FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why did you change your mind?
Why did you change your mind?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have all been there, the flirty conversation is flowing and you plan on meeting them then something happens and you go off them.
What was it that changed your mind about someone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also when they state they can accom and confirm in initial chat, and then can only actually accom on the 3rd day of every other month, if theres a full moon  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they agree to your boundaries and then start trying to talk you into stretching them! This is a massive deal breaker for us"
this 
and when they start forgetting what they've said because they were lying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they agree to your boundaries and then start trying to talk you into stretching them! This is a massive deal breaker for us
this
and when they start forgetting what they've said because they were lying"
Oh yes!! Daily |
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One lady local to my work agreed a meet , then started asking for "help" with her car tax.
Got chatting with a dominant couple who seemed into the same things as I, but quickly tried to push boundaries, push for an immediate meet. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
When someone starts to show their true self and it's not at all how they had portrayed themselves.
Or someone pushing for pics or cams ,or telling me what they expect me to do if we meet when they know I'm not into it .
It's why I chat for a while before I've met anyone .The red flags show then . |
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We had arranged to meet a couple at a hotel about 3 years ago, given we have only ever met couples previously in clubs this was a big step for us and we were both really excited.
There were lots of messages when I (Mr) noticed that every message mentioned ‘sensual’ so in the end I had to ask what it was they wanted. Glad I did ... they wanted lots of slow passionate kissing and gentle play which isn't what either of us do even in our relationship. Sex for us is passionate but not in a soft way.
We have no problem with this being what they wanted but had we gone through with the meet I don’t think either of us would have enjoyed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have all been there, the flirty conversation is flowing and you plan on meeting them then something happens and you go off them.
What was it that changed your mind about someone?"
Constant messaging , or only wanting to talk about sex in their messages. |
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"We have all been there, the flirty conversation is flowing and you plan on meeting them then something happens and you go off them.
What was it that changed your mind about someone?"
When they tell you their wife is ill/ working/busy/having second thoughts, the list is endless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they tell me to wear something easy access.can they bring a mate for a threesome? Ask me if i do this,ask me if i do that.when they clearly havent read my details. |
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
Interesting...I quite often put my size 12s in it...not just before meets but sometimes after a promising start. Messaging on here (or anywhere for that matter) I message what I'd say in real life...but obviously you don't get the smile or the facial expression to show what you're saying is tongue in cheek.
Folk on the same wavelength get it...others don't...just an occupational hazzard  |
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Had social couple of years ago with a guy id spoken to for ages. Through message he was great. In person it was like meeting a totally different person. Imagine a drooling perv rubbing his hands together and grunting. And this was just in a coffee shop.
Made my excuses and left. |
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Plenty of reasons to change our minds. Trying to push boundaries; chatting/messaging regularly at all times until the day before the meet or the day of the meet; asking for more pictures despite being told we don't share any other pics that are on our profile. Sometimes, however, there is nothing really to put your finger on but you just get that nagging gut feeling. |
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When it starts that they’re a TV admirer (although their profile doesn’t state this).
I say that we’d meet for a social first? pub or club, they agree.
Then a few days before the meet, it’s I can’t be seen in public with you, (Normally some pathetic excuse why the can’t be seen in public with me) and they offer to pay for a hotel room for me.
Then I realise it’s a ruse by yet another ‘straight’ guy, so decide no longer accepting meets if you’re not actively showing it on your profile.  |
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2 changes of mind really jump out for us
One when the guy said he wanted to "gift" me to his wife
Another when the male half of a FWB couple said he thought I was selfish for asking whether we should delay an arranged meet following her op!
Yes I'm happy being selfish in those circumstances ! |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Also when they state they can accom and confirm in initial chat, and then can only actually accom on the 3rd day of every other month, if theres a full moon "
Or they have just moved and actually can't accommodate buy will get a hotel-after saying they want a regular friend with benefits.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had social couple of years ago with a guy id spoken to for ages. Through message he was great. In person it was like meeting a totally different person. Imagine a drooling perv rubbing his hands together and grunting. And this was just in a coffee shop.
Made my excuses and left."
I think we may have met the same man!
Chatted for ages to this one. Really intelligent interesting gentleman. Met for a coffee and his eyes never met mine, he just stared at my boobs and made lewd comments the whole time!
I left after 20 mins and asked him not to bother messaging again.
He just kept messaging suggesting things he could do to me 
Times like these I am glad I never give anyone any contact details aside from Fab. |
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By *1011Woman
over a year ago
Barnsley |
This annoys me too.
I actually love to wear different outfits but the expectation really annoys me for some reason. If someone starts pushing for me to wear a specific outfit when we've never even met, it puts me right off them.
When in actual fact if I like someone I would happily 'dress up' but that will be a decision that I make. |
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"Had social couple of years ago with a guy id spoken to for ages. Through message he was great. In person it was like meeting a totally different person. Imagine a drooling perv rubbing his hands together and grunting. And this was just in a coffee shop.
