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Queen of spades QOS - bbc

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By *ay.81 OP   Man  over a year ago

UK

Who’s a QOS then? I’ve got something amazing planned, gangbangs, threesome, getting the right guy for the lady, can travel and accommodate anywhere - who’s game? Serious females, couples only

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By *e-funcoupleCouple  over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Wife loves big black men and I am sure would enjoy the attention of more than one!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

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By *awandBareWoman  over a year ago

Oxford

I have had several encounters and loved them all. Love how much they deposit in me and how they stretch me out.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows

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By *r TriomanMan  over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

"

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By *oirinMarkusCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands and West London


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

I came here to support Benji. Also, I would love to be a part of the mentioned gangbang but it is implied that this is not for women of my skin tone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows "

And your empirical support for this assumption is?

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS  over a year ago

Belpre

I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows

And your empirical support for this assumption is? "

I was replying to the person I quoted and what he said

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By *hedark_knightMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) . "

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows

And your empirical support for this assumption is?

I was replying to the person I quoted and what he said "

Yes you said that some black guys overlook the phrases in an effort to get their cock wet.

I asked what your empirical evidence was for this assumption?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) . "

Doesn’t matter whether they mean offence or not, the point is it’s viewed by some/many black men as an offensive fetishisation of blackness. It really isn’t that complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/21 18:36:35]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm training

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South

[Removed by poster at 07/04/21 18:33:28]

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) . "

Meh.. racially offensive terminology shouldn’t get you wet.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) . "

..and their net might cast wider if they didn't use questionable language

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/21 18:53:35]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m sure there’s a vast amount of people in the swinging lifestyle that accept racism and allow terms such as QOS or BBC to be common phrases so they can feel better with their fetishisation of people of colour.

Weirdly it seems that black males are more willing to accept these small minded titles as some badge of honour unlike black women who seem more repulsed by labels such as hot chocolate or exotic pussy.

It’s 2021 people, maybe it’s time for racism to be seen as unacceptable in all parts of society.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows

And your empirical support for this assumption is?

I was replying to the person I quoted and what he said

Yes you said that some black guys overlook the phrases in an effort to get their cock wet.

I asked what your empirical evidence was for this assumption? "

Organised/private parties Gangbangs etc attended by 'QOS'/ black men

threads and profiles,

But like you said its just assumption and I also said maybe some don't care about the words used

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

Meh.. racially offensive terminology shouldn’t get you wet. "

Well said!!!!

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS  over a year ago

Belpre

I do understand what your saying, and I do agree, some black gentlemen find it offensive for a woman to use that language. I'm quite sure she would reframe from using that language if the gentleman said he didn't like her speaking that way.

Personally, I've never known any ladies, transgender ladies, or men, that are attracted to black gentlemen, that are actually racist. I can't imagine being attracted to a black gentleman and also being racist against him too, that just doesn't seem possible, at least for me it isn't. When I'm attracted to a man I don't care what color he is, I only care what kind of person he is, that's what matters.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman  over a year ago

South


"I do understand what your saying, and I do agree, some black gentlemen find it offensive for a woman to use that language. I'm quite sure she would reframe from using that language if the gentleman said he didn't like her speaking that way.

Personally, I've never known any ladies, transgender ladies, or men, that are attracted to black gentlemen, that are actually racist. I can't imagine being attracted to a black gentleman and also being racist against him too, that just doesn't seem possible, at least for me it isn't. When I'm attracted to a man I don't care what color he is, I only care what kind of person he is, that's what matters."

So if you’re attracted to them why would you use words that are offensive to a group of people they’re part of? There’s no excuse just stop using the word ..... you can justify the ‘intent’ all you like racism is racism

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware. "

Bam.

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

Doesn’t matter whether they mean offence or not, the point is it’s viewed by some/many black men as an offensive fetishisation of blackness. It really isn’t that complicated. "

Exactly

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By *ain and sortedMan  over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

Well said mate we are now in the 21st century

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"I do understand what your saying, and I do agree, some black gentlemen find it offensive for a woman to use that language. I'm quite sure she would reframe from using that language if the gentleman said he didn't like her speaking that way.

Personally, I've never known any ladies, transgender ladies, or men, that are attracted to black gentlemen, that are actually racist. I can't imagine being attracted to a black gentleman and also being racist against him too, that just doesn't seem possible, at least for me it isn't. When I'm attracted to a man I don't care what color he is, I only care what kind of person he is, that's what matters."

Uhm.. there’s plenty of people who are attracted to black folks who are racist.

Just like there’s plenty of men who are attracted to women and still manage to be sexist and misogynistic.

And tons of men attracted to trans/tv/cd or even men and happen to be transphobic and homophobic.

The world has a lot of nuance.

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By *ain and sortedMan  over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex


"I’m sure there’s a vast amount of people in the swinging lifestyle that accept racism and allow terms such as QOS or BBC to be common phrases so they can feel better with their fetishisation of people of colour.

Weirdly it seems that black males are more willing to accept these small minded titles as some badge of honour unlike black women who seem more repulsed by labels such as hot chocolate or exotic pussy.

It’s 2021 people, maybe it’s time for racism to be seen as unacceptable in all parts of society."

To right it shouldn't exist in 2021, people are people what ever there origins

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/21 19:57:41]

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple  over a year ago

Old Hill

Been an inked QoS for quite a few years. Never been a problem or caused upset outside of internet forums but probably the bulls/guys I meet are into the same fetish.

It's a partnership in terms of accepting it within the context of why we are interacting. Both parties wanting to enjoy the same thrill/fetish. Would note that a QoS is not dominant but subservient to the bull so its not about power.

Lots of otherwise offensive words get used in a sexual context which is fine in the lifestyle. I quite like getting called a slut or a whore in bed but would be very upsetting if called it outside in the street from a stranger.

Never use the word spade or the n word in reference to individuals but have been asked to use them by bulls in a session. Again would expect they wouldn't find it acceptable outside of the room.

Just a view from a otherwise silent minority on the forums.

Sx

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By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton

Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

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By *otwifeandcuckCouple  over a year ago

Blackpool

There was only one way this thread was going.....

Yeah i love a black cock or a few

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive ) "

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"

Just a view from a otherwise silent minority on the forums.

Sx

"

These iffy terms proliferate in this lifestyle and have done for years, the silent minority might be the proud black men these phrases have been universally applied to who are only now starting to describe how they make them feel.

There's nothing controversial about this, a preference can be legitimately and well described without resorting to language that a certain community might find offensive and possibly alienate some members of that community who might make exceptional play partners. Respect everyone

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

"

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics.

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By *lymanMan  over a year ago

PLYMOUTH


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

This exactly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

"

Thought that too lol

Digging a big hole for the usual stuff

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By *ick270Man  over a year ago

Here

2021 o dear someone offended ,by an innocent remark

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

No doubt a lot of the black community find it offensive but if more took your view on the phrase instead of overlooking it just to get their cock wet maybe the phrase would die out like a lot of other offensive words have over time, Or maybe some don't care about some words or that phrase who knows

And your empirical support for this assumption is?

