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Married Men And Women the sequel
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just reviewing the prequel to this sequel it would seem there is a pretty even split of opinions on the married folks debate.
Some adulterous behaviour as obnoxious but some see it as acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda. "
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda? |
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda.
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda?"
Utter bollox ... sets the example that selfishness is an ok way to live for the children: wastes the spouses life who doesn’t know. The spouse know they feel useless and worthless kids grow up to hate the cheater. Honesty is always the best policy. Keeping the home together built on dishonesty and daily lies. |
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"Just reviewing the prequel to this sequel it would seem there is a pretty even split of opinions on the married folks debate.
Some adulterous behaviour as obnoxious but some see it as acceptable."
Depends on your priorities if you’re looking for a fuck at all costs then yes it’s acceptable if you’re a decent human being that cares about other people other than your own want for casual sex then no it’s not acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't usually meet married men without permission, it's not attractive and I don't want to be a homewrecker. If they have permission then fine, I expect some men have lied to me, but I can't exactly do a background check on everyone. I'm married with permission and it's never been an issue for meeting, tbh I don't think most guys would have been bothered if I was cheating, or they assumed I was and never asked xx |
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"I don't usually meet married men without permission, it's not attractive and I don't want to be a homewrecker. If they have permission then fine, I expect some men have lied to me, but I can't exactly do a background check on everyone. I'm married with permission and it's never been an issue for meeting, tbh I don't think most guys would have been bothered if I was cheating, or they assumed I was and never asked xx"
Hah yeah don’t think I’ve ever been asked either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda.
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda?"
But if it comes out, and it often does, then it doesn't keep a home together. Then you have a devastated and often bitter spouse, the cheater who is automatically the bad person, and children who are caught in the middle and often hate the cheater for putting them there.
I know a few couples who have split up/divorced due to cheating. In all those cases, the cheater's relationship with his or her children has been affected long term. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But what if they weren’t happy and just preferred to use this as a get out. Some women do have an abusive partner and sometimes they just want affection.
Not sure I’m making any sense now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just reviewing the prequel to this sequel it would seem there is a pretty even split of opinions on the married folks debate.
Some adulterous behaviour as obnoxious but some see it as acceptable.
Depends on your priorities if you’re looking for a fuck at all costs then yes it’s acceptable if you’re a decent human being that cares about other people other than your own want for casual sex then no it’s not acceptable. "
I tend to side with you that it’s dubious behaviour but who am I to cast the first stone? |
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"Still doesn’t prove anything tho wife could be working nights ect "
A video call to the wife with the husband there and the wife show pictures of them together like a wedding photo just in case the cheating man pulls in a fake wife.
We are women, we know all the lies.
I personally don’t like cheaters, that’s men and women and also don’t like the extra party who provides the means to cheat. |
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"But what if they weren’t happy and just preferred to use this as a get out. Some women do have an abusive partner and sometimes they just want affection.
Not sure I’m making any sense now "
There are many reasons why a bit on the side seems attractive all the reasons mean you don’t have what it takes to correct what is wrong in the relationship abs fix it or move on. Infidelity is lazy and cowardly neither of which are sexy traits so no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can any prove it tho when they say the other half gives me permission
You can tell .... times they communicate times they can meet. Etc etc "
Yeah, some guys are bad at hiding it and are immediately suspicious. But ultimately you can't always tell. I would bet my house that almost every woman on here has shagged a cheating guy at some point. If I ask and they lie then my conscience is clear, but even still I'd be furious if I found out! xx |
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I don't mind either way. I'm not going to pry either way, I'm not looking for a relationship and I honestly think that if you meet a person on a lone profile you'll never know 100% if that person is actually single. Even if they meet in the evenings, their partner may work nights or irregular work patterns. There'll also be people who may give permission to their spouse or meet in a couples situation only to keep hold of that partner as priority over losing them or risking them playing alone with others anyway. Its not always the case that in situations with couple profiles that both are 100% into that scenario. Which is worse? Not knowing or finding yourself complicit in a scenario that you aren't actually comfortable with yet you're unwilling to let go of a partner who is unhappy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still doesn’t prove anything tho wife could be working nights ect
A video call to the wife with the husband there and the wife show pictures of them together like a wedding photo just in case the cheating man pulls in a fake wife.
We are women, we know all the lies.
I personally don’t like cheaters, that’s men and women and also don’t like the extra party who provides the means to cheat. "
Doesn't that seem a bit drastic? If someone wants to cheat they will. I mean some of them even tell you they're single  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is a true story that was relayed to me.
A couple not connected with the lifestyle we’re happily going about normal family life. Hubby has a life changing illness that caused him to be irreversibly impotent. Wife cared for him but at a support group meeting she met a chap with who she formed a relationship which resulted in meeting once or twice a month. The relationship developed into the intimacy side of things and goes on to this day. |
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"This is a true story that was relayed to me.
A couple not connected with the lifestyle we’re happily going about normal family life. Hubby has a life changing illness that caused him to be irreversibly impotent. Wife cared for him but at a support group meeting she met a chap with who she formed a relationship which resulted in meeting once or twice a month. The relationship developed into the intimacy side of things and goes on to this day. "
Hardly meeting and fucking random strangers on fab while the wife is at home too knackered with working full time and looking after the kids to be interested in sex is it.
The issue is honesty and communication if there is a genuine reason that has meant both parties come to an acceptable compromise then that’s their business. Anything that involves lies is not acceptable |
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"This is a true story that was relayed to me.
A couple not connected with the lifestyle we’re happily going about normal family life. Hubby has a life changing illness that caused him to be irreversibly impotent. Wife cared for him but at a support group meeting she met a chap with who she formed a relationship which resulted in meeting once or twice a month. The relationship developed into the intimacy side of things and goes on to this day. "
Still cheating and not right in my opinion. I’ve been in that situation in a long term relationship where my partner had a very serious illness but I never cheated as he was my first priority, not some poxy guy from a support group who can’t keep his trousers zipped up  |
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We just like honesty as we do live in Plymland and it's a small place although most think it's city which it isn't ! and so the so called scene is pretty small so always comes out in the end and always ends in tears !! but ..they always think they won't be caught out ??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can any prove it tho when they say the other half gives me permission
Ask to speak to them if in any doubt maybe"
Who's to say its really them? It the end of the day you just have to trust and hope xx |
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda.
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda?"
"I put my penis is somebody else for the sake of the kids" doesn't sound too believable when written down that way does it?
They fear rejection which is why they don't tell the truth.
Their own selfishness and fear of getting rejected is stealing someone else's time, emotional wellbeing and a whole host of other things.
When the truth comes out and the spouse realises the last however long their life has been a lie it's devastating. Some people never recover emotionally.
"I broke you, devasted you, messed your head up and left you needed counselling.... because i love you"
Bullshit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda.
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda?
Utter bollox ... sets the example that selfishness is an ok way to live for the children: wastes the spouses life who doesn’t know. The spouse know they feel useless and worthless kids grow up to hate the cheater. Honesty is always the best policy. Keeping the home together built on dishonesty and daily lies. "
Exactly right.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a true story that was relayed to me.
A couple not connected with the lifestyle we’re happily going about normal family life. Hubby has a life changing illness that caused him to be irreversibly impotent. Wife cared for him but at a support group meeting she met a chap with who she formed a relationship which resulted in meeting once or twice a month. The relationship developed into the intimacy side of things and goes on to this day. "
How often is this the reason?
Hardly ever.  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"How can any prove it tho when they say the other half gives me permission
Ask to speak to them if in any doubt maybe
Who's to say its really them? It the end of the day you just have to trust and hope xx"
That's why I'd only go for someone who I can see had permission ie if they have a joint profile or his partner Is on here too x |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"How can any prove it tho when they say the other half gives me permission
Ask to speak to them if in any doubt maybe
Who's to say its really them? It the end of the day you just have to trust and hope xx
That's why I'd only go for someone who I can see had permission ie if they have a joint profile or his partner Is on here too x"
Although I've ruled people out when I've asked to talk to their partner and there's excuse after excuse as to why I can't |
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"If people cheat that is on them and for their conscience, not the person they cheat with.
"
I can't agree with that.
How many times do people say "treat people how you'd like to be treated"? All the time. Different when it comes to cheating tho, then the whole "not my monkey, not my problem" mentality comes into play.
