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Arrogant couples
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People don’t like rejection. However it’s how you reject them. You call them “divs” in your post, if you called me that for trying to talk to you in a club then I’d happily walk away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldnt say you’re arrogant if you’re just being polite and honest. I would always prefer honesty. People get butthurt so easily when told no thanks.
Pushy couples on the other hand though... wow. I have come across a fair few on here. Some lovely, lovely ones though, too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'll always get opinionated people. Ice found that the best way to deal with them is to smile.
I had someone tell me I'm fat and no-one would want me. My reply was something like
"Thank you so much for pointing out my size to me!!!!!. I thought I was skinny. I need therapy. Have you got the number of a good therapist? I'll also have to let the people on my photos know that they're wrong about my size too. They're going to be so disappointed". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We had a couple at silverlieghs a while back.wouldnt take no for an answer and had to be told in no uncertain terms. Only time though. We also go to an event with working girls there.no prob with that but it's a different type of single guy that frequent them and you don't always get the manners expected at a swingers club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? "
I wouldn’t say that your pictures are in any way incredible - I think they’re the same standard as everyone’s on here so it’s good that you are happy to show off your bodies and be confident.
I say it’s good that you have standards. |
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People judge on looks. On fab negative judgements are made towards anyone who has the audacity to have good self esteem and body confidence.
I would take issue with how you refer to some people though, maybe that's where some of the criticism came from? |
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By *al-TeaserCouple
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"People judge on looks. On fab negative judgements are made towards anyone who has the audacity to have good self esteem and body confidence.
I would take issue with how you refer to some people though, maybe that's where some of the criticism came from?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Divs? There’s a thine line between confidence and arrogance.
Unwelcome words can hurt as you have already discovered."
Don’t forget “chancers”
How dare anyone approach anyone on here or in a club |
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When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable  |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable "
Maybe he genuinely thought that and was boosting his wife up. |
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Your post comes across as a bit arrogant too: 'We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.'
So what are these standards if you don't mind any shape or size?
Then you say you go to clubs with working girls even though you don't like the vibe. You are going to be approached by men, maybe you enjoy telling them off and saying that divs have no chance?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People don’t like rejection. However it’s how you reject them. You call them “divs” in your post, if you called me that for trying to talk to you in a club then I’d happily walk away.
"
I've experienced rude arrogant people like this. Berated for having the audacity to even look at them when they are clearly in a different league.
I've also experienced very hot/ classically attractive people being very nice and friendly to everyone. Making the person feel like a million dollars even when saying no thank you.  |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable "
We’ve seen a couple state that when they were in the club people were following them like the Pied Piper. We were there and nobody followed them, they just didn’t have a good night. Some have very high opinions of themselves, also some don’t have a high enough opinion of themselves. You can generally see in the body language. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? "
People don't like rejection, however if they don't like rejection then they shouldn't ask anyway.
We have met some right pricks in clubs, and their petty comments are insignificant to us.
Take it easy. |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable
Maybe he genuinely thought that and was boosting his wife up. "
Maybe he did, but still no excuse to be so openly rude to others around, |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? "
I'm not trying to pick a fight, I really am not but the comments about divs, chancers and standards with regards to other peoples body shapes does come across (to me anyway) a bit arrogant. We all have standards, overweight people clearly are below your standards as your body shapes maybe to some athletic people but does it really need to be said. |
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"People don’t like rejection. However it’s how you reject them. You call them “divs” in your post, if you called me that for trying to talk to you in a club then I’d happily walk away.
I've experienced rude arrogant people like this. Berated for having the audacity to even look at them when they are clearly in a different league.
I've also experienced very hot/ classically attractive people being very nice and friendly to everyone. Making the person feel like a million dollars even when saying no thank you. "
That's me isn't it Mrs O. When you rejected me after meeting in the back alley of the boozer    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it?
I'm not trying to pick a fight, I really am not but the comments about divs, chancers and standards with regards to other peoples body shapes does come across (to me anyway) a bit arrogant. We all have standards, overweight people clearly are below your standards as your body shapes maybe to some athletic people but does it really need to be said."
Agree 100% with this. |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable
We’ve seen a couple state that when they were in the club people were following them like the Pied Piper. We were there and nobody followed them, they just didn’t have a good night. Some have very high opinions of themselves, also some don’t have a high enough opinion of themselves. You can generally see in the body language."
Yes we have seen similar to this, a couple sat ignoring everyone who tryed to chat to them, then put on the club review that everyone was klicky and unfriendly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People don’t like rejection. However it’s how you reject them. You call them “divs” in your post, if you called me that for trying to talk to you in a club then I’d happily walk away.
I've experienced rude arrogant people like this. Berated for having the audacity to even look at them when they are clearly in a different league.
I've also experienced very hot/ classically attractive people being very nice and friendly to everyone. Making the person feel like a million dollars even when saying no thank you.