I was replying to the person I quoted and what he said

Yes you said that some black guys overlook the phrases in an effort to get their cock wet.

I asked what your empirical evidence was for this assumption? "

Lol really?

Have you been asleep

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"2021 o dear someone offended ,by an innocent remark "

That’s a novelty

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"2021 o dear someone offended ,by an innocent remark "

Did you read the whole thread? Or just the title and make a comment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics."

Yes you never see much whining about that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Just a view from a otherwise silent minority on the forums.

Sx

These iffy terms proliferate in this lifestyle and have done for years, the silent minority might be the proud black men these phrases have been universally applied to who are only now starting to describe how they make them feel.

There's nothing controversial about this, a preference can be legitimately and well described without resorting to language that a certain community might find offensive and possibly alienate some members of that community who might make exceptional play partners. Respect everyone "

Bit like the usage of BBW, very universally applied but sometimes [I know it’s in the eye of the beholder but] you could be thinking otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games! "

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest.

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By *ick270Man  over a year ago

Here


"2021 o dear someone offended ,by an innocent remark

Did you read the whole thread? Or just the title and make a comment. "

Not heard of sarcastic

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Popping back in again

I understand that there are people from my race who like being called racist terms during play. We will never understand why but it’s not something that I’d ever indulge in. Everyone has their preference at the end of the day.

I just wanted to show that the term spade is not a respectable thing in the black community. Everyone has joined this site for fun , so it should be a place where people of all races should feel comfortable.

On another note...

I’ve never classed myself as a ‘BBC’ I don’t like the term and I’ve only seen it as I browse through my channels

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

P.s I don’t think there needs to be sarcasm on this post. If you don’t respect equality you shouldn’t of even read it.

Queen of spades , I don’t see a queen of any other racial term to other races. Do you get my point ?

I’ve kept it clear and simple to understand

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By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest."

. Blackjack is also known as Pontoon so it’s easy enough for me to say I played Pontoon but saying Queen of Shovels or Ace of Shovels doesn’t quite sound right but for the time been I stick to Ace of Spades or Queen of Spades

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest.. Blackjack is also known as Pontoon so it’s easy enough for me to say I played Pontoon but saying Queen of Shovels or Ace of Shovels doesn’t quite sound right but for the time been I stick to Ace of Spades or Queen of Spades"

It’s about the context in which they’re used not the card game. So does this post amuse you ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's all about context. The amount of messages we get off black men asking if we want their "black cock", "BBC" or their "N***** dick" is surprising (and we love it!). That said we don't personally repeat the N-word.

Obviously all those terms will be offensive to some people, along with terms such as "snow bunny", etc. But again, It's all about context - we would never dream of using those words in everyday life, but when it comes to sex, if both parties are happy to use them in that context then we don't see a problem.

The same can be said for words like "Fat", some people would consider that fat shaming where as others take it as a compliment because big is beautiful - it's all down to context.

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By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest.. Blackjack is also known as Pontoon so it’s easy enough for me to say I played Pontoon but saying Queen of Shovels or Ace of Shovels doesn’t quite sound right but for the time been I stick to Ace of Spades or Queen of Spades

It’s about the context in which they’re used not the card game. So does this post amuse you ?"

. If the word spade is used on Fabs with regards to a username or preference I think that is the person right unless Fabs choose to ban the word.From a personal perspective I wouldn’t use it in my username so from that angle this post does not amuse me.

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By *lixir of lifeMan  over a year ago

knob Creek

Seems fab is way behind anywhere else on social media and society when it comes to equality.

These terms need banning to history ..

Let’s look forward for getting sakes ..

Is it time these terms weren’t acceptable on any forums anymore?

Colour should never determine a person..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"These terms need banning to history. Is it time these terms weren’t acceptable on any forums anymore?

Colour should never determine a person.

"

I don’t think that would be fair. If you do a username search for “BBC” it seems that over 90% of the results are profiles for black males - surely if they are using the term to describe themselves then those individuals should be free to use it. Equally, someone who seeks individuals who use that term to identify themselves should also be free to use it so the two individuals can find each other

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest."

As far as I can see the detracting point of view has been aired in a perfectly civilised way, there's no need to sensationalise the issue to trivialise those contributions or degrade the conversation.

All sides can be heard respectfully, we might learn something we didn't know or fully appreciate.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"These terms need banning to history. Is it time these terms weren’t acceptable on any forums anymore?

Colour should never determine a person.

I don’t think that would be fair. If you do a username search for “BBC” it seems that over 90% of the results are profiles for black males - surely if they are using the term to describe themselves then those individuals should be free to use it. Equally, someone who seeks individuals who use that term to identify themselves should also be free to use it so the two individuals can find each other"

But the problem is the term is used to describe black men universally, in a reductionist way..the discrete difference is it isn't 90% of all black men that describe themselves as such.

Incidentally, I believe individuals should be able to describe themselves as they want, but equally others should be able to comment on those terms generally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware. "

Lol many men refer to themselves as bbc and others when messaging me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference."

Everything can be fetishised: feet, hair colour, nail polish, age, certain Sex toys - It’s not automatically a bad thing.

It’s all about context. There’s a lack of posts complaining about the term “MILF” or the way mothers are viewed. Especially when so many people use the word “taboo” to explain that preference too.

Funny old world isn’t it, but I guess difference in opinion is what keeps it unique

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By *inkywife1981Couple  over a year ago

A town near you

Judging by a lot of the profiles on this site that I've come across a lot of black guys are having great success meeting couples and singles who profess a love for BBC and advertise themselves as Queens of Spades.

I think even some the clubs in England advertise nights that cater for these fetishs and have great success.

All that said I do feel sorry for a lot of black guys as there must be enormous pressure to fit into a stereotype that has been built up by porn

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well this has been an eye opener. My partner and I look at people and personality over anything else, I've heard the term thrown about though and never thought anything of it, but Benji makes some very good points. Every day is a learning day!

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By *hedark_knightMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"It does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference.

Everything can be fetishised: feet, hair colour, nail polish, age, certain Sex toys - It’s not automatically a bad thing.

It’s all about context. There’s a lack of posts complaining about the term “MILF” or the way mothers are viewed. Especially when so many people use the word “taboo” to explain that preference too.

Funny old world isn’t it, but I guess difference in opinion is what keeps it unique"

So many using the word “taboo” in the same sentence after being on here for many years and having conversations is one I’ve never seen. So I’m gonna have to disagree with you on that. Also saying everything can be fetishised dismissed the issue which has been raised.

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By *hedark_knightMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware.

Lol many men refer to themselves as bbc and others when messaging me "

I’m not disagreeing with you or saying it’s wrong or right. My point still stands to the question of why that is and the history behind why that is.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Judging by a lot of the profiles on this site that I've come across a lot of black guys are having great success meeting couples and singles who profess a love for BBC and advertise themselves as Queens of Spades.

