FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are sub women really this hard to find
Are sub women really this hard to find
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe try a specialised web site for this. I doubt you will find a woman on here who will do this.
"
I respectfully disagree, there are plenty of submissive women on here.
Op. It’s just time and patience I guess. |
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
"
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets. |
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By *linyMan
over a year ago
Manchester/London |
"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets. "
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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago
South Leicestershire |
"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
"
Completely agree, I have met on here and developed a relationships over a period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets. "
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?! 
(Sarcasm) |
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By *our HeroMan
over a year ago
south Oxfordshire |
"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
"
I totally agree with this. A dom/sub relationship requires a lot of trust and mutual understanding, which often requires building over time. When that trust is built though..... wow it’s fantastic!  |
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol."
So are you a switch? If it involves meeting a domme later down the line? |
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets.
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?!
(Sarcasm)"
You’ve been reading fifty shades too much! (Sarcasm). |
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Whilst I know a few submissive women here, I know there would be alarm bells ringing about meeting two Ds especially one with a single man profile.
Add to that a sub that is compatible with the both of you, it's not going to be an easy task. |
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol."
Grief you certainly do take a lot of pictures of yourself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol."
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I would think that any experienced single dom would know that: first finding a single sub is not straightforward; second as _icentious said finding a sub who you align with in terms of kink and mentally and physically is even more difficult; and third there is a distinction between submission, bottoming and being a toy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe try a specialised web site for this. I doubt you will find a woman on here who will do this.
I respectfully disagree, there are plenty of submissive women on here.
Op. It’s just time and patience I guess."
Well there is a lot of time on our hands at the moment lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
"
Well it would be a start. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets. "
Yes, its just getting the first nibble of the cherry that's really difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What made you think it would be easy?
You're looking for something quite niche "
I know but there will be someone that wants to start that journey.. hopefully lol |
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How easy is it for you to find women here, without a specialist interest? It's tough for you single men generally, some find it easier than others. Some of them are more desired by others too.
Add a global pandemic into the mix and people have other priorities.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Grief you certainly do take a lot of pictures of yourself "
Yes I know lol. Smile ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name."
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would think that any experienced single dom would know that: first finding a single sub is not straightforward; second as _icentious said finding a sub who you align with in terms of kink and mentally and physically is even more difficult; and third there is a distinction between submission, bottoming and being a toy."
Oh I am well aware of kink and submission etc, I've met a few couples and have a regular couple I meet up with at the moment, also women alone.
We chat for a while so I can find what makes them tick and we all have a great time.
I just wanted to find a new friend to share lol
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Whilst I know a few submissive women here, I know there would be alarm bells ringing about meeting two Ds especially one with a single man profile.
Add to that a sub that is compatible with the both of you, it's not going to be an easy task. "
We are a Dominant couple, with a couples profile, and have had a modicum of success in meeting likeminded people. But then we are not looking for a submissive, but instead people with similar interests who are happy to bottom for us as and when the time is right. A D/s dynamic and a Top/bottom play scene are two different things after all, and one may lead to another. |
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By *iAbbyTV/TS
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Submission is earnt not given. You need to respect, adore and worship your sub. Let her know how special she is. Connect emotionally and intellectually as well as physically. Support her and adore her. Make her special not just a notch on the bedpost. I don't think you should be putting the condition that she must be shared, especially with another woman is fair. If you have a domme make things fantastic for her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are subs on here but you need to have conversations and trust before you play established "
Exactly and this is what I'm hoping to do.
I'm experienced in this and the chance came up with a friend of mine hence the post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
"
This. Especially given that you want someone who will meet you and then also with your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It looks like I may of confused people.
I am experienced in what I am looking for, I play with a regular couple from fab also a female friend.
This same friend would like to share a female sub so I thought I would post what I'm looking for.
I understand about conversation and building trust, surely we learn that in day 1 of dom school lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It looks like I may of confused people.
I am experienced in what I am looking for, I play with a regular couple from fab also a female friend.
This same friend would like to share a female sub so I thought I would post what I'm looking for.
I understand about conversation and building trust, surely we learn that in day 1 of dom school lol.
"
You'd be surprised how many skipped thst class. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It looks like I may of confused people.
I am experienced in what I am looking for, I play with a regular couple from fab also a female friend.
This same friend would like to share a female sub so I thought I would post what I'm looking for.
