FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Socials v Socials with intention to play.

Socials v Socials with intention to play.

By *unnyandDi68 OP Couple over a year ago

LEIGH

Thoughts on Socials.

We have found that some Socials can become more about friendship and start moving away from sex! Obviously when the clubs are open Socials can be had in them and then play or not. But meeting in a pub or for a coffee just seems pointless to us.

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By *nthonyreidMan over a year ago

Santa Cruz Mountains Ca

we have had both experiences meeting socially is always our first choice see if we al get on . Some of the folks we have met have become very good friends and sex partners some just friends

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

I always insist on a social first. Otherwise people expect you to play and can become offended if you don’t want to.

How can you tell whether you want to play from a few photos and a brief bio?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are very new here but already had a fair few messages and when we've mentioned a social meet first a lot of jumped straight to "social at ours and see where things go". It seems that social is implied as a lead in to play. We aren't looking for that without really getting along with the people in question first.

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple over a year ago

darlington

We always meet couples for social first usually somewhere local so we can go back to ours but chemistry needs to be right you can't find that out just messaging it has usually led to play but a couple times it wasn't there

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

As a single lady, its a no brainer. You dont want to end up in someones home alone and not being into them and having to refuse play

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We feel it as an opportunity to meet potential playmates be it a organised group social or just a couple.

We would have to get on with someone, find them attractive be it body or mind and to be fair you can't afford to be to careful in today's climate of unscrupulous profiles. I think that we have seen it all before.

There is plenty of people advertising something that they're not and at a plus point its just easier than days, week or months of message ping pong, gives us the peace of mind that we know who we are inviting into our own home not to mention the safety factor.

Really wish more would be up for either a pre drink or social if we are honest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We like going to a large social (before going onto a club.(always held in a bar)

There are many people there and you get a real chance to talk and find out more.

If later you want to take it further at the club then it is up to you.

Regardless of what happens it always makes it into a good night where you meet many potential friends in a safe environment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Socials are supposed to be a no pressure meets only . We prefer socials as we can always discuss boundaries , type of play etc rather going straight for sex and getting disappointed.

We are here for pleasure so it's best to chat about it and see if there is a vibe.

Sometimes the pre social chats or webcam chats have also made life easier on first meet and we have played on some social meets too.

As far as waste of time is concerned ,it shouldn't bother people who are looking for some quality fun, rather being desperate to get laid with anyone.

If people can't talk or behave in a civil way in public then I think hacing sex with them is fruitless .

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By *euve4usCouple over a year ago

Teddington

We have done socials at home and more recently in the pub or restaurant. If we like the company then we will play the same day.

We have an agreed code phrase if one of us doesn’t feel a connection to play - hasn’t been used yet as a social follows several message exchanges where we then feel comfortable to meet.

We are looking at a social scenario soon where we may meet to then play at a later date for various reasons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always insist on a social first. Otherwise people expect you to play and can become offended if you don’t want to.

How can you tell whether you want to play from a few photos and a brief bio?!"

Exactly, even exchanging longer conversation online doesn't guarantee there'll chemistry in normal conversation. And plus there's every chance people's photos are considerably out of date and they're hoping to not get called out on it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always insist on a social first. Otherwise people expect you to play and can become offended if you don’t want to.

How can you tell whether you want to play from a few photos and a brief bio?!

Completely agree, we always arrange a social first as its very different seeing and talking to someone in the flesh so to speak. The only time we don't is if we are staying away and I just need some fun, then I get Ady to arrange someone for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always insist on a social first. Otherwise people expect you to play and can become offended if you don’t want to.

How can you tell whether you want to play from a few photos and a brief bio?!

I always social within 2 weeks of first chatting. Online is not the same as in person interaction.

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By *entlecaressMan over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

It may not be what people think of guys but I always prefer a social meet first with no expectations to go further. I need a connection with the people I engage sexually with.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Thoughts on Socials.