Oh right, so only treat people how you want to be treated when it's beneficial then?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are shadows in life. But wouldn't it be so much easier if everything was black and white?
There is a huge difference between love and sex, and understanding that is fundamental to the argument. There are a lot of cases where, for many reasons, couples in relationships stop being intimate. If this happens for both parties simultaneously, then its not a problem. But typically, it only happens for one party, leaving the other very frustrated. And leaving isn't always an option, for numerous reasons.
One example I know of, husband lost interest, had ED, won't seek help leaving a very beautiful, curvy and sexually aware wife to have her needs and wants unfilled. Of course, she wants those fulfilled by her husband, but he doesn't want to fulfil them for her. Should she play away or set her natural needs and desires aside forever? Given that she's tried to resolve the issues with him, what do the morality police suggest this beautiful busty and sexually adventurous lady does?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people cheat that is on them and for their conscience, not the person they cheat with."
If people are deceived by the cheater, then they absolutely can have a clear conscience. I would be an advocate of cheaters declaring their status so third parties can factor that into their own moral compass.
For what it's worth, I do not consider the third party in such liaisons as home wreckers, or any of that ilk. Personally I see cheating as a symptom to an underlying problem within a relationship. The problem (or problems) can be complex, and I will save people suggestion that one problem could be the cheating party being an selfish, greedy arse. But life is complex, especially relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a true story that was relayed to me.
A couple not connected with the lifestyle we’re happily going about normal family life. Hubby has a life changing illness that caused him to be irreversibly impotent. Wife cared for him but at a support group meeting she met a chap with who she formed a relationship which resulted in meeting once or twice a month. The relationship developed into the intimacy side of things and goes on to this day. "
Awww that's lovely that she found someone. 
If it had been the wife who couldn't have sex anymore and the husband was fucking around he'd be an evil heartless nasty devil.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But what if they weren’t happy and just preferred to use this as a get out. Some women do have an abusive partner and sometimes they just want affection.
Not sure I’m making any sense now
There are many reasons why a bit on the side seems attractive all the reasons mean you don’t have what it takes to correct what is wrong in the relationship abs fix it or move on. Infidelity is lazy and cowardly neither of which are sexy traits so no thanks. "
I've been in an abusive relationship and not once did I ever think about cheating... Why? Because I'm not a shitty human being.
Cheating is never accepted in my book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But what if they weren’t happy and just preferred to use this as a get out. Some women do have an abusive partner and sometimes they just want affection.
Not sure I’m making any sense now
There are many reasons why a bit on the side seems attractive all the reasons mean you don’t have what it takes to correct what is wrong in the relationship abs fix it or move on. Infidelity is lazy and cowardly neither of which are sexy traits so no thanks.
I've been in an abusive relationship and not once did I ever think about cheating... Why? Because I'm not a shitty human being.
Cheating is never accepted in my book. "
Well said that woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met an attached guy but got to a point of me not liking being ‘the bit on the side’ and ‘he’s little secret’ and I didn’t like the sneaking around..... single guys from now on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve lost count of how many men I really click with to then find out they are married.
I recently deleted all my profile words out of frustration but it clearly said no married or attached men.
I think the balance between married snd single men on here is completely married man heavy.
I don’t care who does what I just want honesty.
Pffff seems impossible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge ! "
I agree with you on the ‘not for us to judge’ part.... I knew from the off and didn’t bother me but it was all one sided and that’s not for me |
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"There are shadows in life. But wouldn't it be so much easier if everything was black and white?
There is a huge difference between love and sex, and understanding that is fundamental to the argument. There are a lot of cases where, for many reasons, couples in relationships stop being intimate. If this happens for both parties simultaneously, then its not a problem. But typically, it only happens for one party, leaving the other very frustrated. And leaving isn't always an option, for numerous reasons.
One example I know of, husband lost interest, had ED, won't seek help leaving a very beautiful, curvy and sexually aware wife to have her needs and wants unfilled. Of course, she wants those fulfilled by her husband, but he doesn't want to fulfil them for her. Should she play away or set her natural needs and desires aside forever? Given that she's tried to resolve the issues with him, what do the morality police suggest this beautiful busty and sexually adventurous lady does?
"
Not quite sure what the size of her boobs has to do with it small busted women have just as high a sex drive. Answer she sorts out the parameters of her marriage first communicates with the husband and then they reach a compromise where all parties are informed and in agreement or she walks. That’s the grown up adult human being way to treat people. Or were you expecting people to say ‘well if she’s got big tits join fab and fuck whoever you like love’ ... give me strength. |
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"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge ! "
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site. |
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"There are shadows in life. But wouldn't it be so much easier if everything was black and white?
There is a huge difference between love and sex, and understanding that is fundamental to the argument. There are a lot of cases where, for many reasons, couples in relationships stop being intimate. If this happens for both parties simultaneously, then its not a problem. But typically, it only happens for one party, leaving the other very frustrated. And leaving isn't always an option, for numerous reasons.
One example I know of, husband lost interest, had ED, won't seek help leaving a very beautiful, curvy and sexually aware wife to have her needs and wants unfilled. Of course, she wants those fulfilled by her husband, but he doesn't want to fulfil them for her. Should she play away or set her natural needs and desires aside forever? Given that she's tried to resolve the issues with him, what do the morality police suggest this beautiful busty and sexually adventurous lady does?
"
You seem to know a lot about this couple mainly the beautiful busty and sexually adventurous wife. Do they know you are asking a bunch of swingers for advice on their marriage? |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
Oh feck I said I'd stay out of these forum posts, but viewpoint as always.
There is a lot of judgement and hypocrisy over this subject. Married women swinging without partner consent is often accepted by many, but married men swinging without partner consent is abhorrent to most that will never change it is just the way it is.
Women say they would never date married man but will if they are hot and think they get a fairy tail ending but rarely happen and forum bitterness ensues.
Men don't give a feck if they get layed and the argument goes on. Been going for the 30+ years I've been on the scene and will go on long after i have gone and most here.
In the the end it is down to the individuals involved and the consequences and nobody else's business. But people like to stand in judgement and is the subject of many posts and will continue to be.
Just thought id be even more controversial that the subject of the post |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh feck I said I'd stay out of these forum posts, but viewpoint as always.
There is a lot of judgement and hypocrisy over this subject. Married women swinging without partner consent is often accepted by many, but married men swinging without partner consent is abhorrent to most that will never change it is just the way it is.
Women say they would never date married man but will if they are hot and think they get a fairy tail ending but rarely happen and forum bitterness ensues.
Men don't give a feck if they get layed and the argument goes on. Been going for the 30+ years I've been on the scene and will go on long after i have gone and most here.
In the the end it is down to the individuals involved and the consequences and nobody else's business. But people like to stand in judgement and is the subject of many posts and will continue to be.
Just thought id be even more controversial that the subject of the post "
Cheating is cheating........
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge !
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site. "
Agree totally.
Yet they are prepared to destroy partner's lives and the life of any children.
Absolutely amazing! ! |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge !
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site.
Agree totally.
Yet they are prepared to destroy partner's lives and the life of any children.
Absolutely amazing! !"
One of things about this subjects like this as people change the rules to suit themselves and judge others.
Example we met a married lady she would be much closer to our age and less likely to have children still at home. She has is in a happy relationship with her parner but enjoys the occasional attention of another woman, but does not tell her partner.
This is still cheating by definition but is this acceptable?
Likewise if you are single straight female who meets with couples, you are meeting with married or attached male even if the partner is complicit. You are still potentially a home wrecker and potentially destroyed the lives children and others.
Is this acceptable?
I'm just posing scenarios and that "cheating" to us the word in the swinging world has many lines which are often blurred when it suits. Agree or disagree just a though before getting on a pedestal and judging  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not quite sure what the size of her boobs has to do with it small busted women have just as high a sex drive. Answer she sorts out the parameters of her marriage first communicates with the husband and then they reach a compromise where all parties are informed and in agreement or she walks. That’s the grown up adult human being way to treat people. Or were you expecting people to say ‘well if she’s got big tits join fab and fuck whoever you like love’ ... give me strength. "
As usual, the point is lost and you focus on very black and white, binary responses, which unfortunately in something as organic as a relationship, doesn't exist.
