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To the larger ladies....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, it doesn't. I'm not massively confident about my size but (in normal times) I try and put that to one side and get out there."
you have a lovely figure so you should feel confident x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get paranoid about my weight to but then life is short so I just try to enjoy myself as much as possible and not worry about my weight to much.
I had cancer and gained a shed load of weight due to being immobile for a fair few months but managed to lose 3 stone but over lockdown I’ve gained a stone so feel nervous about meeting again but I’m not going to let it put me off meeting when we are allowed as I think we’ve all endured a great deal over the last year and now need to have some much needed (careful) fun.
Please don’t put yourself down. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Those guys 100% exist but then there are definitely guys who don't just think size doesn't matter but also actively find larger figures attractive. Attraction isn't objective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx |
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"Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx"
Absolutely this!!! Girl you're beautiful x x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some men go out of their way to search for the larger lady, only have to look at the forums to see that. Please don't feel bad about yourself x"
Thats easier said than done. I dont have any trouble chatting to the fellas but as soon as they want to see full pics thats when I start to wonder if my size will really put them off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say i try to be realistic with people about my body, pick lingerie that flatters or i feel good in and ignore those who want to be vile or simply dont find ladies my size attractive  |
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i believe that size does bother most guys, they wouldn’t specifically choose me, but most guys would just say anything to get laid and so put up with it- it may not bother them so much but still, they’d rather a smaller girl. it doesn’t hold me back too much cus i’m confident anyway, but i find when i choose guys i don’t go for super attractive guys cus it makes me uncomfortable in comparison |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There will always be someone you are bloody perfect for, don't let it hold you back, be brave with your profile pics and then you'll have nothing to hide x with love from a fellow bbw x x "
thats a great profile pic 
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"Some men go out of their way to search for the larger lady, only have to look at the forums to see that. Please don't feel bad about yourself x
Thats easier said than done. I dont have any trouble chatting to the fellas but as soon as they want to see full pics thats when I start to wonder if my size will really put them off"
If that's the case they aren't worth your time x be Confident and own your beautiful body x x |
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"No, it doesn't. I'm not massively confident about my size but (in normal times) I try and put that to one side and get out there.
you have a lovely figure so you should feel confident x"
I have a ginormous jelly belly that I try to avoid photographing 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get paranoid about my weight to but then life is short so I just try to enjoy myself as much as possible and not worry about my weight to much.
I had cancer and gained a shed load of weight due to being immobile for a fair few months but managed to lose 3 stone but over lockdown I’ve gained a stone so feel nervous about meeting again but I’m not going to let it put me off meeting when we are allowed as I think we’ve all endured a great deal over the last year and now need to have some much needed (careful) fun.
Please don’t put yourself down. Xx"
im so sorry you had cancer. i hope you are well now.
maybe even more so now that we've all gone without sex for so long literally guys will say anything to get into your knickers? i would be absolutely mortified if that were the case |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Those guys 100% exist but then there are definitely guys who don't just think size doesn't matter but also actively find larger figures attractive. Attraction isn't objective."
How do you tell the difference? its all very well sending pics and they say they're ok with it but then you meet and its a different story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely suffer with some kind of dismorphia
I mean I know I'm a chubby bloke, but I don't see chubby fat, I see huge, I see blobby, I see The Klumps!
It's not a nice place to be in
I work towards being my best self
I am intelligent, I am confident without being arrogant, I am happy, I am easy going, I'm a little but daft, I've got it good
Being on the big side is just one facet of me
I simply won't allow it to shape me
I am so much more than it
However, I hear every word you are saying about confidence
If you feel you need to work on you, work on you, there will always be guys willing to meet whether you are a size 14 or a size 24
Meets should be carefree and fun
You second guessing attraction and intention will only serve to feed your self hatred |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx"
this is exactly what i mean (no offence). ok so the pics are alright BUT you'll see my body is not in them fully and neither is my face. im not stunning at all. so effectively im deceiving them....jesus my brain is going into overdrive over this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was younger I was significantly heavier than I am now. And although I wouldn’t have got into the lifestyle then I think that it may have been due to the confidence that comes with age rather than body image. I am still not confident in my body now but I do have confidence in my sexuality. I don’t know if that helps, but I don’t think you are alone in how you feel.
P x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, it doesn't. I'm not massively confident about my size but (in normal times) I try and put that to one side and get out there.
you have a lovely figure so you should feel confident x
I have a ginormous jelly belly that I try to avoid photographing
"
ditto, which is why i dont show my body in my pics.
i think its just really got to me the last couple of days, potentially ive missed out on some amazing post covid meets because ive bottled into agreeing to meet them |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Honestly? Yes it does at times. I sometimes have days where I think if I lose x amount of weight then I will be beautiful and people will find me attractive. I've turned down men before because I've got it in my head that no one will find me attractive because I'm not a size 10. I do send full length photos when I'm interested in meeting but I so rarely am so it's not a big thing.
I think, and this will be me being blunt so apologies in advance, that life is too short to be beating yourself up about your weight. When I'm unhappy about it, I try and lose it, if not I try and be at peace with my body.
You need to find your confidence again Op - there are men who will find you attractive but you need to believe in yourself. You should. x |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
I think this post says more about you than the people who want to meet you.
sounds like confidence issues to me .
There are some but not all guys who really don't care as long as they get what they want .
Then there are guys who are genuinely into bigger girls .
Always do a social meet 1st because in doing that you will know if they are genuinely attracted to you by how they interact with you afterwards.   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I definitely suffer with some kind of dismorphia
I mean I know I'm a chubby bloke, but I don't see chubby fat, I see huge, I see blobby, I see The Klumps!
