FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Hard to find genuine guys
Hard to find genuine guys
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB |
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
We’re the guys that disappeared verified ? Site supporters ? Been on long ?
Did their profiles seem genuine ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a lot of time wasters on here but there’s more guys than any other profile so it shouldn’t be that hard to find a genuine one. I struggle to find genuine women and couples within 30miles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find there's alot of males who seem genuine then after talking on kik for a while we find out they are married or have partners that don't know they are on here. 
Or couples profiles which are single males.  |
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"Yes they often have veris maybe 1 year old, starting to think a lot of the veris maybe fakes"
My veris are over a year old, but you can cross reference them with the person who left them, to check I am genuine........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
I assume this isn't from recent experience as, you know, there's this virus thing going round.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We find there's alot of males who seem genuine then after talking on kik for a while we find out they are married or have partners that don't know they are on here.
"
I swear this is happening more and more at the moment.
Been speaking to two men recently and getting on brilliantly, only to find both are married 
One said to me that it's ok because he only wants to chat anyway. But it's not ok with me. I feel bad knowing there is a wife who knows nothing about the conversations I'm having with her hubby! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We find there's alot of males who seem genuine then after talking on kik for a while we find out they are married or have partners that don't know they are on here.
I swear this is happening more and more at the moment.
Been speaking to two men recently and getting on brilliantly, only to find both are married
One said to me that it's ok because he only wants to chat anyway. But it's not ok with me. I feel bad knowing there is a wife who knows nothing about the conversations I'm having with her hubby!"
Are you shocked that married folks are on fab seeking recreational sex?
You will be also shocked hear in that case there are those wit multiple profiles! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
Us genuine guys are here I promise we’re just all fighting to be noticed. I have even taken to standing on tip toes to try and stand out |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Finding genuine people you connect with over text can be difficult.
Outside any potential misrepresentation a out their marital (availability) status it may be that they have found someone else they would rather pursue.
It sucks as it can feel like your time has been wasted, but try to think of the learning points.
What can you do next time to try and figire out their intentions sooner?
Do you move to a phone call or video chat earlier?
Do you keep things vague for now etc.
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
It's all a bit in the past now though don't you think? It's been a year since meeting was a possibility so I wouldn't dwell on it. When the time comes again then perhaps rethink your vetting process and how much pillow talk you give beforehand or go to clubs where if they no show you should still have a good night out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We find there's alot of males who seem genuine then after talking on kik for a while we find out they are married or have partners that don't know they are on here.
I swear this is happening more and more at the moment.
Been speaking to two men recently and getting on brilliantly, only to find both are married
One said to me that it's ok because he only wants to chat anyway. But it's not ok with me. I feel bad knowing there is a wife who knows nothing about the conversations I'm having with her hubby!
Are you shocked that married folks are on fab seeking recreational sex?
You will be also shocked hear in that case there are those wit multiple profiles!"
No, not shocked at that at all.
I'm shocked by two things, firstly that after being on here for over 11 years, I've been taken in by not one, but two men who originally assured me they were single.
Secondly how many attached men have contacted me this year - more than ever before.
I'm not judging btw, it just doesn't sit right with me. |
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I’m not sure how many people will have lots of recent veris. Not been able to meet much in the last year or so! Apart from webcams and they aren’t the same as a face to face meet. Chatting is probably the best way along with reading past verifications and hoping for the best and leaving negative if things don’t go to plan without reason.
I suppose as others have said, you could always try contacting those that have left feedback with their permission too if you’re really struggling. |
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We were quite lucky in we met two single guys who were very respectful and just clicked, was great to be able to have regular fun. It took some doing though and became a very tiresome process sifting out weirdos and fakes. |
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There are some of us genuine guys here still.
There seems to be increasingly a lot of time waster of all sorts these days. Not sure if lockdown has played a role - or if it’s just as it’s easy to creat an account.
Either way anyone seeking a genuine, educated , dependable guy then you know where to find me... |
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I’ve been on fab 7 years and it is and always will be a minefield. Common sense rules apply just like in life.
- If it sounds too good to be true it will be.
- Your gut is saying they are fake! They will be.
- Don’t commit to anything until you are 100% sure.
