" with being "a Dominant".
I also make a judgement about people who brand 50SOG as being the root of all evil in BDSM. It is simply badly written erotica. That being said I have played with a number of bottoms who got into the scene through being validated by 50SOG. Conversely I know a number of dominants who would not know one end of a flogger from another or any of the norms of the kink community that present themselves as Dominants and they have never read the books or seen the films. My take is this, first is the media portrayal of BDSM is and has has been about sex and that has been the case since the latter half of the 20th century. Second, BDSM, Kink, dominant, submissive, and M/S have become porn terms. Which means that you have easily available clips of woman obediantly having wild vanilla sex with these masters and dominants. If it's a domme at a crack of a whip they are pegging some guy or playing with the male sub's genitals. The problem with how porn portrays BDSM is that there is no context and no discussion of consent or negotiation (well except those made by the Kink company but on the streaming sites the negotiation and discussion of boundaries those are cut out). Also porn does not show the relationship context. The modern view is that being a top or a dominant is not about sex but being responsive and responsible. That is why I believe it is from porn most men get their idea of BDSM.
In my experience there are some good Doms on Fab, who I know from the London and home counties scene. The issue is that people choose dominants on the basis they choose sexual partners not on how they should choose a dominant.
I don't think the other site is better for meeting people, it contains the same issues as here. For a variety of reasons it seems,(in my view) to have got worse recently.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Well put together post.
However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a
person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.
Just my perspective.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Enjoyed having a Dominant nature for over 25 years and when you get the connection with a sub the dynamics are amazing. Also enjoy taking this into cuckolding the right couple but that is a whole different subject |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Well put together post.
However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a
person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.
Just my perspective.
"
Everyone is entitled to their perspective,I think polite debate is a way we can explore a subject and may be have our views challenged or strengthened. There is (in my view) no right or wrong about BDSM except the need for fully informed consent, capacity to consent, being safe, a lack of abuse and your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it (but please don't expose it to me). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Well put together post.
However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a
person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.
Just my perspective.
Everyone is entitled to their perspective,I think polite debate is a way we can explore a subject and may be have our views challenged or strengthened. There is (in my view) no right or wrong about BDSM except the need for fully informed consent, capacity to consent, being safe, a lack of abuse and your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it (but please don't expose it to me). "
Consent is imperative and a given.
People’s projection, isn’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Well put together post.
However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a
person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.
Just my perspective.
Everyone is entitled to their perspective,I think polite debate is a way we can explore a subject and may be have our views challenged or strengthened. There is (in my view) no right or wrong about BDSM except the need for fully informed consent, capacity to consent, being safe, a lack of abuse and your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it (but please don't expose it to me).
Consent is imperative and a given.
People’s projection, isn’t."
Especially third party. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Well put together post.
However to me dominant is not a noun as in you cannot touch it, walk round it or put it in a wheelbarrow. You can put a
person in a wheelbarrow however to me dominant is a human behaviour therefor a verb and nominalised into a noun, a nominalisation that appears to taken as a title and generalised by the porn industry.
Just my perspective.
Everyone is entitled to their perspective,I think polite debate is a way we can explore a subject and may be have our views challenged or strengthened. There is (in my view) no right or wrong about BDSM except the need for fully informed consent, capacity to consent, being safe, a lack of abuse and your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it (but please don't expose it to me).
Consent is imperative and a given.
People’s projection, isn’t."
Fully informed consent and capacity to consent is what separates BDSM from abuse.
Unfortunately consent cannot be taken as a given and the sub and Dom each have to discuss consent to make sure they are on the same page, and listen and take on board what each is saying. If you are into podcasts Swinging Outside The Lines episode "Ski, Fuck, Fuck" has a great example of what happens when you don't discuss consent and it is just assumed.
This is because there are different approaches to consent e.g. the Tea approach to consent; the everything is doable apart from that which is excluded approach; there is the nothing is doable apart from that which is included approach. There is the I am the Dominant, and you as the sub have to do everything I want, because you consented to be my sub, therefore you consent to everything that I as the dominant wants, approach.