I think even some the clubs in England advertise nights that cater for these fetishs and have great success.

All that said I do feel sorry for a lot of black guys as there must be enormous pressure to fit into a stereotype that has been built up by porn

"

On a wider note a few black men and white women who rely on these racial clichés aren't going to influence social change one way or another, but it's interesting how these terms are still seen as acceptable even in supposed enlightened times, it is 2021 after all, not 1961.

Yes, a few black men play into these stereotypes for reasons that are obvious, but a majority don't and we're starting at last to hear their voices, they don't want to be conflated together with the BBC Brigade, or those who think a white woman sporting a QoS tattoo is being complimentary.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Well this has been an eye opener. My partner and I look at people and personality over anything else, I've heard the term thrown about though and never thought anything of it, but Benji makes some very good points. Every day is a learning day! "

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By *lixir of lifeMan  over a year ago

knob Creek


"Judging by a lot of the profiles on this site that I've come across a lot of black guys are having great success meeting couples and singles who profess a love for BBC and advertise themselves as Queens of Spades.

I think even some the clubs in England advertise nights that cater for these fetishs and have great success.

All that said I do feel sorry for a lot of black guys as there must be enormous pressure to fit into a stereotype that has been built up by porn

On a wider note a few black men and white women who rely on these racial clichés aren't going to influence social change one way or another, but it's interesting how these terms are still seen as acceptable even in supposed enlightened times, it is 2021 after all, not 1961.

Yes, a few black men play into these stereotypes for reasons that are obvious, but a majority don't and we're starting at last to hear their voices, they don't want to be conflated together with the BBC Brigade, or those who think a white woman sporting a QoS tattoo is being complimentary."

Exactly

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"

Just a view from a otherwise silent minority on the forums.

Sx

These iffy terms proliferate in this lifestyle and have done for years, the silent minority might be the proud black men these phrases have been universally applied to who are only now starting to describe how they make them feel.

There's nothing controversial about this, a preference can be legitimately and well described without resorting to language that a certain community might find offensive and possibly alienate some members of that community who might make exceptional play partners. Respect everyone

Bit like the usage of BBW, very universally applied but sometimes [I know it’s in the eye of the beholder but] you could be thinking otherwise."

Although I personally believe such basic acronyms aren't that helpful, there's a subtle difference-at least BBW acknowledges the subject is a human being..Big Beautiful Woman, BBC (Big Black Cock) does not.

As a woman and feminist, I'd be unhappy if a stereotype of white women existed amongst black men whereby the vernacular to describe us was BWC..Big White Cunt.

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By *ick270Man  over a year ago

Here

I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?"

Few have said it is racist, but as an analogy someone 'innocently' pissing on the Cenotaph would be rounded on, and reminded of its context and historical significance, it's not just a piece of stone.

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus

I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?"

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

Agree, my partner of choice has always been black

but I find the fetishing offensive

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

"

So black guys promoting themselves as BBC will be barred from the sight too?

M

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark"

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji

Agree, my partner of choice has always been black

but I find the fetishing offensive "

also the whole QOS is so trashy in my opinion, if you like black dick so much why aren’t you with a black man?

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

So black guys promoting themselves as BBC will be barred from the sight too?

M"

Some people like to having boxing matches. That doesn't mean it's OK to just go up to anyone and punch them.

So guys can refer to themselves as BBC if they want to, but it's inconsiderate to apply unwanted labels to people.

I can tell you're not good at context, but it's slightly more complicated than a term just being universally inappropriate.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Judging by a lot of the profiles on this site that I've come across a lot of black guys are having great success meeting couples and singles who profess a love for BBC and advertise themselves as Queens of Spades.

I think even some the clubs in England advertise nights that cater for these fetishs and have great success.

All that said I do feel sorry for a lot of black guys as there must be enormous pressure to fit into a stereotype that has been built up by porn

"

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark"

The world's going mad because a community of people are airing their opinions?

If that's mad, the world should have been sectioned a long time ago!

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now "

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

So black guys promoting themselves as BBC will be barred from the sight too?

M"

Has anyone said black men referring to themselves as BBC, should be barred from the site?

Sensational language isn't helping you make your point, if you have one.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

"

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

So black guys promoting themselves as BBC will be barred from the sight too?

M

Has anyone said black men referring to themselves as BBC, should be barred from the site?

Sensational language isn't helping you make your point, if you have one."

Earlier someone said that it’s time these phrases were banned. My point is that it should cut both ways. You can’t have one person advertising themselves as BBC but criticise someone else for using it as a generalisation.

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege."

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

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By *ick270Man  over a year ago

Here

can this be shut now, it didn't mean anything ?

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

"

I don't doubt it, so are the people whose views you're describing as 'irrelevant'.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics.nah im from yorkshire and still use that phrase same as the word nigger I have a friend called nigel nick name is nigger as been for 45 yrs and will still call it him "

..and others are still wondering why there's a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics.nah im from yorkshire and still use that phrase same as the word nigger I have a friend called nigel nick name is nigger as been for 45 yrs and will still call it him

..and others are still wondering why there's a problem. "

why is it a problem obviously if he was next to a person of color I'd not say it as I understand it can be offensive to some same as when in the garden I ask for the spade not that thing that takes soil out context

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I do understand what your saying, and I do agree, some black gentlemen find it offensive for a woman to use that language. I'm quite sure she would reframe from using that language if the gentleman said he didn't like her speaking that way.

Personally, I've never known any ladies, transgender ladies, or men, that are attracted to black gentlemen, that are actually racist. I can't imagine being attracted to a black gentleman and also being racist against him too, that just doesn't seem possible, at least for me it isn't. When I'm attracted to a man I don't care what color he is, I only care what kind of person he is, that's what matters."

Really? Maybe you haven’t been paying enough attention.

Tell that to the traders who participated in the transatlantic atrocities in America, UK and the Caribbean, who regularly sexually abused, and in some cases had relationships with, and had kids with the enslafed peoples. Being attracted to black people doesn’t immunize white people from racism. Speak to some mixed people and they will tell you of their experiences of their white parent being racist towards them or their ex-partner, who happens to be non-white, in front of them.

A black person should not have to educate a white person on what is offensive in this day and age whereby there is so much information at our finger-tips. They shouldn’t have to actually use offensive language and wait to be corrected by black people, before they stop using it.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I dont think OP meant it as a racist thing ,just an innocent question, cant it been seen as that ?

Good intentions don't magically make everything OK.

Why is it so hard for people to see a black man saying 'this is offensive to me' and respond 'ah, OK, I'll be more careful about using this term in public in future'?

It's the smallest amount of effort to make people feel welcome.

You can still use any terms you want when having private conversations.

So black guys promoting themselves as BBC will be barred from the sight too?

M

Has anyone said black men referring to themselves as BBC, should be barred from the site?

Sensational language isn't helping you make your point, if you have one.

