FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are fabbers clicky?
Are fabbers clicky?
Jump to: Newest in thread
I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you!"
Some people will just have known each other for longer and tend to stick to that. That's why I stay off the name a formuite threads  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly) "
It is all about perception I get that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that."
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that.
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own! "
A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that.
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!
A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place?"
It is! But cliques are natural things ... you could be in one and not notice! Cliques are just friendships? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that.
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!
A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place?
It is! But cliques are natural things ... you could be in one and not notice! Cliques are just friendships? "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You often see the same names on threads but it will not change if no one else joins in. I am new to the forums and often get passed by but it is only because lots of friendship groups already exist - that's okay! Mean cliques are unpleasant but I have not seen that here so far |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought this is a friendly inclusive place?
What on Earth made you think that? "
Fab is very much what you make it and the forums are a very tiny part of it ... just stick to the inclusive people and ignore the rest! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I very rarely post outside the Ireland forum because I've gotten to know most of the people that post there.
I also create one or two threads a day but they're answered by anyone not just a clique
I suppose its because there's a lot less Irish fabbers that it seems to be the same people all the time that answer and we all seem to be part of a clique
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
As has been said; the perception of it is often a large part of it.
I’ve been on the forums for years, I’ve built up friendships with several posters and to outsiders it can seem exclusionary. That’s not the case.
It’s like being in a pub; groups form, people chat amongst themselves, they include people as they draw attention, sometimes they don’t.
I often find that accusations of cliquey behaviour are levelled by those trying to draw attention, that are on the outside of groups and are feeling unnoticed.
Just as with joining any new social group, it can take time for people to get used to new posters and it’s no one’s responsibility to talk to new posters, however it is nice to get new posters.
If you feel that you’re on the outside, then don’t lose heart. People will get to know you and commenting will help you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i interact with anyone and with any thread i fancy.. no rhyme or reason.
go back a year or so, i'd have said yes, very clingy.
but not so much now i don't think. i think people have more time for others, with a more positive outlook since things everywhere else have been so gloomy!
Px  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fab is very much what you make it"
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it. "
But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it. "
I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.
Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..
Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you!"
Unless the post is from someone I’ve blocked, I’ll reply to anyone if I can find a funny or helpful message to respond to what’s being said.
Often I do reply to people like forum royalty cause they’re always around and it might look like it’s clicky; but it’s not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?
"
Exactly. We "can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you". We don't have "our little bit of Fab", because it exists in consensus reality, is influenced by a massive array of factors entirely beyond our control, and is owned and operated by people who aren't us.
So no, it's not, never has been, and never will be, "what [we] make it". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.
Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..
Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play "
Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?
Exactly. We "can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you". We don't have "our little bit of Fab", because it exists in consensus reality, is influenced by a massive array of factors entirely beyond our control, and is owned and operated by people who aren't us.
So no, it's not, never has been, and never will be, "what [we] make it". "
It is only is, always has been "what we make it" we have no influence over other people and their bit of fab! It's a forum for meeting people the we want to meet and that want to meet us! Nothing more or less ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.
Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..
Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play
Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves! "
Totally agree, we are powerless over others, have to own our part in things, so if I feel excluded, I have to bring it back to the first me, and see how what I can do to feel included |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.
Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..
Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play
Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Totally agree, we are powerless over others, have to own our part in things, so if I feel excluded, I have to bring it back to the first me, and see how what I can do to feel included"
First person** |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves! "
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My knees make a terrible clicky noise
V x
I have oil for you V 
A good few squirts required.
V x "
I'll trade my squirts of oil, for some food I'm hank here lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful."
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My knees make a terrible clicky noise
V x
I have oil for you V
A good few squirts required.
V x
I'll trade my squirts of oil, for some food I'm hank here lol
It’s all you think about "
Food n sex V, not always in that order, lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point? "
Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "
Of cause they do, but aint that down to the fact fab is so cock heavy, if it was more balanced, im sure tge experiences of both genders, would be pretty much aligned |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "
I think this is where experiences are different.
For men and couples seeking single females, fab is certainly not what you make of it in terms of meets. If you only come here for the forums then it will be what you make of it. As a female, it will probably be what you make of it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "
Oh yes totally! But there are very successful men on here of all descriptions and that's always intrigued me! I think a truly positive vibe to fab helps completely.
The difference is a lot to do with the fact that men seriously outnumber the ladies, down here it's literally 100/1, which isn't very realistic for what most men think being on fab is going to offer them! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.
I generally do the opposite, not much interest in group think but I’ve old friends here as well as new friends who I’ve met and some I haven’t yet and some I likely never will. I’ve created several WhatsApp groups and am invited to some others I didn't make.
Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me
Can I join your clique
Membership is currently at full capacity, soz"
I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me
Can I join your clique
Membership is currently at full capacity, soz
I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours "
Lol you're should of finished that by blowing a raspberry lol
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me
Can I join your clique
Membership is currently at full capacity, soz
I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours
Lol you're should of finished that by blowing a raspberry lol
"
I was stamping my feet really, just don't have a apporiate emoji fit it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site?