I understand about conversation and building trust, surely we learn that in day 1 of dom school lol.
You'd be surprised how many skipped thst class. "
Thats where they went wrong, I enjoy that part, teasing mentally building anticipation.... to play with the mind for days or even weeks. |
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"Maybe try a specialised web site for this. I doubt you will find a woman on here who will do this.
I respectfully disagree, there are plenty of submissive women on here.
Op. It’s just time and patience I guess."
Just like fishing then. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe try a specialised web site for this. I doubt you will find a woman on here who will do this.
I respectfully disagree, there are plenty of submissive women on here.
Op. It’s just time and patience I guess.
Just like fishing then. "
Hopefully not as cold. |
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"Whilst I know a few submissive women here, I know there would be alarm bells ringing about meeting two Ds especially one with a single man profile.
Add to that a sub that is compatible with the both of you, it's not going to be an easy task.
We are a Dominant couple, with a couples profile, and have had a modicum of success in meeting likeminded people. But then we are not looking for a submissive, but instead people with similar interests who are happy to bottom for us as and when the time is right. A D/s dynamic and a Top/bottom play scene are two different things after all, and one may lead to another."
That's the thing you have a couples profile so I know that you both exist. Add to that I've seen your forum input over a period of time, so I have the impression you know your onions. I'd be more confident being approached by you both than a couple on a single male profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whilst I know a few submissive women here, I know there would be alarm bells ringing about meeting two Ds especially one with a single man profile.
Add to that a sub that is compatible with the both of you, it's not going to be an easy task.
We are a Dominant couple, with a couples profile, and have had a modicum of success in meeting likeminded people. But then we are not looking for a submissive, but instead people with similar interests who are happy to bottom for us as and when the time is right. A D/s dynamic and a Top/bottom play scene are two different things after all, and one may lead to another.
That's the thing you have a couples profile so I know that you both exist. Add to that I've seen your forum input over a period of time, so I have the impression you know your onions. I'd be more confident being approached by you both than a couple on a single male profile."
Thankyou for taking the time to read my posts.
I know you are right and i guess I will start a couple profile but as its tough to meet anyone at the moment I thought I would try this way first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol"
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves."
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name."
I do hope that the wink means you're not entirely serious - as a submissive myself I absolutely will question anything I choose to - I hold just as much control and right to question things as any dominant I may choose to give myself to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
I do hope that the wink means you're not entirely serious - as a submissive myself I absolutely will question anything I choose to - I hold just as much control and right to question things as any dominant I may choose to give myself to "
Of course we do and all things that happen between subs and doms are agreed to before. My post is about trying to find a female sub not the ethics between sub and dom.
As I said I am experienced and have had no complaints, I have turned down meets where I didnt think we were looking for the same thing. Therefore I won't be judged by someone that hasn't met me or discussed a meet with me.
Stay safe |
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"
Of course we do and all things that happen between subs and doms are agreed to before. My post is about trying to find a female sub not the ethics between sub and dom.
As I said I am experienced and have had no complaints, I have turned down meets where I didnt think we were looking for the same thing. Therefore I won't be judged by someone that hasn't met me or discussed a meet with me.
Stay safe "
The “ethics between sub and dom” are very important if you want to find a sub, and being so cavalier about such things won’t entice anyone.
You keep saying you’re “experienced” but your profile says your Dom side has only “recently come to the fore”, which is rather contradictory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its like searching the seashore each morning, sifting through the shiny glistening pebbles, spending time probing until one day you find the perfect one for you... Could be a lifetimes mission.. Took my DD 49 years to find me  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
I do hope that the wink means you're not entirely serious - as a submissive myself I absolutely will question anything I choose to - I hold just as much control and right to question things as any dominant I may choose to give myself to
Of course we do and all things that happen between subs and doms are agreed to before. My post is about trying to find a female sub not the ethics between sub and dom.
As I said I am experienced and have had no complaints, I have turned down meets where I didnt think we were looking for the same thing. Therefore I won't be judged by someone that hasn't met me or discussed a meet with me.
Stay safe "
No judgement - was a perfectly reasonable question/comment in response to your prior post, which if I were a submissive looking for a dominant, would cause me to question whether there was a potential match.
It may, as I suggested, have been intended as a jokey, throw away comment, but could also serve as a red flag as I am sure you can appreciate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
I do hope that the wink means you're not entirely serious - as a submissive myself I absolutely will question anything I choose to - I hold just as much control and right to question things as any dominant I may choose to give myself to
Of course we do and all things that happen between subs and doms are agreed to before. My post is about trying to find a female sub not the ethics between sub and dom.