It's not a nice place to be in
I work towards being my best self
I am intelligent, I am confident without being arrogant, I am happy, I am easy going, I'm a little but daft, I've got it good
Being on the big side is just one facet of me
I simply won't allow it to shape me
I am so much more than it
However, I hear every word you are saying about confidence
If you feel you need to work on you, work on you, there will always be guys willing to meet whether you are a size 14 or a size 24
Meets should be carefree and fun
You second guessing attraction and intention will only serve to feed your self hatred"
good to hear from a guys point of view too thank you. how do you get to that point of not allowing it to ruin your fun though? i |
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"No, it doesn't. I'm not massively confident about my size but (in normal times) I try and put that to one side and get out there.
you have a lovely figure so you should feel confident x
I have a ginormous jelly belly that I try to avoid photographing
ditto, which is why i dont show my body in my pics.
i think its just really got to me the last couple of days, potentially ive missed out on some amazing post covid meets because ive bottled into agreeing to meet them "
I do have some belly pics up to be honest with people. I don't like them but they get Fabs. As they say, there's someone for everyone.... |
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By *arksoleMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I don’t think it’s about just trying to get ones leg over. I don’t think they would of messaged you if they are not interested. Ladies it’s about curves, slim or large to me it’s how you carry yourself. I mean it’s the individual, that I’m attracted to. I’ve fancied slim and large x |
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All I can say is yes there are definitely people who will say anything to get sex, but you only need to search up BBW and you will find 100s of threads full of admirers of heavier women. The reason they are on there and starting the threads is because they honestly find that attractive.
Op your pictures are beautiful and your hair looks lovely. |
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Think it works both ways-that some guys lack confidence about their appearance.
I have always been "over weight", "chubby", "fat"...was doing well before the first lockdown -i had lost a stone but put more weight back on! Have been rejected/knocked back when asking women out in the vanilla world...one was very considerate and explained that I was a lovely guy but my weight put her off me...
Regarding curvy women- I have always found curvy women very very attractive. I am not the type of guy who would reject a woman because of her appearance...its more about mental stimulation for me. Stimulate my mind and I will happily play twister...naked with you... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, it doesn't. I'm not massively confident about my size but (in normal times) I try and put that to one side and get out there.
you have a lovely figure so you should feel confident x
I have a ginormous jelly belly that I try to avoid photographing
ditto, which is why i dont show my body in my pics.
i think its just really got to me the last couple of days, potentially ive missed out on some amazing post covid meets because ive bottled into agreeing to meet them
I do have some belly pics up to be honest with people. I don't like them but they get Fabs. As they say, there's someone for everyone...."
thats interesting to know, to me that would be my worst nightmare showing it but maybe if i did then the worst part is over and if they still want to talk meeting shouldnt be an issue....hmmmm something to think about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some of the best advice has been given, yes some of us blokes will say anything for a leg over but there are definitely people who love a lady with a curvy figure.
You go for what you like try not to be insecure have fun and just be you, if people don’t like it tough there lose.... you please have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think it works both ways-that some guys lack confidence about their appearance.
I have always been "over weight", "chubby", "fat"...was doing well before the first lockdown -i had lost a stone but put more weight back on! Have been rejected/knocked back when asking women out in the vanilla world...one was very considerate and explained that I was a lovely guy but my weight put her off me...
Regarding curvy women- I have always found curvy women very very attractive. I am not the type of guy who would reject a woman because of her appearance...its more about mental stimulation for me. Stimulate my mind and I will happily play twister...naked with you..."
thats really harsh she said that to you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All I can say is yes there are definitely people who will say anything to get sex, but you only need to search up BBW and you will find 100s of threads full of admirers of heavier women. The reason they are on there and starting the threads is because they honestly find that attractive.
Op your pictures are beautiful and your hair looks lovely."
thank you but my pics are deceiving, just good camera angles.
i think after reading the replies i need to work on my confidence. that much is clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The heart wants what the heart wants, I suppose. Some people like skimmed milk (yuk) but all the cool people know that the goodness is in the full fat stuff! |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you any different big or small everyone is beautiful in their own way! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you miss out on some meets because of lack of self confidence I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Some call it kismet or fate but whatever you call it you look fab. "
Its come to a head tonight, hence my post. |
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Yes at the beginning when I started my Fab journey. I’m happy within myself but I struggle with self confidence. Like how others perceive you, and how can they find you attractive. I always find some fake tan and some nice underwear make me feel good  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Im the same.. i dont want to feel used or ridiculed.. i too want to meet but become scared of disappointing who im meeting... Trying to train myself to love who i am  |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
My last long term partner was a size 22, I didn't see size, I saw a woman, I fell in love with her personality, kindness and compassion. As they say, never judge a book by its cover |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Im the same.. i dont want to feel used or ridiculed.. i too want to meet but become scared of disappointing who im meeting... Trying to train myself to love who i am |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I was younger I was significantly heavier than I am now. And although I wouldn’t have got into the lifestyle then I think that it may have been due to the confidence that comes with age rather than body image. I am still not confident in my body now but I do have confidence in my sexuality. I don’t know if that helps, but I don’t think you are alone in how you feel.
P x"
i take some comfort in knowing im not alone. its really made me think...this is more about me and my issues rather than the guys im chatting to. i think i may have been doing them a disservice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?
Im the same.. i dont want to feel used or ridiculed.. i too want to meet but become scared of disappointing who im meeting... Trying to train myself to love who i am "
exactly this. we need a way of feeling confident and comfortable in our own skin xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate my figure and I'm so self conscious about it. Definitely don't feel confident being naked with someone, especially when you see some really stunning ladies on here x"
i would literally kill to have your figure so you should count yourself in the stunning category |
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"I hate my figure and I'm so self conscious about it. Definitely don't feel confident being naked with someone, especially when you see some really stunning ladies on here x
i would literally kill to have your figure so you should count yourself in the stunning category "
Thank you for saying so but trust me, camera angles work miracles. |
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"I hate my figure and I'm so self conscious about it. Definitely don't feel confident being naked with someone, especially when you see some really stunning ladies on here x"
you have got a stunning figure x
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"I hate my figure and I'm so self conscious about it. Definitely don't feel confident being naked with someone, especially when you see some really stunning ladies on here x
i would literally kill to have your figure so you should count yourself in the stunning category
Thank you for saying so but trust me, camera angles work miracles."
simply stunning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely suffer with some kind of dismorphia
I mean I know I'm a chubby bloke, but I don't see chubby fat, I see huge, I see blobby, I see The Klumps!
It's not a nice place to be in
I work towards being my best self
I am intelligent, I am confident without being arrogant, I am happy, I am easy going, I'm a little but daft, I've got it good
Being on the big side is just one facet of me
I simply won't allow it to shape me
I am so much more than it
However, I hear every word you are saying about confidence
If you feel you need to work on you, work on you, there will always be guys willing to meet whether you are a size 14 or a size 24
Meets should be carefree and fun
You second guessing attraction and intention will only serve to feed your self hatred
good to hear from a guys point of view too thank you. how do you get to that point of not allowing it to ruin your fun though? i"
I just don't let it define me
I am so much more than just a body shape
That's not to say I am not aware or not conscious
I also learned that attraction is wonderfully diverse
You think guys don't find you attractive because you don't find yourself attractive, you don't like what you see
So many people will see what you see and think 'ooft' where you think 'urgh'
As for the chancers and the any holes a goalers, you will be able to spot them
I will, however, throw you a word of caution - some - not nice folk - will throw your weight back at you if they don't get what they want, so I wouldn't express your mental struggles with your weight openly with guys you meet. There's some manipulative twonks out there.