In the example I quoted, the lady concerned is not in a position to leave, or does not want to leave the marriage. She has needs which she requires tending to. The reference to boob size was purely to paint a picture.
So, in the example I stated, I mentioned how leaving isn't an option, and attempts have been made to try and move forward without success. So my question which remained unanswered was:
"Should someone in that situation abandon their natural needs, or seek the desired attention elsewhere?" |
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"Not quite sure what the size of her boobs has to do with it small busted women have just as high a sex drive. Answer she sorts out the parameters of her marriage first communicates with the husband and then they reach a compromise where all parties are informed and in agreement or she walks. That’s the grown up adult human being way to treat people. Or were you expecting people to say ‘well if she’s got big tits join fab and fuck whoever you like love’ ... give me strength.
As usual, the point is lost and you focus on very black and white, binary responses, which unfortunately in something as organic as a relationship, doesn't exist.
In the example I quoted, the lady concerned is not in a position to leave, or does not want to leave the marriage. She has needs which she requires tending to. The reference to boob size was purely to paint a picture.
So, in the example I stated, I mentioned how leaving isn't an option, and attempts have been made to try and move forward without success. So my question which remained unanswered was:
"Should someone in that situation abandon their natural needs, or seek the desired attention elsewhere?""
Now you’re concentrating on the binary ... those aren’t her only options. ‘Not in a position to leave’ is bullshit my guess is financially it would be uncomfortable to start again and she likes the perks of a long marriage in terms of house pension etc etc. She wants her cake and eat it ... that’s not how life works. So she can take her ‘seeking desired attention’ selfish attitude and shove it ... marriage is for better or worse. There is no ‘I like this bit but not that’ .... I hope she gets caught. |
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"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge !
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site.
Agree totally.
Yet they are prepared to destroy partner's lives and the life of any children.
Absolutely amazing! !
One of things about this subjects like this as people change the rules to suit themselves and judge others.
Example we met a married lady she would be much closer to our age and less likely to have children still at home. She has is in a happy relationship with her parner but enjoys the occasional attention of another woman, but does not tell her partner.
This is still cheating by definition but is this acceptable?
Likewise if you are single straight female who meets with couples, you are meeting with married or attached male even if the partner is complicit. You are still potentially a home wrecker and potentially destroyed the lives children and others.
Is this acceptable?
I'm just posing scenarios and that "cheating" to us the word in the swinging world has many lines which are often blurred when it suits. Agree or disagree just a though before getting on a pedestal and judging "
Anything that the spouse doesn’t know and agree to is cheating. If the spouse knows or is there that’s that ethical non monogamy which is for me what swinging is all about. There is no grey area or blurred lines ... if your partner doesn’t know then you’re a cheat if they do then you’re not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes? "
Now who’s having her cake and eating it? What you describe would for many people be immoral . You’re demonstrating fluid morals.
Life is not black and white! In a he example I used to illustrate the point, your suggesting , no advocating, that the person should accept their lot?
Try compassion not judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge !
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site.
Agree totally.
Yet they are prepared to destroy partner's lives and the life of any children.
Absolutely amazing! !
One of things about this subjects like this as people change the rules to suit themselves and judge others.
Example we met a married lady she would be much closer to our age and less likely to have children still at home. She has is in a happy relationship with her parner but enjoys the occasional attention of another woman, but does not tell her partner.
This is still cheating by definition but is this acceptable?
Likewise if you are single straight female who meets with couples, you are meeting with married or attached male even if the partner is complicit. You are still potentially a home wrecker and potentially destroyed the lives children and others.
Is this acceptable?
I'm just posing scenarios and that "cheating" to us the word in the swinging world has many lines which are often blurred when it suits. Agree or disagree just a though before getting on a pedestal and judging "
How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We prefer married ladies no matter if their hubby is aware or not. We all have our own reasons and needs for being on here and it's not for us to judge !
Let’s be totally clear no one is here for ‘needs’ it’s all ‘wants’ no one dies due to lack of causal sex on a swingers site.
Agree totally.
Yet they are prepared to destroy partner's lives and the life of any children.
Absolutely amazing! !
One of things about this subjects like this as people change the rules to suit themselves and judge others.
Example we met a married lady she would be much closer to our age and less likely to have children still at home. She has is in a happy relationship with her parner but enjoys the occasional attention of another woman, but does not tell her partner.
This is still cheating by definition but is this acceptable?
Likewise if you are single straight female who meets with couples, you are meeting with married or attached male even if the partner is complicit. You are still potentially a home wrecker and potentially destroyed the lives children and others.
Is this acceptable?
I'm just posing scenarios and that "cheating" to us the word in the swinging world has many lines which are often blurred when it suits. Agree or disagree just a though before getting on a pedestal and judging
Anything that the spouse doesn’t know and agree to is cheating. If the spouse knows or is there that’s that ethical non monogamy which is for me what swinging is all about. There is no grey area or blurred lines ... if your partner doesn’t know then you’re a cheat if they do then you’re not. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her. "
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes? "
Its not specifically single female could be a single male, I was only putting forward a scenario that I am familiar with. Jealousy, obsession, the desire to meet the 3rd outside relationship. Although the original meeting was consensual
The point was that people blur the lines when it suits so by saying they don't meet married or attached guys or don't want to be a home wrecker yet they may put themselves in a position where may well be even unintentionally, then grab their pitchforks a shout hang the cad the cheater and home wrecker. This is just about people do blur lines which they say the wont cross. Why I dont judge people that is the point and nor should others
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"Not quite sure what the size of her boobs has to do with it small busted women have just as high a sex drive. Answer she sorts out the parameters of her marriage first communicates with the husband and then they reach a compromise where all parties are informed and in agreement or she walks. That’s the grown up adult human being way to treat people. Or were you expecting people to say ‘well if she’s got big tits join fab and fuck whoever you like love’ ... give me strength.
As usual, the point is lost and you focus on very black and white, binary responses, which unfortunately in something as organic as a relationship, doesn't exist.
In the example I quoted, the lady concerned is not in a position to leave, or does not want to leave the marriage. She has needs which she requires tending to. The reference to boob size was purely to paint a picture.
So, in the example I stated, I mentioned how leaving isn't an option, and attempts have been made to try and move forward without success. So my question which remained unanswered was:
"Should someone in that situation abandon their natural needs, or seek the desired attention elsewhere?""
You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!! |
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"Happen to me ,I was the innocent party ,don't know how long it carried on for ,only found out when I finished work early ,walked in to them on FaceTime to each other ,not a good day  "
Sorry to hear this, I know how hurtful it is when someone you trust does the dirty and cheats on you. It happened to me. Now I’ll never trust anyone again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
"
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her. |
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"Happen to me ,I was the innocent party ,don't know how long it carried on for ,only found out when I finished work early ,walked in to them on FaceTime to each other ,not a good day
Sorry to hear this, I know how hurtful it is when someone you trust does the dirty and cheats on you. It happened to me. Now I’ll never trust anyone again! "
Trust hmmmm now there's a word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes? "
If everyone is fully aware and consenting, then how can it hurt anyone, or be classed as cheating? |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her. "
This is my point that if
" one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her"
This is an affair and both parties are complicit. Can't say its one person's fault "its not my fault we are having an affair" blur the lines when it suits |
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I’m with Qadesh in the earlier thoughts!
If everyone’s consenting and in the know about it, crack on and have fun
It’s when one party doesn’t know it’s vile.
How any single person can happily meet knowing someone’s cheating is beyond me! |
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"Not quite sure what the size of her boobs has to do with it small busted women have just as high a sex drive. Answer she sorts out the parameters of her marriage first communicates with the husband and then they reach a compromise where all parties are informed and in agreement or she walks. That’s the grown up adult human being way to treat people. Or were you expecting people to say ‘well if she’s got big tits join fab and fuck whoever you like love’ ... give me strength.
As usual, the point is lost and you focus on very black and white, binary responses, which unfortunately in something as organic as a relationship, doesn't exist.
In the example I quoted, the lady concerned is not in a position to leave, or does not want to leave the marriage. She has needs which she requires tending to. The reference to boob size was purely to paint a picture.
So, in the example I stated, I mentioned how leaving isn't an option, and attempts have been made to try and move forward without success. So my question which remained unanswered was:
"Should someone in that situation abandon their natural needs, or seek the desired attention elsewhere?""