Earlier someone said that it’s time these phrases were banned. My point is that it should cut both ways. You can’t have one person advertising themselves as BBC but criticise someone else for using it as a generalisation."

The term is very problematic and stems from race fetishisation. And anyone using it, black or otherwise. Is wrong for using it. So just because some black people, with lack of self-awareness, use it doesn’t mean it is OK for others to use it.

If I see someone doing a bad thing to themselves or others, it’s doesn’t mean that it is OK for me to do it to others too. What should drive how you react is why any act/term is bad or offensive, and not who is doing it or not.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

"

Classic example of somehow not understanding white privilege or understanding it and pretending they don’t.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I’m sure there’s a vast amount of people in the swinging lifestyle that accept racism and allow terms such as QOS or BBC to be common phrases so they can feel better with their fetishisation of people of colour.

Weirdly it seems that black males are more willing to accept these small minded titles as some badge of honour unlike black women who seem more repulsed by labels such as hot chocolate or exotic pussy.

It’s 2021 people, maybe it’s time for racism to be seen as unacceptable in all parts of society."

You had me during the first paragraph of your post and then you lost me, sorry

What you mean to say is “some” black males are willing to degrade themselves just to get their leg over. Don’t just say black males as it implies ALL, and you certainly don’t know that.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

Doesn’t matter whether they mean offence or not, the point is it’s viewed by some/many black men as an offensive fetishisation of blackness. It really isn’t that complicated. "

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By *uke olovingmanMan  over a year ago

Gravesend

Surely in the following hurly burly ...has it been overlooked that the op was only looking to meet with people who are into BBC?

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics.nah im from yorkshire and still use that phrase same as the word nigger I have a friend called nigel nick name is nigger as been for 45 yrs and will still call it him

..and others are still wondering why there's a problem. why is it a problem obviously if he was next to a person of color I'd not say it as I understand it can be offensive to some same as when in the garden I ask for the spade not that thing that takes soil out context "

Who doesn't go to a garden centre to buy a device that digs soil and ask for a spade?! It's not a problem.... however! The spade in Queen of Spades, isn't referring to a device that digs soil, it's using a racist epithet to describe women who enjoy sexual liaisons with black men, who endured the derogatory use of the word!

Btw being a blunt Yorkshireman have you ever considered how your friend Nigel feels about the nickname you use to describe him? Do you care?

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"

Just a view from a otherwise silent minority on the forums.

Sx

These iffy terms proliferate in this lifestyle and have done for years, the silent minority might be the proud black men these phrases have been universally applied to who are only now starting to describe how they make them feel.

There's nothing controversial about this, a preference can be legitimately and well described without resorting to language that a certain community might find offensive and possibly alienate some members of that community who might make exceptional play partners. Respect everyone "

Well said!! Thank you.

What is so difficult about hearing that a word is offensive to the people it is being directed towards and stopping it? How does it add any value to anyone’s life to insist or continue to use it? The only reason why anyone would defend the reason for using it - being secretly prejudiced.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"To me the word “spade” is the same as the N word. And it’s used by racists in the same way, and people have called me it in the same context that they’d use any other racial slur.

It shouldn’t be used or defended.

Would these same women be comfortable calling themselves “The queen of N-word’s ”?

As a Yorkshire man "calling a spade a spade " is nothing to do with race . But i can't use the phrase now due to the increasing americanisation of our language .

But back on topic , i am amazed that the term BBC is allowed on the forums on this day and age . The number of profiles must run to the hundreds that state BBC only or prefered. Its the first thing i scan a profile for after age , as it's that common.

Not heard of QOS before but seen enough ace of spade tatoos on profile pics.nah im from yorkshire and still use that phrase same as the word nigger I have a friend called nigel nick name is nigger as been for 45 yrs and will still call it him

..and others are still wondering why there's a problem. why is it a problem obviously if he was next to a person of color I'd not say it as I understand it can be offensive to some same as when in the garden I ask for the spade not that thing that takes soil out context

Who doesn't go to a garden centre to buy a device that digs soil and ask for a spade?! It's not a problem.... however! The spade in Queen of Spades, isn't referring to a device that digs soil, it's using a racist epithet to describe women who enjoy sexual liaisons with black men, who endured the derogatory use of the word!

Btw being a blunt Yorkshireman have you ever considered how your friend Nigel feels about the nickname you use to describe him? Do you care?yes and he introduces himself as it even when he starts a new job he says high im nigger

"

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By *ustyshowoffCouple  over a year ago

Cyprus


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

Classic example of somehow not understanding white privilege or understanding it and pretending they don’t. "

Oh I understand it and I don’t pretend not to, I just don’t have a problem with it.

Most of the stuff you moan about happened before any of us were born, different times, different people.

Should white people be ashamed? No

Should we apologise? No it wasn’t us that did those things.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"These terms need banning to history. Is it time these terms weren’t acceptable on any forums anymore?

Colour should never determine a person.

I don’t think that would be fair. If you do a username search for “BBC” it seems that over 90% of the results are profiles for black males - surely if they are using the term to describe themselves then those individuals should be free to use it. Equally, someone who seeks individuals who use that term to identify themselves should also be free to use it so the two individuals can find each other"

Would you say the same if a bunch of nazis were describing themselves as such on here?

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I’m sure there’s a vast amount of people in the swinging lifestyle that accept racism and allow terms such as QOS or BBC to be common phrases so they can feel better with their fetishisation of people of colour.

Weirdly it seems that black males are more willing to accept these small minded titles as some badge of honour unlike black women who seem more repulsed by labels such as hot chocolate or exotic pussy.

It’s 2021 people, maybe it’s time for racism to be seen as unacceptable in all parts of society.

You had me during the first paragraph of your post and then you lost me, sorry

What you mean to say is “some” black males are willing to degrade themselves just to get their leg over. Don’t just say black males as it implies ALL, and you certainly don’t know that."

Imagine these posters having no understanding or appreciation of the nuances and differences which exist in the indigenous culture.

Catholics and Protestants have been at odds for years, Celtic fans can't sit in the same room as Rangers fans, imagine a black man saying they were all the same or their differences were irrelevant.

Notwithstanding the fact of course that there are black Catholics, Protestants, Rangers and Celtic fans.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I’m sure there’s a vast amount of people in the swinging lifestyle that accept racism and allow terms such as QOS or BBC to be common phrases so they can feel better with their fetishisation of people of colour.

Weirdly it seems that black males are more willing to accept these small minded titles as some badge of honour unlike black women who seem more repulsed by labels such as hot chocolate or exotic pussy.

It’s 2021 people, maybe it’s time for racism to be seen as unacceptable in all parts of society.

You had me during the first paragraph of your post and then you lost me, sorry

What you mean to say is “some” black males are willing to degrade themselves just to get their leg over. Don’t just say black males as it implies ALL, and you certainly don’t know that.

Imagine these posters having no understanding or appreciation of the nuances and differences which exist in the indigenous culture.

