FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > This is hard, isn't it?
This is hard, isn't it?
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Whilst the single guy route is known to be a hard slog, so many couples and women will also readily agree it's really bollocking hard too, right?
As a couple keen to find long term connections with other couples for "fun and friendship" we're really surprised how hard it has been to get to that point.
Admitting it's not going that well feels like an admission that you're actually ugly / annoying buggers etc... So I think there's a significant inclination to pretend things are going better than they are over the years.
Insert covid disclaimer of course, but it seems other couples are increasingly willing to acknowledge this too so thought it'd be good to break cover and just acknowledge that whether you would want to come anywhere near us or not... This is hard, isn't it? |
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"Just checked out your profile and I dont see nothing wrong and your veris tells me your not struggling as much as you say lol
Am sure you will be fine once everyones given the green light
"
Erm, thanks for the approval. |
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Yes it is extremely hard. We know we're probably not many people's cup of tea but we didn't think it would be this difficult to find even one couple that got along with us and vice versa.
I often see people write about their circle of swinging friends and think "it must be us".
Like you this is an acknowledgement not a woe is me, nobody wants to play with us moan.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just checked out your profile and I dont see nothing wrong and your veris tells me your not struggling as much as you say lol
Am sure you will be fine once everyones given the green light
"
Agreed!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when me n hubs started swinging 25++ years ago we found it easy to find other couples and even finding women was a easy thing (and we are very picky) but we have found in the last 10 years its got harder ..why im not sure but we no longer look for couples and women online we leave that to clubs and we use fab for meeting guys only ..
i think things will be harder after covid too i think regular will become a bigger thing couples and women will still be in hi demand if you find a match but i think guys are going to find it even harder after lockdown with many..
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"Just checked out your profile and I dont see nothing wrong and your veris tells me your not struggling as much as you say lol
Am sure you will be fine once everyones given the green light
"
I totally agree they both look great to me xx |
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Yes it can be! It is me who does a lot of the initial contact with people and it can be very frustrating at times.
Not only do you need to find a couple where there is mutual attraction for all parties who are going to be involved with each other but you also need to find a couple who want to play in a similar way too. We prefer to get to know people a bit first and meet socially but we understand that isn't for everyone. On top of that arranging times to meet is a chore in itself as most people have work, kids, normal lives to live as well. Oh and then there is the fact that it is always the way that if u do see a couple who tick all the boxes they end up living the other side of the country!
When it does work it can be amazing
Mrs x |
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"3 sums have been easier because you both only have to agree about 1 person & 1 person has to like you back.
for 4 it gets so much more tricky.
"
I've lost track of what's been easier tbh. It was been easier to find guys pre covid vs couples. However many of them we've mostly used to adjust our standards so not sure that'll be the case in future! |
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"when me n hubs started swinging 25++ years ago we found it easy to find other couples and even finding women was a easy thing (and we are very picky) but we have found in the last 10 years its got harder ..why im not sure but we no longer look for couples and women online we leave that to clubs and we use fab for meeting guys only ..
i think things will be harder after covid too i think regular will become a bigger thing couples and women will still be in hi demand if you find a match but i think guys are going to find it even harder after lockdown with many..
"
I agree 
I think much of the change is due to the internet and the ease with which people can communicate and time wasters infiltrate.
In the old days you had to be really committed to thumb through Journal of Sex, find people who matched your interests, get out a pen & paper to write to their box number, then wait two weeks for a reply..by that point you were almost assured some fruity fun..if you lived long enough to enjoy it!  |
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Totally agree, I'm half a couple and it's so hard getting 4 way attraction and availability.
Then factor in I'm straight and it rules us out to many couples, looking for bi fems.
If we want a meet pre covid, we go to a club. We both have separate profiles now, because getting meets as a couple isn't easy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy I understand your pain and have to say I took a break for the past 6 months or so - although that was similar to the activities over the previous year
But as some professor of physics once said - Things will only get better! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single guy I understand your pain and have to say I took a break for the past 6 months or so - although that was similar to the activities over the previous year
But as some professor of physics once said - Things will only get better!"
sorry and not saying this to piss on your fire but no single guy would understand ..you dont get 100s of messages every week a single guy in the swinging world has his own problems one that couples and women dont have and thats the numbers game ie for every one woman or couple there 50 60 guys maybe more |
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"As a single guy I understand your pain and have to say I took a break for the past 6 months or so - although that was similar to the activities over the previous year
But as some professor of physics once said - Things will only get better!"
I'm not looking for a "chin up" message, I'm not after support. It's fine. It's just much harder than we expected, and I think many others who thought it'd be a doddle, and who are "accused" of being wonderful and amazing and will have thousands of messages every hour... this isn't the reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single guy I understand your pain and have to say I took a break for the past 6 months or so - although that was similar to the activities over the previous year
But as some professor of physics once said - Things will only get better!
I'm not looking for a "chin up" message, I'm not after support. It's fine. It's just much harder than we expected, and I think many others who thought it'd be a doddle, and who are "accused" of being wonderful and amazing and will have thousands of messages every hour... this isn't the reality."
Count yourself lucky to have 15 verifications
How many are you after a world record ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously I misunderstood the main message here. Sorry for having an opinion and trying to empathise, genuinely hope things improve in the way that you want them to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just checked out your profile and I dont see nothing wrong and your veris tells me your not struggling as much as you say lol
Am sure you will be fine once everyones given the green light
Erm, thanks for the approval. "
He was not giving you approval , he was just pointing out the obvious and trying to help |
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"Just checked out your profile and I dont see nothing wrong and your veris tells me your not struggling as much as you say lol
Am sure you will be fine once everyones given the green light
Erm, thanks for the approval.
He was not giving you approval , he was just pointing out the obvious and trying to help "
You seem to be ... looking for a fight? Really just trying to be supportive and hoping to let others feel able to acknowledge it too. |
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