FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Taking one for the team
Taking one for the team
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone been in a club where you've got chatting to another cpl and one of you really fancies either m/f but the other is not that into them ?
Would you play with them to please your partner ?
Ps We've been there and there was no pressure to play but afterwards C had one of the best snags she'd had ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex liked to try pressure me into this.
I did once or twice, I was very new to swinging and usually in a club and "went with the flow"
Not anymore.
I never would again. |
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Had this situation crop up when playing previously as a couple. Finding the perfect balance is difficult, but it's so much better if everyone is enjoying it absolutely equally.
If one of you is not enjoying it to the point that they are taking one for the team, then it's a recipe for disaster. |
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It’s one of our rules that neither will ‘take one for the team’.
If the connection isn’t there for all parties in a meet, then you run the risk of just going through the motions. Whilst that can be fun in itself, no great memories are made that way.
- John |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
This is why it all went to crap with an ex, he was arranging meets with people I hadn't really seen, he found the woman attractive and didn't care if I did or the male, I went with the flow a couple of times and then said no more and left him to play alone while I went to bed.
It's an all or nothing with me I won't give or won't be a pity fuck so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah he clearly didn't want to shag me so he spent the time watching his missus getting pounded and shouting encouragement at them.  "
The guy was a selfish twat. You were better off not having sex with him. He obviously was more a cuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why it all went to crap with an ex, he was arranging meets with people I hadn't really seen, he found the woman attractive and didn't care if I did or the male, I went with the flow a couple of times and then said no more and left him to play alone while I went to bed.
It's an all or nothing with me I won't give or won't be a pity fuck so to speak"
Thats the way it should be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah he clearly didn't want to shag me so he spent the time watching his missus getting pounded and shouting encouragement at them.
The guy was a selfish twat. You were better off not having sex with him. He obviously was more a cuck. "
He could have been fucking a hole in the mattress and not noticed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah he clearly didn't want to shag me so he spent the time watching his missus getting pounded and shouting encouragement at them.
The guy was a selfish twat. You were better off not having sex with him. He obviously was more a cuck.
He could have been fucking a hole in the mattress and not noticed.
"
He sounds one selfish guy. His loss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We agreed when we joined that there was no taking one for the team. Its not about body perfection as we are not body perfect. its about a connection between us all to ebsure we will all be turned on enough to play and have fun whilst doing so. |
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I'm straight, we both are, we make that clear to everyone we meet
Twice we've met couples and when it actually comes down to it all the guy wants is to watch his partner "in action" usually with another woman. Trust me there is very little that's more humiliating or depressing in a swinging situation than realising you're just there on sufferance and the guy will do anything to avoid even touching you.
I wouldn't do that to another person. |
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"Has anyone been in a club where you've got chatting to another cpl and one of you really fancies either m/f but the other is not that into them ?
Would you play with them to please your partner ?
Ps We've been there and there was no pressure to play but afterwards C had one of the best snags she'd had !"
I'd take one for my team and let a stunning woman use me for sex   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level. |
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level."
I agree it's massively disrespectful. |
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I honestly don't get why it's even a discussion. Of course I'm aware of certain situations but in general normal swinging situation why would anybody even think "well I don't find him/her attractive but my partner fancies theirs so I'll bite the bullet" . Why would you consider doing that?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level."
Control can be a funny thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I felt pressure because he was able to find something "fuckable" about almost everyone and I'm the total opposite. I found myself in a few situations I wanted to run away from.
"
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level.
Control can be a funny thing. "
How do you mean Ivy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level.
Control can be a funny thing.
How do you mean Ivy?"
When you said you dont understand why some would compromise.
Well, alot can be in abusive....or even coercive...relationships.
I have been, and also seen it before. One particular night in a club I was chatting to a couple and when the guy went to the toilet she told me she only swings because he would just leave her otherwise and they had been married a long time and she loved him and was desperate not to lose him.
I obviously then declined to give in to the guys advances after that.
It happens more than people think unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level.
Control can be a funny thing.
How do you mean Ivy?
When you said you dont understand why some would compromise.
Well, alot can be in abusive....or even coercive...relationships.
I have been, and also seen it before. One particular night in a club I was chatting to a couple and when the guy went to the toilet she told me she only swings because he would just leave her otherwise and they had been married a long time and she loved him and was desperate not to lose him.
I obviously then declined to give in to the guys advances after that.