Having said all that I have found some fantastic people on this site but you have to put the effort in and understand rejection is not personal just the normal day to day way things work on here. |
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"I’ve been on fab 7 years and it is and always will be a minefield. Common sense rules apply just like in life.
- If it sounds too good to be true it will be.
- Your gut is saying they are fake! They will be.
- Don’t commit to anything until you are 100% sure.
Having said all that I have found some fantastic people on this site but you have to put the effort in and understand rejection is not personal just the normal day to day way things work on here. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you thought of changing your profile name ? Although it’s classified as a couple and has the lady’s body pic on public view - the profile name may be leading to a belief that it’s a single guy trying to meet men under the guise of a couple. Just a thought  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Genuine guys,aren't a problem,after all I don't imagine many women come on here pretending to be guys.
We do however,or I should say,did,have problems,when we were seeking guys,finding suitable guys that matched what we were looking for.
Many guys ignore profiles,whilst others only see what they want to see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Change guys to people and you might be on to something...
I must admit I've been burned once or twice over my years on fab in various guises by women. Sadly, the first casualty of fab appears to be the truth. I'm very honest about my status, not least because I do not want to engage in sex with people under false pretences, and because I know my status will be a red flag for some, but not all people.
People have their own reasons for being here, and I make no judgement on anybody for theirs, but I do like when people are honest about their intentions, regardless of any moral judgements others may wish to pronounce. Personally, I'm not judgemental. |
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By *lthomasMan
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
If guys were more honest with their profiles it would save everyone a lot of time.
My tells your I’m married in the 1st couple of lines. If that’s not for you, that’s fine. Some don’t mind, others do, and as always it’s personal choice.
If people take the time to chat m they find I’m genuine, verified and been around along time & nit a keyboard warrior or dreamer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a lot of talk about 'genuine' people on here.
But what is a genuine person? What sets a genuine person aside from someone who would be classed as non-genuine? |
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"I’ve been on fab 7 years and it is and always will be a minefield. Common sense rules apply just like in life.
- If it sounds too good to be true it will be.
- Your gut is saying they are fake! They will be.
- Don’t commit to anything until you are 100% sure.
Having said all that I have found some fantastic people on this site but you have to put the effort in and understand rejection is not personal just the normal day to day way things work on here. "
Very much how I think too, and my personal experience is that 'couples' are the least reliable in here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you will find it’s the owners intention to flood the site with single male profiles. Their advertising tactics certainly support that (feel free to read my profile for more info on this). I feel sorry for the genuine single males on here, you really don’t stand a chance with all the fakes. I hope now we have unlimited blocks it might help you guys out a bit more as females and couples can now block all the headless profiles if they choose. Good luck x |
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People wasting time is certainly not confined to men.
I have chatted to many ladies on here who you realise have no intention to meet but simply want to chat. I have also been left waiting in hotels for meets that have never arrived despite texting an hour before that they are on way.
There are issues with couples as well who like the idea of swinging but once the moment to meet comes they back out.
Its the old story that for every great meet you have there are 3 no shows or timewaster you have to get through first |
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"I think you will find it’s the owners intention to flood the site with single male profiles. Their advertising tactics certainly support that (feel free to read my profile for more info on this). I feel sorry for the genuine single males on here, you really don’t stand a chance with all the fakes. I hope now we have unlimited blocks it might help you guys out a bit more as females and couples can now block all the headless profiles if they choose. Good luck x "
Very interesting (including your profile) and rather worrying. Another reason for people to be very careful about what they post and publish on sites such as this, especially anything which might identify them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are a lot of verified single guys still around, trying to be noticed, because of the pandemic no new veris, and not everyone wants to play on cam."
You don't have to play on cam to get verified. You can just have a short chat, fully clothed. I've done that for people before who wanted verifying. |
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I must say that I've also had conversations, before covid, which didnt turn into anything even though they seemed eager. I think checking veris helps to sort the wheat for the chat but nothing is a full proof guarantee. We just have to put up with it. Fab socials help though to check people out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's weird, because the genuine guys also struggle to find anyone on this site. Probably due to it being an absolute sausage fest, where most of the blokes are timewasters etc. that ruin it for everyone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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met with a couple pre covid with a very simple approach (assuming you seem to be getting along with them)
- we message
- we speak on the phone
- we have a social
- we partake in debauched sex (or words to that effect)
If you are a genuine guy I can't see what is wrong with this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's weird, because the genuine guys also struggle to find anyone on this site. Probably due to it being an absolute sausage fest, where most of the blokes are timewasters etc. that ruin it for everyone!"
