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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Looking for some advice on how to spot, validate someone is genuine and avoid a repeat of today's fiasco.
1st user multi veri, agreed to meet in early afternoon. Midday I send a message and nothing, leaves it 30 minutes and sends text, met with yes still on. I travel 60 miles and arrive on time, text to confirm I'm here. 20 minutes nothing, few more txt and two phone calls 1hr passed absolutely radio silence, no message, no text or call.
I then arrange an off the cuff last minute arrangement with another verified account and travel 20 mins to agreed location and time for them to go offline radio silence for 25 minutes. I wasn't in the mood for waiting any longer so left and then met with a message asking why I'd left.....
I like to think I can spot a timewaster, no veri after yrs, New accounts, or ping pong messages where clearly they're having a tug. Anything else that I should be doing?  |
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In my experience, people seeking spontaneous meets are the most likely to be timewaters. If you're not taking very long to get to know someone, you won't have ample time to suss them out.
As for verified, is that actually meet verified rather than endless cam wanks? |
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"Looking for some advice on how to spot, validate someone is genuine and avoid a repeat of today's fiasco.
1st user multi veri, agreed to meet in early afternoon. Midday I send a message and nothing, leaves it 30 minutes and sends text, met with yes still on. I travel 60 miles and arrive on time, text to confirm I'm here. 20 minutes nothing, few more txt and two phone calls 1hr passed absolutely radio silence, no message, no text or call.
I then arrange an off the cuff last minute arrangement with another verified account and travel 20 mins to agreed location and time for them to go offline radio silence for 25 minutes. I wasn't in the mood for waiting any longer so left and then met with a message asking why I'd left.....
I like to think I can spot a timewaster, no veri after yrs, New accounts, or ping pong messages where clearly they're having a tug. Anything else that I should be doing? "
Theres just no need for it.. its shit for you, but maybe take more time getting to know a person 1st and don’t do spontaneous meets!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my experience, people seeking spontaneous meets are the most likely to be timewaters. If you're not taking very long to get to know someone, you won't have ample time to suss them out.
As for verified, is that actually meet verified rather than endless cam wanks?"
"Looking for some advice on how to spot, validate someone is genuine and avoid a repeat of today's fiasco.
1st user multi veri, agreed to meet in early afternoon. Midday I send a message and nothing, leaves it 30 minutes and sends text, met with yes still on. I travel 60 miles and arrive on time, text to confirm I'm here. 20 minutes nothing, few more txt and two phone calls 1hr passed absolutely radio silence, no message, no text or call.
I then arrange an off the cuff last minute arrangement with another verified account and travel 20 mins to agreed location and time for them to go offline radio silence for 25 minutes. I wasn't in the mood for waiting any longer so left and then met with a message asking why I'd left.....
I like to think I can spot a timewaster, no veri after yrs, New accounts, or ping pong messages where clearly they're having a tug. Anything else that I should be doing?
Theres just no need for it.. its shit for you, but maybe take more time getting to know a person 1st and don’t do spontaneous meets! "
Yeah I see what you both mean. The first account we'd been chatting for a few days and sounded great! In person verified.
I know shit happens and something more important than a meet could have come up but a quick msg to say not on?  |
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"Looking for some advice on how to spot, validate someone is genuine and avoid a repeat of today's fiasco.
1st user multi veri, agreed to meet in early afternoon. Midday I send a message and nothing, leaves it 30 minutes and sends text, met with yes still on. I travel 60 miles and arrive on time, text to confirm I'm here. 20 minutes nothing, few more txt and two phone calls 1hr passed absolutely radio silence, no message, no text or call.
I then arrange an off the cuff last minute arrangement with another verified account and travel 20 mins to agreed location and time for them to go offline radio silence for 25 minutes. I wasn't in the mood for waiting any longer so left and then met with a message asking why I'd left.....
I like to think I can spot a timewaster, no veri after yrs, New accounts, or ping pong messages where clearly they're having a tug. Anything else that I should be doing?
Theres just no need for it.. its shit for you, but maybe take more time getting to know a person 1st and don’t do spontaneous meets! "
.
It’s not just meet verified, but also is it multiple, who has verified them, does it look like a ring of people verifying each other. It’s more complicated at the moment too because nobody has been meeting. I always set the bar high and reduce it depending on what is at risk in terms of how much money or time I’d waste if it goes pearshape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dare say many have encountered such people , we certainly have and will probably continue getting caught out , frustrating so say the least but just put it behind you & carry on . ( still nice to vent off though) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Also wanted to vent to like minded people 
Venting is good, but in reality Fab and fakes should not be something important enough to get anyone wound up  "
Disagree with you there. As the chap above states, spending time and money to get ghosted is plenty enough to be wound up! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Disagree with you there. As the chap above states, spending time and money to get ghosted is plenty enough to be wound up!
Ok"
Glad we got that straightened out  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think your helmet affected your ability to think logically
I always use my helmet to think straight 
Fat lot of good that did you  "
Maybe I'm using the wrong helmet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they had last minute nerves and bottled it.
You will never know, but if you prepared to travel on just a messege, then I would suggest you look at your selection process."
Yeah that's a fair point. Messages and text, but In reality they're pretty much the same.
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I came across a catfish the other day, had at least 4 verifications! So you really never know.
The photos were a give away as they were professional, so I just searched on photo Sherlock. Poor bloke said he'd lost count of the number of people who've stolen his pics.
This is another reason i don't travel to meet people, I don't have the energy for that and for them not to show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had our fare share of time wasters. Arranged to meet verified couple and turned out to be a single bloke expecting us to play with him. We left straightaway. Lots of pic collectors sends friends invites. since then only do clubs meets. We advertise when we are going if someone genuinely interested to meet us they will come otherwise we still have a good time at a club. |
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I sympathize with you OP unfortunately I can't give you any tips. A similar thing happened to me I exchanged several messages and arranged a meet. She gave me the street name only and told me to message her when I was there. I arrived messaged her but no reply to any of my messages I cannot understand why as if she changed her mind she could just let me know instead of me having a 2 hour round trip and a wasted evening. No excuse in my opinion for a simple message to say she had changed her mind as manners cost nothing.Also she was a verified profile so I thought she was genuine  |
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"In my experience, people seeking spontaneous meets are the most likely to be timewaters. If you're not taking very long to get to know someone, you won't have ample time to suss them out.
As for verified, is that actually meet verified rather than endless cam wanks?"
Ding Ding Ding.
Always be wary. Verifications can be a good way to suss out real people from.fakers but even then, it's not fool proof. |
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We sympathise with the OP, we had a similar experience with an individual who we arranged a hotel meet with, lots of communication running up to the date, on the day they confirmed it was still on then we turned up and waited and waited, sent them a message and radio silence so a wasted expensive night, sent another message asking why they didn’t turn up and again the message was read but total silence so the block button was used but what annoys us is they had verifications and we actually know friends who have met this individual and they are still pedalling their wares on this site, would love to name and shame but we’d end up getting banned so we’ve used the experience as a life lesson and moved on which is why we tend to only meet in clubs or parties now |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
I think spotting fakes comes with experience, I'm pretty sure there would have been clues in their profile and prior message exchanges.
Until you've gained that experience op, I would suggest meeting socially first, and keeping your traveling within 10-20 miles. |
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