Abandon their natural needs for now and work on the reasons as to why they can’t leave or don’t want to leave an unhappy relationship.
Absolutely, cheating is never ok. No matter what the circumstances. |
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Just all full of bullshitters
Married men AND WIMEN just loomin for sn excuse to fuck snyone behind their own partner
Shows u have no respect with them
When she love the bones of u
N unbeknown u are fuckin a slag behind her back .
Shame on you all
Hope karma gets u in the end |
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"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes?
Now who’s having her cake and eating it? What you describe would for many people be immoral . You’re demonstrating fluid morals.
Life is not black and white! In a he example I used to illustrate the point, your suggesting , no advocating, that the person should accept their lot?
Try compassion not judgement."
I’m not demonstrating fluid morals at all! The absolute and definitive decider is whether all parties are informed. It’s not morality it’s decency compassion and honesty. Yes I’m afraid marriage is a commitment if you don’t like the constraints within which your spouse expects you to live you break the contract. There is no grey no maybe ... just a scummy cheat vs a decent person.
Me thinks you’re helping this ‘busty sexually aware wife’ have her cake and eat it and are trying to justify her cheating behaviour |
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"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes?
If everyone is fully aware and consenting, then how can it hurt anyone, or be classed as cheating?"
It can’t he’s trying to justify unjustifiable behaviour .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just all full of bullshitters
Married men AND WIMEN just loomin for sn excuse to fuck snyone behind their own partner
Shows u have no respect with them
When she love the bones of u
N unbeknown u are fuckin a slag behind her back .
Shame on you all
Hope karma gets u in the end"
I wish you would get straight to the point? |
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"If a single woman meets a married couple how are you destroying homes?
Now who’s having her cake and eating it? What you describe would for many people be immoral . You’re demonstrating fluid morals.
Life is not black and white! In a he example I used to illustrate the point, your suggesting , no advocating, that the person should accept their lot?
Try compassion not judgement."
No compassion for cheats here not one single bit ... why in the hell do cowards deserve an ounce of compassion? |
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"....... I read your last point. I don’t think people that wet married men or women care about anything but their own agenda.
But if it keeps a home together then who would deny that agenda?
I totally agree
U are married with kids
But just shaggin someone behibd ur wifes bsck
Wat a fuckin dickhesd u are then .u showin no respect to ur wife who probably loves u
War happens if she catches u out then
Wat u do
She will kick u out the house for chestin
Prob stop u seein kids
Think of thrm
Once they get older n ask mum were is dad
She replies he was seeing somebody else behind her back
Hopefully they will disown u
If ur not getting ontogether mayb split on mutual grounds where u will still then b able to see ur kids
THEN YOU CAN GO N FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT
Wen u dont have ur kids
So deceitful nasty horrible
Utter bollox ... sets the example that selfishness is an ok way to live for the children: wastes the spouses life who doesn’t know. The spouse know they feel useless and worthless kids grow up to hate the cheater. Honesty is always the best policy. Keeping the home together built on dishonesty and daily lies. "
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"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her. "
She can force the other person to not sleep with her though . |
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"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her.
She can force the other person to not sleep with her though ."
So a cheating husband has somehow turned into a single woman’s fault? .... ahh misogyny is alive and well here on fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!! "
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just all full of bullshitters
Married men AND WIMEN just loomin for sn excuse to fuck snyone behind their own partner
Shows u have no respect with them
When she love the bones of u
N unbeknown u are fuckin a slag behind her back .
Shame on you all
Hope karma gets u in the end"
Did you accidentally log in here instead of Mumsnet? |
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"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size."
Maybe the other half may not want to stay together if they know the other is cheating?
But by being deceitful your taking that option away from them.
Vile- no reason for it, literally ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a cheating husband has somehow turned into a single woman’s fault? .... ahh misogyny is alive and well here on fab"
Remember the scenario where SHE initiated solo play? If not entirely her fault, she would certainly share a large part of the responsibility. If a person knowingly engages in a relationship with someone who is previously committed elsewhere, and issues arise from that, they share responsibility, not all the responsibility.
In most cases, if everything is rosey and perfect in a relationship, neither side will stray. Cheating is a symptom of a problem in a relationship, not the problem itself. |
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Back onto the subject of kids.
Running at the first sign of things being unfulfilling teaches them not to try.
Staying in an unfulfilling marriage and getting your rocks off elsewhere (which if you're sly enough they'll never know) teaches them that a parents happiness is not important, and chances are they'll stay in an unhappy relationship too. You really want your kids to be miserable coz you've taught them parents stick together even if they're unhappy?
How's about teaching them there's no shame in seeking help when things aren't roses? Teach them reaching out for counselling is a good thing. Teach them that communication is soooo important when it comes to relationships.
Teach them to be responsible humans, let them know humans are flawed but seeking solutions rather than burying their heads in the sands is the sensible thing to do.
Teach them tolerance and patience but that boundaries are necessary.
Teach them that you don't have to be a cunt when a relationship is struggling and that it's ok not to be able to make it work, but to do so with respect and grace. That ultimately providing channels of communication are open and respectful, it's perfectly possible to part on good terms, wanting the best for each other.
|
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"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size."
What a load of codswallop - in my opinion! |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
|
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"I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
"
But then that’s fine, just have that conversation. If everyone knows what’s the issue.
There’s no need to cheat just because the other half has no sex drive.
No one is ok to cheat. Either sex. For any reason. |
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"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size."
Absolute crap. |
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"Back onto the subject of kids.
Running at the first sign of things being unfulfilling teaches them not to try.
Staying in an unfulfilling marriage and getting your rocks off elsewhere (which if you're sly enough they'll never know) teaches them that a parents happiness is not important, and chances are they'll stay in an unhappy relationship too. You really want your kids to be miserable coz you've taught them parents stick together even if they're unhappy?
How's about teaching them there's no shame in seeking help when things aren't roses? Teach them reaching out for counselling is a good thing. Teach them that communication is soooo important when it comes to relationships.
Teach them to be responsible humans, let them know humans are flawed but seeking solutions rather than burying their heads in the sands is the sensible thing to do.
Teach them tolerance and patience but that boundaries are necessary.
Teach them that you don't have to be a cunt when a relationship is struggling and that it's ok not to be able to make it work, but to do so with respect and grace. That ultimately providing channels of communication are open and respectful, it's perfectly possible to part on good terms, wanting the best for each other.
"
This ... kids are looking to parents on how to behave if you tolerate a cheat then they’re more likely to think that’s ok and tolerate it too. Also to cheat ... kids model their own future relationships on what they see. So being a cheating scum ‘or ‘an adventurous large breasted woman’ (give me fucking strength ) is actually harming your children’s future ability to form functional relationships of their own. |
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"I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
"
Said men can leave ...... |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
Said men can leave ...... "
They could, but they can also find sex elsewhere so they don't have to disrupt their children's lives. Plus, the wives like spending the money said men bring in.
I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size.
Absolute crap. "
Which bit? |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her.
She can force the other person to not sleep with her though .
So a cheating husband has somehow turned into a single woman’s fault? .... ahh misogyny is alive and well here on fab"
That is not what is being said, heperphetically if a single man/woman joins a couple and then continues with an affair/relationship outside of that couples relationship then it breaks down of course she/he is as much to blame despite who initiated the affair/relationship. Misogyny has nothing to do with it, to say that 3rd person isn't to blame because they didn't initiate it but are complicit is ludicrous.
This just illustrates the point that people change the narrative to admonish themselves of any responsibility but prepared to impose standards on others which they don't necessarily adhere to themselves. Which is the context of the scenario was given and stand in judgement over others when they have no real right to do so.
This isn't a personl attack on anyone just the identificaton swinging scene can lead itself implicit or complicit cheating and wreck homes either intentionally or unintentionally thus people should not sit in judgement on others but that will never happen because it is human nature. |
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"I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
Said men can leave ......
They could, but they can also find sex elsewhere so they don't have to disrupt their children's lives. Plus, the wives like spending the money said men bring in.
I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
"
I’d absolutely blame them for looking elsewhere and not communicating with a person they are meant to love.
What has money got to do with it? Why even involved that.
Same as kids, plenty of singles co parent fantastically. Just an excuse. |
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"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size.
