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Sex whoopsies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Funniest thing ever heard "
Not if you were me |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Funniest thing ever heard
Not if you were me "
I'm really sorry but I'm crying with laughter  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified  "
She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Omg I'm crying Haha can you imagine how awkward that would be.i need to hear what was said straight after lol "
I said nothing I was getting sick
We ended up being a couple for years she even had the cheek to say it was my fault for giving her a intense orgasm
Fuck my luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She licked my balls,I kneed her in the face and off the bed, involuntary reaction. Never done it before, dont like it so won't be again. She was fine and laughed about it. I thought for a minute I had knocked her out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry! |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
What makes you think it was an accident ????"
What? She faked coming? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
What makes you think it was an accident ????
What? She faked coming? "
Think they mean she might of wanted to shit on his head |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry! "
did you laugh that hard you shit yourself tho lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry! did you laugh that hard you shit yourself tho lol x"
Managed to hold it in
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Are you sure that it was an accident lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Are you sure that it was an accident lol "
It better have been lol |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Are you sure that it was an accident lol
It better have been lol "
I think it's a fetish for some people isn't it?.
Sorry but this post has made my day and I laughed when I read it but like yourself I would probably throw up if it happened to me |
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My whoops was unintentionally horrible, I felt bad for her. This isn’t funny but it was very awkward. When she went on top her knee got me in the balls, I put my hand round her throat and said maybe it’s my turn to cause you a little pain. It’s not my place to say the reason it would be her place but instantly the mood changed. She wanted to leave, I picked her up so I had to take her home it’s safe to say that was the most awkward half hour of my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
"
you win no one will top that |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Have literally been sobbing with laughter reading that!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Funniest thing ever heard
Not if you were me "
And it didn't help with you hair loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A girl I was dating years back, collected Teddy Bears and in my younger more excitable days my aim was a bit off. Went to give her a facial and I came so hard I overshot her by some distance and got one of the bears in the face on the shelf behind her. She was fuming. The looks I got in the dry cleaners lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A girl I was dating years back, collected Teddy Bears and in my younger more excitable days my aim was a bit off. Went to give her a facial and I came so hard I overshot her by some distance and got one of the bears in the face on the shelf behind her. She was fuming. The looks I got in the dry cleaners lol"
Ha ha ha ha!! That’s hilarious... ! |
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"Once some girl was riding me ..:: biggish girl, anyways half way through we heard like a snap/ click and my Willy started hurting!! I soon went limp...: still don’t know to this day what happened "
She either broke your dick or she broke a hip. Either way you have a high pain threshold
R |
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"My whoops was unintentionally horrible, I felt bad for her. This isn’t funny but it was very awkward. When she went on top her knee got me in the balls, I put my hand round her throat and said maybe it’s my turn to cause you a little pain. It’s not my place to say the reason it would be her place but instantly the mood changed. She wanted to leave, I picked her up so I had to take her home it’s safe to say that was the most awkward half hour of my life"
I would have been heading for the hills too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Can't stop laughing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
that was no accident |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I'm crying with laughter here lol no point telling mine.. yours win ass down lol |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
OP,you have made my day! Possibly the funniest thing I will ever hear all year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
OMG she must've been mortified!! |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
OMG howling here....
You literally shagged the shit out of her pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not had too many fortunately.
I thought he had shit on his arse which were freckles and said something I shouldn't.
A position change miscommunication and we headbutted each other hard.
He came inside when I wasn't on birth control. Xx |
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That’s happened to me actually. Didn’t shit on his head, but on his tummy. After some very vigorous and well lubed anal play, decided to switch to reverse cowgirl. Had an intense orgasm which resulted in a fecal accident on his belly.
A few weeks later, same guy, during a rather insistent deep throating session (I did warn him I was gagging) I vomited on his belly.
