FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are there too many of us ?

Are there too many of us ?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

subjective to opinion lol. I’m 5.11 and a athletic build. Probably kinkier than the average person but not as much as others. Anyway my point is are there too many blokes that fit my profile for one of us to stand out without getting to know our personality ? And is getting to know someone well,?something you do in this site or is it more a tap and hit sort of thing ? Ps my open messages probably don’t help

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

There are a lot of men on fab it's true. I don't know the age or type of woman you're contacting but the main problem isn't the number of men on fab but the number of those men who are contacting a relatively small percentage of the women who are already outnumbered anyway . I've seen it said that some single women receive 500 messages a day. Compare that to the 5 or 6 a week that we receive and you'll see that the chances of us reading and replying are probably higher than the chances of those women replying.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

That many of us blokes on here really have to stand out, it's the way it is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are loads of guys on here, and even as a couple, we get loads of messages.

The people that stand out for us, are the ones who in their opening message have clearly read our profile, and composed an interesting message. Doesn't matter how good looking anyone is, a dick pic and "hi, how're you?" does nothing to make you stand out. Put your personality into the opening message.

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By *sm265Woman over a year ago

Shangri-la

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

I'd say that a major part of the problem is the sheer number of men compared to women on the site, but I'd also say that a lot (not all! ) of the men would like it to be a 'tap & hit' sort of thing but, unfortunately them, because of the ratio, the women can afford to be selective.

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By *lan157Man over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

The point is OP that Fab is not the swinging world per se. It's a useful component or device to enable people to participate.Fab forums are fun and some people like to use it to post photos or videos of themselves for mutual enjoyment but as a means of meeting other swingers or having conversations it has it's limitations . When things get back to normal and socials start up again I think you will find that attending those will bring you closer to like minded people than being just another message in an oversubcribed inbox .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

I also think sometimes you can hit lucky. We have had a few more spontaneous meets where we have been looking for someone more last minute and the man just happened to message and we by passed all the usual getting to know you banter. And we went on to have a fantastic meet. Target who you really would like to meet with messages directed at them. Good luck

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple over a year ago

Bexley

I thinkquite a lot of guys tend to send messages to those they see in regularly in the chatrooms and gallery, some of whom are getting thousands of FABS for their images in a single day. They almost certainly get hundreds of messages too so are unlikely to reply. A better approach is to avoid the easy option and do a proper search using the filters available to find females or couples who aren't quite so 'visible' here. They may not appear in the top pics section every day or be on cam in the chatrooms all the time but that doesn't mean they're not looking.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

"There are a lot of men on fab it's true. I don't know the age or type of woman you're contacting but the main problem isn't the number of men on fab but the number of those men who are contacting a relatively small percentage of the women who are already outnumbered anyway . I've seen it said that some single women receive 500 messages a day. Compare that to the 5 or 6 a week that we receive and you'll see that the chances of us reading and replying are probably higher than the chances of those women replying.

Some really good points here. If you are mostly contacting the super hot then don't hold your breath for a response - many of them are just here to drive traffic to their fan page. So it wouldn't matter how good your initial message is, these people are either not engaging anyone or just a small percentage of their inbox.

Also as most aren't meeting at the moment, a lot of people don't see the point of responding.

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By *oxy lady40Woman over a year ago

bridgwater

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

"
as a single woman the amount of messages I get in a day if very overwhelming, so it not possible to reply to every message

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By *ain and sortedMan over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex

Some really good points made on here, I fou d my way in tge swinging world by going to clubs, interacting with others I fond easier than trying to work out what people were looking for, I can imagine the amount of messages single ladies and couples get, so just bulk delete it saves them time. Then start again when they fancy play again, I try and read the profiles to get an insight as to what they are looking for

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Tbh I don’t contact that many woman. My reason being I understand that there are a lot of pests, which I don’t wish to be one of. So I fab photos and think if they are interested they would find me. The ones I do contact probably half reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are loads of guys on here, and even as a couple, we get loads of messages.

As a decent message from a single male is pretty rare even if they are not for us or like now we aren't meeting due to covid we will always reply to a well thought out message where its clear they have read our profile and address US BOTH with respect.

Sadly for every 100 messages from single males you will maybe get 2 or 3 decent messages.

