FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Straight guys into transwomen..?

Straight guys into transwomen..?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi all, so this post might be more for the other transwomen on here, but would welcome other peoples thoughts.

So now that meets are allowed, I’ve been getting a lot of messages from guys who say they’re exclusively straight, not even bi curious....and one had a headline “totally straight, don’t even try!”. A lot also fab my photos so they’re obviously saving them for later.

Now, I’m not too sure how to take this, is it either because I pass well enough that they would be happy to meet for a social first and then potentially some fun, and treat me like any other woman on here, or are they just very internalised with their Fab bi-ness and looking to experiment?

I have asked a few who have messaged me the same question above but never got a coherent response!

Would be great to hear some other girls thoughts as it’s holding me back off planning meets as I’m reluctant to meet someone who isn’t comfortable with themselves and may have the classic freak out when they meet a transwoman....we all know a horror story about those sort of experiences!!

Thanks all x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of guys on here say they are straight on their profile as they don't want to risk loosing out on meets with straight women and couples. A lot won't admit to being curious or fully bi for some reason, perhaps self denial. Others are perhaps just so eager for sex that they think any port in a storm will do. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, this is just what I have experienced and from talking with other TV/TSs they have experienced much the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

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By *illie99TV/TS over a year ago

Central Scotland

"A lot of guys on here say they are straight on their profile as they don't want to risk loosing out on meets with straight women and couples. A lot won't admit to being curious or fully bi for some reason, perhaps self denial. Others are perhaps just so eager for sex that they think any port in a storm will do. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, this is just what I have experienced and from talking with other TV/TSs they have experienced much the same. "

I think that is pretty much spot on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

experienced much the same. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

You say that you are trying to be politically correct but I think you may have missed the mark on that one I’m afraid.

Is it not a tad judgmental for you to determine someone else’s sexuality and say they are not “genuinely straight” because they are able to see someone for who they are now rather than who they may have been in the past?

You say live and let live and that works both ways, I get you may not see as straight for a man to meet a transwoman and of course that’s your right to think so but I’d ask you to try not to judge straight men who do think it’s a natural thing to accept a person as they.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/21 12:23:55]

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

my "take" on it is that some people just don't like labels as they can be so limiting.

Each to their own in my opinion.

If it works, go with the flow??? x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agree go with the flow whatever pops up will pop up whatever sticks out will stick out whatever opens up will open

enjoy don’t have preconceived ideas and enjoy the moment Or moments hopefully

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my "take" on it is that some people just don't like labels as they can be so limiting.

Each to their own in my opinion.

If it works, go with the flow??? x"

I think this is fairly accurate. I belive the days of seeing sexuality as being something you are tied to are long gone.

For me physical, sexual and emotional attraction are much more person specific.

As someone who is absolutely comfortable with what and who I am attracted to it poses no problems.

Previously caller hit the nail on the head though. Many would be happy sticking it anywhere and adopt the trawling method.

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

Yes, we think the poster hit the nail on the head. However, some may not understand the term "transsexual" or be able to differentiate between pre-op and post-op transsexual person. Especially that this category is so broad on Fab- you've got people who like to wear other gender's clothes for sexual thrills on one hand, all the way to post-op transsexuals who live permanently as a person of a different gender than they were born as, and have all the physical attributes of the gender they are now living as.

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By *AYENCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Wow a lot of replies - thanks all!

Yep this is every transwomans fear....utterly horrible and terrifying once the deed has been done shall we say.

Some guys on here do treat us like women, but sadly some are just arses....but then again that happens to everyone I suppose!

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS over a year ago

Leeds

"my "take" on it is that some people just don't like labels as they can be so limiting.

Each to their own in my opinion.

If it works, go with the flow??? x"

Most definitely this

And remember Op, they already know you are transgender so there should be no surprises involved?

And my take on the attraction to transgender individuals, for what it's worth and lifted straight from Wiki because it saves time typing it out in full:-

"Sexual attraction to transgender people has been the subject of scientific study and social commentary. Psychologists have researched sexual attraction toward transwomen (edit)...Cisgender men attracted to transgender women primarily identify as heterosexual and sometimes as bisexual, but rarely as homosexual. Sexual arousal research has confirmed that their response patterns are unlike those of gay men and resemble those of heterosexual men, except that they are highly aroused by transgender women in addition to cisgender women. They show little arousal to men".

Too many labels really for my liking but if you are trying to determine what makes men who label themselves as "straight" attracted to you, the above may provide food for thought?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my "take" on it is that some people just don't like labels as they can be so limiting.

Each to their own in my opinion.

