FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Read messages
Read messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else find it frustrating that a read message goes unanswered?
Appreciate that the ladies on the site get absolutely bombarded with messages but wouldnt it be easier to delete and maybe block the member if you're not interested, avoids repeat chasing messages and gives a clear message back to the sender that you're not interested.
If you are interested then a quick wink, friend request or just a quick message back?
What do you guys think? |
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Maybe something came up and they can't reply just at that second, maybe if it's a couple they want to talk together about their response but are not together at that time. It could just mean they ain't interested so don't sweat it and if you don't get a message back after a couple of days move on, site rules say no response = not interested buddy. |
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No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s hard when receiving a lot of messages but very frustrating when guys hassle for a response. That’s the best way to ensure no response "
This if you’ve not had a response don’t hassle for one it’s a total put off and won’t get the desired response you want. |
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Generally if I have a message show as read I will just leave it in the sent items for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't get a reply or deleted so be it, I have had replies from people a week of so later so never dismiss a message if you don't get an instant reply, people do have lives outside of fab and may not get to your message for a while. |
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"Maybe something came up and they can't reply just at that second, maybe if it's a couple they want to talk together about their response but are not together at that time. It could just mean they ain't interested so don't sweat it and if you don't get a message back after a couple of days move on, site rules say no response = not interested buddy." We get a lot of messages on here, a lot of guys just chancing their luck, sending things like “what’s her titz like” those kind of ones aren’t going to get a response from us!
Totally agree with your reply, sometimes people need to talk things through or build up the courage to answer back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Currently have more than 70 unread. We try to keep up with the new ones coming in especially if there’s some back and forth already going on. If the top of the message starts with “How’s you?” or “You ok?” then it’s not going to be read. Best thing if you’re genuine and there’s been no reply might be to leave it a while and message again in the future, as in not next week. Sad fact is the keen and genuine men are competing with a lot of thoughtless people that make no effort. We just received a message that said “Hi” but the profile was unavailable, hence all the other unread messages next to that one may not be read now. The flip side of the bad feeling of having sent messages left unread is that the receivers may not be having the best experience either! |
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"The only time we don’t reply is if it’s clear they haven’t read our profile!"
Same here. Our profile even states we won't respond to winks, one-liners, friends invitations so we don't feel at all guilty by just ignoring and blocking those people who contact us having not bothered to read it. |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
If we send a message and there is no response we take it the recipient we sent it to is simply not interested. No problem for us. We simply move on. I don't see why single guys have a problem accepting this x
Mrs N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't try to second guess their actions.
Send your message and move on.
If a reply arrives, brilliant.
Trying to work out their actions won't aid you.
We sometimes leave it sitting there in other for the other to see before we act on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often read messages and reply later? If in that time you choose to take umbrage and block me for not instantly replying then that will say more about you than me ...
The easiest thing to do is delete your 'sent' box then you wouldn't be able to worry/overthink it and have a more chilled approach to being on here ... |
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Messages can build up and mainly finding the combination of enthusiasm and will power and of course time to read or reply to them and most just get deleted and in some cases the sender blocked and must be daunting for all the genuine single males on here as you are as out numbered as us couples by the desperate or the ones toiling under the illusion that this is a "Sex Site" or even a "Quick Hook up site " and a careful reading of most forum posts would yield some interesting information or even insights to what people actually want especially regarding couples and single females |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many men are sending out blanket indiscriminate messages. We often receive the same message from the same person over and over. We very rarely send a message to anyone new and try to be as thoughtful and considerate in our approach as possible. Sometimes there’s no reply. So what... |
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If we get the same message we just block them now but we do get some truly great messages so that does make it all worthwhile and always makes us chuckle though ..the ones who pretend to be something they aren't and when you reply you can't meet ...the sound of silence !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i often quickly scan read a bulk of messages and just save ones that i will look at in more detail later and reply ...
sometimes its just hard to even see the message as it gets lost .. I had some pics hit number 1/2 recently on here and over 3 days I have had over 1300 messages ..... as a non paid supporter i cant scroll the page of messages either to filter down..
Now i am just a dick girl/TS so I dread to think the sheer number of mails women can receive ...
generally though 95% of the messages i get are just pointless or tripe and not worth a reply ...
Also you get creeper types that just blow up your mailbox. i had one guy last week send me 33 messages in 3 days then leave me fake veris which i had to get removed .
Here is a tip for you OP , once you send a message delete the sent mail so it doesnt bug you ..then if you get a reply later its a bonus .. |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)"
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
I don’t do this but i guess maybe there going to come back to you but unable to respond at that time?
Some people like to have a lot of unread mails in there inbox to feel like there popular, who knows!
Am a straight up delete girl myself.. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
We can sometimes do this.
Our reason ..........