And don’t forget all the men pretending to be female profiles....I’m surprised you genuine single guys ever get a chance to chat to real women who actually want to meet on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you will find it’s the owners intention to flood the site with single male profiles. Their advertising tactics certainly support that (feel free to read my profile for more info on this). I feel sorry for the genuine single males on here, you really don’t stand a chance with all the fakes. I hope now we have unlimited blocks it might help you guys out a bit more as females and couples can now block all the headless profiles if they choose. Good luck x "
As a single male, sometimes without a site supporters pass (and when it runs out, never to be renewed) I'd noticed the web cam links being used as click bait. Principly because I jumped into the chat room once and a few minutes later a very attractive lady who had been active there was now in a link at the bottom of my page.
Site owners are not responsive to the users of this site, in my experience at least, based on years on here over different profiles. Given what you've posted, I'm surprised your profile hasn't been shut down, even though its true. Once upon a time I questioned a forum ban (nothing controversial) and never got a response, but did get my ban increased 5x! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a lot of talk about 'genuine' people on here.
But what is a genuine person? What sets a genuine person aside from someone who would be classed as non-genuine?"
Being a site supporter or not does not determine this on its own IMO. There are many fakes that pay the site supporter fee to perve.
Genuine profile = pic verified, pics on profile, bio that actually tells you what they are looking for from the lifestyle and not just using the site for hook ups or to perve at content.
Non genuine profile = not pic verified, no pics on profile, bio reads ‘Fill in later’ or similar, sends friend request without any contact etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The trouble with me is that I'm not the age people would like to play with. I'm very genuine in terms of sociable, discreet, easy going and mentally mature ... but my age is what puts potential players off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It puts us genuine guys in a bad light"
no it doesn't they put themselves in a bad light stop blaming others for you non success you are all individuals not one big group so you all sell yourselves nobody else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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also being a genuine guy is only the start being genuine will not get you a meet alone the other person has to like what they hear n see or like the message and the build up ...
i get called fake for saying no thanks or i don't think your what im looking for then bang ..your fake so if im not genuine because ive said no thanks is that how you think ?? anyone who say'e no is not genuine then you've no hope ...rejection does not = fake aka not genuine.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Site owners are not responsive to the users of this site, in my experience at least, based on years on here over different profiles. Given what you've posted, I'm surprised your profile hasn't been shut down, even though its true. Once upon a time I questioned a forum ban (nothing controversial) and never got a response, but did get my ban increased 5x!"
I was surprised about this too but like you said I’m not saying anything that’s not factually correct. Let’s face it if they do ban me we all know how easy it is to set up a new profile in less than a minute. I only use this site to chat to friends in the chat rooms and you don’t even need to be a paying member for this... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
Be grateful you got a day's notice. A lot wait until you are at the meet or just don't show up..lol.
Unfortunately we have the same experience...happens a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
Site supporter or veris are definitely not a pointer to them being genuine people at all. Quite a few are fakes and timewasters. Although at the moment there is a pandemic once it finishes you'll find that a lot will disappear |
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Yes, same here.
Pre lockdown.....been called into work, car won't start parent I'll etc etc
During lockdown....I can meet tonight, I'm genuine, I'll be there, I never let anyone down.
Yeah yeah guys, the few always spoil it for the many. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We got off to a bumpy start, one was a weird stalker and then a guy who lost his bottle on the morning of the arranged meet then decided he got it back later that day, erm no one shot only lol, we nearly gave in but luckily since then we have met some great guys but I do chat to them for about a year before meeting, if they stick around that long then I know their a gem  |
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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99% of the men on here are married!
They want a shag and they want it quick, they want it now and they are not particularly fussy about who they shag!
So if looking for a decent one, it will take a long time before you find him!