If it works, go with the flow??? x

Most definitely this

And remember Op, they already know you are transgender so there should be no surprises involved?

And my take on the attraction to transgender individuals, for what it's worth and lifted straight from Wiki because it saves time typing it out in full:-

Too many labels really for my liking but if you are trying to determine what makes men who label themselves as "straight" attracted to you, the above may provide food for thought?

This is very interesting. Ultimately

, as you say, all these labels being banded around isn't always helpful.

Then again if it helps people identify and reason with feelings who am I to question.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I think you should make sure you chat a lot to them so you can rule out the arses and focus on the men who see you and like for who you are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

This is unfortunately a big cause of many trans deaths in USA .. when i lived in london i met some guys that were like this and flipped out after cumming,, one guy got really bent out of shape and physical which resulted in me breaking his jaw .. he had a bad day that day all round it seemed lol

I would avoid any person female or male that blags on about it being first time, yadda yadda and not sure, super straight usually etc they are just bellends and not worth the ballache to worry about with ... if you start having to knock out some tool after its kinda mood dampening .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Would definitely agree with this about people taking their first steps. Phrases like exploring my sexuality, want to experiment, always wanted be with, stuff like this is always a big warning sign for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi all, so this post might be more for the other transwomen on here, but would welcome other peoples thoughts.

I have asked a few who have messaged me the same question above but never got a coherent response!

Thanks all x

It's because 90% of men say they are straight, in the hope of playing with a female / couple.

Where in reality they are bi.

If they want to penetrate a males are they are bi

If they want to suck your cock they are bi.

If they just want oral sex from you then they are bi

Because they are having sex with the same sex.

I realised I was bi when I found myself sucking a cock and enjoying it.

Stunning pics btw

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They like glamour and beauty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"They like glamour and beauty "

They think that they walk around all day in heels and stockings.

Unlike their wife's.

It's a true fantasy.

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By *luttTV/TS over a year ago

Duns

I think that there are two categories here:

Men who are genuinely straight-but-trans-interested/accepting, and men who are secretly bi.

There are certainly a few guys on Fab who would seem to openly fit the first category, as they list themselves as straight AND looking for TV/TS in addition to women. I would suggest that imply they’re not straight is rather disrespectful both of them and of transwomen, as saying they’re not straight means that you’re saying that transwomen aren’t really women.

The majority though I suspect fall into the second category. I don’t know if there’s a line as such - certainly the “less-female” the TV/TS is the more bi the guy is being, after all I’m really a guy in a wig. But ultimately if a man is really only interested in me if I’m presenting as female then that’s still more straight than it is anything else, and I’m not going to argue with anyone’s identification of their own orientation.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"They like glamour and beauty

They think that they walk around all day in heels and stockings.

Unlike their wife's.

It's a true fantasy."

This lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

This is terrible you had to go through this. It's not all guys that are like this. Since I joined fab I've felt more comfortable and able to be open with myself and my thoughts. I've always said I'm straight but honestly I've just looked at your profile and I can't call myself straight. I'm clearly attracted to you. I love this safe space where we can all be ourselves. I'm actually going to change my profile. I'd love to hear from you privately and have a conversation if you would xxx

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By *luttTV/TS over a year ago

Duns

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Can you not call yourself straight? If you’re not attracted to men, then you probably are...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's very true. I do apologise if I say anything wrong. This is very new to me. X

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By *harisajidanWoman over a year ago

london

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Can you not call yourself straight? If you’re not attracted to men, then you probably are..."

I thought you just said you wouldn’t be arguing or debating anyone’s sexual orientation or identification lol...

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By *luttTV/TS over a year ago

Duns

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Can you not call yourself straight? If you’re not attracted to men, then you probably are...

I thought you just said you wouldn’t be arguing or debating anyone’s sexual orientation or identification lol..."

More a suggestion, but I get your point!

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By *aulaxd2020TV/TS over a year ago

dudley

"Hi all, so this post might be more for the other transwomen on here, but would welcome other peoples thoughts.

I have asked a few who have messaged me the same question above but never got a coherent response!

Thanks all x

I get loads messaging saying I’m straight but....... and also asking if I’m versatile which I translate as “ they want to be shagged up the arse” I say if your straight why are you messaging a bloke in a dress ? This questions their sexuality and don’t always end well with a load of abuse and I often end up being blocked .... I ask myself the question do I really want to be meeting these people?. The trans spectrum is very broad ranging from the hairy panty wearers right through to post op trans women I consider myself somewhere in the middle, I’m sure the admirers range is very broad too with those who genuinely admire us and respect us , those who see us as any hole is a goal and those who want a dabble “with the other side “

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

You say that you are trying to be politically correct but I think you may have missed the mark on that one I’m afraid.