As I said I am experienced and have had no complaints, I have turned down meets where I didnt think we were looking for the same thing. Therefore I won't be judged by someone that hasn't met me or discussed a meet with me.
Stay safe
No judgement - was a perfectly reasonable question/comment in response to your prior post, which if I were a submissive looking for a dominant, would cause me to question whether there was a potential match.
It may, as I suggested, have been intended as a jokey, throw away comment, but could also serve as a red flag as I am sure you can appreciate."
Absolutely agree. The comment made me uncomfortable. If I felt I couldn’t question something with my Dom, well. I wouldn’t feel like we had trust and respect for a start. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
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"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
"
Personally I don’t think “weeks” is long enough. I’d be looking at several months to vet you, and months more to vet your friend. I wouldn’t meet one D-type for anything but completely vanilla play after only a few weeks, never mind two. And honestly after only a few weeks, I wouldn’t know someone well enough to trust them to keep it vanilla even 1 on 1. I don’t think I’d ever agree to meet two Dominants together who already have a relationship with each other, I would feel outnumbered and unsafe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
"
I think the problem is 99% of the 'Doms' on here do behave in that way. I've got to the point that I don't trust people until I've really got to know them if it is pursuing a D/s dynamic.
But they/we are here, I see a lot of cross over between this site and the one one that begins with F!
Good luck on your search xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name."
But I am not your sub! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Maybe try a specialised web site for this. I doubt you will find a woman on here who will do this.
I respectfully disagree, there are plenty of submissive women on here.
Op. It’s just time and patience I guess."
There are but they likely don’t wanna meet random strangers and be dominated by them, some do though. You will have more luck meeting someone with tendencies , building a proper relationship and developing into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
Personally I don’t think “weeks” is long enough. I’d be looking at several months to vet you, and months more to vet your friend. I wouldn’t meet one D-type for anything but completely vanilla play after only a few weeks, never mind two. And honestly after only a few weeks, I wouldn’t know someone well enough to trust them to keep it vanilla even 1 on 1. I don’t think I’d ever agree to meet two Dominants together who already have a relationship with each other, I would feel outnumbered and unsafe."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
I do hope that the wink means you're not entirely serious - as a submissive myself I absolutely will question anything I choose to - I hold just as much control and right to question things as any dominant I may choose to give myself to
Of course we do and all things that happen between subs and doms are agreed to before. My post is about trying to find a female sub not the ethics between sub and dom.
As I said I am experienced and have had no complaints, I have turned down meets where I didnt think we were looking for the same thing. Therefore I won't be judged by someone that hasn't met me or discussed a meet with me.
Stay safe
No judgement - was a perfectly reasonable question/comment in response to your prior post, which if I were a submissive looking for a dominant, would cause me to question whether there was a potential match.
It may, as I suggested, have been intended as a jokey, throw away comment, but could also serve as a red flag as I am sure you can appreciate.
Absolutely agree. The comment made me uncomfortable. If I felt I couldn’t question something with my Dom, well. I wouldn’t feel like we had trust and respect for a start. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve spoken to a few women who are submissive but the Dom/Sub relationship needs time and trust. Hard to build that without being able to meet.
But there are definitely some amazing submissive women on here.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!"
And I dont want you to be !
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"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
"
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
I think the problem is 99% of the 'Doms' on here do behave in that way. I've got to the point that I don't trust people until I've really got to know them if it is pursuing a D/s dynamic.
But they/we are here, I see a lot of cross over between this site and the one one that begins with F!
Good luck on your search xx"
Thanks Vixen and I agree with you too many use the term and spoil it.
The only way to get to know people is to start chatting and that was all I was after, it seems through looking for chats I got the shitty end of the stick and the grief lol
Have fun Vixen
X |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
Personally I don’t think “weeks” is long enough. I’d be looking at several months to vet you, and months more to vet your friend. I wouldn’t meet one D-type for anything but completely vanilla play after only a few weeks, never mind two. And honestly after only a few weeks, I wouldn’t know someone well enough to trust them to keep it vanilla even 1 on 1. I don’t think I’d ever agree to meet two Dominants together who already have a relationship with each other, I would feel outnumbered and unsafe."