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OP from your viewable pics you look a stunning lady, and I'm sure any man who has the pleasure of your company for an evening should feel honoured I know I would.
If you insisted on a social meet that may sort out the serious gents from the say anything to get their leg over crew. If your brave enough put up a full body shot then people can tell more if you are for them the irresistible minx I believe you are. |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
\
Nope---and when the guy says he doesn't care-- he probably doesn't.
I also see way too many women on here in their profiles apologizing for their size or having "wobbly bits".....like, stop it.
If the guy is talking with you (given he's seen your size/shape/pics), he doesn't care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Dont think guys dont feel exactly the same way.... |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
OP.. I've been a larger than now lady... at the height of my heaviness I met a chap.... gym fit, super toned and muscley... thought "he's going to have a heart attack when he see's me"
He loves a fit/toned lady
He also spent an hour just stroking my skin, liking the softness, the cushion and the delight of flesh....he's been back several times... so guessing it wasnt just a fetish... |
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"i believe that size does bother most guys, they wouldn’t specifically choose me, but most guys would just say anything to get laid and so put up with it- it may not bother them so much but still, they’d rather a smaller girl. it doesn’t hold me back too much cus i’m confident anyway, but i find when i choose guys i don’t go for super attractive guys cus it makes me uncomfortable in comparison"
Girl, WHAT?
Go for what you want, shoot for the moon, land amongst the stars! Fulfill your most desired fantasies-- don't settle for ANYTHING just because.... get that confidence up! I really really don't think you can say most of these guys want smaller(petite) girls.... like... nah... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Yes it does, but then I doubt I'll ever be happy with my body.
Have you looked into body neutrality? It's about accepting rather than judging your body or trying to find good bits.
Hate the full length pics too, my stomach is my nemesis.
But... meeting guys that are into bigger woman makes me feel like a fetish. I'd rather be with someone who likes me for me and my body is a bonus.
From what I can see OP you've got fab boobs, shapely legs and a gorge bum! |
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I know exactly where you’re coming from. My photos attract attention but I’m a fan of a good camera angle! I feel like I need to shed some weight before I get back out there meeting again. Would also like to visit a club but atm I’m not sure I’m confident enough with my body to go!
It’s difficult isn’t it? We are what we are and we should embrace it but when you’ve been slimmer you always want to be back to your former self. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I definitely suffer with some kind of dismorphia
I mean I know I'm a chubby bloke, but I don't see chubby fat, I see huge, I see blobby, I see The Klumps!
It's not a nice place to be in
I work towards being my best self
I am intelligent, I am confident without being arrogant, I am happy, I am easy going, I'm a little but daft, I've got it good
Being on the big side is just one facet of me
I simply won't allow it to shape me
I am so much more than it
However, I hear every word you are saying about confidence
If you feel you need to work on you, work on you, there will always be guys willing to meet whether you are a size 14 or a size 24
Meets should be carefree and fun
You second guessing attraction and intention will only serve to feed your self hatred"
Thank you for posting this, I think 'we' can all forget guys can suffer with altered or poor body image. |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?
Yes it does, but then I doubt I'll ever be happy with my body.
Have you looked into body neutrality? It's about accepting rather than judging your body or trying to find good bits.
Hate the full length pics too, my stomach is my nemesis.
But... meeting guys that are into bigger woman makes me feel like a fetish. I'd rather be with someone who likes me for me and my body is a bonus.
From what I can see OP you've got fab boobs, shapely legs and a gorge bum! "
you look perfect the way you are you look stunning in your pics! X |
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"Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx
this is exactly what i mean (no offence). ok so the pics are alright BUT you'll see my body is not in them fully and neither is my face. im not stunning at all. so effectively im deceiving them....jesus my brain is going into overdrive over this "
Hello, Sweetheart.
I just want to say that I know where you're coming from. I'm the biggest I've been since lockdown and it has really affected by confidence. Although I show my face, I've never showed my whole body cos I hate my stomach.
However, I took the plunge the other week & briefly posted my avatar pic (I'll hide it again, soon.) I was blown away by the
Comments I got. I always assumed gym fit fellas went for gym fit girls, and that it was only cos I have big boobs that that contact me. It doesn't seem to be the case!
I'm still self conscious, but I'm getting there. So will you!
You have gorgeous hair & look amazing in green. Please don't worry xx |
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"Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx
this is exactly what i mean (no offence). ok so the pics are alright BUT you'll see my body is not in them fully and neither is my face. im not stunning at all. so effectively im deceiving them....jesus my brain is going into overdrive over this
Hello, Sweetheart.
I just want to say that I know where you're coming from. I'm the biggest I've been since lockdown and it has really affected by confidence. Although I show my face, I've never showed my whole body cos I hate my stomach.
However, I took the plunge the other week & briefly posted my avatar pic (I'll hide it again, soon.) I was blown away by the
Comments I got. I always assumed gym fit fellas went for gym fit girls, and that it was only cos I have big boobs that that contact me. It doesn't seem to be the case!
I'm still self conscious, but I'm getting there. So will you!
You have gorgeous hair & look amazing in green. Please don't worry xx"
You should not hate anything about yourself you are beautiful always remember that! You look stunning in your pics! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets. "
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Someones figure is definitely a major deciding factor as to whether they feel comfortable meeting or not, we all have to feel sexy looking at ourselves before wanting other people to see.
Minnie has said she won’t meet again until she feels comfortable, but allied to her health issues as well I totally understand why. Not that she’s not stunningly beautiful, in the 25 years we’ve been together she’s always been gorgeous to me and I’ve never once looked at her figure and not been turned on, but her confidence has taken a beating with what she’s been through so it’s bound to affect how she views herself and this site.
OP, you look lovely though and I can assure you whatever you see negativity about yourself others don’t. Ultimately it’s about you though so if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it, just have fun and hopefully soon you’ll start feeling better about yourself
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Honestly, I'm afraid the answer is yes. So so so many men on here will say anything to get their leg over. If you could ask any of my fab friends, they'll I'm not that guy but many are.
