FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Asking if someone is clean?
Asking if someone is clean?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey. Quick question for you all. Before you meet someone, would you ask them if they were clean (of STIs etc), or would you just assume that because they're on Fab they're all good? I don't know what the etiquette is and of course we all want to be safe but also you don't want to come across as rude?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would endeavour to introduce it into conversation but ppl lie so that is no guarantee. Best to just play safe and get yourself checked out as regular as possible and keep track of who you go with when. Least you can trace it back if something does happen. |
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When we were playing regularly we would always have frequent Std check ups and would post this on our profile. Although it doesn’t mean the people you are playing with are 100% clean as you put it, but it did give us a degree of piece of mind. If playing regular it’s the grown up thing to do. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
You can ask they may not answer or lie. All you can do is look after your own health and get tested yourself regularly you can't control what others do.
What did annoy me when I was meeting is being asked and answering then being asked for proof of my results but they have none and haven't been tested themselves in ages if ever but seem to think I should still meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fair thing to ask, but it all boils down to trust.
As for evidence, not everywhere provides proof as standard. back at uni in leicester it was a case of no news is good news, or call them and they will tell you.
now in peterborough, they send a text with your results on. which is handy to provide if asked, if not your own piece of mind, as no news is good news still sucks a bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do ask about their last test and don't consider it rude, I'm more than happy to share that information about myself, and do get asked this and how many people I've had sex with since. But going bareback is still a calculated risk, you must be aware and accept that xx |
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"Hey. Quick question for you all. Before you meet someone, would you ask them if they were clean (of STIs etc), or would you just assume that because they're on Fab they're all good? I don't know what the etiquette is and of course we all want to be safe but also you don't want to come across as rude??"
Why would they say no? It's a pointless question. Much better to take time to get to know them and judge from their words and actions. |
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You just have to be responsible for your own sexual health. Use protection and get tested. You can’t rely on others to be honest and if they do show you proof of a clear test result it only means they were clear at the time of the test, they could’ve had other partners in the meantime.
Lou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t ask any swingers this question... They are always clean....
Now vanilla people, I would always ask this question..... I don’t trust them at all.... |
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"You just have to be responsible for your own sexual health. Use protection and get tested. You can’t rely on others to be honest and if they do show you proof of a clear test result it only means they were clear at the time of the test, they could’ve had other partners in the meantime.
Lou x "
some men can't be honest to their own partners we've found,so why would they be honest to someone on a meet about anything |
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"You just have to be responsible for your own sexual health. Use protection and get tested. You can’t rely on others to be honest and if they do show you proof of a clear test result it only means they were clear at the time of the test, they could’ve had other partners in the meantime.
Lou x some men can't be honest to their own partners we've found,so why would they be honest to someone on a meet about anything"
Exactly! And not just men. Only ever take risks you’re comfortable with. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s good to ask and establish the safer aspect of the experience but I’d ask in advance of the first meet haha.
I personally get checked out every 4-6 weeks and happy to prove results and failing that more than happy with safe sex 
Can’t let STIs get in the way of great sex  |
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"I wouldn’t ask any swingers this question... They are always clean....
Now vanilla people, I would always ask this question..... I don’t trust them at all...."
^^^^ There maybe some truth in this.... |
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"Hey. Quick question for you all. Before you meet someone, would you ask them if they were clean (of STIs etc), or would you just assume that because they're on Fab they're all good? I don't know what the etiquette is and of course we all want to be safe but also you don't want to come across as rude??"
Never assume anything.
Take the precautions you personally are happy with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty of profiles on with "safe sex" ticked as an interest and yet photos of them barebacking with multiple people. Or my personal favourite "gotcha" - seeing who comments on the bareback/cream pie/breeding posts. Great way to sure up your block list. |
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By *rs RavensongWoman
over a year ago
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire |
When I'm talking to someone new, and its obvious that we're moving the conversation towards making plans to meet, I'll often drop it into the conversation by saying something along the lines of "I regularly get myself tested every 3 months, regardless of whether or not I've had unprotected or safe sex with anyone other than my husband, and I've never had a positive result." This usually prompts them to respond accordingly, otherwise I'll simply ask in a non-judgemental way.
You can never actually be sure whether someone is telling you the truth, unless you see their text results (I always have a screenshot of mine available for anyone who wants to check), and I certainly wouldn't think any less of them if they brought the subject up first, quite the opposite, as long as it wasn't done in a derogatory way, obviously.
At the end of the day, getting yourself tested is the sensible, responsible thing to do when you enjoy this lifestyle - you shouldn't worry about asking someone you're planning to be intimate with, just try and do it in a positive, non-judgemental way. If they get uppity with you for asking, assume they don't get tested, and decide whether or not to meet them accordingly.
V x |
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"STI test results are like the MOT... only valid on the day!"
Yep, was going to say the same.
A test result is a snapshot of your health on the day of the test.
In the interim they might have fucked Tom, Dick and Harriet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey. Quick question for you all. Before you meet someone, would you ask them if they were clean (of STIs etc), or would you just assume that because they're on Fab they're all good? I don't know what the etiquette is and of course we all want to be safe but also you don't want to come across as rude??"
Condoms always. |
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. Condoms always 