Because there's two of us, not not forget 24/7, so One may read and leave it there for the other to take a look |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
Because if I leave a message on read without replying I get abuse
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
Rather than save a message, if one of us reads and the other hasn’t we’ll mark it back as unread, might also leave it as unread if we think we might reply but don’t have the time. |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please?
Rather than save a message, if one of us reads and the other hasn’t we’ll mark it back as unread, might also leave it as unread if we think we might reply but don’t have the time. "
Yep, I get that with a couple, that's fair enough |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please?
Because if I leave a message on read without replying I get abuse
"
I see, interesting! Thank you for the insight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just presume that none of my messages will get a reply, so I never look in sent messages.
So on the rare occasions I get a reply, it's a nice surprise. |
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By *olo_89Couple
over a year ago
Kettering |
The sheer volume of messages that get sent around to couple and assuming more so to single ladies, there is not always time to respond to everyone and no response is a general not interested just move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no reply = not interested, stop looking at your sent box and concentrate on getting something in your inbox, only messages i’ve sent out are replies to people who have messaged me, the site is overwhelmed by guys so i’ve decided to be one of those guys that if women or couples want, they’ll message first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You answered your own question bro no reply means not interested, follow up messages just make you appear desperate so wouldnt bother.
This"
Absolutely. I'm sat now with one of my single female friends she's gets 100s of messages a day and simply cannot respond to them all. Personally if I send a message and it gets deleted straight away I use the notes facility and put a note next to their profile saying deleted or not interested and leave them be. I may on the odd occasion send another message a few weeks or months down the line just in case it was a bulk delete. It's not often I message people these days. Only with people I chat to regular that I already know. I have my hands pretty full at the moment |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
I do this if I need to think about an answer, don't have time, an tired. Usually go back to it and reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the Mrs of staffs123 we got a lot messages, lost count of the nice tits, would like to get my hands on them and lots of just a few words. Anything under 3 sentence don't get a reply. I take it a lot don't even read profiles and our status! Hubby loves doing the statuses. |
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"I've started blocking all women couples that come across as up there own arse safes a lot of hassle. Got nice long block list now
You mean the ones who say NO to you? "
The ones up there own arse. I wouldn't know if they didn't reply jeeeez some people. Welcome to the block list |
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"I've started blocking all women couples that come across as up there own arse safes a lot of hassle. Got nice long block list now
You mean the ones who say NO to you?
The ones up there own arse. I wouldn't know if they didn't reply jeeeez some people. Welcome to the block list"
So people who don’t reply are up there own arses!!! Pmsfl add me to ya blocked list then!!
What is this place coming too!! |
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"No answer *is* the answer.
(What I personally find dispiriting is when the carefully composed message I spent ages tailoring to the recipient's profile goes unread for so long that it just disappears. That frustrates me because it's _not_ an answer.)
The practice of reading a message, then marking it 'unread' bewilders me. Can anyone shed some light on this please? "
Hang on.
My understanding is that on most platforms, like Facebook, reading a message and then re-marking it as unread only makes it "unread" again for *you* – the sender can still see that you've read it.
Is Fab different? Does changing the read-status affect things at the sender's end as well on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Experience has told us, the best way is to reply no thanks, delete the message then block the sender, not always personal but gets tedious having the same people message every week or 2 weeks with the same line, which is usually followed by abuse |
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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago
South Fife |
No one owes you a reply....I used to let it bother me but not now. It b is what it is. If they haven't deleted the message a week later I might wink just in case I slipped their mind.... But if no reply to that.... Block so I don't accidentally get in touch again and delete the message.... Move on.... Brutal but the only way. |
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"I've started blocking all women couples that come across as up there own arse safes a lot of hassle. Got nice long block list now
You mean the ones who say NO to you?
The ones up there own arse. I wouldn't know if they didn't reply jeeeez some people. Welcome to the block list
So people who don’t reply are up there own arses!!! Pmsfl add me to ya blocked list then!!
What is this place coming too!!"
They reply but come across as up there own arse. How would I know if they didn't reply jeezz another one for block list |
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It's positive and outcome focused to deal with the prospects that you have, rather than what may be, or conditionally be, if only other people behaved the way we'd like them to.
Focus on other people to communicate with. Deal with the replies you get in the way that suits you.
A fab meet isn't a priority over health, family, your partner, employment, getting over the devastation of the virus etc.
Don't look at the sent messages, just the received ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It used to get on my nerves. But now I just take it as no thanks. I do really appreciate a message back though when I'm told I'm not their type. But the unanswered messages I just forget about now. Don't know about other single blokes but I get a lot more knock backs than successes. Just the way it isp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't really bother me. I'm sure ladies get bombarded with messages. Without sounding arrogant which I'm not... What genuinely confuses me is when ladies have had meets with guys that are clearly not as good looking.. well endowed or in good physical shape as me. Gets me thinking are my opening messages not on point even though I genuinely take an interest in profiles. Just seems an opening statement is what is important here.. #confused |
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