It happens more than people think unfortunately."
Ah I see, yes unfortunately we have ended up in a situation where the one party wasnt nearly as interested as the other and it made for a thoroughly awkward encounter. Sorry to hear about your past experience and definitely something to be mindful of |
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"I honestly don't get why it's even a discussion. Of course I'm aware of certain situations but in general normal swinging situation why would anybody even think "well I don't find him/her attractive but my partner fancies theirs so I'll bite the bullet" . Why would you consider doing that?
"
When you're being told you're too picky even in a jokey way, when you're trying to "prove" you're not, to prove you're open minded and not looking for excuses not to "have fun". When other people have accused you of trying to control your partner by obstructing meets and you know you're not, but are unsure how to prove it. When your partner talks of previous encounters and partners and how great they were, how open they were, when the situation and experience was what turned them on instead of the person they were fucking. When you're questioning in your own mind if swinging is for you, but you feel your relationship may hinge on being cool with it. Some people are great at applying the thumb screws without actually applying them.
It's only when you're out of a situation and you look back with a clear head that you can see the manipulation. |
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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago
N Peterborough. |
Been there and our advice is don't take one for the team.
We did it once, Mrs was all up for meeting, I wasn't feeling it at all. It turned out to be a very awkward meet, where I got the impression they wanted my Mrs all to themselves for an mff, felt like a spare part lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I honestly don't get why it's even a discussion. Of course I'm aware of certain situations but in general normal swinging situation why would anybody even think "well I don't find him/her attractive but my partner fancies theirs so I'll bite the bullet" . Why would you consider doing that?
When you're being told you're too picky even in a jokey way, when you're trying to "prove" you're not, to prove you're open minded and not looking for excuses not to "have fun". When other people have accused you of trying to control your partner by obstructing meets and you know you're not, but are unsure how to prove it. When your partner talks of previous encounters and partners and how great they were, how open they were, when the situation and experience was what turned them on instead of the person they were fucking. When you're questioning in your own mind if swinging is for you, but you feel your relationship may hinge on being cool with it. Some people are great at applying the thumb screws without actually applying them.
It's only when you're out of a situation and you look back with a clear head that you can see the manipulation."
It's often very tiny inconspicuous things. That anyone else would think nothing of it, and even suggest you are being too sensitive and making something out of nothing. But it adds up to something else.
Very difficult to see when you are 'in it'. Obvious in retrospect.  |
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The problem with couples can be one ages better than the other, one is punching above their weight.. or especially on here I’ve noticed lots of couples with big age differences..
So to find another couple and everyone fancy eachother totally is going to be rare ..
Someone will be lowering their standards somewhere.. |
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I only did it once in my early swinging days when I was still quite naive and unsure of myself. We were in a club and another couple approached us and I got swept up in the moment and felt like I had to. Now I'm more confident I don't do anything because I feel I should |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always want the best for eachother but wouldn't "take one for the team" think its kinda disrespectful to the other people involved too. Dont really understand why people would compromise, if you aren't attracted to the person on some level.
Control can be a funny thing.
How do you mean Ivy?
When you said you dont understand why some would compromise.
Well, alot can be in abusive....or even coercive...relationships.
I have been, and also seen it before. One particular night in a club I was chatting to a couple and when the guy went to the toilet she told me she only swings because he would just leave her otherwise and they had been married a long time and she loved him and was desperate not to lose him.
I obviously then declined to give in to the guys advances after that.
It happens more than people think unfortunately."
I love jen to much to do that. Sje has the final say but we agreed that its only a social first then we talk about it alone. Then if we both like them and they like us we will then arrange a day for us all to meet up and play. If you respect your partner you should never force them to go with someone they dont fancy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem with couples can be one ages better than the other, one is punching above their weight.. or especially on here I’ve noticed lots of couples with big age differences..
So to find another couple and everyone fancy eachother totally is going to be rare ..
Someone will be lowering their standards somewhere.."
Wow so judgemental comment. Someone might think at some point you are punching above your weight.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem with couples can be one ages better than the other, one is punching above their weight.. or especially on here I’ve noticed lots of couples with big age differences..
So to find another couple and everyone fancy eachother totally is going to be rare ..
Someone will be lowering their standards somewhere.."
Please leave common sense and your honest opinion out of this thread.....
You will be called judgemental for stating things you have seen with your own eyes.....
God speed |
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