FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Some advice for some men..
Some advice for some men..
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If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind. |
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
It’s when I go from “gorgeous” to “fat and ugly” in 30 seconds that makes me laugh haha xx |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough/ Kettering |
I suppose if you turn someone down and they respond with a load of abuse it means they are probably an asshole but on a positive note at least didn't have to find out face to face that they were / are an asshole  delete/block/move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some men take rejection really badly and it's sad. It taints all other men. I've sent many messages on here and got few replies, but I understand most women have flooded inboxes and you won't be to everyone's tastes.
I've also had it from guys who message me and I've ignored them at times. They quickly turn angry and even at times abusive. Can't imagine what it's like for the poor women of Fab.
Respect should always come first  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No excuse for a lack of manners or personal abuse Lydia. I put it down to a lack of education insofar as people either cannot be bothered to read a profile, do not understand it or think it does not apply to them. There is no plausible reason for a basic lack of respect whatsoever, just because this is an adult site does not mean it is ok to be crude or unpleasant. Keep your chin up, you are beautiful and there still are some gentlemen out there x |
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By *ary8insMan
over a year ago
St Neots, UK |
"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
Well said and I apologise for that idiot who gives the rest of us a bad name! Just can't understand people who can't take a polite "no and good luck with your search!" The amount of single women and couples that I have spoken to over the years having the same problem, beggars belief. Some guys just can't take any form of rejection and if that's the case, they shouldn't be on here. Take it on the chin and move on. They should be reported to admin and kicked off the site!
Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!!  x |
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I know a lot of ladies who reply...then block.
That just saves dealing with the blind venom spat in defence of a poorly woorly ego.
Simples.
You can always go back later and unblock them...but can't see why |
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This is exactly what I do, reply out of courtesy with a not for me thank you, and usually block.
The only time I don't reply is if someone hasn't read my profile at all, and are the exact opposite of what I'm looking for  |
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Things we get a lot of after politely declining:
- why?
- but if I
- age is just a number
- do u actually meet?
- I like driving
If you've been declined what's the point of why? It's not going to change anything, age is a preference, yes we do and your love for travel is not in question |
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
But you know that statistically no one reading this will be the ones doing that, so this thread couldn't possibly achieve much, if anything. |
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind.
Well said and I apologise for that idiot who gives the rest of us a bad name! Just can't understand people who can't take a polite "no and good luck with your search!" The amount of single women and couples that I have spoken to over the years having the same problem, beggars belief. Some guys just can't take any form of rejection and if that's the case, they shouldn't be on here. Take it on the chin and move on. They should be reported to admin and kicked off the site!
Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!! x"
It doesn't give all men a bad name, but what it and other shitty behaviour on here has done in my case is simply put me off engaging with new people as a whole.
Sit in my own bubble with a crocodile infested moat around it to keep people a safe distance from me. |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough/ Kettering |
"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind.
Well said and I apologise for that idiot who gives the rest of us a bad name! Just can't understand people who can't take a polite "no and good luck with your search!" The amount of single women and couples that I have spoken to over the years having the same problem, beggars belief. Some guys just can't take any form of rejection and if that's the case, they shouldn't be on here. Take it on the chin and move on. They should be reported to admin and kicked off the site!
Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!! x
It doesn't give all men a bad name, but what it and other shitty behaviour on here has done in my case is simply put me off engaging with new people as a whole.
Sit in my own bubble with a crocodile infested moat around it to keep people a safe distance from me."
Crocodile infested moat? You must be dead posh
Sounds like a scene from Shrek! (Or was that dragons?)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a bloke who tries his best to be polite in every interaction, I can only apologise for the immature berks bringing my sex into disrepute!
Be nice to eachother guys! It's not difficult! |
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
I’m sorry you’ve been through that. I get rejections all the time, I thank the person for giving me the respect of replying and wish them well on here.
If you get abuse, just block and ignore. Starting threads like this and updating statuses is just giving them what they want. Attention. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I usually say no thanks then block
If they just send a shit message it gets deleted, in the past I've had people message again asking why I deleted, so I fully tell them, then block.
Some people get too comfortable on the Internet saying things they'd never dream of in real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You look great btw,
We get abusive messages as well, we just read the message take a look at their profile, and if they are not for us we delete and block if necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
yep the block button is thee best tool on fab .... also love the way guys think that its other men that ruin it for them but sorry guys you ruin it for yourself only.. only you are responsible for you bad guys do not ruin it for you you use that as an excuse thats just not true..
and as for the abuse its not nice but id rather them show there real colours up front so i can block than find out later when to late ... just imagine saying no to these guys in bed the thought terrifies me ... |
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Definitely feeling your pain, I got abuse today for spelling something wrong  just sad really I guess, have a nice day and don't let them get you down, there are lots of very nice people on fab it just takes time to find them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think its to be expected on fab sadly, like people not showing their face but expecting to someone's face.
Its stuff people wouldn't do in person but feel it's fine to do online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately we live in a world where rejection isn't taken well. Ignore the abuse and name calling, afterall its only because you said no. I'm sure comments and attitudes would be different if you had been like the man from del-monte and said yes!!! |
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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
No excuse for abuse, full stop. But the simplest and safest option is to block single men from contacting you; and you do the searching yourself.
Someone will no doubt now pop up and insist that this is victim blaming. It’s not, it is just a practical solution to a problem which is otherwise insoluble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just absolute idiots...... keyboard warriors with a superiority complex.... I just report block and move on.....mind you it’s better than avoiding punches like I had to in a previous career!! Haha
You sound like you won’t let them steal your sparkle OP.... go you!!! |
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It is unacceptable for people to be abusive when turned down. People have a choice and a right to exercise that choice. Whenever I have been declined I usually send a message saying thank you for replying and I hope you find what you are looking for and have a good time.