YOU though, OP, really are just stunning. Whether or not you feel horrid, you look amazing. Maybe you've just taken some amazing angled photos but from what I can see, nobody would have been lying to you to get in your knickers!
Xx
this is exactly what i mean (no offence). ok so the pics are alright BUT you'll see my body is not in them fully and neither is my face. im not stunning at all. so effectively im deceiving them....jesus my brain is going into overdrive over this
Hello, Sweetheart.
I just want to say that I know where you're coming from. I'm the biggest I've been since lockdown and it has really affected by confidence. Although I show my face, I've never showed my whole body cos I hate my stomach.
However, I took the plunge the other week & briefly posted my avatar pic (I'll hide it again, soon.) I was blown away by the
Comments I got. I always assumed gym fit fellas went for gym fit girls, and that it was only cos I have big boobs that that contact me. It doesn't seem to be the case!
I'm still self conscious, but I'm getting there. So will you!
You have gorgeous hair & look amazing in green. Please don't worry xx"
yes, that's what I assume, gym fit men meet gym fit girls. I bit the bullet last night and had an honest conversation with them about this thread and they were wonderful in their response.
You look great by the way too xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know exactly where you’re coming from. My photos attract attention but I’m a fan of a good camera angle! I feel like I need to shed some weight before I get back out there meeting again. Would also like to visit a club but atm I’m not sure I’m confident enough with my body to go!
It’s difficult isn’t it? We are what we are and we should embrace it but when you’ve been slimmer you always want to be back to your former self. X"
Shame you're the other side of the country to me, I would have been your wing woman |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP.. I've been a larger than now lady... at the height of my heaviness I met a chap.... gym fit, super toned and muscley... thought "he's going to have a heart attack when he see's me"
He loves a fit/toned lady
He also spent an hour just stroking my skin, liking the softness, the cushion and the delight of flesh....he's been back several times... so guessing it wasnt just a fetish..."
Sounds like you have a good one there...care to share? lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I definitely suffer with some kind of dismorphia
I mean I know I'm a chubby bloke, but I don't see chubby fat, I see huge, I see blobby, I see The Klumps!
It's not a nice place to be in
I work towards being my best self
I am intelligent, I am confident without being arrogant, I am happy, I am easy going, I'm a little but daft, I've got it good
Being on the big side is just one facet of me
I simply won't allow it to shape me
I am so much more than it
However, I hear every word you are saying about confidence
If you feel you need to work on you, work on you, there will always be guys willing to meet whether you are a size 14 or a size 24
Meets should be carefree and fun
You second guessing attraction and intention will only serve to feed your self hatred
good to hear from a guys point of view too thank you. how do you get to that point of not allowing it to ruin your fun though? i
I just don't let it define me
I am so much more than just a body shape
That's not to say I am not aware or not conscious
I also learned that attraction is wonderfully diverse
You think guys don't find you attractive because you don't find yourself attractive, you don't like what you see
So many people will see what you see and think 'ooft' where you think 'urgh'
As for the chancers and the any holes a goalers, you will be able to spot them
I will, however, throw you a word of caution - some - not nice folk - will throw your weight back at you if they don't get what they want, so I wouldn't express your mental struggles with your weight openly with guys you meet. There's some manipulative twonks out there.
"
great to hear from a fellas point of view. just goes to show we all have insecurities.
Ive woken up viewing things differently. Full body pics should be sent in the first few messages, not leave it weeks/months putting off the inevitable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Someones figure is definitely a major deciding factor as to whether they feel comfortable meeting or not, we all have to feel sexy looking at ourselves before wanting other people to see.
Minnie has said she won’t meet again until she feels comfortable, but allied to her health issues as well I totally understand why. Not that she’s not stunningly beautiful, in the 25 years we’ve been together she’s always been gorgeous to me and I’ve never once looked at her figure and not been turned on, but her confidence has taken a beating with what she’s been through so it’s bound to affect how she views herself and this site.
OP, you look lovely though and I can assure you whatever you see negativity about yourself others don’t. Ultimately it’s about you though so if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it, just have fun and hopefully soon you’ll start feeling better about yourself
"
Totally empathise with Minnie.Lack of confidence isnt fun, can hold you back in lots of ways, not just sex. think i need to work on myself (not literally lol), start looking forward, not back to what figure I did have and try to accept the one I have now.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ll be completely honest, I will only tell the truth to a woman. When I say I like a large lady, I really mean it. Besides, for me it’s more about who they are than what size they are. The connection needs to be mental, and then the physical side is amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someones figure is definitely a major deciding factor as to whether they feel comfortable meeting or not, we all have to feel sexy looking at ourselves before wanting other people to see.
Minnie has said she won’t meet again until she feels comfortable, but allied to her health issues as well I totally understand why. Not that she’s not stunningly beautiful, in the 25 years we’ve been together she’s always been gorgeous to me and I’ve never once looked at her figure and not been turned on, but her confidence has taken a beating with what she’s been through so it’s bound to affect how she views herself and this site.
OP, you look lovely though and I can assure you whatever you see negativity about yourself others don’t. Ultimately it’s about you though so if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it, just have fun and hopefully soon you’ll start feeling better about yourself
Totally empathise with Minnie.Lack of confidence isnt fun, can hold you back in lots of ways, not just sex. think i need to work on myself (not literally lol), start looking forward, not back to what figure I did have and try to accept the one I have now.
"
For us it’s your personality that is a bigger deciding factor than your figure because you could have the body of a Greek god/goddess but the personality of a wet paper towel
The last 12 months have been really difficult for everybody so fingers crossed you can look forward to the future and this time next year you’ll be in a much better place x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someones figure is definitely a major deciding factor as to whether they feel comfortable meeting or not, we all have to feel sexy looking at ourselves before wanting other people to see.
Minnie has said she won’t meet again until she feels comfortable, but allied to her health issues as well I totally understand why. Not that she’s not stunningly beautiful, in the 25 years we’ve been together she’s always been gorgeous to me and I’ve never once looked at her figure and not been turned on, but her confidence has taken a beating with what she’s been through so it’s bound to affect how she views herself and this site.