Catholics and Protestants have been at odds for years, Celtic fans can't sit in the same room as Rangers fans, imagine a black man saying they were all the same or their differences were irrelevant.

Notwithstanding the fact of course that there are black Catholics, Protestants, Rangers and Celtic fans."

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

Classic example of somehow not understanding white privilege or understanding it and pretending they don’t.

Oh I understand it and I don’t pretend not to, I just don’t have a problem with it.

Most of the stuff you moan about happened before any of us were born, different times, different people.

Should white people be ashamed? No

Should we apologise? No it wasn’t us that did those things."

If you understand white privileged, you wouldn’t say “everything I have I worked hard for”, cos white privilege is not about the result of your individual hard work.

It’s the fact that with all the problems we all face, you have the privilege of not having to contend with extra problems because of your skin colour. If you know the meaning as you claim to, you will know of all the studies that point to the fact that society grants you privileges as a white person, especially male, from the moment you are born.

Yeah, a lot happened in the past that has impact today - an example being what happened last year in the US, what happened to Steven Lawrence. The very source of the wealth the global north enjoys today is based on the exploitation and resources of others using race ideology. Whilst you didn’t perpetrate this yourself, you benefit from the ill-gotten gains today, whether you like it or not.

Bet you celebrate the First World War victories and losses by wearing a poppy even though it happened in the past so that it serves as a reminder. But somehow the transatlantic trade, which is a blot on the conscience, should be conveniently forgotten? Nah.

And no one is asking you individually to apologize, but our governments have to acknowledge and apologise and make amends.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark

It's not the mere existence of the phrase that is the problem. It's the phrase being applied to refer to black people. A pack of cards doesn't do that.

Hopefully you're less confused now

There was never any confusion, I fully understand that that some people have a need to see themselves as hard done by and as victims.

My reference to the pack of cards was sarcasm if you’ve ever heard of that.

With some of the stuff going on in the world this shit is irrelevant

It may be irrelevant to you, but it isn't to others, it's the 'shit' that's been going on in their lives for centuries.

Your post is a classic example of white privilege.

Any privilege I have I worked for it wasn’t given and I’m proud of our history and heritage.

Classic example of somehow not understanding white privilege or understanding it and pretending they don’t.

Oh I understand it and I don’t pretend not to, I just don’t have a problem with it.

Most of the stuff you moan about happened before any of us were born, different times, different people.

Should white people be ashamed? No

Should we apologise? No it wasn’t us that did those things.

If you understand white privileged, you wouldn’t say “everything I have I worked hard for”, cos white privilege is not about the result of your individual hard work.

It’s the fact that with all the problems we all face, you have the privilege of not having to contend with extra problems because of your skin colour. If you know the meaning as you claim to, you will know of all the studies that point to the fact that society grants you privileges as a white person, especially male, from the moment you are born.

Yeah, a lot happened in the past that has impact today - an example being what happened last year in the US, what happened to Steven Lawrence. The very source of the wealth the global north enjoys today is based on the exploitation and resources of others using race ideology. Whilst you didn’t perpetrate this yourself, you benefit from the ill-gotten gains today, whether you like it or not.

Bet you celebrate the First World War victories and losses by wearing a poppy even though it happened in the past so that it serves as a reminder. But somehow the transatlantic trade, which is a blot on the conscience, should be conveniently forgotten? Nah.

And no one is asking you individually to apologize, but our governments have to acknowledge and apologise and make amends.i don't see why this government should apologize and make mends as surly they wasn't responsible for past government actions same as germany france belgium holland spain it's in the past but things the were acceptable then shouldn't be now I agree.

"

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By *ny1localMan  over a year ago

READING

A lot of the various terminology (I do say a lot, not all) that's considered offensive is about the way it's phrased. Sadly in this day and age, there's too many people looking to take offence, either for themselves, or much more likely on behalf of others, in order to make themselves look good.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Perhaps Fabs owners should consider banning anyone who wants to use user names that include BBC , Ace of Spades or Queen of Spade if they cause that much offensive.Some people will use these names to get more meets others will be to offend / embarrassed to use them in their username or profile.As far as I am concerned if someone says to me last night I had the Queen of Spades or the Ace of Spades I would think they were playing poker or black jack ( black jack another name that could be viewed as offensive )

It isn't the terms that are offensive it's the context in which they're used.

The Queen of Spades and Black Jack aren't endangered species in card games!

It’s probably only a matter of time before they are banned or publicly burned in some protest.. Blackjack is also known as Pontoon so it’s easy enough for me to say I played Pontoon but saying Queen of Shovels or Ace of Shovels doesn’t quite sound right but for the time been I stick to Ace of Spades or Queen of Spades"

But a shovel is not a spade, you have to call it a spade or perhaps a manual single manned digging tool or similar.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A lot of the various terminology (I do say a lot, not all) that's considered offensive is about the way it's phrased. Sadly in this day and age, there's too many people looking to take offence, either for themselves, or much more likely on behalf of others, in order to make themselves look good. "

It’s the ‘behalf of others’ that is the most bizarre and just plain ridiculous in a number of cases

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A lot of the various terminology (I do say a lot, not all) that's considered offensive is about the way it's phrased. Sadly in this day and age, there's too many people looking to take offence, either for themselves, or much more likely on behalf of others, in order to make themselves look good. "

It’s the ‘behalf of others’ that is the most bizarre and just plain ridiculous in a number of cases, agreeably not all

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK

I can never understand why there are so many white people on these threads arguing the point.

A significant proportion of black men and black women have been very clear that these phrases are offensive to them. We need to listen to what they are saying and stop using them.

If a certain percentage want to use them to empower themselves I’m all for it. Taking back control is an awesome way to switch the power play.

There is NOTHING wrong with a preference for black men and there’s NOTHING wrong with a preference for men who are well endowed. But why not just call them VWE black men? Want to host a party along these lines? Call it a Black Man’s Fan Club (BMFC) party!

We need to stop fetishising black men and dehumanising them. Not all black men have a big dick and those that do... it’s just 1 small (ahem - pun intended!) aspect of them as a person.

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By *rispyDuckMan  over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Just passing by for educational purposes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is interesting. I lived in Edinburgh for over 2 years while on contract. Took my Glasgow team out for a few drinks and got cornered in a pub because I'd asked a female member "what you drinking hun?"

Common Welsh phrase, but apparently not the thing to say in a Glasgow pub.

Depends on the context I suppose, but when it comes to race can we all just agree that we're the human race? Maybe I'm just idealistic, I don't know.

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By *LUKCouple  over a year ago

Loughborough

If there is anyone left out there that doesn't think the word spade is offensive, pop into a pub full of black people (when permitted of course) and call them a spade. You'll definitely have a definitive answer then

I can't believe it's 2021 and we're still having this discussion. Bonkers.

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By *lixir of lifeMan  over a year ago

knob Creek

Please Fab ..

Can we move on from these racist terms ..

Racism really offends .. that goes for positive racism too..