Politeness is free. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
No point in getting upset.
But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.
They get in touch or you to them.
They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged
You arrange meet or a time for another chat.
Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."
Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.
Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.
If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.
|
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"No point in getting upset.
But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.
They get in touch or you to them.
They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged
You arrange meet or a time for another chat.
Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."
Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.
Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.
If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.
"
Men are guilty of this too .
Take it as they've had a ladies wank and moved on |
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"No point in getting upset.
But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.
They get in touch or you to them.
They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged
You arrange meet or a time for another chat.
Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."
Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.
Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.
If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.
"
I go quiet when I'm shutting down mentally, when I'm on the cusp or freefalling into a depression. I don't think that's rude of me, it's me saving my own life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think some men take rejection really badly and it's sad. It taints all other men. I've sent many messages on here and got few replies, but I understand most women have flooded inboxes and you won't be to everyone's tastes.
I've also had it from guys who message me and I've ignored them at times. They quickly turn angry and even at times abusive. Can't imagine what it's like for the poor women of Fab.
Respect should always come first "
... This is correct. It does taint other men who have always been polite and mannerly. Hope the rotten apples don't turn women off rhe decent guys |
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By *ivaniaMan
over a year ago
London |
If you get a reply back saying not interested, it's a fair comment, no need to be pushy and disrespectful. We all have our type and choices, just move on.
There is still decent respectfull man on fab  |
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"I wouldn't want to know why. It's asking a question you probably don't want to hear the answer to lol"
I've just got one of those in my box , it's only a couple of minutes old ... I'm musing over the answer .  |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
It maddens me to see this happen. I just can not understand how these idiots think it's acceptable.
Only yesterday I had a reply from a lovely couple saying I wasn't the kind of guy they wanted. My reply was , thanks very much for the reply and good luck with their search.
OP your block button is your friend with these guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
You’re gorgeous.
Don’t listen to anything to the contrary.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No point in getting upset.
But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.
They get in touch or you to them.
They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged
You arrange meet or a time for another chat.
Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."
Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.
Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.
If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.
I go quiet when I'm shutting down mentally, when I'm on the cusp or freefalling into a depression. I don't think that's rude of me, it's me saving my own life."
It's likely a lot of the men who send abusive messages are suffering from severe depression or some other mental illness.
|
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind."
Firstly Lydia, you are an attractive woman
Secondly, some sound advice in this forum which we do also. Reply politely, then block. That way you don’t get any flack from those who are too sad to accept that they are not gods gift, but also removes the risk of someone coming back onto radar at a later date that you are just not interested in. We find it thins the herd as it were. Don’t be afraid of the block button, we are not offended if we are blocked, it simply means that there is one less person for us to waste time on
Stay positive, it is them at fault, not you!
XxX |
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"Things we get a lot of after politely declining:
- why?
- but if I
- age is just a number
- do u actually meet?
- I like driving
If you've been declined what's the point of why? It's not going to change anything, age is a preference, yes we do and your love for travel is not in question "
Hilarious to think that some people feel they can negotiate and change someone’s mind. Simple rule of swinging and you will find this on every clubs etiquette list (probably at number 1). No means no!!
On a separate note, GlossyLegs, you are a very sexy woman! Just had to be said XxX |
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Sorry to see you have had grief from a rejected tosspot, report the abuse and block the immature idiot Lydia he's not worth anymore of your precious time.
It's a sad fact but there are way too many inconsiderate people on here who do not read the profiles of the people they contact. That becomes clear when you get messages from people outside your age/gender request ect, I think the pandemic has made more of these idiots join the site out of boredom and hope when it's gone things will get slightly better.
You are a lovely looking lady that people should be glad to get to know and don't take anything said by these idiots to heart, they are just keyboard warriors and need shooting with a ball of their own shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I've had replies saying thanks but no thanks thats fine everyone is looking for something different (be boring otherwise). I just send a reply saying thanks for letting me know and have fab time.
Anybody who gets upset needs a reality check.
And op don't run yourself down your smile is an absolute knockout |
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I'm an overthinker and it can cut and hurt having a rejection. I get over this by remebering, I have my "life" partner. He picked me forever, warts and all. Plus they don't pay my bills. Not that my life partner dose, we're equal in that.
If we decline someone, for what ever reason, we're polight, then instant block.
Keep your head high, your worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can’t be everyone’s cuppa tea the world would be a boring place. get messages ignored/deleted all the time I’ve never once been rude to that person it’s all fun and games so move on can’t say I won’t send another a few months later to see if they’ve changed there mind some people are addictive |
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By *-man24Man
over a year ago
northwest |
"I wouldn't want to know why. It's asking a question you probably don't want to hear the answer to lol
I've just got one of those in my box , it's only a couple of minutes old ... I'm musing over the answer . "
Just fuckem him off your amazing he’s a cunt and probably the only cunt he will get lol stunning you are x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel for you!
It’s terrible, and it can knock you, I’ve had abuse about my body, my race & I’ve had death/r*pe threats.
All it does it make me more picky, more wary and less likely to give guys a chance who I may have before due to being put off so easily.
People need to understand rejection isn’t personal. |
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"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.
Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?
I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.
Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?
I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...
Be kind.
It’s when I go from “gorgeous” to “fat and ugly” in 30 seconds that makes me laugh haha xx"
Yep... Been there! Hot to ugly c*nt in less than 30 seconds
Dodged a bullet.
Have stopped being polite now and just block. Saves repeated messages x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I honestly didn't think women would get abuse from guys if they get rejected on here. I must have been dumb and very naïve.
What kind of an idiot loser would do that? I hope Fab kick abusers off the site. |
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