FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bi research!
Bi research!
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So hoping that this isn't seen to be against any rules, I mentioned the other day about doing a little research into "straight" male profiles, and people seemed to think it was a good idea
From 26 messages to male profiles listed as straight and not mentioning anything else about it in the text, from my "who's looked at me" and local searches, asking very neutrally if they played bi at all (not asking for a meet etc, just asking directly although of course there is an implication on Fab...), I got 20 replies (so far) and 2 were deleted after reading. Sorting the replies into groups that are hopefully fair...
10 - No, straight only
7 - Yes happily play bi too
3 - Will happily try it, but no experience yet
It was a pretty straight start, but the bi guys came through in the end to make it 50 / 50 when it comes to profiles that those wanting "Straight guys only" would presumably still agree to meet if they asked about it like I did. I've no plans to get a properly representative data set of 2000 men, but from a small sample, Interesting! |
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I've put myself up as bi and since doing so I've had a lot of nuisance messages from older guys. I can kinda see why guys do not always out themselves as such... also plenty of single woman appear to be put off by it, so perhaps this is why? |
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I’d say I get 50/50 straight guy profiles messaging me over bi guys.
When it comes to couples more like 80% will be bi and generally both in the couple are bi, as well. The other 20% straight guys pretending to be part of a couple, can’t remember any straight couples contacting at all.
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We actively seek Bi guys and have probably a 60/40 split of straight guys contacting us saying they’re bi.
Some of them seem like decent blokes but we do steer clear of anyone that has a ‘straight’ profile as some people will just tell you what they think you want to hear.
Hard not to tar everyone with the same brush, but we want to avoid any issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've put myself up as bi and since doing so I've had a lot of nuisance messages from older guys. I can kinda see why guys do not always out themselves as such... also plenty of single woman appear to be put off by it, so perhaps this is why?"
So why aint you blocked men from contacting you then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am Bisexual and open enough about it - both forms of sex please me and I enjoy the naked company of men and women
Does that make me a male tart - greedy - perv or just open enough to admit my likes/dislikes
Jon x  |
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"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
"
If people read profile text they’d never have to break it down any further.
A lot of my messages will ask ‘what am I looking for ?’ or ‘what do I like doing ?’ Each question easily answered if they’d read my profile properly or at all. |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
If people read profile text they’d never have to break it down any further.
A lot of my messages will ask ‘what am I looking for ?’ or ‘what do I like doing ?’ Each question easily answered if they’d read my profile properly or at all. "
in a perfect world it would all work properly but it's not so it might reduce the volume of messages as guys may use the search filter to filter out the bi people they are not looking for? Just an idea is all. |
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"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
"
Well the point (that virtually everyone is missing!?) is that these are all guys listed as straight. MOST are happy to say they play bi when asked. |
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"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
Well the point (that virtually everyone is missing!?) is that these are all guys listed as straight. MOST are happy to say they play bi when asked."
I did understand that, but then I'm known as one of the brighter posters on fab  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't fancy men, would never kiss a man - but I absolutely love cock, sucking it, and being fucked by it.
So - I'm not bi for men, but I am bi for cock  "
I fall into whatever this is. I guess because I love sucking cock and being fucked I am bi.
But like you totally uninterested in men.
I like to play with "in fit" guys but as long as nice cock I'm game lol
Could say sexually bi but emotionally straight? |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"I don't fancy men, would never kiss a man - but I absolutely love cock, sucking it, and being fucked by it.
So - I'm not bi for men, but I am bi for cock
I fall into whatever this is. I guess because I love sucking cock and being fucked I am bi.
But like you totally uninterested in men.
I like to play with "in fit" guys but as long as nice cock I'm game lol
Could say sexually bi but emotionally straight? "
Likewise...I'm attracted to guys but I play bi. So I list myself as bi. |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"I don't fancy men, would never kiss a man - but I absolutely love cock, sucking it, and being fucked by it.
So - I'm not bi for men, but I am bi for cock
I fall into whatever this is. I guess because I love sucking cock and being fucked I am bi.
But like you totally uninterested in men.
