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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What is it with the people on here have they got no manners at all had a pic request so sent a pic next thing I blocked why the hell can't people get manners and just say no thanks not my type ? |
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It's a long standing complaint, littered around the forums. The process seems to be fairly standard practice for many, but also has benefits for both sides.
Blocking is a clear signal that nothing's progressing, and stops any further energy being invested in the process: no more emailing, no demands for explanations of 'why not' etc.
There are many on Fab who have been hassled when they've turned someone down, so it's become a method to prevent that happening. Whilst others have suggested a standard type message that could be sent, such as thanks, but no thanks, with or without blocking, we're not at that point.
When you've been blocked, it does put the onus on the blocked people to discover this, when they attempt to again contact the party who's done the blocking and find that they cannot.
My preference is to let people know what's going on and think honesty is good. That said, sometimes responding/managing messages can be a huge workload for many on Fab, so the quick exit strategy works for them.
For now, take it as a fact of life on Fab, and shrug your shoulders and move on. Good luck! |
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"Point taken but no harm in having common manners though they seem to be very lacking on here"
From the site FAQ's
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There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? "
If someone doesn't match what I'm looking for, or it's clear they haven't read my profile. I delete. If they persist then I block.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, I don't give two hoots whether a stranger on the internet blocks me or not. It just gives me more energy to focus on the ones who do reply and who might get the benefit of meeting me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's fine but they contacted me first but looking at the replays I am getting I would say that everyone has your viewpoint guess I am just too well mannered for this site |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Guess only one person on here believes on old fashioned manners then lol I quit !"
see... if someone doesn't get back, or someone blocks, or someone says no.... then all of those are still a no... and I don't see a difference...
what the block does it that it stops the dialouge... i am sure at some point when a lot of people have said no... they have then had someone coming back saying "why not?"... or get ancy... and agressive...
as the owners say in the FAQ... it is not impolite to say no, and it in all honestly it grates you that much with rejection, then swinging is probably not for you in the first place...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trouble is, you send a polite reply saying not our type & they keep coming back with 'why not your type?' or a new profile! That's not good manners either! So blocking prevents this happening, and works for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trouble is, you send a polite reply saying not our type & they keep coming back with 'why not your type?' or a new profile! That's not good manners either! So blocking prevents this happening, and works for us"
Totally agree  |
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"That's fine but they contacted me first but looking at the replays I am getting I would say that everyone has your viewpoint guess I am just too well mannered for this site"
So they contacted you, asked for s pic.... Got a pic then didnt reply and blocked
If that scenario was to happen to me I would think "they're not interested" and concentrate on chatting / meeting people where there IS mutual interest.
You keep talking about manners.. As stated in the faq's I already posted. Its Not Rude To Not Reply.
Why waste time dwelling on people who aren't interested |
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By *uslaffMan
over a year ago
manchester |
"That's fine but they contacted me first but looking at the replays I am getting I would say that everyone has your viewpoint guess I am just too well mannered for this site"
I feel your pain brother ! Try
www.impolitebutenglishisonlymythirdlanguage/dating.com |
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"
as the owners say in the FAQ... it is not impolite to say no, and it in all honestly it grates you that much with rejection, then swinging is probably not for you in the first place......"
Just because the owners say it doesn't make it correct - everyone as a view on whether it's rude or not and everyones view is valid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's fine but they contacted me first but looking at the replays I am getting I would say that everyone has your viewpoint guess I am just too well mannered for this site"
You would understand it a lot more if you had a lot more messages to contend with like couples and single fems do.
It isnt about manners, just the way it is on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Try not to take it personally,im sure there will be someone out there that thinks you're perfect for them
Some people are happy to say sorry but you're not my type and others lack the grace to say it so will block as they find it easier and less hassle for them
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
as the owners say in the FAQ... it is not impolite to say no, and it in all honestly it grates you that much with rejection, then swinging is probably not for you in the first place......
Just because the owners say it doesn't make it correct - everyone as a view on whether it's rude or not and everyones view is valid"
at what point did I say the view wasn't valid..... 
I stand by what I said... Rejection is a part of swinging, you are not going to be everyones cup of tea...
so you can dust yourself down, and get on with it... or you can let it get to you and start threads like this...
the irony being I can imagine the people who blocked him reading this thread... and thinking they made the right decision because he threw a hissy...... |
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"
as the owners say in the FAQ... it is not impolite to say no, and it in all honestly it grates you that much with rejection, then swinging is probably not for you in the first place......
Just because the owners say it doesn't make it correct - everyone as a view on whether it's rude or not and everyones view is valid
at what point did I say the view wasn't valid.....
I stand by what I said... Rejection is a part of swinging, you are not going to be everyones cup of tea...
so you can dust yourself down, and get on with it... or you can let it get to you and start threads like this...
the irony being I can imagine the people who blocked him reading this thread... and thinking they made the right decision because he threw a hissy......"