Agree....it’s a very gig ask. interestingly plenty of submissive men here are happy to meet a male dominant and his female switch / brat |
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"Without going over old messages and responses, im a friendly considerate guy that discusses needs of the people I meet.
We chat for weeks that way we will all have fun knowing what the limits are and what turns on couples or singles.
Im not someone that just jumps in and says im a dominant or a bull ready to bang hard and fast let me at you lol.
Personally I don’t think “weeks” is long enough. I’d be looking at several months to vet you, and months more to vet your friend. I wouldn’t meet one D-type for anything but completely vanilla play after only a few weeks, never mind two. And honestly after only a few weeks, I wouldn’t know someone well enough to trust them to keep it vanilla even 1 on 1. I don’t think I’d ever agree to meet two Dominants together who already have a relationship with each other, I would feel outnumbered and unsafe.
Agree....it’s a very gig ask. interestingly plenty of submissive men here are happy to meet a male dominant and his female switch / brat "
Perhaps men aren’t as hyper aware of safety as women are. Or perhaps safety concerns go out the window when they’re horny. The amount of messages I get from men asking me, a total stranger, to do very dangerous things to them, is quite worrying. I don’t think many women would message strange men like that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of."
Hi, subs/doms are equal its just a role we play because we like that escape. No offence to anyone meant.
|
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"The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name."
Red.
The best subs in my opinion actually question a lot more than a single just looking for a nsa meet would.
I consider the term 'best sub' to mean someone serious about exploring actual kink with someone, situations that involve actual impact or CNC type of scenerio. Not just a round a kinky sex or fantasy chat. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Agree....it’s a very gig ask. interestingly plenty of submissive men here are happy to meet a male dominant and his female switch / brat
Perhaps men aren’t as hyper aware of safety as women are. Or perhaps safety concerns go out the window when they’re horny. The amount of messages I get from men asking me, a total stranger, to do very dangerous things to them, is quite worrying. I don’t think many women would message strange men like that."
I think that's just the opposite side of the men who think they are dominant at work - they see it in porn or wherever, get turned on by it and think "I'll have some of that" without truly appreciating the finer points and indeed the dangers.
I uncovered my submissiveness around 25 years ago and in that time have played completely submissively with a handful of people (probably two or three) and each of them has been after I've had sufficient trust and respect to do so, and a level of comfort for my own safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of guys on here seem to expect women to just jump in to D/s dynamics without building up any kind of trust, setting boundaries etc and often they want a very specific scenario. Women on FAB aren't there merely for your wish fulfilment and it's not reasonable to expect many women to want to enter into that kind of scene with someone they've only briefly chatted to online. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of.
Hi, subs/doms are equal its just a role we play because we like that escape. No offence to anyone meant.
"
For some of us BDSM is not ropeplay or escape, but a reflection of something intrinsic to who we are. Understanding our kink completes us and makes sense of what was missing in our lives. I am not referring to those who claim to be "naturally dominant or submissive and therefore must be a sub or a dom". I am referring to those who feel they want something different but could not put there finger on it or felt they were weird having their fantasies until becoming intimate with BDSM and realising they are not alone (which is why I don't knock 50SOG). Not the stereotype of BDSM (for which I knock 50SOG) but the personal BDSM that only works for them.
I describe it as being bitten by a vampire, as much as you wish, you can't go back, but it can enrich your life. So those who have the mind reflect on being the best vampire they can be. That is because if people do the research there are many types of doms and subs. There is no one size fits all. Which is why I don't believe in "true doms or subs" it is what works for you.
People have different views but to me D/S is about a relationship that is more than play and requires not only trust as you need that for pick up play, but commitment.
Also, the submission must be earned as must the domination. It is then about power exchange in that relationship. It is an equal but unequal relationship. It is equal as we have the equal rights of human beings. It is unequal because there is only one captain. However it is not a despotic rule, it is a beneficial rule with the aim of bringing out the best in both and not to exploit the other. It is first amongst equals.
D/S is entirely different from topping and bottoming which is only about play with no long term commitment to a relationship. Generally when people on Fab say they want a "sub" they are really looking for a "bottom" play partner and to have no commitment to the long term relationship or the good of the sub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of.
Hi, subs/doms are equal its just a role we play because we like that escape. No offence to anyone meant.