I like to play with "in fit" guys but as long as nice cock I'm game lol
Could say sexually bi but emotionally straight? Likewise...I'm attracted to guys but I play bi. So I list myself as bi. "
Should have read not attracted to guys but play bi.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of guys have opened up to exploring and found the enjoyment in cock lol happily play behind close doors with cock and guys but publicly straight as afraid of the stigma society still places on "labels"
Behind close door I'm a cock slut haha girlfriend loves watching. But I wouldn't ever tell anyone at my work/family/or friends.
Only her and some select close friends know.
The "stigma" and "judging" from society I guess prevents me telling/openly saying I like cock lol |
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"21 replies... 8 now said yes!
Just to understand the figures, is that plus 4 who said they would give it a go?
So 50%? "
Yes, by my interpretation of the responses the majority *said* they would be interested in bi play to varying levels.
Seems very dubious to presume any guy here is actually straight, just because they say they are. Find by me, very not fine for others... |
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Im bi, and the amount of Fabswinger "straight " guys view and comment on my cock and do I want to meet is high. I must either have the power to turn a persons sexuality around ( dont think so) or guys are not honest, scared that they wont be able to have sex with the ladies.  |
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"I think a lot of guys have opened up to exploring and found the enjoyment in cock lol happily play behind close doors with cock and guys but publicly straight as afraid of the stigma society still places on "labels"
Behind close door I'm a cock slut haha girlfriend loves watching. But I wouldn't ever tell anyone at my work/family/or friends.
Only her and some select close friends know.
The "stigma" and "judging" from society I guess prevents me telling/openly saying I like cock lol "
Shame you've no cock pics to perve over lol |
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Tuesday update...
24 replies from "straight" profiles
11 - No, straight only
9 - Yes happily play bi too
4 - Will happily try bi
54% of these "straight" guys aren't straight if you don't want them to be... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m bi had some threesomes were the other male was definitely there just for some pussy, I expect a bi male to fuck me just as hard as the female, it’s super awkward when a guy won’t let you ride or suck his cock ! |
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We know a few Bi men and they get inundated with so called straight males asking mainly for a blow job ?? and due to mr4 likes wearing sexy pants they then assume he is Bi ?? but we are willing to meet Bi men ?? and even more surprising is the attitude to B i men on here ...but it's totally 100% fine for a Fem to be Bi ?? human nature i guess  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading the update, surely all this means is that , we don't really need labels do we, if a person attracts you and that turns into arousal, then a chemistry must exist - ergo -have fun , just remember that;
"life is for living, because we are a long time dead"
Whether you are a Bisexual person, should not limit your opportunity to enjoy other peoples company when naked
and one final point worth mentioning;
Those of us who have been around swinging scene for a while, know that when you attend arranged group meetings of mix sex, when the fun kicks off, hands, tongues for both Male and Female
Enjoy it whilst you can
J xx |
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"I’m bi had some threesomes were the other male was definitely there just for some pussy, I expect a bi male to fuck me just as hard as the female, it’s super awkward when a guy won’t let you ride or suck his cock !"
Even at the point where you need to be "let" at all... I want to be asked to / made to... I don't merely want to be tolerated with "permission". |
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"Bi on my profile!! Why hide what you are??"
Because, and without the "preference" conversation I do to death on other threads, some people class men with bi thoughts as unacceptable, even if it doesn't need to have anything to do with their direct engagement.
Very much NOT looking for that conversation here though! |
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" We know a few Bi men and they get inundated with so called straight males asking mainly for a blow job ?? and due to mr4 likes wearing sexy pants they then assume he is Bi ?? but we are willing to meet Bi men ?? and even more surprising is the attitude to B i men on here ...but it's totally 100% fine for a Fem to be Bi ?? human nature i guess "
I may be naive, but I don't ever detect any attitude either on fab or in clubs towards bi guys.
What is said time and time again to everyone is be honest about your sexuality. |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"See I class bi curious as into the same sex but would have an relationship with
And bi as willing to have a relationship with!
Thats just my opinion "
a good opinion to have and shows the problem with simple labels.. I get straight blokes message me on here saying is that you on fabguys.. |
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100% agree about honesty and not just about your sexuality either and some of the Bi males we know it's been implied they are dirty ?? or not really men ?? and they do say it does tend to come from mostly men and men in couples !! and think that's more down to them being Homophobic or ..the lady doth protest to much ?? |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
I also laugh on fabguys as there are so mnay nasty comments about TV/TS yet the most fabbed pics are often TV/TS... Isn't it easier for everyone to just be able to say where they are.. Why not have a term such as Adventurous or Open Minded... Taht hints at someone being at least interested in the Bi side of life, even if they don't feel comfortable putting that label on themselves.. |
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"I may be naive, but I don't ever detect any attitude either on fab or in clubs towards bi guys."