Total mood killers both times.  |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
The first thing to make me really laugh in ages
Sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
What the fuck |
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I was between an ex’s legs giving him oral, I started kissing his balls and he farted, it stank!!!!! After he stopped laughing and I’ve stopped heaving, I went back down and he done it again. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed and the moment had definitely gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Puked on a guys dick while being spitroasted
Lost a butt plug inside my ass while vigorously riding my ex, legit nearly died of fright because I didn't think it was possible  I yanked that baby out like my life depended on and I bled all over his leg 
(Same ex) was on top during 69 and grinded his face so hard we drew blood
My plug-in wand exploded just after I had cum and burnt my ribs
Yea I've had a few whoopsies through the years  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
shit on it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That’s happened to me actually. Didn’t shit on his head, but on his tummy. After some very vigorous and well lubed anal play, decided to switch to reverse cowgirl. Had an intense orgasm which resulted in a fecal accident on his belly.
A few weeks later, same guy, during a rather insistent deep throating session (I did warn him I was gagging) I vomited on his belly.
Total mood killers both times. "
Are you sure you are not my ex sister lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I'm not even reading the rest of the comments, because none of them will possibly come close to this! |
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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago
A world all of his own |
Many years ago with an ex, we'd had sex and afterwards I thought she'd started her period. Nope, I'd slightly torn my "banjo string". Quite a lot of blood for such a small incident and I didn't even feel a thing. A day or two later and all was well. |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
OMG howling here....
You literally shagged the shit out of her pmsl"
Shouldn't that be locked the shit out of her, or headbutted lol |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Don’t think there needs to be any more msgs. You win gold everyone else get your coat we have a winner lol |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"My whoops was unintentionally horrible, I felt bad for her. This isn’t funny but it was very awkward. When she went on top her knee got me in the balls, I put my hand round her throat and said maybe it’s my turn to cause you a little pain. It’s not my place to say the reason it would be her place but instantly the mood changed. She wanted to leave, I picked her up so I had to take her home it’s safe to say that was the most awkward half hour of my life"
Fucking hell, that's not awkward, that's seriously disturbing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had 4some. Girls were playing and she down on mrs. Block said get in there so I did. He wanted Mrs so she turned to give me bj. Id been up her arse and it wasnt pleasent viewing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I had a similar situation years back. I was at a swinging party. Just chatting to a guy casually telling that I go scuba diving. He was telling me he wind surfs. Couple next to me were firting with me. She ask me did I like watersports. Yes I love watersports. We got down to a 3some. She was on top of me, he was standing over me getting sucked off. She got off and the 2 of them quickly started pissing on me when I realised "No I don't watetsports WTF " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified
She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick "
Bahahahaha you had to add puuuuuuuukkke to the scenario...lovely |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
I had a similar situation years back. I was at a swinging party. Just chatting to a guy casually telling that I go scuba diving. He was telling me he wind surfs. Couple next to me were firting with me. She ask me did I like watersports. Yes I love watersports. We got down to a 3some. She was on top of me, he was standing over me getting sucked off. She got off and the 2 of them quickly started pissing on me when I realised "No I don't watetsports WTF " "
Ha ha that’s quality !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Oh my that made me lol |
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My woopsie was with my ex she was on top going hell for leather we had a pine bed. Well the bed collapsed and the headboard came forward and hit her on the head, well I cracked up until blood was dripping down on me she needed 4 stitches. |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
I had a similar situation years back. I was at a swinging party. Just chatting to a guy casually telling that I go scuba diving. He was telling me he wind surfs. Couple next to me were firting with me. She ask me did I like watersports. Yes I love watersports. We got down to a 3some. She was on top of me, he was standing over me getting sucked off. She got off and the 2 of them quickly started pissing on me when I realised "No I don't watetsports WTF " "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was going down on a girl once and had a nose bleed and didn’t realise until I started tasting blood and come up from between her legs with a face full of blood. Not a good look lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ
Its not like im even that big
I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident
I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy |
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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago
harwich |
two girls at a party playing on a bed and one girl picked up a beer bottle and fucked the other with it her partner then went down on her and found a ciggarette but in her fanny went to the bathroom and rinsed several more out with the shower hose the bottle had been used as an ash tray |
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"two girls at a party playing on a bed and one girl picked up a beer bottle and fucked the other with it her partner then went down on her and found a ciggarette but in her fanny went to the bathroom and rinsed several more out with the shower hose the bottle had been used as an ash tray"
Personal hygiene for beginners |
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"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ
Its not like im even that big
I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident
I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy"
Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol |
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"two girls at a party playing on a bed and one girl picked up a beer bottle and fucked the other with it her partner then went down on her and found a ciggarette but in her fanny went to the bathroom and rinsed several more out with the shower hose the bottle had been used as an ash tray"
Ewwwwww smoker myself but never use beer bottle as an ashtray. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ
Its not like im even that big
I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident
I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy
Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol"
Hahah just noticed the OP is relatively near. But no it wasn't lol! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ
Its not like im even that big
I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident
I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy
Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol
Hahah just noticed the OP is relatively near. But no it wasn't lol!"
