FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Accept me for who I am
Accept me for who I am
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you try to look after your body in some way so it may be more attractive to others or do you do nothing and believe others should just accept you for who you are?
Does body shape and size make a difference to who you would want to connect with when you look at profiles?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Body shape or size should not come into meeting or liking someone People should get to know that person before being judgemental of them thats what I do size shape should not come into it at all everyone is sexy hot and beautiful no matter what size they are |
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Sexual attraction is a combination of different things including personality and lioks. Different people will weight those things differently, and find different versions of them attractive or not.
For us, we have to like the person, but we also have to be physically attracted to them if it's going to go in a sexual direction. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We don't expect everybody to be attracted to us. I think saying looks should play no part for anybody is unrealistic. |
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We accept people for who they are but that doesn’t mean we’ll find them attractive.
Attraction is one of the selection criteria that defines our meets.
We have to feel physically attracted to them to want to take things further.
True, some personalities are amazing. |
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It's all about the attraction isn't it, you can't help it either way. I hate letting people down as I'm a softy but that's life, and I don't expect I'm everyone's cup of tea either!
That said, I'm on a big health kick atm and I think we should all do our best for our bodies, but for ourselves not for others!
I painted my toenails a gorgeous matte purple last night. I enjoy pretty toes for me! If A N Other likes them too, bonus! If not, meh *shrugs*
I'm waffling. I'm tired! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We should definitely accept people for who they are and how they look but that doesn't mean we have to find them attractive. We've all got our preference and when picking out a partner for casual fun surely you can be as picky as you like if you so choose. |
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"We should definitely accept people for who they are and how they look but that doesn't mean we have to find them attractive. We've all got our preference and when picking out a partner for casual fun surely you can be as picky as you like if you so choose. "
YES! 1 million percent!
It's so frustrating kindly saying thanks but I'm not interested to someone only for them to hurl abuse or even bombard me with pleading messages. I can't help who gives me the fanny flutters! |
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"Body shape or size should not come into meeting or liking someone People should get to know that person before being judgemental of them thats what I do size shape should not come into it at all everyone is sexy hot and beautiful no matter what size they are "
Completely disagree. Whilst body shape and physical attraction are not the most important factors and I'm personally more likely to turn someone down for reasons other than how they look, they do still count. It is within us all on a primal basis perhaps without us realising.
We all have our kryptonite and that's OK. What's not OK is looking found on someone or judging them as bad people because you don't find them physically attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do what I can OP to make myself more physically attractive.
It has a knock on effect. When we feel good because we look good confidence increases etc.
We should make an effort for potential partners or am I wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We try to eat a healthy diet and we do a bit of walking but we do it for us not for others on fab, if people find us attractive or like the way we look great, if not then there are thousands of others for them to look at on here.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, 100%.
Having spent most of my life living as a bodybuilder it has definitely influenced what I find attractive and not with a lady and I have also found that where at the beginning I thought bodybuilders looked good but a little strange NOW I think 'normal men' look strange,lol.
I have also made an effort to stay in good shape and improve year on year since 13yrs old, also eaten correctly.
Just last week my wife and gf were discussing the fact that Sheila had put on a little weight and pointed this out.. "so really you are very lucky cos you have always had Karl looking good, where as a lot of husbands let themselves go after a time"
I had never thought of it like that before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We should definitely accept people for who they are and how they look but that doesn't mean we have to find them attractive. We've all got our preference and when picking out a partner for casual fun surely you can be as picky as you like if you so choose.
YES! 1 million percent!
It's so frustrating kindly saying thanks but I'm not interested to someone only for them to hurl abuse or even bombard me with pleading messages. I can't help who gives me the fanny flutters! "
Right?! If you were looking for a relationship partner then I guess physical things can be overlooked a little more as it's the person and the personality that is what's going to go the distance. But for a casual encounter, why can't we pick the person that physically excites us? Personality definitely still plays a part but I feel the requirements are more reversed. At least for us anyway. Obviously can't speak for all. We can't be expected to sleep with anyone just because we have to be accepting. |
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"Do you try to look after your body in some way so it may be more attractive to others or do you do nothing and believe others should just accept you for who you are?
Does body shape and size make a difference to who you would want to connect with when you look at profiles?
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Yes I do try to look after my body. My opinion is that it's respectful to other people and yourself to present yourself well, not just so that you'll be sexually attractive though. I don't believe other people should take me just as I am if I haven't bothered about myself, if I haven't, why should they? The exception to this is illness or inability for any reason of course.
Body shape and size makes a difference to who I want to connect with sexually but not socially. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Body shape or size should not come into meeting or liking someone People should get to know that person before being judgemental of them thats what I do size shape should not come into it at all everyone is sexy hot and beautiful no matter what size they are "
Of course body shape should come into it on Fab. It's a swinging site not a dating site. Most people are here to fulfill their sexual fantasies not find a soul mate. Those fantasies might be to have sex with someone slim, or large, or well toned, with big or small tits, big cock, etc etc. |
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"Body shape or size should not come into meeting or liking someone People should get to know that person before being judgemental of them thats what I do size shape should not come into it at all everyone is sexy hot and beautiful no matter what size they are "
This is as far from reality as it gets on fab.
Liking someone and being sexually attracted to someone are two different things.
Be realistic. If a person doesn't find you attractive, no amount of "but I'm a nice guy if you get to know me" is going to change that. Why on earth should anyone meet you on fab if they don't want to have sex with you?
It just does not work that way.
And it goes the other way. You could be the most attractive person on fab someone body really desires. But if your personality is off, it's not going to happen then either.