Really? We've both commented on threads were that's been pretty rife. This whole poll was built around the "no bi men!!!" profiles.
"What is said time and time again to everyone is be honest about your sexuality. "
It's a good statement, but honesty, when limited to a couple of menu options, and a very fluid definition of terms, especially between genders, can be a surprisingly hard thing to agree on. |
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"I may be naive, but I don't ever detect any attitude either on fab or in clubs towards bi guys.
Really? We've both commented on threads were that's been pretty rife. This whole poll was built around the "no bi men!!!" profiles.
What is said time and time again to everyone is be honest about your sexuality.
It's a good statement, but honesty, when limited to a couple of menu options, and a very fluid definition of terms, especially between genders, can be a surprisingly hard thing to agree on."
Yeah but
You said we weren't discussing the preference thing
Being a glass half full sort of chap, I think in terms of preference, rather than thinking someone has an attitude.
An attitude to me would be saying something homophobic. A guy saying they don't want another guy touching their cock is not homophobic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
Well the point (that virtually everyone is missing!?) is that these are all guys listed as straight. MOST are happy to say they play bi when asked."
I've noticed that lots of profiles specify "no bi men" or that they "dislike bi men" which might explain why some men feel they want to hide their bi side.
For the record, I would rather meet people who are comfortable with the knowledge that I'm bi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WARNING : Mini Rant ......
What next I wonder - will there be the cry's of
"bring out your bi men and shame them" (but Bi women are cool )
"string up the Bi men by their balls" (but lets watch the Bi women go at it)
"make all bi men live in embarrassment" (let the bi women have a party)
The point I am trying to make is that in most case Bi men are treated as "dirty men in a mac" and are made to feel un clean - whereas Bi women are treated with respect and revered - as they should be lol
I am bisexual, happy to say so
Ranty thing over -
I will go and hide now |
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"WARNING : Mini Rant ......
What next I wonder - will there be the cry's of
"bring out your bi men and shame them" (but Bi women are cool )
"string up the Bi men by their balls" (but lets watch the Bi women go at it)
"make all bi men live in embarrassment" (let the bi women have a party)
The point I am trying to make is that in most case Bi men are treated as "dirty men in a mac" and are made to feel un clean - whereas Bi women are treated with respect and revered - as they should be lol
I am bisexual, happy to say so
Ranty thing over -
I will go and hide now "
I think you're exaggerating somewhat, but naturally it would be good to see equality in these areas. Although in the broader world, I would still seem women regularly get the raw deal in ways that matter far more... |
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"Maybe you should also do one of these for straight women. It would be interesting to see the results. "
Sent 10000 messages, got 3 replies... :D
The motivation isn't there for that, as I doubt a single woman has ever been attacked for being "secretly" bi in any way. |
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"Would it help if the bi category was further broke down into top, btm or flexible? Or will guys just pick flexible to get a reply?
Well the point (that virtually everyone is missing!?) is that these are all guys listed as straight. MOST are happy to say they play bi when asked.
I've noticed that lots of profiles specify "no bi men" or that they "dislike bi men" which might explain why some men feel they want to hide their bi side.
For the record, I would rather meet people who are comfortable with the knowledge that I'm bi."
We’ve noticed this too. It’s a good filter though because we can just block these people so we know not to contact them in future  |
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"To many males who lie about whether their bi and who dont put it on their profiles as some couples are not interested in them if they are."
I think it's interesting that in this bracket, there are some people who *presume* that bi men will expect and insist on bi play. It's a naive position, but it's not inherently coming from a place of bigotry I don't think. Some are, some aren't. Quite what that split is, and any other plausible justifications there may also be, who knows... |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Maybe you should also do one of these for straight women. It would be interesting to see the results.
Sent 10000 messages, got 3 replies... :D
The motivation isn't there for that, as I doubt a single woman has ever been attacked for being "secretly" bi in any way."