For some of us BDSM is not ropeplay or escape, but a reflection of something intrinsic to who we are. Understanding our kink completes us and makes sense of what was missing in our lives. I am not referring to those who claim to be "naturally dominant or submissive and therefore must be a sub or a dom". I am referring to those who feel they want something different but could not put there finger on it or felt they were weird having their fantasies until becoming intimate with BDSM and realising they are not alone (which is why I don't knock 50SOG). Not the stereotype of BDSM (for which I knock 50SOG) but the personal BDSM that only works for them.
I describe it as being bitten by a vampire, as much as you wish, you can't go back, but it can enrich your life. So those who have the mind reflect on being the best vampire they can be. That is because if people do the research there are many types of doms and subs. There is no one size fits all. Which is why I don't believe in "true doms or subs" it is what works for you.
People have different views but to me D/S is about a relationship that is more than play and requires not only trust as you need that for pick up play, but commitment.
Also, the submission must be earned as must the domination. It is then about power exchange in that relationship. It is an equal but unequal relationship. It is equal as we have the equal rights of human beings. It is unequal because there is only one captain. However it is not a despotic rule, it is a beneficial rule with the aim of bringing out the best in both and not to exploit the other. It is first amongst equals.
D/S is entirely different from topping and bottoming which is only about play with no long term commitment to a relationship. Generally when people on Fab say they want a "sub" they are really looking for a "bottom" play partner and to have no commitment to the long term relationship or the good of the sub."
 |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of.
Hi, subs/doms are equal its just a role we play because we like that escape. No offence to anyone meant.
For some of us BDSM is not ropeplay or escape, but a reflection of something intrinsic to who we are. Understanding our kink completes us and makes sense of what was missing in our lives. I am not referring to those who claim to be "naturally dominant or submissive and therefore must be a sub or a dom". I am referring to those who feel they want something different but could not put there finger on it or felt they were weird having their fantasies until becoming intimate with BDSM and realising they are not alone (which is why I don't knock 50SOG). Not the stereotype of BDSM (for which I knock 50SOG) but the personal BDSM that only works for them.
I describe it as being bitten by a vampire, as much as you wish, you can't go back, but it can enrich your life. So those who have the mind reflect on being the best vampire they can be. That is because if people do the research there are many types of doms and subs. There is no one size fits all. Which is why I don't believe in "true doms or subs" it is what works for you.
People have different views but to me D/S is about a relationship that is more than play and requires not only trust as you need that for pick up play, but commitment.
Also, the submission must be earned as must the domination. It is then about power exchange in that relationship. It is an equal but unequal relationship. It is equal as we have the equal rights of human beings. It is unequal because there is only one captain. However it is not a despotic rule, it is a beneficial rule with the aim of bringing out the best in both and not to exploit the other. It is first amongst equals.
D/S is entirely different from topping and bottoming which is only about play with no long term commitment to a relationship. Generally when people on Fab say they want a "sub" they are really looking for a "bottom" play partner and to have no commitment to the long term relationship or the good of the sub."
this!
and i don't think they even mean to be looking for a 'bottom', i think the definitions have got skewed or shall i say the usage has changed. its one of the problems in finding someone suitable..you dont know if you are even on same page definition wise before you start.
id be the unicorn with brass knobs on.what a great tagline  i might nick it..lol
however, i am an experienced sub with slave tendencies, require a stable and consistent relationship dynamic with a Dominant who is not sub, to another person. Sadly, i am currently health wise not in a position to do anything....dammit  |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"I'm looking for a sub lady that will meet with me then with me and my dominatrix friend at a later date. It seems impossible?? Are you there lol.
Lots of sub women on Fab. However as a sub myself I am never interested in men on Fab who use “Dom” in their profile name.
Its all a bit of fun, i changed it from shiny red pants lol
The best Dom’s, in my opinion, prefer to keep a low profile and choose to do the hunting themselves.
The best subs in my opinion wouldn't question a name.
But I am not your sub!
And I dont want you to be !
Your comment, even if you meant it as a joke, sounded as if you think ALL subs (not just your own sub) should shut up and not question any Dom on anything ever. You shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not reacted positively to that comment. Us subs get a lot of crap from wannabe Dominants, and your comment (even if a joke) sounds exactly the same to us as that crap we get so much of.
Hi, subs/doms are equal its just a role we play because we like that escape. No offence to anyone meant.