OP, you look lovely though and I can assure you whatever you see negativity about yourself others don’t. Ultimately it’s about you though so if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it, just have fun and hopefully soon you’ll start feeling better about yourself
Totally empathise with Minnie.Lack of confidence isnt fun, can hold you back in lots of ways, not just sex. think i need to work on myself (not literally lol), start looking forward, not back to what figure I did have and try to accept the one I have now.
"
my mrs feels the same but is slowly working up her convince which good. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most people I know have body insecurities - some of them I look at and can't believe what I'm hearing because to me they're beautiful.
I've fought with my weight forever and have always been chubby.
My size has held me back from so many things.
I wish I knew the answer on how to gain confidence.
I know a smaller dress size doesn't bring confidence - I thought I was fat at a size 10 / 12 
I regret hating my younger slimmer body!
I turn 46 in a couple of weeks and at a size 18 I have kind of accepted my body.
I still wish it was smaller - but life is short. |
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I think everyone is insecure with some part of their body....i think your body is very sexy...i think most men will agree....you enjoy everything this site has to offer...i know if i were close id jump at the chance to enjoy you |
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I have similar body hang ups. My best advice is to post honest pictures of yourself so that no one could be surprised when they meet you. Or at least be prepared to send them privately.
You can always look at a guys profile and do some veri research. If he generally meets bigger girls and leaves them glowing veris or mentions in his profile that he’s into bigger girls than you can be sure he’s attracted to you genuinely.
There are some guys who think bigger girls aren’t attractive but sleep with them anyway because they’re desperate losers. You can normally sniff them out and tell from their profile what they’re usual type is.
Confidence is key. You’re lovely, you just have to believe it. It’s worth remembering that very few people are universally attractive. For everyone who thinks you’re hot there’ll be another who doesn’t. And that’s ok. I’m sure you’re not attracted to everyone you meet either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get paranoid about my weight to but then life is short so I just try to enjoy myself as much as possible and not worry about my weight to much.
I had cancer and gained a shed load of weight due to being immobile for a fair few months but managed to lose 3 stone but over lockdown I’ve gained a stone so feel nervous about meeting again but I’m not going to let it put me off meeting when we are allowed as I think we’ve all endured a great deal over the last year and now need to have some much needed (careful) fun.
Please don’t put yourself down. Xx
im so sorry you had cancer. i hope you are well now.
maybe even more so now that we've all gone without sex for so long literally guys will say anything to get into your knickers? i would be absolutely mortified if that were the case"
I do think there are some men like that but equally there are some genuine fellas who do like a fuller woman.
OP, you look perfectly fine to me in your photos and really should try to love yourself a bit more.
I get what you’re saying about your tummy as mine is the same and I have written that in my profile.
It’s weird that I don’t mind being naked in person with someone who sees all of me but absolutely hate it for photos and do my best to hide it.
I’ve had some meets on here previously with gym fit guys who’ve loved by wobbly bits and they’ve came back for more which actually boosts confidence.
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have dated large ladies all my life. From a size 18 who grew to a size 32. Then a size 24 who grew to a size 28. And now with a sexy size 26. Men can be as cruel to men thinking if you are with a bbw you have only managed to date second best. As an apprentice I was ribbed constantly but shrugged it off. The problem I find with bbws is finding one who is truly happy with her body and who doesn’t need constant reassurance that you do like her body. Because of this I find many lovely single bbws will remain so because of the barriers they put up. |
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By *osexyCouple
over a year ago
ST AUSTELL |
Most of us have insecurities but there are plenty of men who enjoy the larger lady. As some posters have already said you need to be reassured they desire you for your shape and they are not just looking for a selfish shag. Guys who just use women are the ruin of self confidence and need to be avoided at all costs . Confidence in your body is sexy but hard to portray when you don’t feel that inside . A few meets with the right people and confidence will grow. |
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So what of some men only say they're OK with it to get their dick wet.... That's a them issue, not yours. Of you like them and want to fuck them then do it. You're not looking for love from the meet.
To be perfectly honest, I've never really worried about my size and getting meets. There are lots of wonderful guts on here who genuinely enjoy the fuller figures ladies. Get on some of the long running bbw chat threads and you'll see who they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I prefer a lady with curves, unfortunately guys do think with there cocks and probably alot would fuck anyone.
It's about filtering out the guys that think any women will do and the ones like me that prefere a curvy lady. |
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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
You say that when you look in the mirror you feel repulsed, I think a lot of the time the way you see yourself is not the way other people see you. A lot of men I know are into the larger ladies, be proud of what you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought that being a larger lady would be a detriment, but actually it hasn't. I know I won't appeal to everybody, and that's fine as I have my own preferences too. Being here has actually been a huge confidence boost and I quite happily strut my stuff now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think a great way to gain confidence is to go on the chatrooms and put your cam on, don't have to show your face and the comments are nearly always nice.
Seeing that guys love seeing your sexy curves will soon boost your confidence xx |
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Feeling this one too. I'm Sure there's a deeper societal issue going on that pretty much every woman in this thread, and others like it, are worried about their tummies. I suspect there's some deeper conditioning going on, we can accept big boobs and bum because they are curvy but the minute you have a tummy then it's unattractive? Especially when that tummy is the result of growing a small person... the ultimate feminine.
Op you are beautiful. I suspect that you choosing to believe it is your biggest hurdle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its easy sometimes to see our self percieved imperfections rather than all the great things we have going for ourselves. For most of us there will always be someone with a bigger cock / boobs or smaller arse / boobs, someone taller (or shorter for thise who dont want to be tall) etc etc.
OP - you look fabulous and there are women who would love to look like you and men who wish they could be with someone like you.
I hope these replies to your post help your self confidence. Sometimes this site or peoole in it can be thoughtless and cruel.
As an aside - When ever I have fallen in love, its been with a personality and inner beauty - not a body shape x |
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I feel you OP. So many people are held back by their own perception of themselves. Little to we know we are all beautiful in different ways and people like different types of body shapes in guys and girls the same.
I'm convinced social media plays a huge part of people lack of body confidence, all those filters and photoshop imagines do no one any favours in the long run.
We are who we are and if people are so shallow to judge people so fast it's their problem not yours.
It really gets to me when I see people judging themselves harshly. We all like what we like so there is someone for everyone, if you understand what I'm saying |
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By *sapJMan
over a year ago
Stockton |
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Being completely honest it’s both, some people are just total hornballs that will say anything to get their leg over. Meanwhile some people genuinely do love curved figures.