Pretty much all my meets started with a social over a coffee, although some were drinks in pubs too. I did go on to play on the day some of the times, but usually if we made a connection on that first face to face, then a play date was arranged soon after. I certainly enjoyed more success this way, than being a solo guy in clubs

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By *imply_SensualMan over a year ago

Widnes

I approach in a 'never say never' kind of way, which means I go into a social with no expectations, but if there is chemistry and we get on, and then there is an opportunity to play, then take it.

I always meet socially in a public place.

If however, those things arent there, its easier to walk away, especially for lone females.

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By *issAphroditeWoman over a year ago

Norwich

Someone dismissing something as pointless because they don't like/need it would be a red flag for me as it shows a lack of empathy.

Even if something isn't a requirement for me, I can still appreciate that it may be important to others. As a single woman interested in men, I am well aware that I am the demographic most at risk of harm on here, so I need to feel safe and comfortable with someone before considering play. There have been people I've met socially where their general demeanor did not match that of their online persona and I'm thankful we met somewhere public where I was less vulnerable.

In terms of group socials, that's more about friendships and "the scene", which for some, being part of the swinging community is just as important, if not more so, than getting laid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never expect to play a social but if the chemistry is off the charts - go with the flow I say

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

All my first meets are a social only. I value my life too much to take any risks. Yes you can get a feel for a person on social media but it's not the same in real life. If we get along and there is chemistry then a play meet will soon be arranged.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If you don't want social only meets, don't do them.

I won't go to a social meet if someone adds "and maybe more" because it makes me feel pressurised. I do understand that other people will be different though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you don't want social only meets, don't do them.

I won't go to a social meet if someone adds "and maybe more" because it makes me feel pressurised. I do understand that other people will be different though."

I'm very brutal about this. I tell them it's social only. If they say 'and maybe more' I confirm it's social only. If they hint again I just don't meet them because I'm not what they are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We prefer a social first, that way no pressure on either side. But there are people who think as your in fab you must want to fuk, no matter what you look like, age or any connection.

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

We're one of the odd couples that prefer to meet with the possibility of play straight off. Char has long term post-chemo fatigue issues so we really can plan no more than one Fan thing each week, and a social takes it out of her just as much as a play date, so we'd find we "lost" half of our opportunities if we insisted on social-only meets

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We prefer a social first, that way no pressure on either side. But there are people who think as your in fab you must want to fuk, no matter what you look like, age or any connection. "

That's still ok though. They just need to find similar people.

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By *ee And MikeCouple over a year ago

Cannock

As a couple that enjoys the cuckold lifestyle we’d certainly meet any potential new bull a few times on socials before any decision was made to go any further.

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We insist on a no play social first as I don’t like to feel pressured. Nothing worse than not feeling it but feeling like you are being pushed into something you don’t want. We like time to go home and discuss how it went and whether we feel it would be fun and relaxed to get naked with them.

Lily

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We're one of the odd couples that prefer to meet with the possibility of play straight off. Char has long term post-chemo fatigue issues so we really can plan no more than one Fan thing each week, and a social takes it out of her just as much as a play date, so we'd find we "lost" half of our opportunities if we insisted on social-only meets

I don't think you're odd, you just do things differently to us.

There's room for everyone

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If you don't want social only meets, don't do them.

I won't go to a social meet if someone adds "and maybe more" because it makes me feel pressurised. I do understand that other people will be different though.

I'm very brutal about this. I tell them it's social only. If they say 'and maybe more' I confirm it's social only. If they hint again I just don't meet them because I'm not what they are looking for. "

Yep. A guy once contacted us saying he was more interested in developing a friendship and any meets would be strictly social. He invited us to his place for a drink, we agreed then a couple of days before he messaged saying how much he was looking forward to it and trying out all the bdsm equipment he'd ordered

. We didn't go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you don't want social only meets, don't do them.