Absolute crap.
Which bit? "
All of the ‘scenario’ you said. No one has to stay with anyone. Maybe you should give the reasons why the busty beauty can’t leave and see what the audience think! |
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"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her.
She can force the other person to not sleep with her though .
So a cheating husband has somehow turned into a single woman’s fault? .... ahh misogyny is alive and well here on fab
That is not what is being said, heperphetically if a single man/woman joins a couple and then continues with an affair/relationship outside of that couples relationship then it breaks down of course she/he is as much to blame despite who initiated the affair/relationship. Misogyny has nothing to do with it, to say that 3rd person isn't to blame because they didn't initiate it but are complicit is ludicrous.
This just illustrates the point that people change the narrative to admonish themselves of any responsibility but prepared to impose standards on others which they don't necessarily adhere to themselves. Which is the context of the scenario was given and stand in judgement over others when they have no real right to do so.
This isn't a personl attack on anyone just the identificaton swinging scene can lead itself implicit or complicit cheating and wreck homes either intentionally or unintentionally thus people should not sit in judgement on others but that will never happen because it is human nature."
Agree. I won’t meet married men. Because i won’t be involved in that.
I think it’s just as bad for singles to actively meet knowing they are cheating x |
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"How is a single female meeting a couple, potentially a home wrecker?
If one of the couple later decides to have an affair with her, *they* are the home wrecker. Not her.
Let’s say the single female likes one of them, and imitates solo play behind the others back... she would share no responsibility for any outcomes?
Not black and white, not binary! There are shadows in life!
She is single. She can't force the other person to fuck her. Hence the fault lies with them. Not her.
She can force the other person to not sleep with her though .
So a cheating husband has somehow turned into a single woman’s fault? .... ahh misogyny is alive and well here on fab
That is not what is being said, heperphetically if a single man/woman joins a couple and then continues with an affair/relationship outside of that couples relationship then it breaks down of course she/he is as much to blame despite who initiated the affair/relationship. Misogyny has nothing to do with it, to say that 3rd person isn't to blame because they didn't initiate it but are complicit is ludicrous.
This just illustrates the point that people change the narrative to admonish themselves of any responsibility but prepared to impose standards on others which they don't necessarily adhere to themselves. Which is the context of the scenario was given and stand in judgement over others when they have no real right to do so.
This isn't a personl attack on anyone just the identificaton swinging scene can lead itself implicit or complicit cheating and wreck homes either intentionally or unintentionally thus people should not sit in judgement on others but that will never happen because it is human nature."
They're absolutely at fault whether the relationship breaks down or not. A line has been crossed, which shouldn't have been regardless of whether the person in the relationship takes the offer up or not.
I was seeing a couple a few years ago. Part of my mindset is if one half was to aakcto meet on the sly I was gone.
Guess what? I didn't see them again after being asked to meet on the sly.
Simple.
And if I'd have been the one to initiate a sly meet (not that I would) I'd have expected to lose teeth and friends.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere."
At last, somebody gets it!
It's not about the rights and wrongs, it's about the judgmental attitude of some. By all means, if someone is open and honest about their status, and that offends you or goes against your own morals, give them a wide berth.
Once upon a time, I was always critical and dismissive of men who walked away from kids following a relationship breakdown. Then, I found myself in a situation where, following the failure of my marriage, I ended up having a protracted legal battle to get access to my children. It got very messy, and access rights turned into a custody battle which, after a few years and tens of thousands of pounds of my own money, But a single man going against the pre-concieved notions of a system that has been set up for women rather than men isn't an easy journey. Neither is seeing how a woman can get away with things in the process that would see the man locked up for. Fortunately for me, I won, and ended up with sole custody. But as well as securing my children's future, I also gained an incredible amount of self awareness and insight, of which not judging someone until you've walked in their shoes being a big learn. |
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"I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
At last, somebody gets it!
It's not about the rights and wrongs, it's about the judgmental attitude of some. By all means, if someone is open and honest about their status, and that offends you or goes against your own morals, give them a wide berth.
Once upon a time, I was always critical and dismissive of men who walked away from kids following a relationship breakdown. Then, I found myself in a situation where, following the failure of my marriage, I ended up having a protracted legal battle to get access to my children. It got very messy, and access rights turned into a custody battle which, after a few years and tens of thousands of pounds of my own money, But a single man going against the pre-concieved notions of a system that has been set up for women rather than men isn't an easy journey. Neither is seeing how a woman can get away with things in the process that would see the man locked up for. Fortunately for me, I won, and ended up with sole custody. But as well as securing my children's future, I also gained an incredible amount of self awareness and insight, of which not judging someone until you've walked in their shoes being a big learn."
They are both completely different scenarios!
I absolutely wouldn’t judge anyone in that situation and completely agree it’s totally female focussed.
How has that got anything to do with another person purposely being completely deceitful to someone?
Like why is the cheaters feelings soooo much more important than the person being cheated on?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe you should give the reasons why the busty beauty can’t leave and see what the audience think! "
And now you get to the nub of my point... the reasons would be known to the busty beauty and her partner, and can be complex and unique to them. 99% could be perfect, but the missing 1% still required. But the point being it's not up to the audience to decide, it's up to the busty beauty, and her choices should be free of judgment from the audience. |
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"Happen to me ,I was the innocent party ,don't know how long it carried on for ,only found out when I finished work early ,walked in to them on FaceTime to each other ,not a good day
Sorry to hear this, I know how hurtful it is when someone you trust does the dirty and cheats on you. It happened to me. Now I’ll never trust anyone again!
Trust hmmmm now there's a word "
Being on the receiving end of someone cheating on me for God knows how long ,makes this an interesting thread |
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"Maybe you should give the reasons why the busty beauty can’t leave and see what the audience think!
And now you get to the nub of my point... the reasons would be known to the busty beauty and her partner, and can be complex and unique to them. 99% could be perfect, but the missing 1% still required. But the point being it's not up to the audience to decide, it's up to the busty beauty, and her choices should be free of judgment from the audience."
If 99% is perfect why wouldn’t you have an honest conversation about the 1%?
99% can’t be perfect if your happy to lie to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They are both completely different scenarios!"
...but the willingness of others to judge, without knowing the full facts or having walked the same road, is there in both.
We are not fit to judge others. Remember, to the vanilla world, we're a bunch of deviant perverts heading for eternal damnation. |
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"They are both completely different scenarios!
...but the willingness of others to judge, without knowing the full facts or having walked the same road, is there in both.
We are not fit to judge others. Remember, to the vanilla world, we're a bunch of deviant perverts heading for eternal damnation."
I’d like to think the swinging community is probably more open minded than most. People judge for all sorts of reason and most of it is bullshit.
But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
Would anyone actually ever fully trust a person who you know has cheated? I wouldn’t. As a friend or partner. |
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"Maybe you should give the reasons why the busty beauty can’t leave and see what the audience think!
And now you get to the nub of my point... the reasons would be known to the busty beauty and her partner, and can be complex and unique to them. 99% could be perfect, but the missing 1% still required. But the point being it's not up to the audience to decide, it's up to the busty beauty, and her choices should be free of judgment from the audience."
Absolute codswallop!
You tell a half story! Why bother? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jack and Jill got married young. On a Sunday evening, they liked nothing more than watching Poldark. After a while, Jack decided he didn't want to watch Poldark any more. Jill was still very invested in Poldark.
Jill identified reasons why Jack didn't like Poldark any more. Despite Jill suggesting seeking treatment for those reasons, and trying to discuss the series in detail, Jack has his mind made up. He would no longer watch Poldark with Jill.
Jill really enjoyed Poldark, and hadn't reached the series conclusion yet. So, when Jack isn't around, Jill goes to a friends house and watches Poldark on Netflix with a friend. Jill has since been introduced to Bridgerton, and that dashing Duke of Hastings, and realises the world has a lot more to offer than just vanilla Poldark! |
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"Jack and Jill got married young. On a Sunday evening, they liked nothing more than watching Poldark. After a while, Jack decided he didn't want to watch Poldark any more. Jill was still very invested in Poldark.
Jill identified reasons why Jack didn't like Poldark any more. Despite Jill suggesting seeking treatment for those reasons, and trying to discuss the series in detail, Jack has his mind made up. He would no longer watch Poldark with Jill.
