FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Who pays on a date?
Who pays on a date?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Personally, I like to sort out before a meal out, is this a date, or just friends going for a meal?
If it's a date, then they might get to pay, though I will always want/offer to contribute. Partly because I want to pay my way, and not be under pressure to 'put out' in payment afterwards. Have been known to be sneaky and pay towards the bill while I've been off to the loo. Can't argue then!!!!
If we're just friends, then it's definitely going 'Dutch', takes the pressure off, and we can order what we like instead of trying to be aware that the other is paying. Much more relaxing and no arguments.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
If we invite people to join us for a meal regardless of if its a date or friends then we pay, unless the other person(s) is adamant they must contribute.
Its not a covert contract, its more a case of we invited you and we would hate for you to be out of pocket if you hated our choice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I haven't dated for years but if I did now I'd want to go Dutch. If a guy felt he absolutely had to pay I'd let him but any further dates would need to be on a level footing.
When I go out with friends we just split the bill. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on the situation for me. If a guy has travelled to see me then I'll pay for the meal. If I've paid for a hotel room I'd expect him to pick up the meal.
If it's a local social and neither of us are more out of pocket than the other, I'd expect to split the bill.
If it's someone I see on a regularish basis then we take turns. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Old fashioned or just polite I'm not sure, but I'd always expect to pick up the bill on a first date. Without question. If she argued about it, that's fine, but I'd still pay! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I don't go on 'dates' with people on here. I meet them for a social or more, but it isn't a date & is usually either coffee or drinks not a full meal. I always pay my own way.
On a non fab date I will always offer to split the bill but it is sometimes nice to have someone really wine & dine me & spoil me a bit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always assume I'm gonna be paying my share when the bill comes, and order according to my bank balance. If he insists on meeting somewhere out of my price range we'll have already had the "who's paying?" conversation!
If it's somewhere I can afford but he insists on paying I won't be offended. If he assumes I'm paying I'll be very offended.
And if he starts factoring petrol costs into the bill then I'll still pay half, but I'll have a taxi booked before he gets on to wear and tear of the tyres and he'll be blocked the second I'm home  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
"It's interesting when people say "I'd want to pay [the guy] and even if she offered, I'd still pay." How does that work? "
Just do what I do.. we went out for a late night takeaway.. she went to pay.. I offered to pay so we ended up wrestling each others hands away from the contact less payment machine. We both laugh about it afters though lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I haven't checked every comment, but is it a generation thing? If I've asked someone out I'd always expect to pay.(although I have to admit to have been treated a couple of times in recent years!) I see it as my way of saying thank you for your company.NOT a deposit on expectations.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Actually, I've just realised that, if we're in a restaurant, I have a habit of saying, "No, it's OK, I'll pay half, but I'll let you take care of the tip."
You can tell so much from the tip he leaves! If he was happy to pay for my lobster ravioli, but throws coppers in for a tip - no thanks!
If he randomly throws down a note - he can't do mental maths. And I kinda fancy blokes who can... And grammar nerds!
If he rounds up 10% to the nearest pound (which is not difficult maths!) he's coming back to mine
God, I miss restaurants! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's interesting when people say "I'd want to pay [the guy] and even if she offered, I'd still pay." How does that work?
Just do what I do.. we went out for a late night takeaway.. she went to pay.. I offered to pay so we ended up wrestling each others hands away from the contact less payment machine. We both laugh about it afters though lol"
And who paid in the end, out of curiosity? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I know that whoever asked for the date paying is still kinda expected, but I'm not keen, and I don't think it should be the default. Sure it's nice to have a meal bought for you by your partner, but for a first date or new relationship my personal preference is to either split the bill or pay for our own. I don't like the expectation some folk have, like you've been bought something so you owe them a goodnight kiss, or a coffee back at yours, or even an automatic second date. Plus, going out together, you are both participating, and anticipating a nice time; I think it's fairer if the cost is shared, it's not like the one who asked is necessarily the only person who will be getting something out of it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We often have this dilemma when out with friends.
Its awkward as the one couple are happy to order a bottle or two of expensive wine that only they want but when it comes to paying they don't offer to add that onto their part of the bill?
If its a night out with just one other couple then if we invited them then we will pay the bill.
As for dating, today's guys seem very reluctant to put their hands in their pockets, bit like our one set of friends above. 
Just my view on it (Mr). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd want to and expect to pay half, or at least pay fully next time. If a guy insisted on always paying on dates I would quickly stop seeing him, I'm not something to be bought."
And if I was in the dating game, I'd be the same... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
