FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > " Trusted " friends.
" Trusted " friends.
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By *ugby 123 OP Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
As we all know everyone has a choice of wether they play BB or not and most of us will respect other peoples choices about that.....but the question I wanted to ask as it has been mentioned a few times on various threads.
If you have a "trusted" friend that you or you and your partner play with....how do you know to trust them?
How do you know they are not going to play BB with other people after you ?
Do you both get tested before every meet ?
If so do you all refrain from sex with anyone until the test result is done?
Or is is just a case of believeing the person is telling you the truth and they have not had BB sex with anyone else ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always wanted to ask this too! I'll watch with interest 
I think people think that knowing someone and getting on with them makes them somehow safe... 'oh but he's such a nice guy, he couldn't possibly have herpes' etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x |
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Personally I don't trust anyone with my wellbeing.
I met my oh on a swinging site. He doesn't meet others...so he says...but I don't take his word for it and play accordingly...much to his chagrin on occasion.
I know older sub men struggle to find Dommes that meet their needs, and not all Dommes have penetrative sex, I still wouldn't take the risk. I never use my toys without cleaning them with a specialist cleaner and covering them with a condom...same goes for cocks!  |
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I have swinging friends who I class as trusted friends. However, regardless of how well I know, how long I've know, how much I trust them... Still safe sex every time.
I have friends who I would be "less worried with" if a condom split etc... Due to previous experiences with them and to the best of my knowledge they play ad safe as I do. Obviously if that did happen, I'd still get checked right away, but with certain friends I wouldn't panic / worry so much |
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"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x"
Mind you don't fall off your high horse!
No one is preventing you from your opinion. I don't see any difference with someone with three close friends they trust, there are gang bang groups on here to someone with one person they trust.
You, others may disagree...I'm an adult and will certainly not act like a petulant child should others not share my point of _iew.
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By *ugby 123 OP Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x"
Why are you getting defensive with people asking questions? They are not attacking you when doing that so please don't keep being rude about it.
BUT , I was asking the question of a trusted friend not gangbangs but for me, the risks are the same for both. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
as someone above me said... I dont think you can ever put your wellbeing in the hands of someone else.. so for me i will "bag up" on every occasion.....regardless of how well I know them.....
doesn't mean I don't trust them as such... just means I have a better sense of security..so to speak |
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I dont think you can trust anyone, its up to you as an individual to make your own choices. There is only one person in charge of my sexual health and thats me. But i shall look with interest as the only way i can see that you can 100% trust someone is if you go to the clinic together and neither have sex until the results are back |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x"
well actually... not quite..
if anyone fibs then the chances are going to be exactly the same as the mutliple groups of people you don't know....
after all it only takes one.... regardless of whether it is 1 man, 4 men or 100 men....
welcome russian roulette..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have BB sex with 2 people
The remain the only 2 people I have unprotected penetrative sex with.
One is Mrs Bus who I trust implicitly (and her me)
The other is my male fb of 6 years.
When I say fb, it is a bit more than that as he is pretty much monogamous with me apart from the odd threesome we have had together.
We were tested together within weeks of meeting and have been tested with him regularly ever since.
Never had anything of concern come back other than the Hep jabs didn't take on me until they gave me a double dose (no pun intended).
As for everyone else, if penetration occurs, I insist on protection being used.
The only risk I take is unprotected oral contact and given the choice between protected oral or no contact, I would opt for the no contact.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great thread ruggers.
I have friends I play with on a regular basis but I wouldn't put my body at risk through bb for anyone.
I've been asked to do bb once in a club and was quick to say jog on. Whilst chlymidia and the clap are treatable there are diseases which are not treatable.
To me I see swinging as a lifestyle choice, I want to do it in a safe manner. I wouldn't drive my car without a seatbelt.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"surely out of respect for yourself and the person that your going to sleep with 'safe sex' at all times?? you can buy a comdom you cant buy your health
"
i am wondering if there is some.. I almost want to call it "bulletproof-ness" but I know thats the wrong phrase...
like there is some big bravado in which going thru someones heads is "yes, it happens to other people, but it wont happen to be me because........" and then they justify that difference in their own head.........
but in a why sometimes its the nasty shock of finding something that eventually clears their heads...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only people I trust with my life are family and a couple of life long friends - and I won't be sleeping with any of them!
As for FB's? I've had several over the years and the subject of BB has reared it's head many times. One couple insisted I was the only guy they played with. Did I believe them? No. One girl said she used protection with everyone else and would only consider BB with me. Did I believe her? No. She was young liked to party and as we all know - a couple of drinks too many and anything can happen.
