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Am I being unreasonable?
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I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My view is that if it's what you want/need... does it matter if it's unreasonable?
He has the option to either do it or say "No, thank you" and walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
Not unreasonable not all. It is a simple request and if he can't be bothered to make an small effort then why does him expect you to make the same? js |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
However people feel about the request , it's your profile ...your way ..and if it is stated that's what you want , why did he waste his time engaging with you if he's not prepared to do it . This is assuming he contacted you first .
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He is verified ( I assume by more than 1 person) and he's willing to go on cam : so likelihood that he might be genuine is there.
Maybe he doesn't want to give a photo of his face to strangers?
Maybe you can compromise and ask him to send a pic of him holding the glass of milk without the face?
Or if seeing his face is important to you, then as he suggested, cam with him?
Or just move on to the next person if it's easier or if your gut feeling tell you something is not right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it unreasonable but that's irrelevant. He's not respecting your wishes at this stage, what makes you believe he will when you are in a more vulnerable position (should it get that far)
I'd block and move on and not waste my time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose he may wonder himself if you aren’t willing to cam / video call? Could you not compromise on that stance. If not, perhaps just be clear it’s the way you operate and that’s unfortunately his choice.
Some people do prefer to have live conversation as such, rather than send a photo over the internet. All personal preference I suppose. I wouldn’t class it as unreasonable but if you feel you’ve connected well you could explain your logic to him, and his to you, and hopefully between you, find a solution. I’d be comfortable with both if I felt I could trust the other person. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
One can't help being wary with online encounters, as there are people online who are not what, or who, they say they are.
But, some people won't want to send a stranger a photo of them doing something specific, because they might not trust who they are sending it to.
When I first started meeting from the Internet I asked a man to send me a photo of him doing something specific as he had modelling photos on his profile. He obliged; it was him, and we met.
I don't particularly like camming to prove myself, as some men will have a sly wank as I'm talking.
Ultimately, it's down to the individual and we have respect that.
I say, go with gut instincts. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"I don't think it unreasonable but that's irrelevant. He's not respecting your wishes at this stage, what makes you believe he will when you are in a more vulnerable position (should it get that far)
I'd block and move on and not waste my time "
Agree with this |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
I’d move on. As said previously, what other wishes would he not follow? Wearing a condom? Ignoring safe words?
It’s sad to say but it’s supply and demand. There’s 10,000 males on here for every guy that doesn’t respect your wishes. Move on and forget about him.
I wouldn’t block him though, if you got on well with him, he might take the hint when you don’t bother replying to him and get a picture of him covered in milk lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not unreasonable at all.
I’ve asked for similar things from women that have approached me, many have obliged, many haven’t.
If they don’t want to do it then that’s up to them, I just move on.
I like doing requests, especially amusing ones.
Last one I asked for was to have her put a banana to her ear like a phone. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"I can understand him not wanting to jump through your hoops "
But it is on her profile, so, assuming he read it, he had the option not to engage with her if he wasn't willing to comply. |
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"
I like doing requests, especially amusing ones.
Last one I asked for was to have her put a banana to her ear like a phone."
I worry that if I made a request the girl would be like “thanks but no thanks *block*” |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me?
Not unreasonable not all. It is a simple request and if he can't be bothered to make an small effort then why does him expect you to make the same? js"
Perhaps that's his way of thinking also. Perhaps for him, asking her to go on cam is the same as her asking for a pic of him drinking milk. Why is he any more obliged to do as she asks as she is obliged to do as he asks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I like doing requests, especially amusing ones.
Last one I asked for was to have her put a banana to her ear like a phone.
I worry that if I made a request the girl would be like “thanks but no thanks *block*” "
That hasn’t happened once in all the years I’ve been here.
However, I’d be perfectly happy If it did...
Just means were not compatible in my eyes. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me?