What I will say though which is really important isn’t that it doesn’t matter what they think. Everyones got an opinion on everything, some good some bad some neutral. You can’t keep worrying about other people’s thoughts, what is important is only your own.
You look like you have a gorgeous figure and tick so many boxes for me. The legs, the hair, the figure - everything is beautiful. And that’s how I want you to see yourself - let people like you for you, don’t try to become what “they” like.
You are who you are, and who you are is beautiful. Keep your chin up and love yourself. |
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"Honestly? Yes it does at times. I sometimes have days where I think if I lose x amount of weight then I will be beautiful and people will find me attractive. I've turned down men before because I've got it in my head that no one will find me attractive because I'm not a size 10. I do send full length photos when I'm interested in meeting but I so rarely am so it's not a big thing.
I think, and this will be me being blunt so apologies in advance, that life is too short to be beating yourself up about your weight. When I'm unhappy about it, I try and lose it, if not I try and be at peace with my body.
You need to find your confidence again Op - there are men who will find you attractive but you need to believe in yourself. You should. x"
No idea what happened to my post but, you have a stunning figure!!! |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
Both of your assumptions are right, some will say anything, others don't mind and some will prefer larger ladies.
No one size fits all and hopefully your gut feeling will let you find out which are which |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hell yes, I have had a few guys who I have spoken to in the past and got on great with the sexual tension between us has been amazing then the pictures get swooped and they vanish from the face of the earth. It's awful and made me feel like shit, luckily I have some good mates who always pull me back, and several guys who I have met that keep coming back so that makes me feel better. But am very aware on 1st meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have met plenty of bbw's through and other body sizes and the body size does not bother me either way.
As long as they are a nice person, who enjoy the mutual fun and are fresh and trimmed then im all in, so to speak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets.
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult."
I have in the past thought do myself .... well fuck them... if I met them and they don’t like my body then they can just fuck off.
Doesn’t work all the time though but sometimes it does.
I am usually pretty good on my diet 80% of the time but recently Iv been shocking so feel worse then ever!!
Doesn’t help that I met someone once when I was a size 12, we shagged on and off for 4 hours and then he told me he didn’t want to see me again as I was too big for him
I now usually hang around at a 8/10 but in this last lockdown I’m more of an 12 as I haven’t stopped eating 24/7! So I won’t meet now til I lose some weight  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t even have any health issues either which makes me gain weight so no excuse
Well except lazybitchitus
And being on the ‘See food’ diet ...
See food and I eat it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets.
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult.
I have in the past thought do myself .... well fuck them... if I met them and they don’t like my body then they can just fuck off.
Doesn’t work all the time though but sometimes it does.
I am usually pretty good on my diet 80% of the time but recently Iv been shocking so feel worse then ever!!
Doesn’t help that I met someone once when I was a size 12, we shagged on and off for 4 hours and then he told me he didn’t want to see me again as I was too big for him
I now usually hang around at a 8/10 but in this last lockdown I’m more of an 12 as I haven’t stopped eating 24/7! So I won’t meet now til I lose some weight "
I am right in thinking that Size 8-10 is at the lower end of womens clothes sizing and that a 12 is still a smaller (verging towards average) size?
I don't know who you're meeting that are telling you that that's too big, but he needs to give his head a wobble
I don't deny you the right to feel shitty about yourself if you're bigger than you'd like, but I am surprised to see someone who is 'usually an 8/10' joining in a discussion about big women and body image
Do you think that a 12 is fat / big or is it that you just don't like it on you? |
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"
I am right in thinking that Size 8-10 is at the lower end of womens clothes sizing and that a 12 is still a smaller (verging towards average) size?
I don't know who you're meeting that are telling you that that's too big, but he needs to give his head a wobble
I don't deny you the right to feel shitty about yourself if you're bigger than you'd like, but I am surprised to see someone who is 'usually an 8/10' joining in a discussion about big women and body image
Do you think that a 12 is fat / big or is it that you just don't like it on you? "
Apparently the average dress size in the UK is 16. The thing is, dress size alone doesn't demonstrate body shape. A lot depends on height, fat distribution etc. I'm a 16, sometimes 18 but am obese. Some taller women might be a 16 but a normal BMI. But dress size 8-10 is considered on the smaller side, yes. |
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I've found that most of the guys I've chatted to either genuinely don't mind or actively like a larger lady, or if they don't they soon loose interest and stop replying.
There are still days I wonder if someone is actually attracted to me or just saying it to get their balls wet. But by the time we get round to playing theres no doubt the guys don't mind/like my size.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I spent a long time worrying I wasn't good looking enough because of my size. Now I have found a new found confidence in myself and embrace my.curves. my husband telling me daily im gorgeous and sexy.  - Mrs x |
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I posted some pretty blatantly unflattering pics in my public photos, simply so I'm not worrying what guys will think if we meet up! And yeah, some won't fancy you, but you won't fancy all guys, that's fine! Meeting socially first eg for a coffee can help with nerves, as can going to a club where you feel comfortable and can be sociable even if you don't play x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets.
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult.
I have in the past thought do myself .... well fuck them... if I met them and they don’t like my body then they can just fuck off.
Doesn’t work all the time though but sometimes it does.
I am usually pretty good on my diet 80% of the time but recently Iv been shocking so feel worse then ever!!
Doesn’t help that I met someone once when I was a size 12, we shagged on and off for 4 hours and then he told me he didn’t want to see me again as I was too big for him
I now usually hang around at a 8/10 but in this last lockdown I’m more of an 12 as I haven’t stopped eating 24/7! So I won’t meet now til I lose some weight
I am right in thinking that Size 8-10 is at the lower end of womens clothes sizing and that a 12 is still a smaller (verging towards average) size?
I don't know who you're meeting that are telling you that that's too big, but he needs to give his head a wobble
I don't deny you the right to feel shitty about yourself if you're bigger than you'd like, but I am surprised to see someone who is 'usually an 8/10' joining in a discussion about big women and body image
Do you think that a 12 is fat / big or is it that you just don't like it on you? "
The original women’s question was ‘Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting?’
You can be any size, even a 8/10 and feel insecure about the size you are. Worrying about how you look and the size you are isn’t exclusive to ‘big women’.
Are my feelings less valid then someone that’s a size 16/18/20? It’s still the same feeling and the same worry regardless.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've found that most of the guys I've chatted to either genuinely don't mind or actively like a larger lady, or if they don't they soon loose interest and stop replying.
