FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Does lingerie mean?
Does lingerie mean?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with? |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
Google 'tea and consent' by Thames Valley Police  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the only thing that means someone wants to have sex is their proposition to you and their consent to you.
"
Off topic. But love your profile description! |
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
The only way to find out what a woman really wants is by asking her.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what situation would she be sat next to you in just lingerie where you aren't sure of her intentions?  "
Club setting some clubs have a lingerie or boxers or naked only after 11pm
So someone could be sat at the table next to your table in lingerie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what situation would she be sat next to you in just lingerie where you aren't sure of her intentions?
Club setting some clubs have a lingerie or boxers or naked only after 11pm
So someone could be sat at the table next to your table in lingerie "
Oh sure, in that case wait until there's a clear conversation about it  I was imagining them both being sat in his living room or something |
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
I have worn lingerie in clubs and unfortunately for a lot of men in their heads it means "oh she wants it"
Nothing more unattractive than a man or woman who assumes anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what situation would she be sat next to you in just lingerie where you aren't sure of her intentions?
Club setting some clubs have a lingerie or boxers or naked only after 11pm
So someone could be sat at the table next to your table in lingerie
Oh sure, in that case wait until there's a clear conversation about it I was imagining them both being sat in his living room or something "
Even sitting in the living room maybe someone’s feeling down and not feeling very sexy so has put something on to try and brighten they day up just never know really
Asking the only way never amuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lingerie is becoming day wear....
The only thing that spells guaranteed sex is if someone says "would you like to have sex with me".
Tbh from my perspective I think it's very english to thnk that someone who looks hot needs a good "ramming"... in Europe you can be hot and not be pestered... jus saying.... cultural differences are very apparent once you live elsewhere.. and in the UK I think we're VERY behind the times.. especially since this is the 21st fricken century already?!! lol
x |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It has actually happened to me more than once, and it definitely did not mean sex. All it meant was that I'm a friend who they trust and feel comfortable with.
In a club, it happens all the time. Sitting next to someone, naked, having a conversation about sex, doesn't mean sex either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The side I take in this is that it doesn't mean she is looking to have sex, sadly my friend doesn't see it that way, but then again he took it to mean that because I walked a female friend home from the pub one night because she was very d*unk and it was a long dark walk home, that she wanted sex, and he couldn't see that you can be nice to a female friend without it meaning sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In what situation would she be sat next to you in just lingerie where you aren't sure of her intentions? "
I used to know a woman that walked around in front of me and other male friends in just a towel, in her underwear, and would stop and have a conversation as she went around her house getting dressed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck no... I'm forever flouncing around in my underwear... Like in the summer I only get propperly dressed if I have to be somewhere.... But I certainly don't wanna have sex with everyone who sees me dressed like that haha |
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
If you were sitting next to a woman in lingerie... Nice idea... Sitting next to a woman in any outfits a nice idea right now... As for does she want it... You'd have to be a mind reader to know that... Either that or strike up a conversation. I'd think it safe to assume nothing other than she forget to put her clothes on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op? "
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on."
What was the actual context of your original post? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if I'm wearing a bikini.. Am I ready for a shag?"
Well since that's swimwear, it would be fair to assume that you're going for a swim or to sunbathe
Would you wear a bikini for another reason? |
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Look at Comic-Con - I have literally seen Women there wearing knickers and nothing else, with their hair covering their breasts (they were probably wearing those chicken fillet things over their nipples, but you get my drift about the severe lack of clothing).
Doesn't mean it's a free-for-all. |
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
No I wear stockings to work believe me lingerie is just that not an invitation for sex. |
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If she's sitting next to you in her underwear and she's either performing fellatio or manually masturbating you, then it may be OK to assume she wants sex. Otherwise, no keep your hands to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if I'm wearing a bikini.. Am I ready for a shag?
Well since that's swimwear, it would be fair to assume that you're going for a swim or to sunbathe
Would you wear a bikini for another reason?"
By the same token, if I'm wearing lingerie it would be fair to assume I going to work, or to visit my mum or to cinch in the foodbaby I developed after a massive bowl of pasta.... all valid reasons for wearing lingerie.
Assume nothing, get explicit consent. |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Peterborough, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
I think it depends on context. If a friend who knew she was 'my type' was expecting me to knock on her door and answered it in heels and sexy underwear, then came and sat right next to me on the sofa, I think I might suspect there was some mild flirting and subtle sexy undertones going on.
But beyond that, I don't think I'd be assuming anything, not even if she were nude - I've spent time nude with/around some incredibly attractive women at nudist venues, and never with any hint of anything sexual. Again, its all about context. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of interest. Outside of a club environment or swinging context, how many women would sit next to a man apart from their partner, wearing just lingerie in order to conduct a conversation ?"
I wouldn't
I mentioned further up that I don't like sending mixed messages
I can't think of any everyday context that I'd be in my undies in the company of a man.
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"Out of interest. Outside of a club environment or swinging context, how many women would sit next to a man apart from their partner, wearing just lingerie in order to conduct a conversation ?
I wouldn't
I mentioned further up that I don't like sending mixed messages
I can't think of any everyday context that I'd be in my undies in the company of a man.
"
Nor me. I won't even answer the door in my dressing gown |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?"