Made my excuses and left.
I think we may have met the same man!
Chatted for ages to this one. Really intelligent interesting gentleman. Met for a coffee and his eyes never met mine, he just stared at my boobs and made lewd comments the whole time!
I left after 20 mins and asked him not to bother messaging again.
He just kept messaging suggesting things he could do to me
Times like these I am glad I never give anyone any contact details aside from Fab."
They definitely sound very similar lol.
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By *odgerMan
over a year ago
Coventry(ish)London |
"This annoys me too.
I actually love to wear different outfits but the expectation really annoys me for some reason. If someone starts pushing for me to wear a specific outfit when we've never even met, it puts me right off them.
When in actual fact if I like someone I would happily 'dress up' but that will be a decision that I make."
I always like the element of surprise...who likes a wrapped Christmas present when you know what's inside |
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"They start talking about me wearing specific clothing for them.
"
Same here. Devil likes to dress up sometimes, but it has to be her own choice, not because someone suggested it. Same with make up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just become bored of the conversations not really getting anywhere after a while ..
Once I get bored its a hard pass for me "
So 99% of conversations on here? |
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When people try to big themselves up or only want to talk about what they will do to the female half of the couple . Lying about being in a relationship as we don’t condone cheating at all . Random mid conversation dick pics . The list goes on tbh . Not to mention the obvious usual pic collectors and fakes |
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I’ve had loads of socials where I’ve made it clear that I’m not inviting them back but will arrange a second meet. Then they try and pressure me into changing my mind. I’ve had it where they have text me repeatedly for an hour after saying they can still come over. I’ve had guys drop me off and then get out of the car to follow me inside.
When they kiss badly
When they tell me that I’m shy or come across as shy because I won’t have sex on the first meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys trying to suss me out for anal before even meeting
Guys who act like they're gonna be my boyfriend, getting possessive
Guys who push for a meet but make no effort to chat or make conversation ; they expect you to just meet them to fuck. Maybe some people do this, I dunno, but not I! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just become bored of the conversations not really getting anywhere after a while ..
Once I get bored its a hard pass for me
So 99% of conversations on here?"
Ha can be yes. When we are able to meet I am pretty fast at chatting to fucking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had loads of socials where I’ve made it clear that I’m not inviting them back but will arrange a second meet. Then they try and pressure me into changing my mind. I’ve had it where they have text me repeatedly for an hour after saying they can still come over. I’ve had guys drop me off and then get out of the car to follow me inside.
When they kiss badly
When they tell me that I’m shy or come across as shy because I won’t have sex on the first meet.
"
Sounds like people just being entitled. Pushy creeps are the worst as it’s clear they have zero respect and are probably one or two steps away from being on a sex offenders register with that behaviour . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because we play as a couple and this individual privately messaged Rosie trying to exclude me. Instant block and delete. Up until then he was doing so well and top of our list "
I will admit I find it hard to talk to two people at once! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They get too pushy or crude,
Once one forgot he was married and only told me before we were gonna have a social, I then said no ta. "
I'm slightly worried I am actually married but I've forgotten |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also when they state they can accom and confirm in initial chat, and then can only actually accom on the 3rd day of every other month, if theres a full moon
Or they have just moved and actually can't accommodate buy will get a hotel-after saying they want a regular friend with benefits.
"
yes.. had this too.. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I tell people that I don't play on first meets. It's just a social and they reply with..."so if the social goes well can we play"  "
Yes.. had this too! |
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When they start getting arsey because you won't add them so they can your private pics which has some friends in and you explained that you won't add them because you don't know them or have met them so they could be after wank material or be a catfish stealing pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting way to pushy and trying to focus thing. I have busy life sometime it can take week or more for me to move thing about.
Also not being made to feel special. If get the feeling just another number on list can make me loose interest so fast. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When it's agreed that we will meet, but that meet is weeks away...if they then insist on messaging me every day after that I get put off so much. I like chill guys who don't need constant contact before a meet. I realise this may be unreasonable of me, but I can't help how I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find people talk themselves into trouble with us. They get too rude, too demanding, too precious. We tend to use kik for when we think we might meet someone. And we have a saying between us that kik us the kiss of death for all the reasons above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it's agreed that we will meet, but that meet is weeks away...if they then insist on messaging me every day after that I get put off so much. I like chill guys who don't need constant contact before a meet. I realise this may be unreasonable of me, but I can't help how I feel."
^ and this |
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When I’d actually got as far as arranging to meet someone and he cancelled the day before saying work was going to be too busy. Fine, no problem. But then he spent the entire day (that he said was going to be too busy) pestering me to cam and saying he wanted to meet me “somewhere”. Really pissed me off and I was 90% sure at that point that I didn’t want to meet him in future, but I gave him a chance to change my mind and kept talking to him for a few more weeks. The final straw was when he spent my whole visit to my family nagging me to cam, including throughout a 4-hour coach journey, and threatened to tie me up which was a clearly stated limit of mine. I binned him off after that. |
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