Jill really enjoyed Poldark, and hadn't reached the series conclusion yet. So, when Jack isn't around, Jill goes to a friends house and watches Poldark on Netflix with a friend. Jill has since been introduced to Bridgerton, and that dashing Duke of Hastings, and realises the world has a lot more to offer than just vanilla Poldark!"
Take out all emotional connection to prove a point
Maybe Jack should stop being an arse and appreciate relationships work both ways.
Maybe Jack is ok with wife going elsewhere- perfect
Jill should leave Jack if hes not ok with it and she wants to continue anyway.
Simple |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jack and Jill got married young. On a Sunday evening, they liked nothing more than watching Poldark. After a while, Jack decided he didn't want to watch Poldark any more. Jill was still very invested in Poldark.
Jill identified reasons why Jack didn't like Poldark any more. Despite Jill suggesting seeking treatment for those reasons, and trying to discuss the series in detail, Jack has his mind made up. He would no longer watch Poldark with Jill.
Jill really enjoyed Poldark, and hadn't reached the series conclusion yet. So, when Jack isn't around, Jill goes to a friends house and watches Poldark on Netflix with a friend. Jill has since been introduced to Bridgerton, and that dashing Duke of Hastings, and realises the world has a lot more to offer than just vanilla Poldark!"
I think the comparison between ogling some male eye candy on the box and bedding the star of the show is a little tenuous? |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I know quite a few women who shut up shop, just because they can't be bothered to make the effort any more.
I find it annoying that men are always blamed for the wives' lack of sex drive, yet women are ok to cheat when their man loses his.
Said men can leave ......
They could, but they can also find sex elsewhere so they don't have to disrupt their children's lives. Plus, the wives like spending the money said men bring in.
I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
I’d absolutely blame them for looking elsewhere and not communicating with a person they are meant to love.
What has money got to do with it? Why even involved that.
Same as kids, plenty of singles co parent fantastically. Just an excuse. "
How do you know they haven't been communicating? Money is what the women need to buy the things they want, like cars, shoes and holidays. Some women will still want all those things if the man left.
Some women even turn a blind eye to their men's other women, as long as the money is rolling in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it? "
You're on a swingers site! You're judging! Yet, if you meet people on here, despite how well you are doing your due diligence, there is a very real chance that one or more of your playmates are not all they seem or who they say they are. But you carry on playing knowing there is a risk, yet still you judge others? I'm not saying you are wrong to hold firm views on cheating, I'm just saying it's a bit rich when you could, unknowingly, be contributing to causing hurt, upset and pain to another person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jack and Jill got married young. On a Sunday evening, they liked nothing more than watching Poldark. After a while, Jack decided he didn't want to watch Poldark any more. Jill was still very invested in Poldark.
Jill identified reasons why Jack didn't like Poldark any more. Despite Jill suggesting seeking treatment for those reasons, and trying to discuss the series in detail, Jack has his mind made up. He would no longer watch Poldark with Jill.
Jill really enjoyed Poldark, and hadn't reached the series conclusion yet. So, when Jack isn't around, Jill goes to a friends house and watches Poldark on Netflix with a friend. Jill has since been introduced to Bridgerton, and that dashing Duke of Hastings, and realises the world has a lot more to offer than just vanilla Poldark!
Take out all emotional connection to prove a point
Maybe Jack should stop being an arse and appreciate relationships work both ways.
Maybe Jack is ok with wife going elsewhere- perfect
Jill should leave Jack if hes not ok with it and she wants to continue anyway.
Simple "
Or just turn off the telly and shag the ears off each other......... |
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"I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
At last, somebody gets it!
It's not about the rights and wrongs, it's about the judgmental attitude of some. By all means, if someone is open and honest about their status, and that offends you or goes against your own morals, give them a wide berth.
Once upon a time, I was always critical and dismissive of men who walked away from kids following a relationship breakdown. Then, I found myself in a situation where, following the failure of my marriage, I ended up having a protracted legal battle to get access to my children. It got very messy, and access rights turned into a custody battle which, after a few years and tens of thousands of pounds of my own money, But a single man going against the pre-concieved notions of a system that has been set up for women rather than men isn't an easy journey. Neither is seeing how a woman can get away with things in the process that would see the man locked up for. Fortunately for me, I won, and ended up with sole custody. But as well as securing my children's future, I also gained an incredible amount of self awareness and insight, of which not judging someone until you've walked in their shoes being a big learn."
Cheating is wrong dress it up how you like ... your busty beauty sounds like a right entitled bitch |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't encourage cheating, and wouldn't do it myself, but I don't blame some people for looking for intimacy elsewhere.
At last, somebody gets it!
It's not about the rights and wrongs, it's about the judgmental attitude of some. By all means, if someone is open and honest about their status, and that offends you or goes against your own morals, give them a wide berth.
Once upon a time, I was always critical and dismissive of men who walked away from kids following a relationship breakdown. Then, I found myself in a situation where, following the failure of my marriage, I ended up having a protracted legal battle to get access to my children. It got very messy, and access rights turned into a custody battle which, after a few years and tens of thousands of pounds of my own money, But a single man going against the pre-concieved notions of a system that has been set up for women rather than men isn't an easy journey. Neither is seeing how a woman can get away with things in the process that would see the man locked up for. Fortunately for me, I won, and ended up with sole custody. But as well as securing my children's future, I also gained an incredible amount of self awareness and insight, of which not judging someone until you've walked in their shoes being a big learn.
Cheating is wrong dress it up how you like ... your busty beauty sounds like a right entitled bitch"
Have to agree with the lady! |
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"But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
You're on a swingers site! You're judging! Yet, if you meet people on here, despite how well you are doing your due diligence, there is a very real chance that one or more of your playmates are not all they seem or who they say they are. But you carry on playing knowing there is a risk, yet still you judge others? I'm not saying you are wrong to hold firm views on cheating, I'm just saying it's a bit rich when you could, unknowingly, be contributing to causing hurt, upset and pain to another person."
Sigh swingers are lacking in a moral compass swingers aren’t people who fuck anyone that offers swingers are people that believe in ethical non monogamy ... I don’t think you’re understanding rhe ethical bit. |
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"But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
You're on a swingers site! You're judging! Yet, if you meet people on here, despite how well you are doing your due diligence, there is a very real chance that one or more of your playmates are not all they seem or who they say they are. But you carry on playing knowing there is a risk, yet still you judge others? I'm not saying you are wrong to hold firm views on cheating, I'm just saying it's a bit rich when you could, unknowingly, be contributing to causing hurt, upset and pain to another person."
I don’t understand how it’s a bit rich having strong opinions on it.
The people I meet could well lie to me. They could if I met them on tinder or in asda.
I wouldn’t judge someone unknowingly doing that.
My point is doing it on purpose. Purposely being involved in that, or purposely causing that is vile.
It’s the deceit which is awful. I’ve never purposely deceived someone to get sex, never knowingly met someone who’s not single and partner not aware- so not sure how it’s a bit rich.
I’ve been caught out. I had sex in a club with a married man (obviously told me he was single).
Wife gets in contact with me and I tell her everything and spent months feeling awful for it.
It’s just horrible and I don’t know how anyone can support it or defend it. |
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"But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
You're on a swingers site! You're judging! Yet, if you meet people on here, despite how well you are doing your due diligence, there is a very real chance that one or more of your playmates are not all they seem or who they say they are. But you carry on playing knowing there is a risk, yet still you judge others? I'm not saying you are wrong to hold firm views on cheating, I'm just saying it's a bit rich when you could, unknowingly, be contributing to causing hurt, upset and pain to another person."
I found myself in that very situation. Hence my singles profile and no longer a couples one.
I did the responsible thing and ended it when I learned the full truth even though it broke my heart. I was disgusted in myself that I was partly responsible even though I had been lied to regarding his relationship status, so could, if I was so inclined, attempt to put all of the blame on his shoulders.
Thing is, I have been cheated on in the past and I know how crushing it is. I was sickened that I had been doing to someone else what I'd had done to me, albeit without my knowledge at the time. It has affected me and now I can't see me ever trusting again and certainly can't see me having another relationship.
The damage is real.
Swinging = CONSENSUAL non monogamy.
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"They are both completely different scenarios!