Oh yes totally! But there are very successful men on here of all descriptions and that's always intrigued me! I think a truly positive vibe to fab helps completely.
The difference is a lot to do with the fact that men seriously outnumber the ladies, down here it's literally 100/1, which isn't very realistic for what most men think being on fab is going to offer them! "
Good point! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes OP. They generally are clicky. Not saying it's a bad thing. People go with what they know but for newbies you do feel it and might feel sidelined a little. Inside fab I'm not in any click and tend float like a social butterfly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you!"
We tend to just comment on the threads we have an interest in and don’t really look at the OP before we do, couldn’t comment on anyone else obviously.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.
I generally do the opposite, not much interest in group think but I’ve old friends here as well as new friends who I’ve met and some I haven’t yet and some I likely never will. I’ve created several WhatsApp groups and am invited to some others I didn't make.
Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little "
I am not whining.. stop patronising!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly) "
Excellent response! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fab is very much what you make it
I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.
I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.
Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.
I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.
Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..
Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play "
Where as other people who you may think may struggle a little to make connections, join up with a good attitude, get involved and get known for all the right reasons. They accept they won't be everyone's cup of tea and just concentrate on people who respond well to them, and they do really well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I think it's more that people get to know each other the more they post on the forum's and tend to interact with people they get to know more than a clique.
Everyone is new at some point and you have to make an effort to chat in any forum if you post once in a blue moon or just post to give out then you are a lot less likely to get replies .I often don't get replies especially in the lounge or here it doesn't bother me I just post if something interests me .If people reply grand if they don't then it's not a big deal either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's more that people get to know each other the more they post on the forum's and tend to interact with people they get to know more than a clique.
Everyone is new at some point and you have to make an effort to chat in any forum if you post once in a blue moon or just post to give out then you are a lot less likely to get replies .I often don't get replies especially in the lounge or here it doesn't bother me I just post if something interests me .If people reply grand if they don't then it's not a big deal either."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree with those who say that especially in the Irish forums where there is a smaller number of active posters it can appear to be cliquey.
I've often posted here or in the lounge and had my comments completely ignored so I tend to stick to the Irish forum where I do have a voice.
Despite all that there are obviously people who do encourage cliques and need the oxygen that others supply in the form of public acknowledgement and adulation.
I don't have the slightest interest in anyone, man or woman who needs or demands my attention.
The word popular is often used incorrectly on here when people think that just because you may be a forum regular and people respond to what you say then it automatically follows that you are popular. It doesn't work that way however. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point? "
I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.
I'm not taking anything "out of context". I was making the effort to only quote the specific points I'm responding to, a) for clarity, and b) to spare everyone scrolling past whole walls of text to get to the actual response. I won't bother in future. Fab really needs a better quoting function.
I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the patently absurd assertion that "[XYZ] is what you make it". It's just ludicrous. But then this forum on the whole seems to believe some pretty ridiculous stuff (MBTI is a legitimate tool; body hair is blasphemy and must be destroyed; yelling "I HAVE A PREFERENCE!" is a magic get-out-of-jail-free card for racism, et cetera), so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see total canards being repeated as some kind of holy gospel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.
I'm not taking anything "out of context". I was making the effort to only quote the specific points I'm responding to, a) for clarity, and b) to spare everyone scrolling past whole walls of text to get to the actual response. I won't bother in future. Fab really needs a better quoting function.
I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the patently absurd assertion that "[XYZ] is what you make it". It's just ludicrous. But then this forum on the whole seems to believe some pretty ridiculous stuff (MBTI is a legitimate tool; body hair is blasphemy and must be destroyed; yelling "I HAVE A PREFERENCE!" is a magic get-out-of-jail-free card for racism, et cetera), so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see total canards being repeated as some kind of holy gospel."
No need to be condescending |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago
upton wirral |
"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you!"
Many are yes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Who cares? Really. I wouldn't meet anyone from the forum as I don't like to put myself out there. I think if you view the forum as just that... somewhere to post crap... you won't go far wrong. Leave the popularity contests and the love ins to others |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!
Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!
And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...
Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.
You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?
But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?
I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.
I'm not taking anything "out of context". I was making the effort to only quote the specific points I'm responding to, a) for clarity, and b) to spare everyone scrolling past whole walls of text to get to the actual response. I won't bother in future. Fab really needs a better quoting function.
I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the patently absurd assertion that "[XYZ] is what you make it". It's just ludicrous. But then this forum on the whole seems to believe some pretty ridiculous stuff (MBTI is a legitimate tool; body hair is blasphemy and must be destroyed; yelling "I HAVE A PREFERENCE!" is a magic get-out-of-jail-free card for racism, et cetera), so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see total canards being repeated as some kind of holy gospel."