And even if I had believed them - that level of trust is kept for very few people in my life - and definately not for anyone I see on a casual basis! |
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"If you have a "trusted" friend that you or you and your partner play with....how do you know to trust them?"
This is an interesting question, of which the only answer to me is it's up to you.
If I posed the question a different way. You are a couple, married or not isn't relevant, but for the sake of this point lets assume that you have been a couple and actively sexual with each other for a minimum period of say 2 years. How do you trust your other half not to have had sex with someone else, and I don't just mean as a swinger, for this point you could be a vanilla couple.
The reality is, you can't know 100% for sure as no one is with someone 24/7 but over a period of time you build up your belief and trust in that someone and therefore don't doubt that they are telling you the truth.
If your in a swinging relationship and find a special 3rd person/additional couple that you start to play with, you will over time either start to build a trust in them, or you never will. If you do trust them, to a point where you believe what they say, then that would be the time to do BB if you so wish.
However, by the very nature of swinging, most people don't just have a sexual relationship with just one other person/couple and therefore it's unlikely you would reach a stage of doing BB without the knowledge that the person you are doing it with will in all liklihood be doing it BB somewhere else too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As we all know everyone has a choice of wether they play BB or not and most of us will respect other peoples choices about that.....but the question I wanted to ask as it has been mentioned a few times on various threads.
If you have a "trusted" friend that you or you and your partner play with....how do you know to trust them?
How do you know they are not going to play BB with other people after you ?
Do you both get tested before every meet ?
If so do you all refrain from sex with anyone until the test result is done?
Or is is just a case of believeing the person is telling you the truth and they have not had BB sex with anyone else ?"
That is a very good question and one that has puzzled me for some while now, where does that trust come from?
Especially when you only see the person intermittently, no matter how much you think that you trust them, you really don't know what they are up to when you are not together.
No matter how nice and convincing people are, it doesn't mean that this is genuine. Ted Bundy is an, admittedly extreme, example of this.
My motto is 'trust no fucker, especially not myself'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have discussed this and safe sex is a must, if we ever wanted to do bb, it would definitely be the case that we would insist on tests being done first.
And then bb soon after, because they might "catch" something after the testing if they are not careful. |
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Although I don't do BB with people I meet there's always a niggle in the back of my mind when I'm giving oral or receiving even that it is still not 100% safe, you can still catch infections and if you have a cut/sore/bleeding gums there's an increased risk of the thing that scares us all HIV!
Does it play on others minds too? Would you use condoms for oral?
xx |
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"Although I don't do BB with people I meet there's always a niggle in the back of my mind when I'm giving oral or receiving even that it is still not 100% safe, you can still catch infections and if you have a cut/sore/bleeding gums there's an increased risk of the thing that scares us all HIV!
Does it play on others minds too? Would you use condoms for oral?
xx"
No...and no.
No matter how some want to delude themselves, nothing sexual is 100% safe. Knowing that, I take a calculated risk.
If I went down the route of worrying about sucking a cock and using condoms for oral I wouldn't bother at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good thread... Now we play bare at times and do choose to limit it to a regular play meet... But that's just really because we don't want to do that with just anyone.
We still get tested the same... However no matter how trusted we wait for our all clear after a bb session...
We haven't as yet done a bb creampie gangbang but will do at some point. We are of course aware of the risks..
Master only has bb with me.
As to do I worry about oral... Then no I don't... I just do it and make sure I get oral swabs done. To be honest if it played on my mind I'd just not do it...
Cali |
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I know exactly what you mean, it doesn't stop me giving oral or receiving oral and I would never like to suck on a condom instead of a lovely cock, or lick a pussy with a sheet of plastic over it, but it does sometimes play on my mind to the point where I had a mouthfuls of ulcers 2 weeks ago and cancelled a meet (days before) because it played on my mind. Without the ulcers though I just go for it! xx |
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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago
leeds |
Always insist on a condom but so many guys just wither and die at the first sight of one it's becoming ridiculous, this is a sex site for heavens sake so why on earth are guys who can't perform wearing one even on here??
I've lost count of the times I've had to smile sweetly and say thanks but no thanks just at a crucial point!! |
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We play bareback with a few good friends regularly. It's something we didn't intend to do when we started swinging many years ago, but developed and we are happy with the situation. It's our choice and theirs too, probably not logical but very intimate and erotic. We are all from the first generation to use the pill and our early sexual experiences didn't involve condoms so that might be a factor. Others will no doubt say we are all being stupid, but it is a personal choice. It's also pretty wonderful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't trust anyone and wouldn't play bareback with strangers, no matter how trustworthy they appear to be. There is no 'type' that gonhorrea or syphillis go for. People are not dirty if they've caught an infection, it could happen to any one of us.