And of the 3 that replied the results were? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To many males who lie about whether their bi and who dont put it on their profiles as some couples are not interested in them if they are.
I think it's interesting that in this bracket, there are some people who *presume* that bi men will expect and insist on bi play. It's a naive position, but it's not inherently coming from a place of bigotry I don't think. Some are, some aren't. Quite what that split is, and any other plausible justifications there may also be, who knows..."
We are both bi but can play straight. Everyone seems to think that bi men eye up every single male which is so far from the truth. Its takes a connection for me to want to play with another guy. Also if he is straight eyeing him up is the last thing on my mind. People need to rethink their views on bi guys as not all of us have sex with a guy on our minds as a priority. Although i am not interested in meeting the so called cock sucking only bi guys whoes main aim is just to do it with the hope of fucking the women of the couple. |
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I am Bi ( male ) and Mrs is like spaghetti, straight until wet and then happy to play bi!!
We occasionally look for a Bi guy and most are listed as straight who message us.
Still a big stigma around being a bi guy unfortunately but totally fine if the female is bi!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am Bi ( male ) and Mrs is like spaghetti, straight until wet and then happy to play bi!!
We occasionally look for a Bi guy and most are listed as straight who message us.
Still a big stigma around being a bi guy unfortunately but totally fine if the female is bi!!"
Tough shit to the ones who do not like us bi guys buddy. Makes no difference to me. |
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My wife wanted me to go with a guy. I was 100% straight so I thought. But have never looked back since. If people don't like me because I am bi, so be it. Just because I am Bi it doesn't mean to say I am going to jump on another guy. It just says if your ok with it, so am I. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is strange I'm not attracted to men in the slightest but have thought about sucking cock and it would be a turn on but don't know how I'd feel about it after so it's stayed a thought for now |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"This is strange I'm not attracted to men in the slightest but have thought about sucking cock and it would be a turn on but don't know how I'd feel about it after so it's stayed a thought for now "
I would suggest an "accidental" suck while playing with a guy and your beautiful wife might be the way to go for you. That way you don't over think it. And can claim it an accident if not for you, or a raging success if it is for you! Good luck!
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"This is strange I'm not attracted to men in the slightest but have thought about sucking cock and it would be a turn on but don't know how I'd feel about it after so it's stayed a thought for now I would suggest an "accidental" suck while playing with a guy and your beautiful wife might be the way to go for you. That way you don't over think it. And can claim it an accident if not for you, or a raging success if it is for you! Good luck! "
Doing it "accidentally" sounds like a "lack" "of" "consent" to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is strange I'm not attracted to men in the slightest but have thought about sucking cock and it would be a turn on but don't know how I'd feel about it after so it's stayed a thought for now I would suggest an "accidental" suck while playing with a guy and your beautiful wife might be the way to go for you. That way you don't over think it. And can claim it an accident if not for you, or a raging success if it is for you! Good luck!
Doing it "accidentally" sounds like a "lack" "of" "consent" to me. "
Yeah this. And also why often bi men get a bad name. 
Just find a bi guy and ask him if he minds a suck. |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"This is strange I'm not attracted to men in the slightest but have thought about sucking cock and it would be a turn on but don't know how I'd feel about it after so it's stayed a thought for now I would suggest an "accidental" suck while playing with a guy and your beautiful wife might be the way to go for you. That way you don't over think it. And can claim it an accident if not for you, or a raging success if it is for you! Good luck!
Doing it "accidentally" sounds like a "lack" "of" "consent" to me. "
I meant with a bi guy. So someone who they have chatted to before meeting and explained his bi curiosity to and someone who has said they are comfortable with it and if it happens then great,if not then they'll still have fun.
It's interesting you assumed I meant without having discussed it before the meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met alot of chaps who would identify more as straight but are lovers of cock rather than being sexually attracted to men (as previously mentioned by others)
There is still prejudice against men that identify as Bi on their profiles. Whereas Bi curious is perhaps more accepted, hete exible even more so.
This isn't just a fab thing either, even on vanilla sites.
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"I am Bi ( male ) and Mrs is like spaghetti, straight until wet and then happy to play bi!!
We occasionally look for a Bi guy and most are listed as straight who message us.