...but the willingness of others to judge, without knowing the full facts or having walked the same road, is there in both.
We are not fit to judge others. Remember, to the vanilla world, we're a bunch of deviant perverts heading for eternal damnation.
I’d like to think the swinging community is probably more open minded than most. People judge for all sorts of reason and most of it is bullshit.
But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
Would anyone actually ever fully trust a person who you know has cheated? I wouldn’t. As a friend or partner. "
I there is the crux of the these posts i'd say the swinging scene far from open minded as it claims to be, but should be, cos every time these posts turn up and they do frequently then people grab their pitchforks an shout cheats, scoundrels homewreker, blastfeamers heretics, burn the f.....rs |
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"But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
You're on a swingers site! You're judging! Yet, if you meet people on here, despite how well you are doing your due diligence, there is a very real chance that one or more of your playmates are not all they seem or who they say they are. But you carry on playing knowing there is a risk, yet still you judge others? I'm not saying you are wrong to hold firm views on cheating, I'm just saying it's a bit rich when you could, unknowingly, be contributing to causing hurt, upset and pain to another person."
How can you make assumptions like this about anyone on Fab? Some of us sound people out well before we indulge in a bit of how’s your father and the signs of a cheater are very strong and noticeable! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You seem to know so much about a couple’s marriage? Do they know they are a topic on a swingers site?
There was no need to describe her looks, why do we need to know she is beautiful with large boobs?
The fact is she is a cheater if she seeks desired attention elsewhere.
No one is tied to anyone so she has the option to leave. Believe me I know this.....!!!
Wether or not this couple exist, and wether or not I know anything about them isn't the point. And as nobody has been identified, real or imaginary, it's not real, it's a scenario.
For lots and lots of reasons people can't always leave, or don't want to leave. The crucial point was that playing offside could enable that couple (and family) to stay together, irrespective of boob size."
If they don't want to or can't leave, then don't cheat.
Simple really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t understand how it’s a bit rich having strong opinions on it.
The people I meet could well lie to me. They could if I met them on tinder or in asda "
Having a strong, robust opinion isn't rich, and I applaud your moral fortitude and resolute opinion.
The rich part is engaging in activities where you may unknowingly end up playing with somebody else guy (or girl). If you firmly believe in and live by the values you uphold in this thread, shouldn't you not be playing? You've been caught out once... that you know of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They are both completely different scenarios!
...but the willingness of others to judge, without knowing the full facts or having walked the same road, is there in both.
We are not fit to judge others. Remember, to the vanilla world, we're a bunch of deviant perverts heading for eternal damnation."
Swinging may well be considered as deviant, however it doesn't involve dishonesty.
Cheating is dishonest.
Simple really.
And being dishonest to a life partner? Unacceptable and we all know it.
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"I don’t understand how it’s a bit rich having strong opinions on it.
The people I meet could well lie to me. They could if I met them on tinder or in asda
Having a strong, robust opinion isn't rich, and I applaud your moral fortitude and resolute opinion.
The rich part is engaging in activities where you may unknowingly end up playing with somebody else guy (or girl). If you firmly believe in and live by the values you uphold in this thread, shouldn't you not be playing? You've been caught out once... that you know of. "
By that analogy you’d never leave your kids with a school teacher because one got convicted of child abuse once |
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"They are both completely different scenarios!
...but the willingness of others to judge, without knowing the full facts or having walked the same road, is there in both.
We are not fit to judge others. Remember, to the vanilla world, we're a bunch of deviant perverts heading for eternal damnation.
I’d like to think the swinging community is probably more open minded than most. People judge for all sorts of reason and most of it is bullshit.
But there’s 0 reason ever on the planet where it is ok to cheat. So why can’t I judge a person who thinks it’s ok to cause hurt, upset, pain, to another person and be deceitful about it?
Would anyone actually ever fully trust a person who you know has cheated? I wouldn’t. As a friend or partner.
I there is the crux of the these posts i'd say the swinging scene far from open minded as it claims to be, but should be, cos every time these posts turn up and they do frequently then people grab their pitchforks an shout cheats, scoundrels homewreker, blastfeamers heretics, burn the f.....rs"
So you can’t be open minded and not support cheating?
Not condoning cheating doesn’t make me any less open minded .
I kinda always presumed swinging couples, thrupples, open relationships were in it together, or aware. |
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"I don’t understand how it’s a bit rich having strong opinions on it.
The people I meet could well lie to me. They could if I met them on tinder or in asda
Having a strong, robust opinion isn't rich, and I applaud your moral fortitude and resolute opinion.
The rich part is engaging in activities where you may unknowingly end up playing with somebody else guy (or girl). If you firmly believe in and live by the values you uphold in this thread, shouldn't you not be playing? You've been caught out once... that you know of. "
So I can’t have sex because a man lied to me once?
As I’ve said, to me it’s all about deceit and being involved on purpose.
I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How can you make assumptions like this about anyone on Fab? Some of us sound people out well before we indulge in a bit of how’s your father and the signs of a cheater are very strong and noticeable! "
Because I know of someone who met someone on fab, entered a years long full on relationship with them, to find out they were already in another relationship and time slicing between the two.
So, how can you ever really know for sure? There are those who are honest and upfront about their status, and there are the others. Who do you trust? Who do you believe? Do you go with thorough due diligence, or listen to what you want to believe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By that analogy you’d never leave your kids with a school teacher because one got convicted of child abuse once "
Not quite, but it sort of explains why I never brought my kids up as Catholics like I was! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though "
Due dilligiance... how carefully did they check? |
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"I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though
Due dilligiance... how carefully did they check? "
You can only ask the question. I’m not a crazy arse stalker and I shouldn’t have to be. Neither should anyone else.
If I did the whole “all men arse arseholes cos one lied to me” rant I’d get slated for it.
But your basically telling me I shouldn’t be meeting off fab because one lied to me once and it puts me in the position to be lied to again.
I find that very strange logic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though
Due dilligiance... how carefully did they check?
You can only ask the question. I’m not a crazy arse stalker and I shouldn’t have to be. Neither should anyone else.
If I did the whole “all men arse arseholes cos one lied to me” rant I’d get slated for it.
But your basically telling me I shouldn’t be meeting off fab because one lied to me once and it puts me in the position to be lied to again.
I find that very strange logic. "
It may appear strange, but actually there is clarity to it.
If you've got strong views on something, and engage in an activity that could lead to you compromising this views, should you actually be doing it? |
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"I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though
Due dilligiance... how carefully did they check?
You can only ask the question. I’m not a crazy arse stalker and I shouldn’t have to be. Neither should anyone else.
If I did the whole “all men arse arseholes cos one lied to me” rant I’d get slated for it.
But your basically telling me I shouldn’t be meeting off fab because one lied to me once and it puts me in the position to be lied to again.
I find that very strange logic.
It may appear strange, but actually there is clarity to it.
If you've got strong views on something, and engage in an activity that could lead to you compromising this views, should you actually be doing it?"
Hence my analogy ... you send your child to a place where precious children have been hurt - should you therefore be sending them?
Let’s say it again for you as you appear to be ignoring SWINGING ISNT CHEATING. Once you are able to grasp the difference then you may see things a little clearer |
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"I’d never judge someone who’s lied to. That’s not their fault. If judge how they deal with the after math though
Due dilligiance... how carefully did they check?
You can only ask the question. I’m not a crazy arse stalker and I shouldn’t have to be. Neither should anyone else.
If I did the whole “all men arse arseholes cos one lied to me” rant I’d get slated for it.
But your basically telling me I shouldn’t be meeting off fab because one lied to me once and it puts me in the position to be lied to again.
I find that very strange logic.
It may appear strange, but actually there is clarity to it.
If you've got strong views on something, and engage in an activity that could lead to you compromising this views, should you actually be doing it?"
Unfortunately I can’t stop men lying... well the eradication of men might help... but I can’t control that. Shame!
So by your logic, I’m not allowed to (vanilla) date, have sex, attend clubs, go out for drinks, have meals with my friends, play sports, run my gym... all places I’ve met men, just incase a man lies to me about being single?
Nothing like “victim/ innocent party” shaming there!
How about people just be better people and don’t lie
The world would be a nicer place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let’s say it again for you as you appear to be ignoring SWINGING ISNT CHEATING. Once you are able to grasp the difference then you may see things a little clearer "
I know the difference.