There are still days I wonder if someone is actually attracted to me or just saying it to get their balls wet. But by the time we get round to playing theres no doubt the guys don't mind/like my size.
"
Exactly how my meets have been i just enjoy the mutual fun, body size isnt a thought for me, last meet was a bigger size and just great, nice person, great laugh and knew how to have fun, the main things i want from someone im meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets.
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult.
I have in the past thought do myself .... well fuck them... if I met them and they don’t like my body then they can just fuck off.
Doesn’t work all the time though but sometimes it does.
I am usually pretty good on my diet 80% of the time but recently Iv been shocking so feel worse then ever!!
Doesn’t help that I met someone once when I was a size 12, we shagged on and off for 4 hours and then he told me he didn’t want to see me again as I was too big for him
I now usually hang around at a 8/10 but in this last lockdown I’m more of an 12 as I haven’t stopped eating 24/7! So I won’t meet now til I lose some weight
I am right in thinking that Size 8-10 is at the lower end of womens clothes sizing and that a 12 is still a smaller (verging towards average) size?
I don't know who you're meeting that are telling you that that's too big, but he needs to give his head a wobble
I don't deny you the right to feel shitty about yourself if you're bigger than you'd like, but I am surprised to see someone who is 'usually an 8/10' joining in a discussion about big women and body image
Do you think that a 12 is fat / big or is it that you just don't like it on you? "
I clearly go for some real twats too
Average female in the U.K. is a 16 I think.
I just don’t like a size 12 on myself personally. Non of my clothing fit nicely or lingerie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Trust me there are men out there loving larger lady’s... just looked at your pics and my man would absolutely love you! When we watch films it always has to be curvy lady’s..., and has to have a belly that moves
Embrace it X |
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I have had several meets and they have all gone well and all have wanted to see me again. Start off with a social and see if there is chemistry - you might end up not fancying them. Chat for a while to make sure you like their personality first too.
Good luck and go have a ball(or two)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've found that most of the guys I've chatted to either genuinely don't mind or actively like a larger lady, or if they don't they soon loose interest and stop replying.
There are still days I wonder if someone is actually attracted to me or just saying it to get their balls wet. But by the time we get round to playing theres no doubt the guys don't mind/like my size.
"
Got to say, the thing I draw from your profile and pics the most, is a happy smiley person, and that to me is the most attractive trait. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I put off meets all the time due to my weight.
If Iv had a shit weekend with food it’s even worse and il rearrange meets.
Exactly this. How do you stop this mindset though? It's so difficult.
I have in the past thought do myself .... well fuck them... if I met them and they don’t like my body then they can just fuck off.
Doesn’t work all the time though but sometimes it does.
I am usually pretty good on my diet 80% of the time but recently Iv been shocking so feel worse then ever!!
Doesn’t help that I met someone once when I was a size 12, we shagged on and off for 4 hours and then he told me he didn’t want to see me again as I was too big for him
I now usually hang around at a 8/10 but in this last lockdown I’m more of an 12 as I haven’t stopped eating 24/7! So I won’t meet now til I lose some weight
I am right in thinking that Size 8-10 is at the lower end of womens clothes sizing and that a 12 is still a smaller (verging towards average) size?
I don't know who you're meeting that are telling you that that's too big, but he needs to give his head a wobble
I don't deny you the right to feel shitty about yourself if you're bigger than you'd like, but I am surprised to see someone who is 'usually an 8/10' joining in a discussion about big women and body image
Do you think that a 12 is fat / big or is it that you just don't like it on you?
The original women’s question was ‘Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting?’
You can be any size, even a 8/10 and feel insecure about the size you are. Worrying about how you look and the size you are isn’t exclusive to ‘big women’.
Are my feelings less valid then someone that’s a size 16/18/20? It’s still the same feeling and the same worry regardless.
"
No, not at all
That's why I asked
Way up there somewhere, I mentioned my own experience of 'dismorphia'
My head knows that whilst I'm chubby, I'm not huge, but that doesn't stop me feeling like a Klump |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Size only matters to the individual some guys love a larger lady, some guys will say anything to get there leg over and some like me like the slimmer lady my personal type is normally no bigger than a size 12 but I don't go asking sizes it's all to do with atraction if I fancy someone I fancy them regardless of size simple |
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"Attraction is so much more than body size or shape for us but I think for some it really matters!
And wtf is ‘gym fit’ apart from pretentious!"
In normal times, I go to the gym but I don't think I conform to the description of "gym fit" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
hello everyone,
im blown away by the positivity on here and thank each and every one of you who took the time to post. equally the private messages of support both from men and women have literally been overwhelming, you're such a bunch of lovely people.
(i am saddened though that an awful lot of us feel the same way as i do)
i literally had a good ole cry earlier and feel a bit better for it. time to pull my big girls pants up and get on with it. i dont want life to pass me by any longer. i am what i am and i need to accept that being me isnt that bad.
thank you all again xxxx |
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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
I couldn’t of put it better myself.
We’d get more meets/playtime in clubs if I was more attractive. |
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Sadly it seems the barriers in our way are of our own creation. It's not our bodies that are wrong, it's our mindsets. The key to success is to go forward with confidence knowing we are sexy and desirable. If we have that mindset the rest will sort its self out. That attitude is the key to sexiness. Well thats the theory but I think we all know its really easier said than done. I must admit we are both fans of larger proportions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hoping not to offend anyone but i saw a larger lady for 4 years who permanently was battling her weight. However..she was confident sassy and it was the best sex i ever had....which was down to the connection we had. If she had had a personality which would make you want to watch paint dry...she cluld of had the most amazing body ever...i would not have enjoyed it.
Even though she was large..to me she was the whole package....even when her hubby joined in it was great fun. Celebrate your curves ladies..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm a size 18 but with a very wobbly mum-tum and bit of an apron, which I am so, so insecure about. It does put me off approaching a lot of people, especially couples where the woman is very slim and toned because I cannot imagine that they would like my body shape and jiggles.
My actual pre-covid experiences, however, really should have put those worries to rest because I've had lovely comments from lots of people during and after meets. But that's the nature of insecurity; it's not rational, and getting rid of it has to come from within yourself and learning to love the wobbly bits and squishy parts for yourself.
For me, I adore women with the same body type as me. I love the softness and could run my hands over a jelly belly all day long.