It must be something to do with the area lol |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry! "
Nice to read about others' comings and goings. |
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In a threeway where I was on my back and she was riding me, her boyfriend passed me some liquid gold (I was very naive to all that) and she accidentally threw her arm up at the same time causing a heck of a lot of it to go up my nose.... not....good..... |
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By *ammanMan
over a year ago
Tamworth |
I was in the swing in Chams. She was on her back. Me standing.. and going for it big time!
I just as I'm about to cum I lean forward. She cums big and curls upwards.
Head butting me in the throat! As I was going downwards fast. Shex was cumming up fast! BANG right in the throat!
I thought I was going to die! |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I think my sex life is tame compared to a lot of people on here judging by the forums!!!
I once met a girl from here who had never squirted.......until she met me. It flew in the air and hit her in the face. That was a great night haha |
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By *nt1Man
over a year ago
Allington |
My gf was bent over a sofa and i was ramming my dick all the way in and all the way out quite hard (she liked that) then one time while in full motion my cock jumped holes and i thrust my entire cock up to the root in her arse.... she was an arse virgin at the time so it was quite a shocking thing for her.
Another time i was with an older lady missionary. It was a good shag and i could feel her very wet. After a while i got up on my knees and saw she was bleeding like a sacrificed goat. I dont mean a bit of red on my dick i mean full flooding down to our knees. She was shocked as she'd not had a period for a few years. I just shrugged and carried on to the end. |
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By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago
nottingham/ derby |
Nothing to bad, have started my period unexpectedly many moons ago and had to have new matress and literally clean a scene from a murder, had assumed very wet n low light....
Cum so hard, literally bailed off the bed forgot where I was, not at home, and walked into a wall about knocked myself out....
Thankfully never had a poohnami as prep well, did over do it myself with a bum toy once and made myself bleed a lil, which I did panic n think it was brown.......but was fine. |
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Obviously the last one was a joke but this is true. I was in the toilets in Morrisons at the urinal and someone was in the cubicle next to them. I started to have a wank because there was a spy hole in the cubicle. I knew the guy in there was watching me because there was no sound and I was shocked when he came out and it was a member of staff. He asked me if I was having a play and I made some feeble excuse and left.since then he has followed me into the toilets for five times gone into the cubicle and watch me wank. |
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By *roticusCouple
over a year ago
Porthmadog |
With a previous and very dirty lover, who was a squirter - I spent a half hour under the bed clothes slowly licking her to an orgasm and she came very hard, squirting into my mouth as she came. When I emerged from the bedding we discovered she'd just come heavily on. I looked like Carrie and she pissed herself laughing.
So she got her orgasm and I got my red wings. |
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With my first boyfriend, I was just out of the shower and tried a sexy wet hair flip... misjudged the distance between us, sharply headered him upwards in the nose, he had a fucker of a nosebleed. He had nosebleed issues for months after, I felt dreadful!
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When I had my very first fab meet with my now fiancé we were having sex in a hotel room, him on top of me, all of the sudden I felt something wet landed on my face. It was his blood as his nose started bleeding quite badly.
Fun fact - We've known each other for over three and a half years now and he hasn't had a nosebleed since
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to Cyprus to spend a week with a guy who I'd met here but never in person
Yep no reprimands needed! wasn't the cleverest or safest thing I'd ever done!
Well I'd just developed epilepsy and was having a fuck it I want to live my life.
We met, got to the apartment and had a darn good fuck.
Second time I was riding him well ...... and had a full on seizure!! And was then in a post ictal phase (nonresponsive) for 20 mins!! He was terrified and rang my friend who was on my emergency list (he did know I had seizures)
We didnt fuck again, the rest of the whole week!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When me and my ex would change positions, she would often accidentally kick, hit or lean on my balls.