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
It's not unusual as Tom says, it happens on all form of dating sites unfortunately, lots of people pretending to be something there not, fantasist or maybe in a relationship of some kind and the thrill is the chase, does that make sense. That's why us genuine open guys struggle to meet couples and females, I've experienced it from guys to who want a chat find out explicit details ask dumb questions then dissappear, even had it from a local couple, but I understand there's a lot of shall we say diffrent people out in them hills haha x |
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"99% of the men on here are married!
They want a shag and they want it quick, they want it now and they are not particularly fussy about who they shag!
So if looking for a decent one, it will take a long time before you find him!
"
I agree mostly, if they can find a fix it fuck with a girl they will then move onto the men, I'm in the area are you free what you into etc boring x |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
There are plenty. Everyone has bad experiences to recount, and on a site like this its bound to happen. Just got to keep looking.
And of course remember that there might be plenty of genuine guys but whether they match what you're looking for is an entirely different issue! Like many guys I could sit and read the regualar 'where's the genuine guys' status updates, get frustrated and shout 'I'm here' but its pointless if there's no interest!
I suspect lots of the fakes and timewasters have profiles that are more attractive and appealing than many genuine guys, which is why they seem to get proportionally more attention which results in regular disappointment. |
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB"
There are ways to whittle down the guys actually looking for meets pretty quickly OP. Yes, we’ve been stood up in pubs or hours before a meet more times that we’d like, but that’s happened less and less (last 10 months not withstanding) as we’ve learnt what to look for here.
I’d say we probably only end up actually talking to 10% of the people that message us (although we reply to all messages worth replying to) and meet maybe 10% of them for a social.
Your profile has a lead in question, but it’s very open to dirty talk on a first message. This can attract the wrong sort of person, just the horny guy looking for a dirty chat and some pictures. Perhaps re-word it a little and ask guys what they like about a cuckold situation. That’ll move people with experience to the top of the queue.
Then for us the warning signs are:
- 1 line messages
- no profile photo
- account less than 3 months old
- no attempt at filling in their profile
- can’t meet evenings for obscure reasons (married)
- dirty or sexting first messages
- unwilling to send a face pic after a few messages
Now not all of those are warning signs on their own, but add a few of them together and the conversation normally doesn’t lead towards a planned meet.
It’s also worth bearing in mind that the more genuine guys with scruples haven’t been meeting the last 10 months or so for obvious reasons.
Happy to chat privately if you wanted any more advice or clarification.
- John |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It puts us genuine guys in a bad light
Spot on!"
Nonsense,no one guys actions can be responsible for the actions of others
If anything,the odd bad guy makes the attributes of other guys shine even brighter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB
We’re the guys that disappeared verified ? Site supporters ? Been on long ?
Did their profiles seem genuine ?
"
All things to look at |
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"Is it just us or do other couples struggle to find a genuine guy on here. We have met a few guys and had some fun times, but so many time wasters to the point of day before a meet, they disappear off the face of the planet.
All we are looking for is a regular FB
There are ways to whittle down the guys actually looking for meets pretty quickly OP. Yes, we’ve been stood up in pubs or hours before a meet more times that we’d like, but that’s happened less and less (last 10 months not withstanding) as we’ve learnt what to look for here.
I’d say we probably only end up actually talking to 10% of the people that message us (although we reply to all messages worth replying to) and meet maybe 10% of them for a social.
Your profile has a lead in question, but it’s very open to dirty talk on a first message. This can attract the wrong sort of person, just the horny guy looking for a dirty chat and some pictures. Perhaps re-word it a little and ask guys what they like about a cuckold situation. That’ll move people with experience to the top of the queue.
Then for us the warning signs are:
- 1 line messages
- no profile photo
- account less than 3 months old
- no attempt at filling in their profile
- can’t meet evenings for obscure reasons (married)
- dirty or sexting first messages
- unwilling to send a face pic after a few messages
Now not all of those are warning signs on their own, but add a few of them together and the conversation normally doesn’t lead towards a planned meet.
It’s also worth bearing in mind that the more genuine guys with scruples haven’t been meeting the last 10 months or so for obvious reasons.
Happy to chat privately if you wanted any more advice or clarification.
- John"
What a nice attractive couple x |
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You two are worth the effort! 