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him)."
Oh, I thought it was an actual situation when woman was wearing just lingerie. There's a bag of allsorts in that |
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him)."
Your friend is typical of many men. Wearing lingerie or underwear is something I do daily. I used to wear stockings hold ups to work too. It meant nothing other than I was wearing clothes.
I've seen women come down to breakfast in hotels in their dressing gowns and slippers and often wondered why but I don't think it means they want sex.
If as the op said a woman sat next to a man in her underwear I would wonder why on earth she couldn't put a robe on. It is sending mixed messages. If it wasn't your friend wouldn't have the mind set he has.
If I was at a man's house and he sat next to me in his pants I'd wonder what he was up to, is it different for women? |
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Could quite well send mixed messages but overwhelming in our case it would be a big fat "No" as sometimes women just like to show off ?? or even tease? and despite what any female chooses to wear or not to wear it doesn't and never should imply you are free to touch !! and we have had a few nights here when mrs4 and some of her friends have done a "Underwear show" andd same as she has sat on cam in her sexy stuff but way to many "Assume" she's then up for it ? or it's ok to send sexual messages ?? and the rule of thumb should always be ..If in doubt don't as a slap hurts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him)."
This pans out on here too. Just because I reply to a message doesn’t mean I fancy the sender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lingerie is just underwear. I meet women who wear underwear all day every day.
Do they sit next to you in just underwear?"
Nope, but I’ve had many a conversation for conversations sake in clubs when I’m in my underwear or less with no intention of having sex with that person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him).
This pans out on here too. Just because I reply to a message doesn’t mean I fancy the sender. "
If only I could like a comment on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
You need to get this one right if you or "friend" have or, are thinking of attending any clubs!!! |
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"Lingerie is just underwear. I meet women who wear underwear all day every day.
Do they sit next to you in just underwear?
Nope, but I’ve had many a conversation for conversations sake in clubs when I’m in my underwear or less with no intention of having sex with that person. "
Yes, I've had many conversations with men when I've been naked. It's always been in the context of a naturist beach or a club. I wouldn't go to a man's home or invite a man to mine and remain naked or semi clothed out of respect for him if nothing else. Just as I would expect a man to at least put a pair of shorts or trousers on if I entered his home.
What I'm saying is that context is all and while it would be lovely if we could all walk about in whatever we chose without attracting unwanted attention, we can't. I'm not victim blaming, I'm being a realist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him)."
Maybe she literally told him she wants to shag you, and the fact he told you on that day in her strange outfit, was just a red herring/ not relevant.
But you are right, consent is relevant, outfit is not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you assume a short skirt gives permission to touch a ladies bum op?
If you had read all of the comments I posted then you would know which side of the argument I fall on.
What was the actual context of your original post?
The argument started with a friend of mine a few years ago and has grown whenever we chat. It all started when we were staying at a hotel whilst attending a convention and his then girlfriend came down to breakfast in her nightie and housecoat (housecoat was tied closed), they both sat with me for breakfast, after she finished she left us to go shower and dress, he made a comment along the lines of "She wants to Shag you!" I told him to grow up, and since then he has brought up different scenarios that he thinks means a woman wants sex, and the lingerie one comes up a lot, basically he thinks if a woman is wearing just her lingerie around you then she must want to have sex with you. I am getting a little tired of telling him verbal consent means she wants to have sex, lingerie doesn't, neither does buying you a drink, and sitting next to you on a bus or train doesn't either (when he was about 15 years old a girl had to sit next to him on a bus and he thought it meant she liked him)."
Your mate sounds very much like an ex male friend of mine who believes that all women who dress scantily in the warmer months are doing so on purpose to tease men and him in particular...
All this is mostly just his thoughts in his head... that he felt free enough to voice to me.. then kept on telling me on numerous occasions.... probably because back then I'd let things like that slide.
The way I stopped him from saying that shizzle to me was by de-friending him so I didn't have to keep on being exposed to that old school mentality drivel.
He never did anything about it apart from stare like a tongue tied perve (lol)... but yeah i was shocked he was so egocentric to think all women dress "like whores' just to prick tease him all summer long?! = lol... makes his life more interesting I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's safe to say we all know "consent" is required...in any scenario. "
Lol exactly if I invite someone home and they decide to take clothes off then good chance we will have sex. Unless neither of us want too |
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"What if I'm wearing a bikini.. Am I ready for a shag?
Well since that's swimwear, it would be fair to assume that you're going for a swim or to sunbathe
Would you wear a bikini for another reason?"
Yes. In sauna and steam room.
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Peterborough, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
In the OP's context of a hotel, I think I'd find it strange in any hotel big or small to go to breakfast in pyjamas/nightwear. Then again, some go to Tesco in their fluffy slippers and dressing gown... |
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"I think it's safe to say we all know "consent" is required...in any scenario. "
A surprising number of people struggle with the whole consent thing. Just yesterday a poster described consent as "politically correct crap"  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?"
Personally, I’d ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could you please help settle an argument I am having with a friend.
If you were sitting with a woman, and she was wearing only lingerie, would you take it to mean she was looking to have sex. It could be a female friend or someone you only just met, not necessarily someone you have been intimate with?
Personally, I’d ask."
This
The one time ‘faf’ is appropriate |
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