This just shows the the site is flooded with single and not single / cheating men looking for sex. They try the single women first and when that doesn't work try the couple profiles but the truth is they are the furthest thing from a swinger possible.

Tucked deep in that pile are the genuine single guys who understand and embrace the swinging scene for whom sleeping with a couple / 3sums is a genuine interest / kink for them.

We are lucky to have a number of single male genuine swingers we call friends.

Also these single male swingers don't seem to have the same problems finding meets on fab, receiving party invites, getting onto selected single male lists in clubs etc. Funny that isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’m working on adding more personality into my messages x

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By *AYENCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

A very common complaint on this site is that the vast majority of single guys have absolutely zero personality, or if they have, they have no clue how to express it.

Some like to use this site to meet and get to know people, some just for the sex. It should be fairly clear which camp people are in by their profile, and perhaps by the number of (meet) verifications they have. You op, just need to decide which camp you're in, as it's difficult to have one foot in both camps.

Those that can't accommodate and use the word 'discrete' (without full explanation) on their profile might reduce their chances with some, but not all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those that can't accommodate and use the word 'discrete' (without full explanation) on their profile might reduce their chances with some, but not all. "

If people (not just men!) can't accommodate, honesty about it helps. It could be children, for example, at home making it difficult but often it means attached.

A lot if people don't want to get involved with drama unknowingly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

Exact body types doesn't seem to affect things - I'm not an athletic buildbut played rugby, cricket, squash, etc so not unfit but definitely towards the 'dad bod' end of things!

How you connect with people makes the difference, with so many single men on here it's not always easy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me and my partner have only been on this site for a few weeks.

We have stated why we are on this site, but we have had far more male attention and very little female attention.

I get that most men are here for one thing and that puts a lot of woman off. But with my missus, she’s not looking for a bloke, she desires a woman.

I just hope she find the woman she’s looking for.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Tbh I don’t contact that many woman. My reason being I understand that there are a lot of pests, which I don’t wish to be one of. So I fab photos and think if they are interested they would find me. The ones I do contact probably half reply. "

I can’t speak for other women, but I don’t even know who’s fabbed my photos. I don’t look. And if I did, I wouldn’t then contact them any more than I’d contact someone who winks me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

My profile states that I am straight but the vast majority of messages I get are from men. I can only imagine other people have similar experiences

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What do winks mean to you ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Those are great points thank you. I no clue got to express my personality through text. The reason I’m discreet which I will add to my profile is that I am a professional in a profession in which my sexual ambitions may be a topic of interest

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"What do winks mean to you ? "

To who? Me?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me and my partner have only been on this site for a few weeks.

We have stated why we are on this site, but we have had far more male attention and very little female attention.

I get that most men are here for one thing and that puts a lot of woman off. But with my missus, she’s not looking for a bloke, she desires a woman.

I just hope she find the woman she’s looking for."

As a couple ourselves we would meet single females and we are very much looking for single females who want to play with us both.

A lot of couples come on her looking for a single female to play with the wife whilst hubby watches. Most single females we know wouldn't entertain that. Why would they want to put on a show for somebody's hubby they are here for there own pleasure.

It maybe be worth clarifying what exactly your looking for.

E.g. is your wife / partner looking to meet other females for 1 on 1 fun. I.e. the male partner not present.

Or like us do you both want to play with the female together equally.

Finally is this the senario where the male wants to watch his wife play with another female? (almost impossible to find)

Finally when many couple realise how hard any of the above is to find the compromise with one of the following -

They meet another couple similar to them with a bi sexual female. The ladys play together whilst both males watch and after the males join in with their own partners only all in the same room.

We have done that but then we are also a full swap couple as well. Our only limitation been that we only play together not solo.

We have had some amazing MFF experiences but all of them have been through clubs and parties. We have never been successful finding that in Fab.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

You are so right in what you are saying. It is so plain to see when you go through the local updates and the vast majority are single guys with their "any fun" "who's free in Dublin area" "need to fuck" statuses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I thinkquite a lot of guys tend to send messages to those they see in regularly in the chatrooms and gallery, some of whom are getting thousands of FABS for their images in a single day. They almost certainly get hundreds of messages too so are unlikely to reply. A better approach is to avoid the easy option and do a proper search using the filters available to find females or couples who aren't quite so 'visible' here. They may not appear in the top pics section every day or be on cam in the chatrooms all the time but that doesn't mean they're not looking."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me and my partner have only been on this site for a few weeks.