I have recently realised that men also have a lot of hang-ups around body size; thinking they're too skinny or not toned enough if they don't look like Chris Hemsworth. And the obvious worries many seem to have over cock size.
I'd like to think of swinging as a community which is first and foremost about acceptance and body positivity. We are all hot, sexy folks to at least one other person on here! Balls to the idea that only slim and toned people get to feel sexy! |
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"I'm a size 18 but with a very wobbly mum-tum and bit of an apron, which I am so, so insecure about. It does put me off approaching a lot of people, especially couples where the woman is very slim and toned because I cannot imagine that they would like my body shape and jiggles.
My actual pre-covid experiences, however, really should have put those worries to rest because I've had lovely comments from lots of people during and after meets. But that's the nature of insecurity; it's not rational, and getting rid of it has to come from within yourself and learning to love the wobbly bits and squishy parts for yourself.
For me, I adore women with the same body type as me. I love the softness and could run my hands over a jelly belly all day long.
I have recently realised that men also have a lot of hang-ups around body size; thinking they're too skinny or not toned enough if they don't look like Chris Hemsworth. And the obvious worries many seem to have over cock size.
I'd like to think of swinging as a community which is first and foremost about acceptance and body positivity. We are all hot, sexy folks to at least one other person on here! Balls to the idea that only slim and toned people get to feel sexy! "
Yess girl x exactly this x I'm the same 2 kids, 2 dodgy c section scars and a sad looking tummy lol but it gave us our beautiful children and I can't change it without surgery that I wouldnt waste my money on x self acceptance us hard and constantly needs working on but meeting some wonderful people on here really helps x |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I’m 6ft 2 and a size 26. I often worry that men won’t like what they see because I’m not the typical idea of what is attractive.
My private pics display my body in all its fat glory, I am your typical apple shape. Huge belly, hips and arse and my boobs are saggy. Think Dawn French in her Vicar of Dibley days, but with longer legs.
But it is what it is. Life is too short to worry about it if you have no desire to change it (which I don’t at the moment - life gets in the way).
I have social meets first anyway, partly to check that I don’t scare the men off.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?
I couldn’t of put it better myself.
We’d get more meets/playtime in clubs if I was more attractive."
Aw Im sure that's not true xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sadly it seems the barriers in our way are of our own creation. It's not our bodies that are wrong, it's our mindsets. The key to success is to go forward with confidence knowing we are sexy and desirable. If we have that mindset the rest will sort its self out. That attitude is the key to sexiness. Well thats the theory but I think we all know its really easier said than done. I must admit we are both fans of larger proportions."
Agree its all in the mindset and that's the biggest hurdle.
I've taken the comments on board and have now decided to change how I interact with guys on here. A full body pic will be sent within the first few messages, that way it doesn't waste anyones time if the attraction isnt mutual |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hoping not to offend anyone but i saw a larger lady for 4 years who permanently was battling her weight. However..she was confident sassy and it was the best sex i ever had....which was down to the connection we had. If she had had a personality which would make you want to watch paint dry...she cluld of had the most amazing body ever...i would not have enjoyed it.
Even though she was large..to me she was the whole package....even when her hubby joined in it was great fun. Celebrate your curves ladies..
"
Great post. No offence taken.
You're the type of guy I want to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m perfectly happy talking to and hoping to meet a larger lady. I prefer curvy women and I’m not exactly slim myself.
My issue is height as I’m only 5’7”, so I’m my head it seems odd I’d I where to go for a women 5’10” + |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
You are a stunner & i for one would run over hot coals to spend time with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
You look bloody awesome in photos so I wouldn’t worry lol.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'll reiterate what many others have said already. If a guy is talking to you after seeing your pics, he most likely doesn't care. If he does, that's his problem not yours and he doesn't deserve you.
Also in addition to individual taste, standards of beauty are not the same everywhere. I personally have never understood the western obsession for thin women. If you are slim good for you. If you aren't, it doesn't make you less beautiful.
Your figure isn't all that makes you beautiful and be rest assured lots of guys prefer a curvier or fuller figure. |
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"Does your size/weight hold you back from meeting? I'm the heaviest I have ever been due to various reasons and although I tell guys straight from the off i'm large and they say they dont mind, im not quite convinced thats true. I look in the mirror and im repulsed so I think if I feel that way so will they. Now i find myself making excuses about not meeting (once its safe to do so obviously).
Guys is it a case of you will literally say anything to get your leg over or when you say size doesnt matter, it really doesnt?"
I think lots of people have put weight on during lockdown so wouldn't worry to much. And I've always found the swinging community to be much less body shaming than the general population. Having attended a few bbw events at clubs(remember them?) I noticed that there was a definite fan base for the curvy girl! |
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During a tantra session, I see true beauty. There are rare exceptions but that is when the inner person is deeply unpleasant. Build and age are quite irrelevant. It's not because I want to get my leg over, either - it rarely ends that way. You may be uncomfortable about your body but in a state of complete relaxation you can enjoy it and accept your own divine essence. Gorgeous is in you, not how you perceive your body. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
For the past year and a half I've been struggling with extra weight. Obviously with Covid restrictions I haven't been meeting but I'm not feeling too confident about meeting someone new until I have shifted some of it.
That's not because of how I look, but how I feel physically.
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By *aznlouCouple
over a year ago
co durham |
I’m also the biggest I’ve ever been, trying to lose it again as I feel utterly disgusting every time I see myself. Tempted not to meet until I feel more comfortable with my weight/shift the weight |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m also the biggest I’ve ever been, trying to lose it again as I feel utterly disgusting every time I see myself. Tempted not to meet until I feel more comfortable with my weight/shift the weight "
ladies you're not alone in these thoughts i can assure you. dont you think half the battle is actually feeling physically ok? i know with the extra weight im carrying my joints ache, my belly, ass and thighs wobble and can be very uncomfortable. another concern is "performing". im not as flexible as i used to be.
putting pressure on ourselves to lose the weight probably isnt healthy either.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"During a tantra session, I see true beauty. There are rare exceptions but that is when the inner person is deeply unpleasant. Build and age are quite irrelevant. It's not because I want to get my leg over, either - it rarely ends that way. You may be uncomfortable about your body but in a state of complete relaxation you can enjoy it and accept your own divine essence. Gorgeous is in you, not how you perceive your body. "
cant say ive ever tried tantra...always willing to give another go once |
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