Thank you, this is so true. Sick and tired of these and from my experience, It indirectly says that you (as in the guy that mentioned that a straight guy will never sleep with a trans woman) invalidate me as a woman. I am still pre op, but once I’ve gone post op, I’ve completed my journey. But still you would get some who will say. But in reality, you will never be a woman.

Hence those stupid people on Tik Tok saying they are super straight.

You can have your preference, but if you don’t know me and saw me out and u had no idea I was trans, the guys that get attracted are straigut men. Because they like women and trans women are women. Period

Then if a guy then finds out and gets turned off by the idea of what I was born, then that’s on them and their problem and another story altogether. I’m over this topic.

Please people, stop invalidating women like us by saying shit like that and also making men feel guilty, cos if there’s stigma it’s because of all of the people who point and say “u can’t be straight if u do this” and the whole cycle of transphobia or “I only do this in private” because I can’t have my mates know begins ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think there’s a tendency to overthink things - whatever your sex, gender or orientation. I’d say go with the flow, do what feels right instinctively. If it feels wrong then it probably is. Most of all, enjoy! xx

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By *ikemilfloverMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Hi all, so this post might be more for the other transwomen on here, but would welcome other peoples thoughts.

I have asked a few who have messaged me the same question above but never got a coherent response!

Thanks all x

I hate labels yet so many on here seem to want to be known by them.

I love both women and TV/TS’s, nice to stand at the bar with your hand of a ladies bum and guys jaws dropping because they are jealous !

Don’t be put off meeting, just pick your meets wisely and enjoy yourself !

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By *harisajidanWoman over a year ago

london

"We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

You say that you are trying to be politically correct but I think you may have missed the mark on that one I’m afraid.

Hence those stupid people on Tik Tok saying they are super straight.

Then if a guy then finds out and gets turned off by the idea of what I was born, then that’s on them and their problem and another story altogether. I’m over this topic.

The real question is what’s the obsession with being seen as straight? Is not being straight a bad thing?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

You say that you are trying to be politically correct but I think you may have missed the mark on that one I’m afraid.

Hence those stupid people on Tik Tok saying they are super straight.

Then if a guy then finds out and gets turned off by the idea of what I was born, then that’s on them and their problem and another story altogether. I’m over this topic.

The real question is what’s the obsession with being seen as straight? Is not being straight a bad thing? "

You speak sense x

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By *harisajidanWoman over a year ago

london

"We am all for live and let live, but trying to stay politically correct I think that you need to understand that any genuinely "Straight" Guy is not going to be meeting a Transexual.

He will be meeting someone who used to be a bloke and that is not a natural thing to do in a sexual way for a straight man!

You say that you are trying to be politically correct but I think you may have missed the mark on that one I’m afraid.

Hence those stupid people on Tik Tok saying they are super straight.

Then if a guy then finds out and gets turned off by the idea of what I was born, then that’s on them and their problem and another story altogether. I’m over this topic.

The real question is what’s the obsession with being seen as straight? Is not being straight a bad thing?

You speak sense x"

I try!

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By *traightrimmerMan over a year ago

glasgow

I love wanking on kik for sexy trans when my wife is out x pm if you want to play on kik xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This last post sums it up ,l read somewhere a survey where 65% of men secretly fancy trans ,but in the pub with their mates would never admit it ,the ral guys are those who just chat snd accept who we are , takes nerves to date a trans for the first time ,yet guys missing out if all they do is think of us like the last op

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And this!!!

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By *amantha TSWoman over a year ago

Swindon

The real issue here is the traditional categories Fab squeezes us into. Straight, bi-curious, bi or gay. Things are being accepted as being a bit more flexible these days, even if we had an "unsure" or "other" category it would be an improvement.

I had to change from bi-curious to straight as too many guys were getting the wrong idea. If I find the other person attractive I'm not really fussed what genitalia they've got, hence why gynosexual seems to fit better for me. But try and slot that neatly into 4 options on here. Nope!

But yes, the amount of straight guys who Fab and contact what is essentially a guy in a wig (ie me) is scary!

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By *ayTTV/TS over a year ago

Porthmadog

"The real issue here is the traditional categories Fab squeezes us into. Straight, bi-curious, bi or gay. Things are being accepted as being a bit more flexible these days, even if we had an "unsure" or "other" category it would be an improvement.

But yes, the amount of straight guys who Fab and contact what is essentially a guy in a wig (ie me) is scary!"