That's me isn't it Mrs O. When you rejected me after meeting in the back alley of the boozer "
I rejected you for your own safety. It was dark in the alley. I didn't want you to have the full on horror of seeing me in the street light behind the bins.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be a bit awkward saying no sometimes. We had one couple keep asking us what we were afraid of when we politely declined their offer to join them in a playroom. It became quite embarrassing and in the end we had to move to a different part of the club to get away from them. Some people just have a hard time with rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? "
We have not visited clubs together although jenny did with an ex socially. But personally id rather a polite no thank you. Although if and even when we do decide to go we would not be looking to play with anyone for first couple of times we went there. But more to be social and make friends for future plays there. Id expect also to avoid single guys who at this moment we would not wish to play with we would go on cpls nights only for now. But a poilite no thank you would be our reply and would expect the same in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be a bit awkward saying no sometimes. We had one couple keep asking us what we were afraid of when we politely declined their offer to join them in a playroom. It became quite embarrassing and in the end we had to move to a different part of the club to get away from them. Some people just have a hard time with rejection."
Believe me we have had the cpls who would not take no for an answer on here. Expect as you stated it is Simular in clubs also but harder to get away from them i bet unless you leave the club. Can you report them to the club management for harrasment in cases like that? As what i read about clubs on here the management take harrasment seriously? |
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"People don’t like rejection. However it’s how you reject them. You call them “divs” in your post, if you called me that for trying to talk to you in a club then I’d happily walk away.
I've experienced rude arrogant people like this. Berated for having the audacity to even look at them when they are clearly in a different league.
I've also experienced very hot/ classically attractive people being very nice and friendly to everyone. Making the person feel like a million dollars even when saying no thank you.
That's me isn't it Mrs O. When you rejected me after meeting in the back alley of the boozer
I rejected you for your own safety. It was dark in the alley. I didn't want you to have the full on horror of seeing me in the street light behind the bins. "
They all say that (crying) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree with this. It does come across a little arrogant, and fair enough if they have preferences on body types - but neither of them are what i'd call 'Athletic' anyway, so i think looking down on curvier people might be a bit rich. |
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"We were told we were arrogant and up ourselves once at a club and it hurt quite a bit.yes we are both in good shape and proud of our bodies.we are confident and chatty but we don't suffer divs and tell the chancers I'm no uncertain terms no. We have no problem with people of any shape or size but we do have standards.Anyone else experienced it? "
I haven't experienced your arrogance directed personally as you dont seem to be a couple I'd be attracted to in order to act like div and take a chance
Your op suggests arrogance above confidence 
If you feel and some do not hit your requirements and you are confident then I'd recommend humility not disdain?  |
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I agree with some of the other responses, perhaps it’s the way in which you phrase yourselves that makes others view you as arrogant.
Maybe you come across better in real life but I don’t think this post has shown you in the best light.
Lou x (a fat girl with standards too)
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Never been told it in a club but a couple private messaged us the other week after we replied jokingly to a forum post telling us we were cocky and highlighting parts of our profile they seemed to have a problem with.
Don’t obviously know what went on with your club experience but perhaps if you called them Divs it wouldn’t go down to well lol  |
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"It can be a bit awkward saying no sometimes. We had one couple keep asking us what we were afraid of when we politely declined their offer to join them in a playroom. It became quite embarrassing and in the end we had to move to a different part of the club to get away from them. Some people just have a hard time with rejection.
Believe me we have had the cpls who would not take no for an answer on here. Expect as you stated it is Simular in clubs also but harder to get away from them i bet unless you leave the club. Can you report them to the club management for harrasment in cases like that? As what i read about clubs on here the management take harrasment seriously? "
Yep, in my experience couples are often worse than singles with being pushy because they're used to calling the shots. It can be pretty uncomfortable when there's two of them who won't leave it. |
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"I agree with some of the other responses, perhaps it’s the way in which you phrase yourselves that makes others view you as arrogant.
Maybe you come across better in real life but I don’t think this post has shown you in the best light.
Lou x (a fat girl with standards too)
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What she said! |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
"It can be a bit awkward saying no sometimes. We had one couple keep asking us what we were afraid of when we politely declined their offer to join them in a playroom. It became quite embarrassing and in the end we had to move to a different part of the club to get away from them. Some people just have a hard time with rejection.
Believe me we have had the cpls who would not take no for an answer on here. Expect as you stated it is Simular in clubs also but harder to get away from them i bet unless you leave the club. Can you report them to the club management for harrasment in cases like that? As what i read about clubs on here the management take harrasment seriously?
Yep, in my experience couples are often worse than singles with being pushy because they're used to calling the shots. It can be pretty uncomfortable when there's two of them who won't leave it. "
Really? That’s interesting. We would never be pushy with anyone and all the couples we have met are very respectful and would say more bashful than singles, tends to take longer to get things moving with a couple, the chats usually a lot longer, we find singles are far more full on push for sex more than getting to know us |
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“Standards” and “in shape” are all relative to the person your speaking too.