Unless you're into the stranger thing, it's all about balance on Fab. Physical attraction first, personality and compatibility second. It's a balance thing.
We 100% accept the fact we're not for everyone. But it's just as true to say everyone is not for us either. There is absolutely zero way we are going to invest time into meeting people we are not physically attracted to not would we expect anyone to invest time into us either.
One of the creepiest messages we ever got from a couple on here was literally a "but you don't even know us" when we said no thanks to a couple who messaged us. Yeah, we didn't need to. Absolutely nothing was ever going to make us take our clothes off around them. If there was a list of physical things that make others attractive to us, they where the exact opposite.
It would be great if we could all live in a world where looks didn't matter but I'm not going to pretend I can suddenly get an erection for every women I meet and I'm certainly not going to pretend every woman should or does find me attractive.
It's all about balance and finding that sweet spot in the middle where it just....works. A winning combo of looks and personality that works for all parties involved. That cant and wont happen all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have an issue with body type or shape, more how they carry themselves... Poor posture ans stance can be very unattractive. But if I fancy a face, how slim or large you are is attractive too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I do to look after my body, keep it in shape etc I do for me, not for anyone else. I spent far too many years worrying about how I looked to others. I'm still not 100% happy with how I look and probably won't ever be but what I do now, I do for me. If others don't like the look of me for whatever reason,that's up to them. Doesn't phase me. I'm not going to fancy everyone either.
I do go for personality over body shape/ size generally but obviously I'm not a robot, there has to be an attraction there somewhere. |
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"Do you try to look after your body in some way so it may be more attractive to others or do you do nothing and believe others should just accept you for who you are?
Does body shape and size make a difference to who you would want to connect with when you look at profiles?
"
I never really looked after my body didn’t care what anyone thought, well a part from the self criticised wish I could tan/more toned but who doesn’t criticise themselves if it bothers you, you would do something about it. I think people should accept you for who you are inside and out but it never really works out that way does it 
Always been an average build, since having surgery I find I’m at the gym a lot more to help with the physio which stopped during covid but that’s for my health not to make it attractive to others so I still think people should take me for me scars/wobbly bits an all 
Everyone has a body type/size that attracts them be it big/small tall/short you can’t help who your attracted too. So embrace what you have and enjoy.
There is someone out there for everyone  xx |
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My view on it is this, I am who I am and if you don't like it, that's OK, because I think I'm fabulous
If we meet someone for a social or a club or wherever, or even message a profile and they are honest and say, no sorry not for me, then I have no issue in accepting that.
I'm very much aware that not everyone likes bigger women and I would never get upset that someone isn't attracted to me. We all have our preferences. That's what makes us different. Not everyone in life will like you or want to fuck you and vice versa.
Personally, for me, I'm much more attracted to someone mentally before physically.
I don't care if you're hung like a horse, 10 pack, muscles and all that, if the personality and brain don't attract me, the face or body certainly won't. I'm not going to play with someone just because he's drop dead gorgeous but can't string 2 sentences together.
I need to have some sort of connection at least mentally.
That's just my 2 cents
Mrs. Pea xxx
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We're both trying to lose weight at the moment (couples profile again soon), so yes trying to improve things physically... Past experience has shown us though that a person's character can be overwhelmingly attractive even if we're not initially attracted by their looks alone. Oh so many fond memories and incredibly sexy folk in our past  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm generally a quite low maintenance person and can happily love my cheap looks. However I have respect for others and so a good bit of grooming and looking pleasant is at least the way to be, especially seeing someone for the first time. But generally I'd hope to win them over with personality slightly more than looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look after myself because it makes me feel better in myself, little things like painting my nails, doing my hair, face masks.
I don't do them for anyone else but others may appreciate the effort I put in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I keep my body in shape and keep fit for health reason. It’s for me not primarily for others.
But also to make sure I am for enough to keep up with demanding women in the bedroom too
Some women like 6 packs other like the barrel of beer type… nothing is set in stone…. |
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I guess we are all different and as I am not looking for a relationship as such, personality therefore is of little importance, as I just want sex.However looks play a small part in what I fancy and that varies from day to day.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I keep my body in shape and keep fit for health reason. It’s for me not primarily for others.
But also to make sure I am fit enough to keep up with demanding women in the bedroom too
Some women like 6 packs other like the barrel of beer type… nothing is set in stone…."
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Depending on your personality, your tastes and preferences is what it is based on..
Some people believe that for this site, you don't need personality, just physical attraction.
Whereas others won't even think about a meet unless they have a connection other than sexually.
It all comes down to what you and the other person(s) involved are looking for and believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look after my body because it's good for me - don't want to be hauling that unwanted flab up a mountain - but I wouldn't be shaved below if it wasn't for Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve come to the conclusion that I am who I am and you can either like that or not, I’m not gonna lose anymore sleep over whether I get any fabs or meets I can’t change the hand god dealt me no matter what I do. I’m short, going bald, got a dad bod and slowly falling apart from the inside but at least I can still get hard when needed and the tongue works just as fine too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be found attractive you have to tick someone’s boxes. A good personality isn’t going to get you noticed when pics are what get that first initial interest.
With this in mind, yes I am trying to get myself into shape so I may be of interest to more people. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Body shape or size should not come into meeting or liking someone People should get to know that person before being judgemental of them thats what I do size shape should not come into it at all everyone is sexy hot and beautiful no matter what size they are "
Why shouldn't it? People are attracted to what they are attracted to, nobody should dictate attraction. |
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