I actually said they're alluding to the same thing ... so not quite how you have decided to read it. A lot of things taken out of context actually change their meanings as the whole point is missed.
And I agree with the poster above regarding there is absolutely no need to be condescending ... a difference of opinion does not need any shouting down.
I'm off to bed and sleep now and happily leave you to your view and am happy with my simplistic positivity.
Wishing all a good night's sleep |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
How can a clique, know it’s cliquey?
Only projection from others can impose this.
I’m out with the In crowd, is a smidgin of little childish memories in my world.
Just create your own clique of people who have values same as yours.
Or watch. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"i hate it when people complain about cliques everyone automatically talks firstly with those they know you wouldnt walk into a pub ignore your friends and go to sit down with some random stranger"
It does not hurt to acknoledge and include though! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I agree with those who say that especially in the Irish forums where there is a smaller number of active posters it can appear to be cliquey.
I've often posted here or in the lounge and had my comments completely ignored so I tend to stick to the Irish forum where I do have a voice.
Despite all that there are obviously people who do encourage cliques and need the oxygen that others supply in the form of public acknowledgement and adulation.
I don't have the slightest interest in anyone, man or woman who needs or demands my attention.
The word popular is often used incorrectly on here when people think that just because you may be a forum regular and people respond to what you say then it automatically follows that you are popular. It doesn't work that way however. "
They are probably discussed in the WhatsApp groups....... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Cliques will always exist in everyday life. But it’s just friends or people who are familiar with each other.
I think the forum isn’t cliquey...it’s just people tend to see the same people chatting between themselves but it’s human nature you are going to chat to people you know.
I’ve seen a lot of newbies come in and become a regular posters and so they’ve joined the clique.
The clique is only non inclusive if you make it that way.
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't want to be part of a clique that would lower it's standards enough to let me in
What sometimes appears cliquey is just normal human behaviours.
If a popular person posts, you'll have at least 3 kinds of interaction.
Banter between friends.
Sycophants trying to curry favour.
Scrappers rolling sleeves up to have a good argument.
When all three wade in, the casual observers can get lost in the tidal wave.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different."
Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn’t say clicky as in an in crowd unless I’m so far out I don’t see it ..... but if I was chatting with someone I would comment on their thread but I think I comment on threads I think I can add input or my opinion on..... I don’t see any clickyness but again that’s my opinion xxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that.
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own! "
It not perceive they are real most of the time it's people that are in the click don't realise they are the effect they have on other people, people will portray themselves to be a somebody they're not in order to be in a click so as not to be left out.
I do that there are a few clicks on fab and I do think that sometimes they do bully and kinkshame people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!
All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!
Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!
Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.
Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!
And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)
It is all about perception I get that.
It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!
It not perceive they are real most of the time it's people that are in the click don't realise they are the effect they have on other people, people will portray themselves to be a somebody they're not in order to be in a click so as not to be left out.
I do that there are a few clicks on fab and I do think that sometimes they do bully and kinkshame people. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I wouldn't suggest that fabs has that particular problem.
Previously when I've chatted to folks in clubs, I've been upfront and mentioned my membership on Fabs and asked if they were members.
Never had a bad response to date. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.
Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site."
Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.
The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.
Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.
Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.
The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not."
I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.
I generally do the opposite, not much interest in group think but I’ve old friends here as well as new friends who I’ve met and some I haven’t yet and some I likely never will. I’ve created several WhatsApp groups and am invited to some others I didn't make.
Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little
I am not whining.. stop patronising!! "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As I like to be in different types of groups and online chat. I’ve often posted on runners, bikers, TV/ TS sites and various other forums over the years.
Each and everyone had some sort of clique, for me it’s how those who know they get attention on those forums react, to new people trying to get involved. Most of the time it’s if that person appears to be taking whatever that group is in to, seriously.
So on a running forum a marathon runner with good advice and history of turning up at races, part of a running club and socials, will get more credit than those who just occasionally use the forums to chat but don’t actively get into the scene itself.
That’s the same for the bikers etc...turn up for a motorcycle run or a running race your face gets known and you’re part of the scene or clique. So it follows that anything you start on the forums or contribute to, is taken more seriously.
If there was no clique they’d be no threads that start ‘who’s your favourite forum user’ or ‘forum user from the past’ etc..and the same names are often quoted.
Because of that I’m not actually against a clique to a certain extent, it’s those who put in the effort regularly posting on the forums putting in time to build up an online presence who deserve to get some recognition and their points and threads created get more attention than others. As they’re the ones that are ensuring the forums are worth visiting and contributing to interesting debate and fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.
What say you!"
I don't know you so I won't comment  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If people dont want to talk or include you then thats fine by me. I am old amd mature enough to just leave them alone. Life is to short to lose sleep over things like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.
Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.
Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.
The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not.
I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays."
Nor should here be at the moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.
Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.
Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.
The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not.
I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays.
Since you insist, this is at least a contact seeking site..
Nor should here be at the moment."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
Tabitha xx 