I won't go to a social meet if someone adds "and maybe more" because it makes me feel pressurised. I do understand that other people will be different though.

I'm very brutal about this. I tell them it's social only. If they say 'and maybe more' I confirm it's social only. If they hint again I just don't meet them because I'm not what they are looking for.

. We didn't go

Timewaster

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By *olymalelincsMan over a year ago

southend

I don't see the problem with a social being just that or things developing into friendship from it , there is nothing wrong with gaining new friends surely?

As I see it the sex is always better with someone you know than someone you have only just met for the first time, where is the trust and knowledge of what they like without getting to know someone first? Or are people really that selfish that they are only thinking about themselves and what they want nowadays?

I would happily meet someone multiple times for a purely social meet before playing with them but that's just me, I like to know what my partners find sexy and erotic it saves awkward moments of "nope I don't like that" or "what the fuck do you think your doing"

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple over a year ago

Darlington

We don't go into any meet with an intention to play so it's always a "social and see what happens" situation.

That's not to say we wont play, it's just that we cant make a decision based purely on a few messages and a few picture's. We have to have some sort of personality connection as well as a physical attraction.

So we've had some socials where nothing happened, some where a 2nd date was arranged and some where we all ran off and played that first night.

Works for us.

We're absolutely not averse to socials just for the sake of them either. Made some good friends on here that way.

Then again, we're more into searching for that select few for repeat play rather than meeting different people all the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thoughts on Socials.

It's mostly about safety for me as a single woman

Plus I can't tell from a photo if we're going to get on

Also...

Some people lie! Shocker I know

So many six foot men have arrived at just over five foot, not sure how they think I won't notice

Missy x

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By *luttyLaylaWoman over a year ago

North West

"Thoughts on Socials.

Agreed.

I don’t do socials at all.

Ensure everyone is genuine through video calls and the like and then meet with the intention to play.

I have friends in the “real” world. I don’t wanna sit in the pub with a randomer off fab who i don’t plan on seeing again.

The whole “safety” thing is really silly in my opinion. Anyone can behave and not be a murderer in their local pub and still murder you behind closed doors next time! Lol.

Saying that, I’ve met great friends who I socialise with at clubs- but i only attend the club with the intention to play. They are just an added bonus xx

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"If you don't want social only meets, don't do them.

I won't go to a social meet if someone adds "and maybe more" because it makes me feel pressurised. I do understand that other people will be different though.

I'm very brutal about this. I tell them it's social only. If they say 'and maybe more' I confirm it's social only. If they hint again I just don't meet them because I'm not what they are looking for.

. We didn't go

Timewaster

. I know right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi guys who is playing tonight x

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By *oveAndBangCouple over a year ago

where the mood takes us

To be fair with You we wouldn't socially meet if there was no intention of sexual activities. For us social meet is just to confirm that there's mutual attraction.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Social I think for single ladies in a open space is a must it's different for couples as you have each other to look after but for us singles its a very different scene

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd prefer to meet couples in a no-sex-social before a play meet just to get a feel for the dynamic, but for one on one I'm less bothered.

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By *ig Chris75Man over a year ago

Sandbach

I pretty much always insist upon a social. It's much easier for all parties to say "no thanks" from back in the car behind the central locking - or several miles away...!

People can be very different when you meet them to what they appear in type - for good or bad..! - both to look at or in personality.

Socials are a must - and an actually social for a coffee. It can help to whet the appetite for other things another time....

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By *ucelleCouple over a year ago

Bishops Stortford

We like to meet for a drink. And often play the same day/night. It’s good to know if there’s a spark. Plus if they are not who they say they are do you want them at your house.

Looking forward to a rush of socials

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By *inger_SnapWoman over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Social I think for single ladies in a open space is a must it's different for couples as you have each other to look after but for us singles its a very different scene "

Definitely this.

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By *ots of fun 123Woman over a year ago

Leicester

We agree with the op. Socials just to make new friends seems a little pointless to us. We both have plenty of friends if we want a platonic relationship.