Its naïve to think that the trusted friends won't have sex with anyone else. People who play with only certain menn, do they seriously think a guy, especially a younger one, full of testosterone is going to be celibate until their playmate decides to call up for a sex session. Personally I find that a ridiculous notion to believe in.
I don't care what others do, we all risk assess to the level we are comfortable with. But the 'it could never happen to me' is a pretty risky belief
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health"
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home?"
Why are you continuously going on about other peoples husbands, its as it this is the only statement you can come up with to justify your opinion.
Meeting up with and trusting a 19 year old teenager is hardly the same as trusting a long term partner that you've been married to for many years and have children, share finaces etc, don't be silly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home?
Why are you continuously going on about other peoples husbands, its as it this is the only statement you can come up with to justify your opinion.
Meeting up with and trusting a 19 year old teenager is hardly the same as trusting a long term partner that you've been married to for many years and have children, share finaces etc, don't be silly "
It's a valid point. I am talking of partners in general so do pls gtf off your high horse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home?"
 I don't but there has to be an element of trust in whatever we do,I weigh my risks up the same as most people do and how I choose to do things is up to me
I show no disrespect for other peoples choices I don't run screaming from people that choose to play BB,I don't throw national statistics regarding the increase of STIs at them
I let others do what they choose do to without question,show me the same repsect or is that too hard for you to do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home?
I don't but there has to be an element of trust in whatever we do,I weigh my risks up the same as most people do and how I choose to do things is up to me
I show no disrespect for other peoples choices I don't run screaming from people that choose to play BB,I don't throw national statistics regarding the increase of STIs at them
I let others do what they choose do to without question,show me the same repsect or is that too hard for you to do?
"
In what way have I been disrespectful to you? I like debate, even vogorous debate, so pls don't take offence, it was never intended. Your point is right, you have to trust some people, and I trust my fb and my fiancee, that's it, based on knowledge of what they do away from me. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"As we all know everyone has a choice of wether they play BB or not and most of us will respect other peoples choices about that.....but the question I wanted to ask as it has been mentioned a few times on various threads.
If you have a "trusted" friend that you or you and your partner play with....how do you know to trust them?
How do you know they are not going to play BB with other people after you ?
Do you both get tested before every meet ?
If so do you all refrain from sex with anyone until the test result is done?
Or is is just a case of believeing the person is telling you the truth and they have not had BB sex with anyone else ?"
Cynical as it maybe, we dont trust anyone, myself and my OH value our sexual health, so never trust anyone else apart from each other, that wont change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have done back back in the past with a guy i met regular, we had this agreement, after we had been meeting a while, that we would always use condoms with others so we didnt have to, turns out he had that agrrement with several other women he met, i felt such a fool for trusting someone i met thro swinging but i was pretty new to all this and had a lot to learn
It dont matter how well you think you know and trust someone you never know what they are doing when not with you, i learned that the hard way, ive been doing this a long time now and much more clued up thankfully |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really say what I would do as im never going to do it anyway,I trust myself,my husband and no-one else when it comes to my sexual health
How do you know your hubby isn't shagging bareback away from home?
Why are you continuously going on about other peoples husbands, its as it this is the only statement you can come up with to justify your opinion.
Meeting up with and trusting a 19 year old teenager is hardly the same as trusting a long term partner that you've been married to for many years and have children, share finaces etc, don't be silly
It's a valid point. I am talking of partners in general so do pls gtf off your high horse."
And now you are copying someone elses words which were originally aimed at you.
Noone is trying to be disrespectful and you are right that it is up to us who we trust and what we do. But I disagree that others who bareback are more at risk than you are because you only choose to do this with one 19 year old.
If you are having fun, all three of you are happy with the situation then its all good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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bare back is bare back dont matter who your doing it with if its with someone who is having sex with others your putting yourself and others at risk and that can include your own partner in some cases
We all know the risk and its upto us as adult if we take them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x"
seriously now
how do you know that one person you know and trust wasnt a part of that MMMF bare back gang bang last week
really how do you know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x
seriously now
how do you know that one person you know and trust wasnt a part of that MMMF bare back gang bang last week
really how do you know?
how does anybody know that who they sleep with is not shagging bare every day they say they are off to work? dont be so bloody stupid"
bingo, by god i think she actually has it
we dont and thats my point so dont say you only play bare with people you trust when we have just established you cant trust anyone really
P,S no need to be rude just cause your loosing your agument love |
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"how does anybody know that who they sleep with is not shagging bare every day they say they are off to work? dont be so bloody stupid
bingo, by god i think she actually has it
we dont and thats my point so dont say you only play bare with people you trust when we have just established you cant trust anyone really
P,S no need to be rude just cause your loosing your agument love "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x
seriously now
how do you know that one person you know and trust wasnt a part of that MMMF bare back gang bang last week
really how do you know?