Not unreasonable not all. It is a simple request and if he can't be bothered to make an small effort then why does him expect you to make the same? js
Perhaps that's his way of thinking also. Perhaps for him, asking her to go on cam is the same as her asking for a pic of him drinking milk. Why is he any more obliged to do as she asks as she is obliged to do as he asks? "
I don't think anyone is any more obliged, however, she states on her profile about asking for a pic & how she feels about cam/Skype so he had that information when initial contact was made. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly for me it's a grey area, I've never asked anyone to send a proof photo but I have been asked many times for a picture with paper with the persons name date and time or a fork or whatever wierd and wonderful thing the person comes up with, whenever I'm asked it does always set me slightly on edge and j think why should I jusmp through hoops just to please you... Ultimately tho I find if I'm very serious about my intentions to meet the person then I will just send it without a fuss and if I'm like  ffs i really can't be bothered with finding a pen and paper to make stupid notes to take pictures with it tends to mean that I obviously wasn't that interested in the first place so hjust let the conversation fizzle out |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
Maybe swap milk for OJ. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't think anyone is any more obliged, however, she states on her profile about asking for a pic & how she feels about cam/Skype so he had that information when initial contact was made. "
This specifically is why id just block and move on OP.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you need to come to a compromise which suits you both. He won't do what you want and equally you won't do what he wants.
Either compromise or move on. |
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He's not jumping through your hoops and you're not jumping through his. It's a catch 22. You say you have a connection so don't know what more you want. You chat, you connect then facetime or swap numbers then chat. That's usually the flow of meeting people instead of a process that in my eyes you've just made it awkward. Don't waste any more of his time
R |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
It sounds like he thinks your request is udderly ridiculous and he's going to "milk it" by delaying it for as long as he can.
Tell him to pull the udder one and find another woman |
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
How do you know he’s lovely?
Normally takes a few years of living with someone to establish how lovely or not they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've connected with a lovely guy and as is my way, as it states on my profile, I asked him to send me from his phone, a photo. I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)
He has so far not done so and we have gone back and forth with this. He wants to cam/ Skype but I told him I don't like to to do this until I get to know a guy (again its on my profile) I find it very intrusive... But am I being unreasonable? He appears to have veris but... I'm so mistrustful of even that as I have been 'had' quite a few times now...is it me? "
Stay to your own rules. In simple terms its your profile and he’s responding to it. |
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Easiest for excuse with this one is to say that you have 'a friend' who has been burned in that situation before, and you don't want to take that risk.
Some people can be pushy and if you are vague about exactly what you are protecting yourself from, they will try and get around them.
Your boundaries are completely valid.
There is an active market of scammers who try and get people into compromising positions on camera for the purposes of extortion . No need sugarcoat |
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"I simply asked him to drink a glass of milk.. (one guy didn't like milk so stuck a post it note on a glass, which had me in stitches..)"
I’d happily do requests but maybe not milk in case it looked like I was drinking something else?  |
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Just block and move on. You’re not comfortable and clearly neither is he. You’re not compatible, end of.
I find it a bit odd that your profile states you’ll report and block someone for refusing a specific pic you request. Block I get, but report? What rule does saying no break? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No reasons for not sending a pic! but maybe he is scared of been cat-fished himself..it does happen for single male too!  "
Neither is unreasonable. Just not compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I don't think you are being unreasonable being a single lady so you have to be a tad cautious. Its how real life is unfortunately.
As another wonderful lady who used to be on Fab once told me: "If a man REALLY wants a lady he fancies off here he'd crawl naked across broken glass and red hot coals if she was waiting at the other end for him"
A glass of milk is being let off lightly! |
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I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. It’s not like you’re asking him to shave his head. It’s posing for a pic so you know he’s genuine. Can’t think of a reason a fella wouldn’t do that if he was keen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not so unreasonable.. when we decide to engage on kik we require a live face pic and return one just to make sure everyone is who they say they are. And weve still had people down right refuse and others who are completely different to the original face pic they've sent. |
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