Still a big stigma around being a bi guy unfortunately but totally fine if the female is bi!!"
you block men so that's confusing.. Plenty of Bi men at Ham worthy.. And yes still a stigma attached |
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
"A lot of men will put straight on their profile but are orally bi, this is where bi courious can be a good filter"
spot on... Although fully Bi here, if presented with a choice of a nice cock to suck or your legs to lick.. The legs win..
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Is it because we are conditioned to be one thing or the other, i have plenty of straight fab guys message me, i personally am happy to explore and an open mind, dont get concerned about what socitey tells you what you should be, get on with it and enjoy, admiring both and olaying with both is purely more fun |
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"A lot of men will put straight on their profile but are orally bi, this is where bi courious can be a good filterspot on... Although fully Bi here, if presented with a choice of a nice cock to suck or your legs to lick.. The legs win.. "
Well yes, if it's one or the other, it's a pretty obvious choice... |
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By *zlakMan
over a year ago
Norwich |
"Bi on my profile!! Why hide what you are??
Because, and without the "preference" conversation I do to death on other threads, some people class men with bi thoughts as unacceptable, even if it doesn't need to have anything to do with their direct engagement.
Very much NOT looking for that conversation here though!"
Good cuz I'm not going to have the conversation! |
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Wish i could find a genuine couple to experiment with as im definately curious as i have experimented with a few mates and odd cousin when i was younger but i do get turned on seeing good looking cocks but a bi mmf would be ideal especially if the couple took advantage of me. Id Love to wank with a guy infront of there gf all touching and teasing and watch eachother cum together on her, big turn on for me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did a similar experiment on you tube and online. What is the difference between bi curious and bi sexual. What can you do as a straight person.
Go with females, trans women, pre, post op, they are of course female, so that goes without saying.
One thing I come across that people will disagree until the cows come home is the following. If a guy has sex with someone of the same sex, as a one off, this doesn’t make him
Bi. A bit like saying someone who is gay who has never slept with anyone of the opposite sex bar one person, as a one off. Do they suddenly stop being gay. Oh and the bicurious thing, doesn’t actually mean anything. Saying I am interested in experimenting or having same sex fun isn’t a sexual description, like bi, hetero, gay. That’s why we have heteexible, homoflexible. Bi curious is temporary. You could try it and move on to being bi or retreat back in your straight cocoon where none of the naughty penises can get you. I still class myself as straight, just open minded. And I have chatted to a number of ts/tv on here, really cool people. Interesting research, well done. |
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Interesting research! My own message box is a much less reliable indicator but from that there is certainly no shortage of gents whose profiles say ‘straight’ but whose messages say ‘gagging for cock’ (slightly paraphrasing).
All in the cause of scientific research I’ve encountered some of these correspondents on cam or (in the olden days) in person. And - again unscientifically - it’s been interesting that some are broadly ‘I feel I’m basically bi/gay but don’t call myself that because I don’t want others to know or find out’; and others broadly ‘I like (the idea of) having sex with other men but still feel I’m straight - I could never be in a relationship / emotionally attracted to a male; or it’s purely about being in the right situation.’
I’m sure (reading the forums I know it!) that those are self-definitions with which some people strongly disagree. But I think they’re genuinely held, so simply scolding them for having the ‘wrong’ way of listing themselves on fab is probably unproductive.
Maybe even counterproductive... What both attitudes have in common I’d suggest is a sense that identifying as straight is somehow ‘better’ - the sexual identity to hold on to if you possibly can as it makes you more acceptable. The more other profiles there are which present straight males as the more desirable (or the only acceptable) type to meet - the more that hierarchy is reinforced in here.
Just to be clear - yes of course it’s a person’s ‘right’ to say they don’t want to meet people of a certain type. But there’s an irony that the more people on here who say ‘no bi men’, the more likely it is men like the ones I’m describing will put straight on their profile. There will never be a way - apart from maybe a Line of Duty surveillance operation - to know for certain if that ‘straight’ guy harbours an occasional desire for cock. But it does seem to matter a lot to some folks on here... |
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"I don't fancy men, would never kiss a man - but I absolutely love cock, sucking it, and being fucked by it.
So - I'm not bi for men, but I am bi for cock "
That’s the same for me except I haven’t Ben fucked by a cock yet lol |
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