We’re all people and all equal..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I love fucking black guys and husband loves to watch me get fucked by there big black cocks

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By *laymateteeMan  over a year ago

Southampton


"I can never understand why there are so many white people on these threads arguing the point.

A significant proportion of black men and black women have been very clear that these phrases are offensive to them. We need to listen to what they are saying and stop using them.

If a certain percentage want to use them to empower themselves I’m all for it. Taking back control is an awesome way to switch the power play.

There is NOTHING wrong with a preference for black men and there’s NOTHING wrong with a preference for men who are well endowed. But why not just call them VWE black men? Want to host a party along these lines? Call it a Black Man’s Fan Club (BMFC) party!

We need to stop fetishising black men and dehumanising them. Not all black men have a big dick and those that do... it’s just 1 small (ahem - pun intended!) aspect of them as a person. "

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By *laymateteeMan  over a year ago

Southampton


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

I'm with you Benji

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By *laymateteeMan  over a year ago

Southampton


"I guess we need to start a protest group now to get her banned from a deck of cards !!!

The world is going mad

Mark"

Really???

Some people have referred to us as monkeys coz they're racist . That doesn't mean that monkeys should be removed from this planet so.that we don't get offended. It's all about how some people use certain things that already exist to insult others.

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By *laymateteeMan  over a year ago

Southampton


"A lot of the various terminology (I do say a lot, not all) that's considered offensive is about the way it's phrased. Sadly in this day and age, there's too many people looking to take offence, either for themselves, or much more likely on behalf of others, in order to make themselves look good. "

So when we take offence to racist terms we do it to make ourselves look good. This is the problem ,people who've never experienced racism in their lives think write such comments

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By *evaquitCouple  over a year ago

Catthorpe

What makes me laugh about these threads and always absent in their numbers is the amount of people ready to express their disapproval of such terms but moreso the black man who actually don't care or are offended by such terms. There's been loads of QOS parties and the black guys who attend don't care, actually in our experience they're actually appreciative of the women who have these tattoos. It's only ever here on this forum that I see such disapproval. It's fantasy and at the parties all seem to get this, in the real world I very much doubt any of those who attend would approve of it, they're able to differentiate the swinging world from the real world, no one here has their real names on display which acknowledges that differentiation.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Quite often you see people defending profiles where they are looking for black only or white only saying its their preference.

To me this is judging people on the colour of their skin and inherently has some basis in racism.

Maybe its because to me attraction is more than looks you could look stunning and have a attitude that stinks or be quite ordinary but be a top class person.

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By *laymateteeMan  over a year ago

Southampton


"Quite often you see people defending profiles where they are looking for black only or white only saying its their preference.

To me this is judging people on the colour of their skin and inherently has some basis in racism.

Maybe its because to me attraction is more than looks you could look stunning and have a attitude that stinks or be quite ordinary but be a top class person."

Having a preference in who you meet or are attracted to is not racist. If I choose to say I only play with Chinese woman ,who am I being racist towards? Don't mistake preference for racism

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you are seeking out black men for sexual encounters, you should also care about not using racist language towards them. Surely that's the bare f*cking minimum decency?

And no, it doesn't matter whether you find it personally offensive or see the problem with it. Especially if you're white.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just a quick note

Would it be ok for someone to write “no spades, just my preference” on their profile when referring to black men ?

I think that would cause uproar and rightly so. But to some the term spade is ok when claiming to be the queen of black men.

The term is either acceptable or it isn’t. If it is offensive to anyone, then surely it isn’t an acceptable term, no matter what context it is used in.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Quite often you see people defending profiles where they are looking for black only or white only saying its their preference.

To me this is judging people on the colour of their skin and inherently has some basis in racism.

Maybe its because to me attraction is more than looks you could look stunning and have a attitude that stinks or be quite ordinary but be a top class person.

Having a preference in who you meet or are attracted to is not racist. If I choose to say I only play with Chinese woman ,who am I being racist towards? Don't mistake preference for racism "

The basis of racism is treating people differently due to their race. Positive or negative if your sole reason is their race its racism.

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"Quite often you see people defending profiles where they are looking for black only or white only saying its their preference.

To me this is judging people on the colour of their skin and inherently has some basis in racism.

Maybe its because to me attraction is more than looks you could look stunning and have a attitude that stinks or be quite ordinary but be a top class person.

Having a preference in who you meet or are attracted to is not racist. If I choose to say I only play with Chinese woman ,who am I being racist towards? Don't mistake preference for racism

The basis of racism is treating people differently due to their race. Positive or negative if your sole reason is their race its racism."

By your argument, being heterosexual or gay is sexism via discrimination against a person due to their sex / gender.

There’s nothing wrong with sexual preferences. What isn’t ok is using outdated racist language to communicate them.

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By *inkywife1981Couple  over a year ago

A town near you

At the end of the day a lot of white people are gonna have the BBC fantasy/fetish and even consider themselves "Queens of spades" and a lot of consenting adult black guys are gonna be happy to entertain them for their own personal gratification.

Mutually beneficial and they all live to tell the tale.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the end of the day a lot of white people are gonna have the BBC fantasy/fetish and even consider themselves "Queens of spades" and a lot of consenting adult black guys are gonna be happy to entertain them for their own personal gratification.

Mutually beneficial and they all live to tell the tale."

But why can you not enjoy interracial sex without all the stupid labels attached to it? I think thats what people are getting at. Yeah some black will play up to the bbc thing but it gets them what they want. Bit manipulative really imho.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware. "

It’s a fair point ... but i have said things will only ever change if there is a consequence to the actions... in this case if people stopped getting meets because of it they would change the language that is used to express the preference

So things will only ever change is if black guys stopped thinking with their cocks and actually express distain, or when black guys stopping seeing it as some sort of unique selling point to others to get their leg over....

One doesn’t work without the either..... it’s basically a catch 22 with no one prepared to try and break the cycle!

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware.

It’s a fair point ... but i have said things will only ever change if there is a consequence to the actions... in this case if people stopped getting meets because of it they would change the language that is used to express the preference

So things will only ever change is if black guys stopped thinking with their cocks and actually express distain, or when black guys stopping seeing it as some sort of unique selling point to others to get their leg over....

One doesn’t work without the either..... it’s basically a catch 22 with no one prepared to try and break the cycle!"

It might help if fab would ban the use of BBC for instance. At least a step in the right direction...