If someone says “in shape” to me I expect abs and visible muscles.
I’m young and confident I’ve been told I’m arrogant in a club once before... I probably did absolutely come across like that so I’ve made a conscious effort not too.
It’s not about standards though and body shapes though
Find out why they called you arrogant and see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve been told we’re up our own backsides from other couples on numerous occasions either via this site & once in a club . Totally surprised us as we really are a laid back & sociable couple . Just a matter of ignoring negative comments, maybe their insecurities |
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"It can be a bit awkward saying no sometimes. We had one couple keep asking us what we were afraid of when we politely declined their offer to join them in a playroom. It became quite embarrassing and in the end we had to move to a different part of the club to get away from them. Some people just have a hard time with rejection.
Believe me we have had the cpls who would not take no for an answer on here. Expect as you stated it is Simular in clubs also but harder to get away from them i bet unless you leave the club. Can you report them to the club management for harrasment in cases like that? As what i read about clubs on here the management take harrasment seriously?
Yep, in my experience couples are often worse than singles with being pushy because they're used to calling the shots. It can be pretty uncomfortable when there's two of them who won't leave it.
Really? That’s interesting. We would never be pushy with anyone and all the couples we have met are very respectful and would say more bashful than singles, tends to take longer to get things moving with a couple, the chats usually a lot longer, we find singles are far more full on push for sex more than getting to know us "
Don't get me wrong, 99% of people are great but my most awkward experiences with people being pushy have usually been with older (than me) couples. |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable "
Seen a few couples like that in clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest your profile comes across as arrogant to us. Describing yourselves as "extremely handsome" and "gorgeous" goes a bit beyond self confidence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
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If I had a pound for everyone who told me I was stuck up....
I don't understand how people who admire the curvier lady or are lovers of a dad bod are generally seen as good people, people who stated preference for a more athletic look are usually classed as shallow and up themselves.
If fab has told me anything it is that there is someone for everyone, as long as you're polite in declining someones advances there's no need for negativity x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I had a pound for everyone who told me I was stuck up....
I don't understand how people who admire the curvier lady or are lovers of a dad bod are generally seen as good people, people who stated preference for a more athletic look are usually classed as shallow and up themselves.
If fab has told me anything it is that there is someone for everyone, as long as you're polite in declining someones advances there's no need for negativity x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve come across some very pushy single women in clubs, I assume they are used to being “in demand” and often seem to react with astonishment when you politely decline! The rather vapid “strutting peacock” look isn’t especially attractive!
For me if I don’t fancy someone I don’t fancy them, and that is much more linked to their attitude than their shape or size!
J (owner of both a size and a shape, and also a personality!) |
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"Believe me we have had the cpls who would not take no for an answer on here. Expect as you stated it is Simular in clubs also but harder to get away from them i bet unless you leave the club. Can you report them to the club management for harrasment in cases like that? As what i read about clubs on here the management take harrasment seriously? "
Yes, you can. Harrassment, irrespective of what sex or status the instigators are, is harrassment, and totally unacceptable. All reputable club owners will take any such reports seriously, and deal with the matter. |
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I have likely been lucky, but I have never met any Swingers face-to-face who I would describe as arrogant or up-themselves, nor has anyone accused me of it either.
With that said, I'm sure there are many people like that, just as there are in real life.
The most you can do is politely decline unwanted advances. If their reaction is bad, then they are probably the one's who are arrogant, as they clearly can't accept a no. I would not take it to heart, as long as you behaved well.
With that said, I have no issue with 'chancers' and don't really understand the condemnation of them.
I often wish I could be more of a chancer, instead of waiting for clear signals before introduce myself. A chancer is simply someone who is at least willing to ask if there's a spark. What's wrong with that?
There may be some who believe that a chancer is someone who foolishly approaches someone out-of-their-league and deserves a swift ridicule for their impertinence. I've seen this in normal clubs all the time, but never in Swinging (again: perhaps I've been lucky).
In my opinion: the problem only arises if they get rude, entitled, aggressive or simply won't take no for an answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confidence often is mistaken by some as arrogance.
You clearly aren’t arrogant as you’ve raised a concern around it.
Be confident and enjoy your time. Haters gunna hate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We did have a good chat.we even performed a little private show for them which I as told made their weekend. So once the misconceptions were overcome we had a nice time |
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"When in a club one time, there was a couple walking around and he was saying " no one in here is as hot as you" too his wife. By the end of the night no one was even looking in there direction and they just sat in the corner looking miserable "
My husband says that to me but it isn’t meant nasty at all! We are a very friendly couple and have had loads of fun at clubs x |
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