How do you know all those single males are actually single, or the married couples are married to each other? My point is, you can't be 100% sure all the time, but you take the risk none the less... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So by your logic, I’m not allowed to (vanilla) date, have sex, attend clubs, go out for drinks, have meals with my friends, play sports, run my gym... all places I’ve met men, just incase a man lies to me about being single? "
You mean your not sitting at home in lingerie waiting for him to home from a swingers club? (THAT'S A JOKE BEFORE I GET LYNCHED!)
I'm not victim shaming at all Layla. Never any need for that. What I was saying that there is a risk. I take your point about the ideal world. Yes, it would be lovely.
I'm a vegan. I read food labels very carefully. Sometimes, those pesky bastards seek a bit of fish gelatine in a drink ingredient (Im looking at you diet Pepsi) or something that I miss, or have something by accident. I do a lot of due diligence and checking, so I've only been caught once. |
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This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you! |
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"Let’s say it again for you as you appear to be ignoring SWINGING ISNT CHEATING. Once you are able to grasp the difference then you may see things a little clearer
I know the difference.
How do you know all those single males are actually single, or the married couples are married to each other? My point is, you can't be 100% sure all the time, but you take the risk none the less... "
No you cannot be 100% sure that a cheating scum bag isn’t going to lie to you. You have filters and let’s face it most women have had a lifetime of screening out arseholes. Doesn’t mean that WE should suffer due to men being faithless dicks. You do your due diligence like ... phone numbers, assessing what times they communicate and are available etx etc, nothing is fool proof but that is totally different to intentionally condoning people being unfaithful. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you! "
Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond?"
Make sure the video camera battery is charged and don't forget the tripod! |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"Like we said earlier.
Cheaters do protest a lot, don't they?
? Which cheaters are protesting a lot ??
We could pick out each one of them. "
If you can picket each one of them. Am I on that list? |
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"Like we said earlier.
Cheaters do protest a lot, don't they?
? Which cheaters are protesting a lot ??
We could pick out each one of them. "
Haha I honestly can’t be bothered with cheaters honestly or those that find it acceptable. |
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"This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you!
Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond?"
Well she would tell me, therefore it would not be a problem, and I would say ‘that’s wonderful can you send some pictures of your exploits, and tell me all about it’ |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you!
Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond?
Well she would tell me, therefore it would not be a problem, and I would say ‘that’s wonderful can you send some pictures of your exploits, and tell me all about it’ "
So would blokes/couples, but there is the issue and the essence of these posts and the title as she would be cheating but accepted cheating cos she's a woman, in the swinging world cheating f..ker if its a man and aww she must have her reasos if its a woman and the argument will go on
|
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"This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you!
Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond?
Well she would tell me, therefore it would not be a problem, and I would say ‘that’s wonderful can you send some pictures of your exploits, and tell me all about it’
So would blokes/couples, but there is the issue and the essence of these posts and the title as she would be cheating but accepted cheating cos she's a woman, in the swinging world cheating f..ker if its a man and aww she must have her reasos if its a woman and the argument will go on
"
Cheating is cheating it doesn’t matter what gender you are it doesn’t discriminate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Both sides have to live with deceit and hypocrisy.
Cheaters do so on their various sexual partners.
Swingers cheat on monogamy and the folk they promised such behaviour to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Both sides have to live with deceit and hypocrisy.
Cheaters do so on their various sexual partners.
Swingers cheat on monogamy and the folk they promised such behaviour to."
Not a comparison at all.
Cheaters are cheating on a person.
Swingers are not cheating an anyone. |
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" We just like honesty as we do live in Plymland and it's a small place although most think it's city which it isn't ! and so the so called scene is pretty small so always comes out in the end and always ends in tears !! but ..they always think they won't be caught out ?? "
Plymouth was definitely a city when we lived there, what changed? |
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"This is a very interesting post, and people will always have varying opinions, debate is a wonderful thing!
My girlfriend is on here with a single profile which states she is in a relationship with me. She states she won’t meet married or attached men. So mainly men message her, if she likes the message she responds. When they chat she asks them are you attached, some say yes, is that a problem so she asks ‘how would you feel if you found out your partner was on here meeting other men’ they seldom respond.
Then you have the next level ‘are you attached’ she asks ‘no’ comes the reply so her profile states ‘I won’t meet married men’ they ignore that. Then when she asks they say no, so she says ‘great, send me your number and I will FaceTime you over the next few days’ they seldom respond. Basically compulsive liars, so when they get caught, they will lie!
So my question is this.... yes we hear, she has gone off sex, he is impotent etc etc but the important thing is, to anyone married on this thread whose partner doesn’t know they are on here......
How would you feel if you found out that your significant other was playing behind your back?? Now I fully appreciate most will glibly say...... great I would say let’s set up a joint profile........ but would you!
Pose an alternate question if your GF was bi or bi curious, and she got a message from a married female wanting to meethow would she respond? How would you respond?
Well she would tell me, therefore it would not be a problem, and I would say ‘that’s wonderful can you send some pictures of your exploits, and tell me all about it’
So would blokes/couples, but there is the issue and the essence of these posts and the title as she would be cheating but accepted cheating cos she's a woman, in the swinging world cheating f..ker if its a man and aww she must have her reasos if its a woman and the argument will go on
"
I must admit I am not really understanding the point you are making here!
I live my life via the following, ABC, A = Assume nothing. B = Believe no one C = Check it out!
So your profile says you are a couple yet it’s a single profile, verifications...... 1 as such I am sceptical so in order for you to prove you and your wife have this open relationship.... why don’t you PM me for my girlfriends profile. Message her with your partners mobile number. My girlfriend can chat to her (geographically we are undesirable and you are not in her age range) however she can then come on this thread having spoken to your partner and say, no his views are shared by them both!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live my life via the following, ABC, A = Assume nothing. B = Believe no one C = Check it out!"
And if more did this, especially those swingers who are verdantly against cheating and think they have never been caught off guard did this, their moral fortitude would be enhanced.
I find the black and white rules being upheld, yet fluid views on due diligence a bit hypocritical. |
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"I live my life via the following, ABC, A = Assume nothing. B = Believe no one C = Check it out!
And if more did this, especially those swingers who are verdantly against cheating and think they have never been caught off guard did this, their moral fortitude would be enhanced.
I find the black and white rules being upheld, yet fluid views on due diligence a bit hypocritical."
Lots of ‘due diligence’ referencing here! |
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" We just like honesty as we do live in Plymland and it's a small place although most think it's city which it isn't ! and so the so called scene is pretty small so always comes out in the end and always ends in tears !! but ..they always think they won't be caught out ??
Plymouth was definitely a city when we lived there, what changed?"
It’s still a city last I checked because it has a cathedral |
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"Both sides have to live with deceit and hypocrisy.
Cheaters do so on their various sexual partners.
Swingers cheat on monogamy and the folk they promised such behaviour to."
I've genuinely never understood this argument.
If I was an activist, campaigning for monogamy, publicly decrying swinging and privately having multiple partners I'd be falsely representing myself, a massive hypocrite and cheating my followers. But I'm not, I've never promised anybody that I'd only have sex with one person for the rest of my life.
Society does make assumptions about married people and individuals make assumptions about the marriage contract but that doesn't make me a cheat or hypocrite.
I genuinely don't care if other people lie and cheat on their partners and I can't claim that we haven't met married people, although we do our best not to there are a couple of occasions when we know we've been caught out. I just don't like it when they try to deflect their behaviour away from themselves. If you're going to do it, get on with it, accept that it's your decision and live with his it makes you feel, personal responsibility in other words. Just don't blame other people or justify your behaviour to anybody but those concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheaters do so on their various sexual partners.
Swingers cheat on monogamy and the folk they promised such behaviour to."
To sum this up in a word, the word would be bullshit.
If a couple who swing, together or separately with the consent of the other, then they are not cheating. That are not monogamous, but are so with each others consent.
A cheater would be someone who is doing so without the knowledge or consent of their spouse or partner. While they may be chatting on that person, their swinging partner (or partners) may be fully aware of their status and be comfortable with that, and agree within the parameters of that relationship that they can have other swinging partners. So your assumption that to cheat on one you cheat on all is incorrect. |
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