We have stated why we are on this site, but we have had far more male attention and very little female attention.

I get that most men are here for one thing and that puts a lot of woman off. But with my missus, she’s not looking for a bloke, she desires a woman.

I just hope she find the woman she’s looking for.

As a couple ourselves we would meet single females and we are very much looking for single females who want to play with us both.

It maybe be worth clarifying what exactly your looking for.

E.g. is your wife / partner looking to meet other females for 1 on 1 fun. I.e. the male partner not present.

Or like us do you both want to play with the female together equally.

Finally is this the senario where the male wants to watch his wife play with another female? (almost impossible to find)

Finally when many couple realise how hard any of the above is to find the compromise with one of the following -

They meet another couple similar to them with a bi sexual female. The ladys play together whilst both males watch and after the males join in with their own partners only all in the same room.

We have done that but then we are also a full swap couple as well. Our only limitation been that we only play together not solo.

We have had some amazing MFF experiences but all of them have been through clubs and parties. We have never been successful finding that in Fab.

Good luck

KJ"

I perfectly agree with what you’re saying and it makes perfect sense.

I have spoke with my partner about this and we are going to change what we are looking for on our account.

Thank you very much for that information. As newbies, me the the missus are so lost by all this.

Thanks again,

A&D.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

"There are loads of guys on here, and even as a couple, we get loads of messages.

Spot on! Also too many without any pictures expecting to meet with the first message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well availability and location are key I think. You are unlikely to meet people who live hundreds of miles away or if you can only meet on alternative wet Wednesdays.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmm it’s tough. I’ve 86 messages today that I’ve not read yet. Partly because I know we can’t meet for a while so I’m in no hurry. So maybe that’s what’s happening with your messages too? It’s hard to say x

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

Also be prepared to be frustrated a lot. No matter how much you read a person's profile and put personal effort into an interesting message because that person is the one for you, the chances are you won't get a reply. Frustrating as it is you just have to accept the few successes you get and keep in touch with them and forget those who don't respond.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t really check who fabs me, or look at winks, I glance over messages , and one with a good opening line from a decent profile would probably get read.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t really check who fabs me, or look at winks, I glance over messages , and one with a good opening line from a decent profile would probably get read. "

It's been ages since we had a really nice message from a single guy addressed to both us where they had clearly read our profile and communicated with intelligence and respect.

Had 1 or 2 well written but clearly generic messages that could be sent to anyone on mass, the rest are of the Hi, wanna fuck ilk

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Become a bowerbird.....its the only way.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

And men throw their toys out of their prams when women don't message back or open their messages

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I don’t really check who fabs me, or look at winks, I glance over messages , and one with a good opening line from a decent profile would probably get read.

It's been ages since we had a really nice message from a single guy addressed to both us where they had clearly read our profile and communicated with intelligence and respect.

Had 1 or 2 well written but clearly generic messages that could be sent to anyone on mass, the rest are of the Hi, wanna fuck ilk

KJ "

it's worst when they use the wrong name in their copy and paste

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By *asual_WandererWoman over a year ago

A spot you want me

"Those are great points thank you. I no clue got to express my personality through text. The reason I’m discreet which I will add to my profile is that I am a professional in a profession in which my sexual ambitions may be a topic of interest

Professional discretion is fine, but the issue with one photo is you can steal that from anywhere. Keep your face out (I do, bar friends) but look legit... esp if you want to catch those smart, articulate hotties

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The best way to think of it is

Your like a blade of grass in a very big field

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By *asual_WandererWoman over a year ago

A spot you want me

I'd also concur, fabs and winks are not gonna get noticed. Message and accept as others have said its gonna get disheartening or get involved in the forums, have a strong looking profile with decent pics and then I would imagine you'll get a few message you.

Good luck OP x

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

i seen the same butt pic used by several profiles. If you're going to steal a photo, don't use fab or Google

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I'd also concur, fabs and winks are not gonna get noticed. Message and accept as others have said its gonna get disheartening or get involved in the forums, have a strong looking profile with decent pics and then I would imagine you'll get a few message you.

