FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Definition of 'single'
Definition of 'single'
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By *harpDressed Man OP Man
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
I don't want this to end up in a "married men are all cheats" thread - let's assume that for the purposes of this thread!
My question really comes from my wanting to be open about my situation without using up all my time talking about it.
At what point do I cease to be married and become single? Legally obviously there's a specific cutoff, but plenty of people don't divorce due to cost/kids/laziness when in fact there is no point at which their lives intersect. So how do I define it? How long after moving out is it just a temporary thing? 3 months?
I can imagine one response being "once you've told your wife you'll be seeing other people", but that isn't plausible when doing so could impact on any future divorce.
Any views? I'd especially appreciate the comments of those who are or have been in the same position |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A definition of single is the end of any relationship, be that married or otherwise. You dont technically or legally have to be divorced to have a single title.
If you are living alone or with children and have no permanent partner then I would call myself single.
Hope this helps |
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Well as a married woman who cheats!!!, I cannot say on my profile that I am a couple, because techincally I meet as a single as opposed to one of a pair.
It does state at the start of my profile that I am a married woman and I always say and give the guy the option to back out
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By *harpDressed Man OP Man
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Don't think you ever become single after being married, well as in the definition anyway, it normally changes to widowed, divorced etc?"
Understood - really meant on this site - nobody has a profile that says "not looking for divorced/widowed guys"! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well as a married woman who cheats!!!, I cannot say on my profile that I am a couple, because techincally I meet as a single as opposed to one of a pair.
It does state at the start of my profile that I am a married woman and I always say and give the guy the option to back out
and i am a married man who cheats albeit with a swing partner..... the vast majority of single women on swingers sites say they don't touch married men which imo is a tad hypocritical if they have dogging and gangbangs and clubs in there list of interests...i would venture to say that sex with a married man does offer better discretion locally.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't think you ever become single after being married, well as in the definition anyway, it normally changes to widowed, divorced etc?
Understood - really meant on this site - nobody has a profile that says "not looking for divorced/widowed guys"!"
Brb, we can change that.  |
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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago
clacton on sea |
single, married,divorced or just plain whatever, does it really matter, if your both consenting adult's and truthful about who and what you are,then what ever you get up to is entirely down to the individuals in the end.
Honesty and respectand discretion are key things in anything you do,so if your open and honest about who you are and where you stand on the relationship ladder then alls good, and it's then down to the respective partner to make up their minds if things go any further.
i'm divorced so i class myself of the single type,and if i'm meeting a lady who is married then i respect here need for total discretion.
those are my thoughts on the subject, and it is a subjective subject too |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Please don't turn this into another married thread with one half defending themselves for being married and attacking others who say they don't want to play with them........and the other half attacking them for being married.
It all ends up in wars and they end up getting shut.
Single is not attached to me.......no partner, no wife/husband that they live with.
Seperated? If you are not living as a couple then I would say you were single even though your papers don't say so yet. |
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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago
clacton on sea |
"Please don't turn this into another married thread with one half defending themselves for being married and attacking others who say they don't want to play with them........and the other half attacking them for being married.
It all ends up in wars and they end up getting shut.
Single is not attached to me.......no partner, no wife/husband that they live with.
Seperated? If you are not living as a couple then I would say you were single even though your papers don't say so yet."
i agree with you on your view point too  |
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"
I can imagine one response being "once you've told your wife you'll be seeing other people", but that isn't plausible when doing so could impact on any future divorce."
How is telling her going to impact on any divorce proceedings in the future? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it wouldnt at all, if a marriage is going through divorce the sitings of the divorce would have been set long before that. As in divorce papers drawn up and served stating the reason ie, adultery, unreasonable behaviour, irretrieavable breakdown etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im married but separated, i class myself as single because altho im still legally married to him we no longer have to answer to each other, we have our own lifes now so as far as im concerned im a single woman  |
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By *harpDressed Man OP Man
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"
How is telling her going to impact on any divorce proceedings in the future?"
Because they haven't started yet...?
I'm a bit of a novice at coming out of long term relationships, so you'll have to forgive me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course there is another definition i.e. that you are a member here solely, regardless of marriage status. I'm married, but have my wife’s general permission to seek 'fun' elsewhere (although how to get that across as the truth is probably a whole new string of posts on its own, if it's possible at all!)My profile says single, because if I were lucky enough to meet someone, I would be on my own. |
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Finally a man like me who is married and dare I say can have his cake as well, lol.
I have always endeavoured to be honest about my life, I am no different to all the married women who play with their husbands consent. I just happen to play with my wife’s consent and to be honest I’m not too bothered what people think, I only play with women or join in with a male/female couple, I am straight and see no problem in been married, I don’t hide it, had a few meets over the year between this site and another.
If I visit a club with my wife I am married, if I visit on my own I go as a single that is married.
Why cause complications it works for us, and I don’t have to lie. Personally I am not bothered about peoples status we are adult after all, and all have our choices.I suppose in one way, if we were all the same it would be a very boring life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just as it says in my profile,I am married but, regardless of whether I like it or not, circumstances determine that I must play as a single. "
playing as a single is totally different to being a single! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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single no partner or significant other
i am single
married means married
divorced means divorced
see the pattern here...
fuck buddies means usually 2 singles who play together no commitment
attached means i have partner but have not commited to the institute of marriage ..
if people were truthful it would save confusion!
as far as i am concerned seperated means just that....
some just want cake and eat it or have still got a lot of baggage or issues with the seperation...if you single u single!! i brace myself for the verbal attacks that follow but really dont care!!
ps 25 i play single but im married/attached messages makes you cynical its not single !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally ...I don't care...nothing to do with me and my status is really nothing to do with anyone else as long as people are respectful and discrete what do's it matter....peoples private lives are just that..private...know one knows what goes off behind other peoples closed doors and thats how it should be ....I'm single by the way :P |
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The way the solicitor explained it to me is that if any party finds any evidence of extramarital behaviour, at any point until the decree absolute it counts as adultery.
But come on, why should a mans/womans life go on hold for a piece of paper. If your separated it shouldnt matter. But I am sure some people here would agree with the law and others with common sense.
Myself I go with the latter but would disclose the current situation to potential play partners. A site like this relies on honesty. (and there is some about) But I dont feel the need to put on my profile, about all the ins and outs of my situation.
Shoot me if you think I am wrong but thats my take on things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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so basically even if u legally seperated u cant get your leg over until the decree absolute comes through??? sod that for soldiers!!! another reason not to commit to the institute! so u could b hangin about for months with no sex in case it counts as adultery???? but its not a shootin offence and your life wont alter because you have adultry on your divorce certificate and nothin really relies on it!  |
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"labels - shnabels - if you're not in a steady relationship you're single - rocket science? nah!
oh hello u!! wondered where u were tonite!! lol xxx"
hi there, been out, but dragging stevie to bed now!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a tough one!
Officially, I am a divorcee, as I was married and divorced my ex-hubby in early 2005.
However, unofficially, I am a widow after my late partner's death back in Nov 08. This reflect more accurately my mental state due to emotional attachment even though we were not married or lived together.
I style myself as a singleton when I came out of retirement and start playing again in Aug 09 
Back to OP, just be honest about it. IMHO, if you are unlikely to get back together as a couple, then you may as well style yourself as a singleton.
Good luck!  |
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