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Dominant or submissive?
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Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?. |
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Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head. |
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"Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head."
Yes but it adds to the fun, I am confident and sure of what I want and like to be listened to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head."
Absolutely. I think many men mistake “dominant” for rough. Being a real, true dominant is not that. I admit I tend to steer clear of men who say they’re a “Dom”
As too many men use it as an excuse to be borderline abusive towards women. I’d expect a genuine Dom to have attended munches/workshops and know a lot about aftercare and consent etc. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?."
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ? |
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Different people have different dynamics.
Yes, it's perfectly normal to be dominant and sometimes want to be submissive (and vice versa).
Think less about the labels you apply to yourself and more about what makes you happy.
Explore, have adventures and experiences. The more you learn about yourself, the better your journey will be. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ? "
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control."
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am  |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am "
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all. 
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that . |
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"Haha ... I was just teasing.
But seriously, best of luck here then..... the majority of females aren’t pushovers and will insist on being on top from time to time "
Looool good one  , yeah I get that and that's where I think I find it entertianing to be less in control in them situations.  |
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You can like rough and hardcore without either partner being D or s.
Most of the subs I know are strong independent women who know what they want from a Dom and how to negotiate with one to get it. BDSM should be based on equality of power. |
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"You can like rough and hardcore without either partner being D or s.
Most of the subs I know are strong independent women who know what they want from a Dom and how to negotiate with one to get it. BDSM should be based on equality of power. "
Amen!!! This is me  |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that ."
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am pretty submissive, but am also very feisty and independent. Try and push me around and you won’t like the results.
I’m also currently learning the art of topping from the bottom .
You need to make a sub want to submit, not force her/him. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I can be either, depends on the dynamic between myself and the other person/people
If I trust the person I am with the likelihood of me fully submitting to them would be far higher than that of a first meet for example.
There is a power to both submission and dominance however the endeavours of both should be that all involved are pleasured..rough/hardcore may work for some but it is not the definition of a Dom x |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious."
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do. "
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do.
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand. "
Yes, this reads wrong to me, too. Also like "cute woman, thinking she can be in control". I can and I will... maybe not in bed, not how I'm wired. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do.
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand. "
Lol no this has been in relationships not purely sexual. Which is okay to experiment.
I have always accredited the person in question and told her how sexy she was and how good she made me feel and how she should come out of her shell more.
Infact I have done the complete opposite of what your trying to imply and have always used it as a tool to increase self confidence. There is no malice or bad intent behind my actions I'm really not that kind of person.
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"Show me how sexy you can be"
That's enough for me to feel proper judged on my ability to "perform"
My granny nightie and dressing gown would be on quicker than Slash's guitar fingers, thinking to myself "I don't know *how* to be sexy, I either am or I'm not"
I kinda think if it came naturally they'd do it anyway, not because you've told them to. Again, I'm not massively into the fet scene due to bad experiences with people who thought they knew what they were doing, or those who did know and that knowing was how to manipulate for their own gain, and nothing else. |
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""Show me how sexy you can be"
That's enough for me to feel proper judged on my ability to "perform"
My granny nightie and dressing gown would be on quicker than Slash's guitar fingers, thinking to myself "I don't know *how* to be sexy, I either am or I'm not"
I kinda think if it came naturally they'd do it anyway, not because you've told them to. Again, I'm not massively into the fet scene due to bad experiences with people who thought they knew what they were doing, or those who did know and that knowing was how to manipulate for their own gain, and nothing else."
I think it's okay to ask someone to try to be sexy. If they start worrying about it then that's due to their own insecurities
If someone asked me for example I would rip off all my clothes and get striaght to work.
But I guess it's all a matter of how you take it. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do.
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand.
Lol no this has been in relationships not purely sexual. Which is okay to experiment.
I have always accredited the person in question and told her how sexy she was and how good she made me feel and how she should come out of her shell more.