how does anybody know that who they sleep with is not shagging bare every day they say they are off to work? dont be so bloody stupid
bingo, by god i think she actually has it
we dont and thats my point so dont say you only play bare with people you trust when we have just established you cant trust anyone really
P,S no need to be rude just cause your loosing your agument love "
its a risk and some get off on risks .. for some that there sex high. |
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Looks like quite a few people here are judgemental and/or 'elf n safety' types. Life is full of risks and the amount of risk you are prepared to take is personal, so live and let live. If it's not for you then don't do it, but let the rest of us live our lives as we see fit! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No different from trusting someone not to steel from your house when you invite them in. You either trust or not, you ask direct questions and make your choices on their reaction. |
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By *ugby 123 OP Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I don't see anyone being judgemental,just saying what they thought.
To the few people who do have trusted friends who you play with it sounds like you calculate any risks and decide from there....ie you know there are still risks but are ok with taking that chance.
Let's face it, having sex with multiple partners for anyone is a risk, BB or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"world of difference between bb with someone you know and trust, and MMMF creampie sessions, is there not? even if your trust is misplaced, the simple logic of one man vs. 4 men would mean the risk is lessened. I await the vituperative attacks which seem to befall anybody who angers the forum gods x
seriously now
how do you know that one person you know and trust wasnt a part of that MMMF bare back gang bang last week
really how do you know?
how does anybody know that who they sleep with is not shagging bare every day they say they are off to work? dont be so bloody stupid
bingo, by god i think she actually has it
we dont and thats my point so dont say you only play bare with people you trust when we have just established you cant trust anyone really
P,S no need to be rude just cause your loosing your agument love "
Excellent thread! I've thought of this many times ehen it's come up before.
My opinion is.... I trust no-one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sexual health is my responsibility no-one else's.
I buy my own condoms and make sure they are used.
No one else is capable of looking after me 100% but me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you read this thread you'll wonder how people get pregnant in the first place! Surely you had to have BB'd at some point... It's all bollox and pretence if you ask me  "
This is just a thought, but I'd say that a good many have bareback sex with their own long tewrm partners when they wish to start a family, not with strangers at swinging clubs, though of course that's not totally unheard of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably a terrible thing to say and i'll wait for the backlash but never trust anyone one here! its a swingers site for god sake not a family reunion!
Billy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you read this thread you'll wonder how people get pregnant in the first place! Surely you had to have BB'd at some point... It's all bollox and pretence if you ask me
This is just a thought, but I'd say that a good many have bareback sex with their own long tewrm partners when they wish to start a family, not with strangers at swinging clubs, though of course that's not totally unheard of "
Omg that's how come I have 3 kids dam that husband of mine and the bottles of brandy |
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off at a slight tangent
I am all ways amused at the profiles that announce loudly that they only have safe sex,
but then go on to say the lady loves cream pies 
then you see in photos her pussy covered in cum
well to me cum on the outside or inside the pussy there is no difference |
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"off at a slight tangent
I am all ways amused at the profiles that announce loudly that they only have safe sex,
but then go on to say the lady loves cream pies
then you see in photos her pussy covered in cum
well to me cum on the outside or inside the pussy there is no difference "
Or swallowing darling - that's the same in my books
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good thread ruggers.
I guess i come from a different point of _iew.....I met the OH on here.
We met through a private meet, and used condoms.
Then over a period of a couple of weeks, realised we cared about eachother and wanted to have a proper relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend)
We had a grown up discussion about safesex and having bareback (I was on the pill, so no pregnancy worries).
He talked openly about his sexual past, and that he always practiced safesex. Also that he had been tested at the GU clinic in the last couple of months.
At that point, I had to trust him, and him me. I did go and get a check up myself out of respect for him.
But my point is....I had to trust what he was telling me.
Yes i could have waited until we had both been tested.
So I took a calculated risk.
We only use condoms now with meets...again i have to trust that my OH isnt meeting behind my back
(although we do live together, so good luck with finding time for that!!) |
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Oh, and to answer the question. We don't trust anyone else to BB with.
Having said that, there was one couple, once, a long time ago. We'd known them for about 5 years and became very close over that time (particularly her hubby & I)
The 2 of us were involved in quite heavy mindfucks (BDSM wise) and as such,I trusted him implicitly (with my life in some situations). We never did BB but the conversation came up once. Would I have trusted him? Probably yes, but only with the discussion of all 4 of us. That kind of trust is rare. I've only ever had it with hubby before and since then. |
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