FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why are men so indecisive?
Why are men so indecisive?
Jump to: Newest in thread
This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its very common and not just to couples. Some I even have found go offline or even just leave the site mid conversation.
But....I have also had it with single females and couples as well so it is just not single men. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's usually one of three reasons.
They lose their nerve.
They change their mind, which is their right.
They enjoy the fantasy but not the reality.
We found that most men we talked to pre lockdown were genuinely keen to meet though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some blokes are chancers, some are cheaters, some are fantasists and some just get cold feet.
Having said that, it isn't a trait which is unique to men by any stretch of the imagination. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's usually one of three reasons.
They lose their nerve.
They change their mind, which is their right.
They enjoy the fantasy but not the reality.
We found that most men we talked to pre lockdown were genuinely keen to meet though"
Number 4 the wife found out  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't know why it happens. For me, a bit of honesty as to whether or not you want to take things further should be enough and the rest is in arranging to meet up. That's the theory, but in practice?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe you read more into the situation than was there. Maybe he was just saying what you wanted to hear. Maybe he was using the situation and conversation to wank over. Who knows? Whatever his reasons and however pathetic they may be know that it is very much his loss x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago
Between a cock and a soft place |
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
It was really a woman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
Because, for a lot of men, being on this site and having the fantasy of meeting is enough. They don’t know that at the time, but it is.
The fantasy is never going to come true as it then wouldn’t be a fantasy any more, they would be engaging with the real world - and escaping the real world is what they came here to do.
No criticism or judgement here, just a theory. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thank you for all your responses. I am relieved it is not just me. I also need to add that my/our experience with women has been different - once a girl makes her mind up, she generally follows through. But this may be just my experience.
M |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's usually one of three reasons.
They lose their nerve.
They change their mind, which is their right.
They enjoy the fantasy but not the reality.
We found that most men we talked to pre lockdown were genuinely keen to meet though
Number 4 the wife found out "
Seriously though I think men get a bad press when quite often they're displaying similar behaviour to single women. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
Some guys are full of shit, from.the very beginning.
others like the idea of it in their ead, but chicken out when its crunch time.
Some profiles are fake even men.
Maybe he looked at your partner and felt he couldnt measure up (wierd i know)
Advice, move on forget about them, plenty real people on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
i get this done to me quite often i think with some guys its about the chase and when someone agrees they have got what they wanted ..proof they can still pull i suspect most are married and have no intention of meeting ever |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can’t say why men ghost but it gives us genuine guys a difficult time. It is disheartening for those on the receiving end.
"
no it does not genuine guys a difficult time ...stop blaming others for your lack of success guys who fuck up fuck it up for themselves nobody else |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"I can’t say why men ghost but it gives us genuine guys a difficult time. It is disheartening for those on the receiving end.
no it does not genuine guys a difficult time ...stop blaming others for your lack of success guys who fuck up fuck it up for themselves nobody else "
Yes indeed! I'm the master of my destiny! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can’t say why men ghost but it gives us genuine guys a difficult time. It is disheartening for those on the receiving end.
no it does not genuine guys a difficult time ...stop blaming others for your lack of success guys who fuck up fuck it up for themselves nobody else "
This! A guy that sends me an abusive message or ghosts or whatever does not influence me
Ignoring or not being interested in others on here.
People need to take responsibility for their own meets or lack of them rather than saying the reason is other guys/women or that it’s the woman who is is rude for not replying to a random stranger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can be a bit guilty of this 
I can be talking for days and then il just stop or reply’s slow etc.
Honestly... I’m just busy with normal life & chatting to multiple people normally. I also find most men to be flakey as well.
Once Iv agreed to actually meet and a time/day is set up then il follow through but until Iv gave that information I may go quiet.
Also and this is probably unique to me but if I feel ‘fat’ before I meet. I hate going. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Could it be that they are excited by the prospect but then the reality of you being in a different country sets in. (Although you do list London)
Also the profile says that you don't meet single men so maybe change that as well.
Good luck
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
My guess would be be wasn't single and in fact could never meet but he may have been well verified and got cold feet or just decided you weren't for him after all.
It's very hard to know, so my advice would be to think of it as his loss and meet me instead when I am next in London, Belgium or Luxembourg!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
alot of people who like to chat rather than do! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because, for a lot of men, being on this site and having the fantasy of meeting is enough. They don’t know that at the time, but it is.
The fantasy is never going to come true as it then wouldn’t be a fantasy any more, they would be engaging with the real world - and escaping the real world is what they came here to do.
No criticism or judgement here, just a theory. "
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
some guys are here for the chase and nothing else once they get a yes you'll meet they go cold because they got what they wanted to feel wanted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *olly_AmberTV/TS
over a year ago
Live Sussex, Work London |
"Because, for a lot of men, being on this site and having the fantasy of meeting is enough. They don’t know that at the time, but it is.
The fantasy is never going to come true as it then wouldn’t be a fantasy any more, they would be engaging with the real world - and escaping the real world is what they came here to do.
No criticism or judgement here, just a theory.
This "
Definitely many men here on a fantasy, I think that’s also true of guys hitting on trans or gender queer people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In my experience chatters don’t meet and meeters don’t chat ...... if they want photos and filth talk (both of which I love but don’t do anymore) they’re unlikely to actually have the balls to meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *olly_AmberTV/TS
over a year ago
Live Sussex, Work London |
"In my experience chatters don’t meet and meeters don’t chat ...... if they want photos and filth talk (both of which I love but don’t do anymore) they’re unlikely to actually have the balls to meet. "
This could well be true, I’m so poor at messaging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's a real shame
I suppose that's what the verification system is for!!
If it makes you feel better, guys have that happen too! I once was chatting to a girl for weeks, arranged to meet at 1pm, and was block at 1.10pm after she said she was running late!
Jerks come in all genders!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it’s the pressure. Sometimes things can get intense too quickly, and what initially seemed like a fun idea suddenly seems a bit full on, and the fun side of it seems like it’s been replaced by someone wanting more of a connection and constant communication. Thus leading to getting cold feet and backing out.
I know I’ve done backed out because of that a few times x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ostafunMan
over a year ago
near ipswich |
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
Looking at your pictures milly they must all be mad.x  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly
It was really a woman. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my experience chatters don’t meet and meeters don’t chat ...... if they want photos and filth talk (both of which I love but don’t do anymore) they’re unlikely to actually have the balls to meet. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a general rant, not Corona times related. A typical situation is like this: a man gets in touch, there is a lot of mutual interest, I am very interested to meet him solo, or for a threesome, or both and am quite clear about. Then he stops any communication. Happens time and time again. Is this common?
Milly"
Women/girls do the same. Even block without any reason. So, obviously it's common for both genders. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