Infact I have done the complete opposite of what your trying to imply and have always used it as a tool to increase self confidence. There is no malice or bad intent behind my actions I'm really not that kind of person.
"
My opinion take it or leave it. In my answer I said it may have been in your negotiated dynamic. Which then as long as everyone is happy it's all good to go. However, your answer was all I not we, D/s is a power exchange but all both are equal.
Now you can listen to me and the other subs and choose to learn how that scene may not work on everyone or not. But one thing I will tell you is that all good Dom's listen it's their most important skill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Show me how sexy you can be"
That's enough for me to feel proper judged on my ability to "perform"
My granny nightie and dressing gown would be on quicker than Slash's guitar fingers, thinking to myself "I don't know *how* to be sexy, I either am or I'm not"
I kinda think if it came naturally they'd do it anyway, not because you've told them to. Again, I'm not massively into the fet scene due to bad experiences with people who thought they knew what they were doing, or those who did know and that knowing was how to manipulate for their own gain, and nothing else.
I think it's okay to ask someone to try to be sexy. If they start worrying about it then that's due to their own insecurities
If someone asked me for example I would rip off all my clothes and get striaght to work.
But I guess it's all a matter of how you take it."
But as a Dom, you need to be aware of other’s insecurities and work with them, rather than triggering them. You can’t just dismiss it as ‘their insecurities’ just because you don’t suffer that particular issue. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do. "
..... ‘show me how sexy you can be’ .... dry as the Sahara and booking a cab home. |
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""Show me how sexy you can be"
That's enough for me to feel proper judged on my ability to "perform"
My granny nightie and dressing gown would be on quicker than Slash's guitar fingers, thinking to myself "I don't know *how* to be sexy, I either am or I'm not"
I kinda think if it came naturally they'd do it anyway, not because you've told them to. Again, I'm not massively into the fet scene due to bad experiences with people who thought they knew what they were doing, or those who did know and that knowing was how to manipulate for their own gain, and nothing else.
I think it's okay to ask someone to try to be sexy. If they start worrying about it then that's due to their own insecurities
If someone asked me for example I would rip off all my clothes and get striaght to work.
But I guess it's all a matter of how you take it."
Asking someone to perform for you isn’t aboht being Dom if that’s something you both like then sure.
I don’t reply go for labels ..... I’m definitely not submissive if this means me doing what a man tells me. I like tying as well as being tied love to initiate abs love face sitting .... not sure that makes me Dom though. |
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""Show me how sexy you can be"
That's enough for me to feel proper judged on my ability to "perform"
My granny nightie and dressing gown would be on quicker than Slash's guitar fingers, thinking to myself "I don't know *how* to be sexy, I either am or I'm not"
I kinda think if it came naturally they'd do it anyway, not because you've told them to. Again, I'm not massively into the fet scene due to bad experiences with people who thought they knew what they were doing, or those who did know and that knowing was how to manipulate for their own gain, and nothing else.
I think it's okay to ask someone to try to be sexy. If they start worrying about it then that's due to their own insecurities
If someone asked me for example I would rip off all my clothes and get striaght to work.
But I guess it's all a matter of how you take it.
But as a Dom, you need to be aware of other’s insecurities and work with them, rather than triggering them. You can’t just dismiss it as ‘their insecurities’ just because you don’t suffer that particular issue. "
Yes.
My first real dom, we spent quite some time discussing what was and wasn't ok. I'll go further with him than I will with anyone else. (And very rarely involve myself in BDSM play because I'm rarely reassured that I'll be safe enough) |
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Everybody is different, regardless of how that has made you react.
The person in question loved it and she really came out of her shell and showed me a different side to her.
I would never say that to someone whom I had a purely sexual relationship with becuase we would of already discussed the boundaries and limitations of the dynamic.