For some of us BDSM is not ropeplay or escape, but a reflection of something intrinsic to who we are. Understanding our kink completes us and makes sense of what was missing in our lives. I am not referring to those who claim to be "naturally dominant or submissive and therefore must be a sub or a dom". I am referring to those who feel they want something different but could not put there finger on it or felt they were weird having their fantasies until becoming intimate with BDSM and realising they are not alone (which is why I don't knock 50SOG). Not the stereotype of BDSM (for which I knock 50SOG) but the personal BDSM that only works for them.
I describe it as being bitten by a vampire, as much as you wish, you can't go back, but it can enrich your life. So those who have the mind reflect on being the best vampire they can be. That is because if people do the research there are many types of doms and subs. There is no one size fits all. Which is why I don't believe in "true doms or subs" it is what works for you.
People have different views but to me D/S is about a relationship that is more than play and requires not only trust as you need that for pick up play, but commitment.
Also, the submission must be earned as must the domination. It is then about power exchange in that relationship. It is an equal but unequal relationship. It is equal as we have the equal rights of human beings. It is unequal because there is only one captain. However it is not a despotic rule, it is a beneficial rule with the aim of bringing out the best in both and not to exploit the other. It is first amongst equals.
D/S is entirely different from topping and bottoming which is only about play with no long term commitment to a relationship. Generally when people on Fab say they want a "sub" they are really looking for a "bottom" play partner and to have no commitment to the long term relationship or the good of the sub.
this!
and i don't think they even mean to be looking for a 'bottom', i think the definitions have got skewed or shall i say the usage has changed. its one of the problems in finding someone suitable..you dont know if you are even on same page definition wise before you start.
id be the unicorn with brass knobs on.what a great tagline i might nick it..lol
however, i am an experienced sub with slave tendencies, require a stable and consistent relationship dynamic with a Dominant who is not sub, to another person. Sadly, i am currently health wise not in a position to do anything....dammit "
I remember your posts from over 3 years ago. Wishing you good health |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"That's the thing you have a couples profile so I know that you both exist. Add to that I've seen your forum input over a period of time, so I have the impression you know your onions. I'd be more confident being approached by you both than a couple on a single male profile."
I do hope you didn’t take my quoting of your comment in an unwanted way?
I was just trying to suggest that
a) having a couples profile may work out better if the intention is to double Dom or even have a single Dom and include a second sub into the mix, as people are naturally wary about the “off site” second person and
b) there is a world of difference between Dom/sub and arranging Top/bottom play scene as Zensual later commented on.
The reality is as others have said, there are plenty of people on this site who would fall i to the category of “true submissive”, but like any relationship they take time, communication and a mutual desire to explore together. |
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets.
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?!
(Sarcasm)"
I genuinely thought that's what it meant : I have a lot to learn x  |
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"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets.
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?!
(Sarcasm)
I genuinely thought that's what it meant : I have a lot to learn x "
It will mean that for some people, in certain dynamics, but only after trust is established and after negotiation of what that dynamic will look like for the people involved. It doesn’t mean that you have to do whatever any random “Dom” on the internet tells you to do, when you don’t know each other and you haven’t agreed to anything with them.
Being a sub doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to tell someone where to go if you don’t like the way they’ve approached you, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets.
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?!
(Sarcasm) I genuinely thought that's what it meant : I have a lot to learn x "
You should *always* feel confident to question something/anything. You should have safe words that you can use (both Dom and sub).
I have absolute trust in him, that he will watch me, listen to me and respect me, which is why our relationship is constantly evolving, and we can push boundaries, because he makes me feel safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of guys on here seem to expect women to just jump in to D/s dynamics without building up any kind of trust, setting boundaries etc and often they want a very specific scenario. Women on FAB aren't there merely for your wish fulfilment and it's not reasonable to expect many women to want to enter into that kind of scene with someone they've only briefly chatted to online. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That's the thing you have a couples profile so I know that you both exist. Add to that I've seen your forum input over a period of time, so I have the impression you know your onions. I'd be more confident being approached by you both than a couple on a single male profile.
I do hope you didn’t take my quoting of your comment in an unwanted way?
I was just trying to suggest that
a) having a couples profile may work out better if the intention is to double Dom or even have a single Dom and include a second sub into the mix, as people are naturally wary about the “off site” second person and
b) there is a world of difference between Dom/sub and arranging Top/bottom play scene as Zensual later commented on.