Perhaps you hit on the right word earlier on in your considered post, flexible would be a good addition to the list of possible preferences

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By *inkywife1981Couple over a year ago

A town near you

Forgive my ignorance but if a "straight guy" is looking to hook up with a TV or TS is he assuming this is post gender realignment.

Other wise some one is taking it up the bum?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all, so this post might be more for the other transwomen on here, but would welcome other peoples thoughts.

I have asked a few who have messaged me the same question above but never got a coherent response!

Thanks all x

Not that iv met on here yet but I tend to be quite frank about how I look ect on here, no filters ect, showing my bad pics, that sort of thing.

Generally speaking I'd meet someone that just says straight in there profile but not if they made a point about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Forgive my ignorance but if a "straight guy" is looking to hook up with a TV or TS is he assuming this is post gender realignment.

Other wise some one is taking it up the bum?"

I think 'straight guys' are just attracted to femininity, even if someone ends up taking it up the bum lol

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Forgive my ignorance but if a "straight guy" is looking to hook up with a TV or TS is he assuming this is post gender realignment.

Other wise some one is taking it up the bum?"

Not everyone is into that

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By *amantha TSWoman over a year ago

Swindon

"Forgive my ignorance but if a "straight guy" is looking to hook up with a TV or TS is he assuming this is post gender realignment.

Other wise some one is taking it up the bum?

Not everyone is into that"

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Forgive my ignorance but if a "straight guy" is looking to hook up with a TV or TS is he assuming this is post gender realignment.

Other wise some one is taking it up the bum?

Not everyone is into that

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd estimate about half the guys who contact me don't list TV/TS as an interest and most say 'no single men'. It all depends how good a job you do, I suppose.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

When you look like a beautiful woman don't be surprised that men are attracted to you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you look like a beautiful woman don't be surprised that men are attracted to you.

Exactly, it pretty much boils down do this

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By *werty1999Man over a year ago

greater Manchester

"I would be very careful with those particular 'straight' guys - after the event they might be racked with guilt and hate, and look to 'blame' someone else for their gayness.

Not to be messed with??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get along with quite a few from the ts/tv community. My only verification is of a transvestite who works at fab who I chatted to there. I have gay neighbours who I get on with, but see myself as straight, never had a same sex experienced. I am going to follow your discussion with the argument of someone has started the transition process and is defines as female. Potentially I would love to meet a trans woman. I am not interested in the penis. What attracts me to a trans woman is the femininity. Something some women have lost. I am looking for beauty, how they would carry themselves and how they speak. But only someone who has started the transition. In addition to this, I would be happy to meet in a social environment and hopefully we would have shared interests, maybe gaming, running or weight lifting, geeky stuff such as sci fi or fantasy. But that’s just my take. I describe myself as straight because I haven’t done anything to change that label. I don’t live in a straight bubble, sexually is progressive, but for now my classing myself as straight is accurate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had limited experience with trans girls, and treat them as I would any other woman. If they identify as female, and look the part then thats what they are to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a big guy and I won't lie some trans woman are very appealing.

It's all about respect. Treat people, no matter what there sexual orientation is with the respect you expect to be treated with.

Trans people are equally beautiful human beings like us all. In this life you be who you want to be, not who your expected to be.

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By *damgtMan over a year ago

travelling

Definitely agree that Fab should drop the ‘straight/etc.’ distinction and just help people communicate about their preferences. After all, most of us are here to meet sexy people, or at least meet them online? I’m here to interact with hot trans people. I don’t need a place to declare my identity.

Loved this quote, too. It’s bang on, for me:

“ Cisgender men attracted to transgender women primarily identify as heterosexual and sometimes as bisexual, but rarely as homosexual. Sexual arousal research has confirmed that their response patterns are unlike those of gay men and resemble those of heterosexual men, except that they are highly aroused by transgender women in addition to cisgender women. They show little arousal to men".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trans women are women, there's nothing not straight about it.

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By *teve404Man over a year ago

East Yorkshire coast

In fairness the only reason I've put straight on my profile is because that's what I would class myself as but I suppose I could be in denial as I've been with a few transgender people and a few guys . But because I'm exploring and trying things. I guess I could put it as bi curious

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Definitely agree that Fab should drop the ‘straight/etc.’ distinction and just help people communicate about their preferences. After all, most of us are here to meet sexy people, or at least meet them online? I’m here to interact with hot trans people. I don’t need a place to declare my identity.

Loved this quote, too. It’s bang on, for me:

Well but of course, trans women to a very good degree tend to pass and live their lives as women (regardless whether they had or not bottom surgery)

I’ve got a few gay friends and not one would bang me or feel aroused about me… Because guess what, I look/talk/act like a woman (and identity as one obvs)

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