Thinking back on it, it might not have been accidental... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I had my very first fab meet with my now fiancé we were having sex in a hotel room, him on top of me, all of the sudden I felt something wet landed on my face. It was his blood as his nose started bleeding quite badly.
Fun fact - We've known each other for over three and a half years now and he hasn't had a nosebleed since
K"
You obviously took him to new heights lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was giving my wife oral while wearing my glasses. When she came she locked her legs around me and twisted like a pro wrestler. My glasses snapped in two. Explanations in the morning on how did I break my glasses to family were creative. Guess what I take them off now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
Actually laughed out loud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember a friend telling me once that he had anal with his gf for the first time and when he pulled out there was a piece of sweet corn stuck to his bellend lol |
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By *ozapperMan
over a year ago
Lancashire |
Both teenagers in my newly purchased Reliant Van after getting my motorcycle license two weeks earlier. Put an old matress in the back of the van as I played in a band at the time and it saved damaging the gear (well that's my excuse!). Girlfriend's parents were avid gardeners and had given me some home grown vegetables to take home to mum and dad.. yummy!
Anyway, on the way back home we stopped to get amorous in the back of 5he van on the matress and on hearing a sound outside turned the interior light on to find the whole of the matress blood red as though one of us had had a huge major bleed. Thinking the worst i.e. I had caused my girlfriend some major vaginal injury in our youthful exuberance, we both screamed out loud and hence the shenanegins were instantly curtailed, only to find out minutes after intimately examining ourselves that the staining was due to crushing and then splitting a bag of boiled beetroot I had been given by her parents!!!
Oh the relief to find the reason followed by lots of laughter!!!! |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
I just shit myself laughing at this hahaha...
Bet it was an unpleasant experience OP |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Both teenagers in my newly purchased Reliant Van after getting my motorcycle license two weeks earlier. Put an old matress in the back of the van as I played in a band at the time and it saved damaging the gear (well that's my excuse!). Girlfriend's parents were avid gardeners and had given me some home grown vegetables to take home to mum and dad.. yummy!
Anyway, on the way back home we stopped to get amorous in the back of 5he van on the matress and on hearing a sound outside turned the interior light on to find the whole of the matress blood red as though one of us had had a huge major bleed. Thinking the worst i.e. I had caused my girlfriend some major vaginal injury in our youthful exuberance, we both screamed out loud and hence the shenanegins were instantly curtailed, only to find out minutes after intimately examining ourselves that the staining was due to crushing and then splitting a bag of boiled beetroot I had been given by her parents!!!
Oh the relief to find the reason followed by lots of laughter!!!!"
 |
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Funniest thing ever heard
Not if you were me
I'm really sorry but I'm crying with laughter "
Apologies but me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fucking a ex from behind only for her mum to walk in,dove under her covers later on as my ex was getting a drink her mum says was you getting fucking in you bum was in her pussy but could walk passed her mum without thinking she know as we did do anal just not that time |
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I’ve had a few over the years.
My ex sister in law used to sleep walk and she climbed in the wrong bed with me and I woke up With a hard on thinking it was the wife playing with it. Turned out it was her sister who seemed still fast asleep.
Also had a girl demand it as hard as I could from behind and the condom broke. So put a new one on and that broke to. Didn’t have any more so had to settle for oral. I later complained to ‘Mates’ who sent me 200 condoms.
Was shagging an ex against a tree and I reached up to steady myself on a thick branch which broke, fell and hit her on the head. She required stitches |
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Had a friend who was getting hot and heavy from behind and decided that " who's your daddy" would be funny to say. The girl started violently sobbing. Turns out she had been abused by her father for years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you
I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head
Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified
She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick "
And henceforth he was know as Shithead, the man who had one curled on him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once when with an ex we were on holiday in Scotland and we were getting a bit freaky and I’d just finished a bottle of beer so we thought it’d be fun to insert into her pussy, just as I’m slowly sliding it in, my mum walks into the room. Both of us try to hide what we were doing under the covers but I think it was too late |
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wouldent have been so bad if I wasn't on top lol... I was so mortified 