Did I say you said no one else's view wasn't valid - no need for angry faces |
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"the OP can also count himself lucky as they were prolly smelly
people with no manners tend to be smelly  "
So because someone used one of the sites functions not only do they not have manners they are now smelly. Mind you at least its different to your usual pops |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol I just think if someone asks for a pic least they can do when you send one is say no thanks but as many on here don't agree I will give up on it as I will never win lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Oh come on...
Wheres the hissy fit?
Someone he has been chatting to asked for a face pic as most people do as the next progesion in getting to know someone or wanting to meet someone,then after he sent it he was blocked,all hes doping is asking why people do that
Ive said it before,no-one comes on here and wants to be made to feel bad about themselves,to just say no thanks you're not my type is polite |
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"the OP can also count himself lucky as they were prolly smelly
people with no manners tend to be smelly
So because someone used one of the sites functions not only do they not have manners they are now smelly. Mind you at least its different to your usual pops"
I think it was meant as a joke |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's because someone was interested enough to make first contact but too busy to reply politely contrary to popular belief some of us can take a no thanks and wish people luck in their search as I have many times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol I just think if someone asks for a pic least they can do when you send one is say no thanks but as many on here don't agree I will give up on it as I will never win lol"
yeah maybe they should, but maybe they didnt want to hurt ur feelings or something or they just dont know what to say.
how long were you chatting? if its a decent bit first getting on well then pic come and they stopped maybe they just got on with you too well and felt awkward and didnt want to have to let you down and face it, sometimes can get akwaward when u get on well over messages, and see the pic and its a deal breaker when u been quite nice to each other
just got to get on with it, its something you never going to be able to change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it with the people on here have they got no manners at all had a pic request so sent a pic next thing I blocked why the hell can't people get manners and just say no thanks not my type ?"
If they had replied and said no you still wouldn't have got a meet so I really fail to see the issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone else said, rejection is part of the process here. If I was upset at rejection or blocks on here, I'd probably be in a straightjacket by now the number I have had. |
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ok, people block straight off because SOME cant take no.
they ask why
then say they can change to suit
some even use the argument 'oh c'mon, i love to fuck sexy milfs' (because thats going to make anyone change their minds)
so, once EVERYONE on here can take a no as it is intended, then people will continue to be blocked without reason.
just take it as a no thank you and move on to those that want to meet you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I blocked a guy yesterday...
A married secretive tv... He mailed me asking for clothes, underwear, pjs , said he could pic up as he was local. Obviously i took it as a wind up and gave a polite no. Then he sent about more pleading with me so i blocked  |
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It seems impolite to me. Take the trouble to chat, take the trouble to ask for a pic then it is right to take the trouble to drop a final message saying 'sorry, you're not our type' before you block.
But hey they might not usually be like that, they were just having a bad/very hectic day.
I always try to reply but sometimes stuff gets in the way and I forget.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blocking isn't a bad think at all,k and do it to those that reply to me saying not our type etc, so then I don't contact them again in accident and waste their time again. I never do it out of pevishness that they have rejected my very polite email.
When blocked without any contact or after sending pics adding as friend etc I take it they are not interested.
Yes it's rude and isn't polite but for me I'm happy as then I'm not meeting "smelly" people
OP It isn't nice to have it done to you, but hey ho it happens, part of being on a swingers site unfortunatly with a lot of time wasters and people not suited to meet you. Take it on the chin and meet better nicer non judgemental and interesting people!! |
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I think the issue really comes down to whether we treat people as individuals on here - which I think is polite and courteous - or not.
I don't think it is rude not to reply as I appreciate that many women and couples will get lots and lots of messages.
Perhaps an option may be to have a button delete and say no thanks.
I agree that pests who repeatedly send unwanted and rude messages should be blocked. I think it is intended as a form of punishment / get lost type of mechanism.
But I do think that unilaterally blocking everyone you can't be bothered replying to - when they have made an effort to contact you - could be considered rude and inappropriate.
Just my view |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
The man was contacted by someone for a pic, he didn't just send a mail.
I personally think a reply of thanks for the pic but you are not for me is a more polite and adult way to do things....people could still block after that if they think they will get more mails.
To the OP....some of us agree with you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if im speaking to someone and ask for a face pic and they arent for me i will be honest and tell them.
a block is a cowards way out but you see all sorts on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some find it easier to block than to explain. To be honest, not giving an explanation invites less trouble, but some will always push for an explanation, and don't always like what they hear.
It does come over as being impolite, but trust me if they've blocked you then they've done you a favour as you won't need to deal with them again.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I sent a "no thanks" to everyone who wasn't my type / I'm not interested in...... I'd have no time for meets."
thats fine to a degree, but if you request a pic then its courtesy to say no thanks if they send one and they are not your type, surely???
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"If I sent a "no thanks" to everyone who wasn't my type / I'm not interested in...... I'd have no time for meets.
thats fine to a degree, but if you request a pic then its courtesy to say no thanks if they send one and they are not your type, surely???
"
No, way too many people just get abusive when you say they're not your type. Then again, this particular scenario I wouldn't be in. If there's no face pic with an initial message, I delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it with the people on here have they got no manners at all had a pic request so sent a pic next thing I blocked why the hell can't people get manners and just say no thanks not my type ?"
Probably because it scared them |
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