We use socials as a way of deciding if we would like to play. A neutral venue means there is no expectation unless all parties wish to take it further.

If there is a spark, we are happy to move to a different venue and play, or arrange a future play date.

If not we leave politely and make our own entertainment.

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By *ee And MikeCouple over a year ago

Cannock

"Thoughts on Socials.

It's mostly about safety for me as a single woman

Plus I can't tell from a photo if we're going to get on

Also...

Some people lie! Shocker I know

So many six foot men have arrived at just over five foot, not sure how they think I won't notice

Missy x"

We had a social a while with a guy from another site, his picture was of a 40 year guy who looked fairly fit on his photo with a decent head of hair. What actually turned up was a guy who must have been 70 if a day, bald and not sure if he had his own teeth !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do like the idea of having a social first just to see if we get on and if there is sexual connection (f)

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

I love a social ...I want to be attracted and feel attractive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a social is a good way of checking each other out in the flesh, for a couple meet as well as single! No pressure to move on to anything but if it’s all good it’s quite horny sitting there having normal convo imagining the fun you will be having when you see them again!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thoughts on Socials.

It's mostly about safety for me as a single woman

Plus I can't tell from a photo if we're going to get on

Also...

Some people lie! Shocker I know

So many six foot men have arrived at just over five foot, not sure how they think I won't notice

Missy x

That’s hilarious!! I don’t get the audacity on some people! As if your going to say fuck it they here now

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"Thoughts on Socials.

we have had a social first then a play on second meeting before, we have also had a play or two on the first meets, guess it depends on how the social goes as to wether it progresses to sex or just friendship with us, while we do prefer NSA fun, we also like to know a little something about who we might be getting up close and personal with later.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"I always insist on a social first. Otherwise people expect you to play and can become offended if you don’t want to.

How can you tell whether you want to play from a few photos and a brief bio?!"

Absolutely! Things like bad breath and other nasties can't be detected on a profile, neither can good hosting skills. Making a cracking cuppa can really break the ice, along with cake.

Did someone mention cake?

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By *izandpaulCouple over a year ago

merseyside

We always meet for a drink and chat initially.

It takes the pressure off.

No chemistry, had a couple of drinks and a pleasant evening. No embarrassing back pedalling.

A great chemistry, then can't wait to meet up for a fun evening or all meet at a club.

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By *unnyandDi68 OP Couple over a year ago

LEIGH

Obviously for singles, especially women it is much safer to have a social in a neutral place.

But for couples, cams and phones allow us the ability to get to know people. A social in a neutral place then seems completely pointless. Fab couples (or 2 singles) who cannot accomodate need to meet somewhere but real couples who need a neutral social after chats cams and phone calls?

It is not a case of desperation for sex but why are you on this site if you want to keep avoiding sex?

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Thoughts on Socials.

It's mostly about safety for me as a single woman

Plus I can't tell from a photo if we're going to get on

Also...

Some people lie! Shocker I know

So many six foot men have arrived at just over five foot, not sure how they think I won't notice

Missy x

I was invited to a woman’s flat, for “a coffee”. 51 on her profile, reasonable pics, and well verified, I accepted. The woman who opened the door to me I almost asked if her daughter was in (I kid you not!) She invited me in, which I accepted to be civil, and had a brew. At one point she told me “the bedroom is just through there, if you’d like to?”, and it was obvious to me then, that other men would probably have taken her up on the offer, as they ‘were there’

I left as quickly but politely as I could, and found out later from a friend, she was 65.......

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By *sm265Woman over a year ago

Shangri-la

Always a social first for me, unless in a club or party situation.

When on here previously as a couple we still always had a social first, chemistry (or lack of it) can be very different in person than via cam or phonecall, we would meet for a drink or coffee, have a good chat etc, then once home we would discuss our thoughts and decide whether things should proceed any further.

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