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By *aturing bullMan  over a year ago

TOOTING


"What makes me laugh about these threads and always absent in their numbers is the amount of people ready to express their disapproval of such terms but moreso the black man who actually don't care or are offended by such terms. There's been loads of QOS parties and the black guys who attend don't care, actually in our experience they're actually appreciative of the women who have these tattoos. It's only ever here on this forum that I see such disapproval. It's fantasy and at the parties all seem to get this, in the real world I very much doubt any of those who attend would approve of it, they're able to differentiate the swinging world from the real world, no one here has their real names on display which acknowledges that differentiation. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

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By *aturing bullMan  over a year ago

TOOTING


"What makes me laugh about these threads and always absent in their numbers is the amount of people ready to express their disapproval of such terms but moreso the black man who actually don't care or are offended by such terms. There's been loads of QOS parties and the black guys who attend don't care, actually in our experience they're actually appreciative of the women who have these tattoos. It's only ever here on this forum that I see such disapproval. It's fantasy and at the parties all seem to get this, in the real world I very much doubt any of those who attend would approve of it, they're able to differentiate the swinging world from the real world, no one here has their real names on display which acknowledges that differentiation. "

Sorry my last message would have been confusing-I fully support that post !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the wife loves big black guys

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves)."

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word .

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By *F JonesMan  over a year ago

London


"Just popping in to say the term spade is offensive to the black community.

Black men as a preference is fine but spade is a no go.

Benji "

100%

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word . "

Do you think all black people are rappers?

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By *inkywife1981Couple  over a year ago

A town near you


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware.

It’s a fair point ... but i have said things will only ever change if there is a consequence to the actions... in this case if people stopped getting meets because of it they would change the language that is used to express the preference

So things will only ever change is if black guys stopped thinking with their cocks and actually express distain, or when black guys stopping seeing it as some sort of unique selling point to others to get their leg over....

One doesn’t work without the either..... it’s basically a catch 22 with no one prepared to try and break the cycle!"

If black guys or any guy for that matter stopped thinking with their cocks then they wouldn't be bothering with this site

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I really don't think any woman out there means any offense what so ever by saying they are a QOS, or using any of the QOS symbols.

It's purely a sexual preference that really excites them, and they want to let black gentleman know their strong sexual desire for them ; ) .

On the surface yes. But it does then bring up to question of fetishisation and the way black men are viewed. Especially when I’ve seen so many people use the word “taboo” to explain their preference. These days I’m all for do whatever you want, but I think it’s also important for people to at least be aware. "

Agreed, good response. I've always cringed at the QoS thing.

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word .

Do you think all black people are rappers?"

Obviously not. But it happens a lot in rap music .. Its the use of the word we are discussing isn't it ? Not stereotypes...

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word .

Do you think all black people are rappers?

Obviously not. But it happens a lot in rap music .. Its the use of the word we are discussing isn't it ? Not stereotypes..."

I’m not sure what point you are trying to prove? Reclaiming a word on their own terms doesn’t give anyone else the right to use it to describe them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word .

Do you think all black people are rappers?

Obviously not. But it happens a lot in rap music .. Its the use of the word we are discussing isn't it ? Not stereotypes..."

Exactly so why did you mention the stereotype of a rap video when I was talking about black men? Now stop trying to justify using racist words. Thanks.

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By *ands09Couple  over a year ago

West London

Oh this ****ing PC brigade force their ass everywhere .. I thought Fab is immune from this nonsense. When did preference become “ racism”.. in the past few rejected us because their preference is to play with black or white couples/singles - that’s didn’t offend us at all (only complaint is that wish they mentioned that on their profile, would have save us some the time from contacting them)... anyway that doesn’t make them a racist.. Infact my preference is white and black guys with thick cock and I tend to avoid playing with Asian men - that’s my bloody choice and I am a Asian and I am not racist and I don’t give a f*^*% if anyone thinks I am.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman  over a year ago

LEEDS

Very out dated and offensive term used thier OP.

Let's stop fetishizing men just because of the colour of thier skin please

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist? "

seriously? are you that ignorant?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Very out dated and offensive term used thier OP.

Let's stop fetishizing men just because of the colour of thier skin please"

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist? "

Spade is a racial slur - I think it’s more or less common in specific areas, but it arose due to the implication someone could be as “black as the ace of spades”.

I’d never heard of the concept of Queen of Spades until joining the lifestyle, but it’s used by some to indicate a preference for black men. For obvious reasons, it’s use is a often considered offensive.

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Except in rap videos ... well , the N word .

Do you think all black people are rappers?

Obviously not. But it happens a lot in rap music .. Its the use of the word we are discussing isn't it ? Not stereotypes...

Exactly so why did you mention the stereotype of a rap video when I was talking about black men? Now stop trying to justify using racist words. Thanks. "

I certainly not justifying it at all try reading the thread fully. Im against the use of the N word as well as BBC etc . Stop twisting my word's to appear oh so virtuous.

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman  over a year ago

LEEDS


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist? "

Think about it for a minute and you might understand

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? "

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant.

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? "

it is an American slur originally and i haven't heard it spoke in the uk myself for many years. There are a lot of racist words used around the world that people might not be that familiar with.

An example might be "slope" that was said on top gear some years ago. I honestly had to Google it when i heard the commotion it caused.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

Spade is a racial slur - I think it’s more or less common in specific areas, but it arose due to the implication someone could be as “black as the ace of spades”.

I’d never heard of the concept of Queen of Spades until joining the lifestyle, but it’s used by some to indicate a preference for black men. For obvious reasons, it’s use is a often considered offensive. "

Thank you for explaining. I had literally never heard it being used as a term in general before, which is why I asked.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Oh this ****ing PC brigade force their ass everywhere .. I thought Fab is immune from this nonsense. When did preference become “ racism”.. in the past few rejected us because their preference is to play with black or white couples/singles - that’s didn’t offend us at all (only complaint is that wish they mentioned that on their profile, would have save us some the time from contacting them)... anyway that doesn’t make them a racist.. Infact my preference is white and black guys with thick cock and I tend to avoid playing with Asian men - that’s my bloody choice and I am a Asian and I am not racist and I don’t give a f*^*% if anyone thinks I am. "

Bravo, such a succinct & erudite contribution..not.

Others are trying to have a grown, nuanced up conversation, yet you're restricting it to sensational and binary sentiments.

The term 'spade' when used to describe black people is racist, that is indisputable and has historically been used to abuse black people.

The fact the porn industry have seized it to create a catchy slogan doesn't make it any less so.

It doesn't necessarily follow that people who use the term are racist or should be denied a preference, nobody's saying that but it's perfectly reasonable that people can comment on it and not shouted down..especially if they're affected by it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? it is an American slur originally and i haven't heard it spoke in the uk myself for many years. There are a lot of racist words used around the world that people might not be that familiar with.

An example might be "slope" that was said on top gear some years ago. I honestly had to Google it when i heard the commotion it caused."

You haven’t heard it in years? lol

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By *acial giverMan  over a year ago

hull

Snowflakes alert

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? it is an American slur originally and i haven't heard it spoke in the uk myself for many years. There are a lot of racist words used around the world that people might not be that familiar with.

An example might be "slope" that was said on top gear some years ago. I honestly had to Google it when i heard the commotion it caused.

You haven’t heard it in years? lol "

No i haven't. Of all the racist terms or words out there , of which im not denying exist btw , i haven't heard it spoke for years.