However I take you ladies point on board and it's always great to hear other people's opinions which I highly respect and appreciate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm 100% Dom but not because I get off on having control or being rough. If the girl I'm with likes that and we've talked about it, then absolutely. For me it's more about guidance and trust. I want to make sure my partner has an amazing meet or play and if there's a chance for them to really let go and not have to think about the play and just be allowed to concentrate on the raw emotion and feeling of our time together, I happily facilitate. |
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?."
Can be either with women, always submissive with men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do.
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand.
Lol no this has been in relationships not purely sexual. Which is okay to experiment.
I have always accredited the person in question and told her how sexy she was and how good she made me feel and how she should come out of her shell more.
Infact I have done the complete opposite of what your trying to imply and have always used it as a tool to increase self confidence. There is no malice or bad intent behind my actions I'm really not that kind of person.
My opinion take it or leave it. In my answer I said it may have been in your negotiated dynamic. Which then as long as everyone is happy it's all good to go. However, your answer was all I not we, D/s is a power exchange but all both are equal.
Now you can listen to me and the other subs and choose to learn how that scene may not work on everyone or not. But one thing I will tell you is that all good Dom's listen it's their most important skill. "
Listening to your sub is very important. Sticking to agreed boundries is another or the sub will lose trust in the dom. respect for your sub is a very very important trait for a dom to have. Without this the sub will not feel confident enough for the power exchange. Not all doms give aftercare once play has stopped. This is very important to help grounding of your sub after they have had a hard session,shows them you care for them and cuddles, kisses help bring them back down after multi orgasmic plays. |
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"Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head.
Absolutely. I think many men mistake “dominant” for rough. Being a real, true dominant is not that. I admit I tend to steer clear of men who say they’re a “Dom”
As too many men use it as an excuse to be borderline abusive towards women. I’d expect a genuine Dom to have attended munches/workshops and know a lot about aftercare and consent etc. "
This. All day long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm 100% Dom but not because I get off on having control or being rough. If the girl I'm with likes that and we've talked about it, then absolutely. For me it's more about guidance and trust. I want to make sure my partner has an amazing meet or play and if there's a chance for them to really let go and not have to think about the play and just be allowed to concentrate on the raw emotion and feeling of our time together, I happily facilitate. "
This all day long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can like rough and hardcore without either partner being D or s.
Most of the subs I know are strong independent women who know what they want from a Dom and how to negotiate with one to get it. BDSM should be based on equality of power. "
Spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Different people have different dynamics.
Yes, it's perfectly normal to be dominant and sometimes want to be submissive (and vice versa).
Think less about the labels you apply to yourself and more about what makes you happy.
Explore, have adventures and experiences. The more you learn about yourself, the better your journey will be. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was wondering where you reside.
I personally love to be dominant, rough and hardcore. something about being in control of another person really turns me on..
However I have had my moments when I've wanted to let go and have another person be in control of me but not to the extreme.
I was wondering if that's normal for a dominant person to be like this?.
I think it’s perfectly normal to try the other side sometimes out of curiosity , to see if we are missing something exciting, but every time I do, I don’t enjoy it, sometimes even get annoyed. Do you enjoy it OP when you switch ?
Not really no. I think I like the idea of it and only time I've ever done it is in relationships where I've wanted the other person to come out they're shell and show me if they can be sexy.
It is entertianing to see how they behave but eventually I want to revert back into being in control.
You probably gravitate towards submissives who aren’t confident and being dominant with you , so not very good at it ? A real domme would hand you on your knees saying yes ma’am
No. I really wouldn't I'm not into that at all.
When I say let them be in control I mean slightly I let them be in control sexually like being on top and oral situations.
I would never in my life partake in that kind of behaviour that would make me feel degraded and I would never like that .
The slightly let them be in control by allowing them on top or oral confuses me a little, and that you do that to see if they can show you they're sexy. Could just be the way it's worded but I dunno, sounds a bit "wrong pathy" to me. I am tired though, my belly is full and I could be totally missing something really obvious.