Good luck OP x"

I ignore friend requests, winks, impersonal messages or quick profiles made in 2 minutes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t really check who fabs me, or look at winks, I glance over messages , and one with a good opening line from a decent profile would probably get read.

It's been ages since we had a really nice message from a single guy addressed to both us where they had clearly read our profile and communicated with intelligence and respect.

Had 1 or 2 well written but clearly generic messages that could be sent to anyone on mass, the rest are of the Hi, wanna fuck ilk

it's worst when they use the wrong name in their copy and paste

Yep had that a few times as well.

The other pet hate as a couple is getting the genetic copy and paste message that was clearly designed for a single woman.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m surprised you don’t get a lot more messages than that

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By *odgerMan over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London

I don’t really check who fabs me, or look at winks, I glance over messages , and one with a good opening line from a decent profile would probably get read.

It's been ages since we had a really nice message from a single guy addressed to both us where they had clearly read our profile and communicated with intelligence and respect.

Had 1 or 2 well written but clearly generic messages that could be sent to anyone on mass, the rest are of the Hi, wanna fuck ilk

it's worst when they use the wrong name in their copy and paste

Like a school report

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple over a year ago

darlington

Just persevere what I would say is its at least 50 percent luck right place right time when it's allowed try be available at short notice especially on a Friday and Saturday night and keep your eye on statuses local to you

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By *lint-EverhardMan over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Sorry, what was the question again? I got distracted. . .

Oh, not getting seen? Just keep on trucking pal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fabbing photos is lovely and we appreciate it, but please remember women get a lot more fabs than men. We don't check who fabs us if we get large numbers, so you shouldn't rely on that as a means of getting noticed.

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By *ourNextAddictionMan over a year ago

Somerset

Fab is like that additional accessory - you don’t need it but you like to have it.

Well how my relationship is with it - plus who really looks like their pictures? It’s online, never take anything on face value.

But back to it, it’s essentially a numbers game. In a polite way - too many will copy & paste a generic message & complain they get no reply.

If I message a woman & i get no reply. I’ll normally just block the account - I’m not going to resend multiple messages to get attention plus saves the additional hassle of maybe messaging again the future

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Fab is like that additional accessory - you don’t need it but you like to have it.

Well how my relationship is with it - plus who really looks like their pictures? It’s online, never take anything on face value.

I wonder why so many men have blocked me

But back to it, it’s essentially a numbers game. In a polite way - too many will copy & paste a generic message & complain they get no reply.

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By *unichMan over a year ago

I think you make some excellent points here.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I think you make some excellent points here."

Go for the less popular people... like dating the ugly girl at school that noone wants? yes I been there before, definitely don't want a desperado

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The more the merrier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you make some excellent points here.

Go for the less popular people... like dating the ugly girl at school that noone wants? yes I been there before, definitely don't want a desperado "

I don’t think the less ‘popular’ in terms of hot photos is necessarily the ugly girl at all?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t have a lot of experience in the swinging world. And this is just a observation. But I’ve been told I’m relatively attractive

Just try your best to stand out in your first message. A wee bit of effort goes a long way. Honestly the vast majority of messages I receive are so, so, so boring haha if I get a message that's maybe funny or interesting it does stand out!

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By *eediousMan over a year ago

Smallville

[Removed by poster at 12/03/21 12:30:57]

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By *eediousMan over a year ago

Smallville

In my opinion, a well-crafted message addressing the woman like a real person works like a charm. I just imagine I am meeting them for the first time face-to-face and channel what I’d say then, into a message. It isn’t hard, if you aren’t lazy or retarded.

I get messages from couples and women and it is amazing how many people have lost the art of a well-crafted message that addresses you like a person (and not a robot) and makes a good first impression.

I literally have had couples and women message me saying hey. Yeah, that definitely makes them seem interesting alright. Those tend to be young, so they may think they are texting. I don’t even bother responding.

Then you have the couples whose first message just puts you to sleep. The “I see you like .... on your profile”. No shit, Sherlock! I know what’s on my own profile. Tell me something I don’t know that will make me think hmmm and then make my cock hard.

But occasionally a gem comes through and makes it all worthwhile. But no need to take this seriously, it’s all part of the fun and when you meet a hottie and have kinky sex, it makes it all worthwhile.

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