Why don't you believe me ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant. "

lol whatever love

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"Snowflakes alert"

If making a stand against casual racism makes me a snowflake just call me Elsa

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh this ****ing PC brigade force their ass everywhere .. I thought Fab is immune from this nonsense. When did preference become “ racism”.. in the past few rejected us because their preference is to play with black or white couples/singles - that’s didn’t offend us at all (only complaint is that wish they mentioned that on their profile, would have save us some the time from contacting them)... anyway that doesn’t make them a racist.. Infact my preference is white and black guys with thick cock and I tend to avoid playing with Asian men - that’s my bloody choice and I am a Asian and I am not racist and I don’t give a f*^*% if anyone thinks I am. "

PC brigade force...

I don’t quite get the point you’re trying to explain

Preference isn’t racist , I just wanted to let people know that the term spade is offensive.

Plus I think it’s good that it been mentioned as quite a few people didn’t even know the meaning of it.

People should be able to express their points without coming across aggressive.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I feel we should all educate each other.

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By *oan of DArcCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Snowflakes alert

If making a stand against casual racism makes me a snowflake just call me Elsa "

Hear, hear twinkle #elsa

It's good the bigots are outing themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? it is an American slur originally and i haven't heard it spoke in the uk myself for many years. There are a lot of racist words used around the world that people might not be that familiar with.

An example might be "slope" that was said on top gear some years ago. I honestly had to Google it when i heard the commotion it caused.

You haven’t heard it in years? lol

No i haven't. Of all the racist terms or words out there , of which im not denying exist btw , i haven't heard it spoke for years.

Why don't you believe me ?"

I do believe you. I’m laughing because why would *you* hear it? I got called it just two weeks ago

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By *os19Man  over a year ago

Edmonton


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

Spade is a racial slur - I think it’s more or less common in specific areas, but it arose due to the implication someone could be as “black as the ace of spades”.

I’d never heard of the concept of Queen of Spades until joining the lifestyle, but it’s used by some to indicate a preference for black men. For obvious reasons, it’s use is a often considered offensive.

Thank you for explaining. I had literally never heard it being used as a term in general before, which is why I asked. "

. Amber58 I believe you when you say you didn’t know that a spade can be viewed as a racist word as you are quite young compared to me who grew up listening to it at school and even used on television programs like Minder.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pay the blank accounts no mind , they’re just trying to interrupt the flow of the post.

I’ll never understand why some people choose to be toxic rather than be happy.

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By *lansmanMan  over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant? it is an American slur originally and i haven't heard it spoke in the uk myself for many years. There are a lot of racist words used around the world that people might not be that familiar with.

An example might be "slope" that was said on top gear some years ago. I honestly had to Google it when i heard the commotion it caused.

You haven’t heard it in years? lol

No i haven't. Of all the racist terms or words out there , of which im not denying exist btw , i haven't heard it spoke for years.

Why don't you believe me ?

I do believe you. I’m laughing because why would *you* hear it? I got called it just two weeks ago"

Ok , so yes as a white guy i wouldn't get called it . But do you think racist terms aren't used when its just a room of white guys ? I can only state my experience. I guess i need more racist mates ..

Its wrong that you where called it , but also , its true that many white people haven't heard the term at all .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant.

lol whatever love "

Great argument

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

Spade is a racial slur - I think it’s more or less common in specific areas, but it arose due to the implication someone could be as “black as the ace of spades”.

I’d never heard of the concept of Queen of Spades until joining the lifestyle, but it’s used by some to indicate a preference for black men. For obvious reasons, it’s use is a often considered offensive.

Thank you for explaining. I had literally never heard it being used as a term in general before, which is why I asked. . Amber58 I believe you when you say you didn’t know that a spade can be viewed as a racist word as you are quite young compared to me who grew up listening to it at school and even used on television programs like Minder."

Yeah from the responses on this post I'm starting to get the feeling it might be a generational thing. I definitely didn't hear it at school, but then no one at my school was really racist as I went to a very mixed comprehensive school where we learned to respect people from all backgrounds.

No one I've ever met has used that word, apart from referring to a card suit or gardening equipment anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant.

lol whatever love

Great argument "

I don’t have time for ignorant people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant.

lol whatever love

Great argument

I don’t have time for ignorant people"

And yet you're still replying

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

just making a point

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sat here with my popcorn

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"Snowflakes alert

If making a stand against casual racism makes me a snowflake just call me Elsa

Hear, hear twinkle #elsa

It's good the bigots are outing themselves! "

They make me laugh... they clearly have no capacity to present a reasoned intelligent argument to support their perspective so resort to name calling.

Maybe I need to add it to my bio... snowflake and proud lol! Xx

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves)."

Yep, exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never heard of "spade" being a racist term (this is the first time I'm seeing the term "Queen of spades" too). Why is it racist?

seriously? are you that ignorant?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Or you could also argue that this reaction to someone trying to educate themselves is even more ignorant.

lol whatever love

Great argument

I don’t have time for ignorant people"

If someone doesn't know a racist term , it doesn't make them ignorant. No need for what you're doing .

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By *harisajidanWoman  over a year ago

london


"Oh this ****ing PC brigade force their ass everywhere .. I thought Fab is immune from this nonsense. When did preference become “ racism”.. in the past few rejected us because their preference is to play with black or white couples/singles - that’s didn’t offend us at all (only complaint is that wish they mentioned that on their profile, would have save us some the time from contacting them)... anyway that doesn’t make them a racist.. Infact my preference is white and black guys with thick cock and I tend to avoid playing with Asian men - that’s my bloody choice and I am a Asian and I am not racist and I don’t give a f*^*% if anyone thinks I am. "

Seems like you missed the whole entire point, huh?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves)."

Well, it is a very outdated term that I have not been called for a few years, but the term has been used by people of colour to self-identify. The "Black Spades" were a mostly African-American street gang which started in the Bronx during the late 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s.

My understanding of its origins is that black sl*ves were considered nothing more than tools to get a job done and the spade was the most common and useful tool, but the etymology is difficult to trace.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Glad I missed that thread because the non sense on it are beyond rationality !

Always the same asshole claiming that they aren't racist and blablabla try to tell to BAME on to take things

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

UK


"It’s hilarious that people think some black guys like it. Nope, they like sex and they’ll take advantage of your racism and naivety to try and portray themselves as the stereotype you want them to be.

Trust me, no black guy is walking down the street calling themselves a spade and a n*gger to white people in normal circumstances.

(I used the n word because a couple above mentioned that they “love it” when men say that about themselves).

Well, it is a very outdated term that I have not been called for a few years, but the term has been used by people of colour to self-identify. The "Black Spades" were a mostly African-American street gang which started in the Bronx during the late 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s.

My understanding of its origins is that black sl*ves were considered nothing more than tools to get a job done and the spade was the most common and useful tool, but the etymology is difficult to trace."

Oh that’s interesting about the origin in terms of being considered tools. I hadn’t heard / considered that but it makes a lot of sense when you say it like that.

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