The reality is as others have said, there are plenty of people on this site who would fall i to the category of “true submissive”, but like any relationship they take time, communication and a mutual desire to explore together."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am a submissive woman but... submission takes a lot of trust and so it's not something I do with casual hook ups, only within a relationship.
Thats a really good point you need to trust someone and you don't really get that with one off meets.
But I thought being sub meant you would be easy and do anything a dom would tell you?!
(Sarcasm)
I genuinely thought that's what it meant : I have a lot to learn x
It will mean that for some people, in certain dynamics, but only after trust is established and after negotiation of what that dynamic will look like for the people involved. It doesn’t mean that you have to do whatever any random “Dom” on the internet tells you to do, when you don’t know each other and you haven’t agreed to anything with them.
Being a sub doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to tell someone where to go if you don’t like the way they’ve approached you, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise."
I agree - I am sub sexually only and have been since 17. However I am independent and very alpha in day to day life and don’t allow any man to “Dom” me outside of that part of our relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is a sub for the right person. Equally each sub my not be suitable for everyone.
The dynamic has to work and cant be forced. "
I disagree - some people are just naturally dominant/alpha and don’t wish to be a sub to anyone. Anyone can pretend/act anything but to truly be something it has to come from somewhere inside. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Everyone is a sub for the right person. Equally each sub my not be suitable for everyone.
The dynamic has to work and cant be forced.
I disagree - some people are just naturally dominant/alpha and don’t wish to be a sub to anyone. Anyone can pretend/act anything but to truly be something it has to come from somewhere inside."
Absolutely it does - it's a very innate thing in its purest form. That said I think it is very "person dependent" too, whilst my instinctive nature is one of submissiveness, I've only truly "felt" submissive to a handful of people.
In that respect, whilst I don't disagree with your comment about some people being naturally alpha/dominant and not having a submissive bone in their body, I do think it's possible to feel submissive to some people, yet dominant towards others, and on an equal footing with yet others - it may not play out in a D/s way (I don't have a dominant side at all, yet in the right situation can be quite assertive and more in control with some people) but in other ways for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone is a sub for the right person. Equally each sub my not be suitable for everyone.
The dynamic has to work and cant be forced.
I disagree - some people are just naturally dominant/alpha and don’t wish to be a sub to anyone. Anyone can pretend/act anything but to truly be something it has to come from somewhere inside.
Absolutely it does - it's a very innate thing in its purest form. That said I think it is very "person dependent" too, whilst my instinctive nature is one of submissiveness, I've only truly "felt" submissive to a handful of people.
In that respect, whilst I don't disagree with your comment about some people being naturally alpha/dominant and not having a submissive bone in their body, I do think it's possible to feel submissive to some people, yet dominant towards others, and on an equal footing with yet others - it may not play out in a D/s way (I don't have a dominant side at all, yet in the right situation can be quite assertive and more in control with some people) but in other ways for sure."
Surely that would describe a switch rather than a pure sub or Dom? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Everyone is a sub for the right person. Equally each sub my not be suitable for everyone.
The dynamic has to work and cant be forced.
I disagree - some people are just naturally dominant/alpha and don’t wish to be a sub to anyone. Anyone can pretend/act anything but to truly be something it has to come from somewhere inside.
Absolutely it does - it's a very innate thing in its purest form. That said I think it is very "person dependent" too, whilst my instinctive nature is one of submissiveness, I've only truly "felt" submissive to a handful of people.
In that respect, whilst I don't disagree with your comment about some people being naturally alpha/dominant and not having a submissive bone in their body, I do think it's possible to feel submissive to some people, yet dominant towards others, and on an equal footing with yet others - it may not play out in a D/s way (I don't have a dominant side at all, yet in the right situation can be quite assertive and more in control with some people) but in other ways for sure.
Surely that would describe a switch rather than a pure sub or Dom?"
It could do yes, but was also a more generalised comment about how we each approach life and that some people we are more naturally submissive to, and others more dominant to etc |
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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago
NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts |
I think a personal DM from a Dom who knows how to read my profile and see what I'm looking for and is about to start a conversation is far more appealing than a blanket call out for subs wanting a Dom. It's so much more than that. |
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By *inranWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
Do you want a submissive woman or someone wanting to role-playing D/s?
It's very different and the session based aspect suggests to me you want role play.
Possibly a masochist bottom.
But sorting those points out may help |
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» Add a new message to this topic
. As others have said- trust of a sub is key. It will take a lot to find one, and then for you all to gel. Try the other site. 