Also, there is I forgot to tell that I am married/ have a partner but you are to be treated as consenting to the relationship and everything we did.
Consent also evolves, because people change in the scene, and to assume someone you played with six months earlier plays the same is a dangerous mistake.
We are all entitled to our views, and I apologise if I misunderstood yours. Consent is the essential bedrock, but should never be taken as a given. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Totally agree, was exploring a possible D/s relationship nothing agreed, then at at a club the lady I was talking to ( who didn’t believe my wife knew) came in and fully kissed her with no consent at all.
I have a dry sense of humour, often misinterpreted.
Consent is imperative, projecting from rejection isn’t.
Every stick has two ends.
Don’t wave it at me.
Find facts.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole."
I've found with someone recently that A dom in control is totally different to being controlling... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I love BDSM, but i don't always love "fab bdsm", so many people on here think it's all 50shades of crap instead of nuanced, kinky and all about trust and boundaries.
To be fair 50 shades has helped introduce new people to the scene who might otherwise have felt alone or isolated with their feelings and desires so I have no problem with it as long as people are open to learning.
I have more issue with abusive people and consent violators, who come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds.
That's a very fair point, i think that's probably what i meant too, those that think being "dom" means being a dangerous arsehole.
I've found with someone recently that A dom in control is totally different to being controlling... "
To me, a Dom wants to be adored, and that doesn’t come from porn BDSM.
Controlling sensuality doesn’t come from porn.
Hey, just me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who likes the bdsm scene? I (mr) love being dominated. My Mrs loves the control side. Loved when we went to a dom and let her whip me too."
Totally love it, more than swinging actually. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would love to find a local switch for play, bdsm remains in porn only for now. No clubs in Wales atm "
House du Croix isn't far if you can get to Bristol... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've learned alot about myself and the scene over the last couple of years, but will ever remain the student (you can never know it all). I am all the way on the D side of the fence with quite the sadistic streak.
For those keen to learn but might want the need for anonymity, the BDSM community on Tumblr are a great source of info. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I created my profile I actually stipulate I was into bdsm and not vanilla stuff. Got replies from most women who were not interested or didn’t know about it but didn’t want to try.
Tbh I didn’t think it was that big on fabs. For bdsm I rather used the other two better sites. But if some subs on here want to try…. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a Dom couple, who enjoy introducing people into the scene.
We were (will be?) active in both our local and the Midlands scene.
"
I’ve just read your reply in the forum and was wondering if you could offer me advice at all please. I couldn’t message privately as you have blocked singles guys, but please look at my profile so you can see my set up (and that my wife is a member of Xtasia too).
I’ve recently become interested in the BDSM scene and very interested in the submissive/passive role. I believe this is because I have a very busy lifestyle and job where I’m always making decisions/in control...and I think I want to be able to safely give all that up for a brief moment in time.
However, I don’t know where to start.
Ideally I would like to chat with those on the scene and maybe attend some events as a spectator to begin with.
If you could help or offer advice, then please could you reach out to me.
Many thanks.
Andy.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a Dom couple, who enjoy introducing people into the scene.
We were (will be?) active in both our local and the Midlands scene.
I’ve just read your reply in the forum and was wondering if you could offer me advice at all please. I couldn’t message privately as you have blocked singles guys, but please look at my profile so you can see my set up (and that my wife is a member of Xtasia too).
I’ve recently become interested in the BDSM scene and very interested in the submissive/passive role. I believe this is because I have a very busy lifestyle and job where I’m always making decisions/in control...and I think I want to be able to safely give all that up for a brief moment in time.
However, I don’t know where to start.
Ideally I would like to chat with those on the scene and maybe attend some events as a spectator to begin with.
If you could help or offer advice, then please could you reach out to me.
Many thanks.
Andy.
"
Better luck in a fetish site rather than here… they have forums and groups for beginners… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic