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By *elphin OP Couple
over a year ago
Bromley |
As total newbies we are looking to dip a toe into these waters, but don't want to feel pushed into situations that would make us uncomfortable. Like most people our own relationship has its own ups and downs and it makes sense to proceed slowly, as we don't know completely how we would feel in a full swap situation. A lot of people have 'soft-swing' on their profile, but immediately lose interest when this is mentioned. Is this considered too vanilla and passé now, or maybe just in Sarf London / Croydon it is considered 'play' for wimps? Love to experience the debauchery of four in a bed, but think it reasonable not to let go of the break entirely for our first meet. Pushy people are just not going to work with us, and would like to find couples like us with the laidback, respectful temperament.
Just asking, so hope it does not put anyone's nose out of joint. |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"As total newbies we are looking to dip a toe into these waters, but don't want to feel pushed into situations that would make us uncomfortable. Like most people our own relationship has its own ups and downs and it makes sense to proceed slowly, as we don't know completely how we would feel in a full swap situation. A lot of people have 'soft-swing' on their profile, but immediately lose interest when this is mentioned. Is this considered too vanilla and passé now, or maybe just in Sarf London / Croydon it is considered 'play' for wimps? Love to experience the debauchery of four in a bed, but think it reasonable not to let go of the break entirely for our first meet. Pushy people are just not going to work with us, and would like to find couples like us with the laidback, respectful temperament.
Just asking, so hope it does not put anyone's nose out of joint."
A club is a good place to start you can join in or watch get your bearing.but who knows when clubs will open .... you shouldn't be meeting at the moment until safe to .. it is nice when you find that easy going couple/s where you can just go with the flow of things soft swing laughter banter or full swop when its safe to hope you enjoy the life style
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Make your boundaries clear both on your profile and in initial messages. Don't use ambiguous language because trust me people will use it to convince themselves that other options are a possibility. Ask directly, early on "are you happy with how we want to proceed?" we find that having to give a yes or no answer drives the point home. I'd be willing to bet a tube of smarties that there are a lot of people happy to soft swing in your area. |
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We, and some of our friends, are soft swingers, obviously everything is dead now but in normal times we don’t find it an issue, particularly in clubs where you can agree boundaries face to face.
Just a small point, I probably wouldn’t include a description of your own relationship (“it has its ups and downs”), that’s your business nobody else’s, you shouldn’t feel the need to justify your play choices.
Over sharing your personal life might put some people off if they sense there’s going to be some drama on a meet. |
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