Yes, you have misunderstood me. Normally in most relationships I am the dominant counterpart all the time.
So eventually I think to myself I would like to see the girl whom I like show me how she would behave if the roles were reversed so I have asked them to take control such as initiating sex and being dominant orally like face sitting etc getting ontop and being the main aggressor in the dynamic.
That's where I say to them "show me how sexy you can be".
Although after a while I do take back control it is entertianing to see what they can do.
See I'm with Peach a bit here it still seems a bit wrong. You're playing mind games (which may be your pre agreed dynamic I don't know). You're telling the sub to prove her sexiness top me and then you finally take back control. Some subs feel the need to achieve a goal set by their Dom and you're settling them up to fail and potential making them loose confidence. Though I do not know you're dynamic this may be ok if it's been spoken about and negotiated beforehand.
Lol no this has been in relationships not purely sexual. Which is okay to experiment.
I have always accredited the person in question and told her how sexy she was and how good she made me feel and how she should come out of her shell more.
Infact I have done the complete opposite of what your trying to imply and have always used it as a tool to increase self confidence. There is no malice or bad intent behind my actions I'm really not that kind of person.
"
Personally I think you're talking shite. |
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I'm a bratty sub. My day job involves me being very dominant and in control so sexually I like to hand over control. However I only go into full sub or bratty sub with someone I trust and have agreed boundaries with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head.
Absolutely. I think many men mistake “dominant” for rough. Being a real, true dominant is not that. I admit I tend to steer clear of men who say they’re a “Dom”
As too many men use it as an excuse to be borderline abusive towards women. I’d expect a genuine Dom to have attended munches/workshops and know a lot about aftercare and consent etc. "
You dont need workshops. Its all about attitude and if you are a caring pwrson. Also need to be a honest and trustworthy person. These are all nessessary to be a good dom, otherwise no sub will hzve confidence or trust in you which are essencials for the bdsm play dynamics to work. As for workshops  do you think the very first doms went to workshops then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a bratty sub. My day job involves me being very dominant and in control so sexually I like to hand over control. However I only go into full sub or bratty sub with someone I trust and have agreed boundaries with"
Totally understand this. It took time for my jenny to trust me but now she has total trust in me. Amy dom who thinks abusing or delibratly hurting a sub is bdsm requires a psyco check. |
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"I'm a bratty sub. My day job involves me being very dominant and in control so sexually I like to hand over control. However I only go into full sub or bratty sub with someone I trust and have agreed boundaries with
Totally understand this. It took time for my jenny to trust me but now she has total trust in me. Amy dom who thinks abusing or delibratly hurting a sub is bdsm requires a psyco check. "
Some men think watching 50 shades and slapping their partners arse makes them a dom - I tend to steer clear of men who advertise themself as being "very dom". You sound like you get it Jenny is very lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a D/S dynamic - Fire is Dom, Smoke is sub to Fire and switch with other women. It’s a totally consensual situation which is only in effect sexually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rough n hardcore doesn't a dominant make.
I don't class myself as either.
I would have said sub in the past, but much like other areas, people abusing trust or having no clue has knocked that on the head.
Absolutely. I think many men mistake “dominant” for rough. Being a real, true dominant is not that. I admit I tend to steer clear of men who say they’re a “Dom”
As too many men use it as an excuse to be borderline abusive towards women. I’d expect a genuine Dom to have attended munches/workshops and know a lot about aftercare and consent etc.
You dont need workshops. Its all about attitude and if you are a caring pwrson. Also need to be a honest and trustworthy person. These are all nessessary to be a good dom, otherwise no sub will hzve confidence or trust in you which are essencials for the bdsm play dynamics to work. As for workshops do you think the very first doms went to workshops then "
No of course not. Okay workshop los aren’t necessary but as you say, being a caring & trustworthy person is. The men who’ve read 50 shades & think that makes them a “Dom”, or the man who started this thread, don’t seem so caring to me from what they’ve said. |
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