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Dear Uncle Mr, I've lost my mojo. I've checked down the back of the sofa, under my pillow and even in the fridge. I found my housekeys and a fluffy werthers original but no mojo.
Is there a mojo factory that you're aware of? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Uncle Mr, I've lost my mojo. I've checked down the back of the sofa, under my pillow and even in the fridge. I found my housekeys and a fluffy werthers original but no mojo.
Is there a mojo factory that you're aware of? "
Stress is the biggest killer of sex drive especially in women. Get plenty of rest, eat well, exercise and take time for yourself. Also the right man. You are a beautiful woman get the man to take time. I’m sure it will come back  |
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"I’ve so many issues I wouldn’t dare start 
Try?
I don’t want to clog up the servers. X"
Fold your arms across your chest.
Now squeeze your arms/shoulders depending on where your hands reach to.
Tell me when you've done it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?
Oooo ooooo oooooo I know this one!"
I'm concerned about possible bowel issues
Dont want to deny the muppet baby i live with, his quality toilet time
His arse takes a right battering at Christmas |
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"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?
Oooo ooooo oooooo I know this one!
I'm concerned about possible bowel issues
Dont want to deny the muppet baby i live with, his quality toilet time
His arse takes a right battering at Christmas"
You're well aware I have an evil streak right?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also, my toes resemble that of Sam Gangees, and I want pretty lady feet. What do you recommended? "
Stay away from Prince Andrew. Learn to love what you have. Never compare does that help? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?"
I would recommend a balance diet |
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"Also, my toes resemble that of Sam Gangees, and I want pretty lady feet. What do you recommended?
Stay away from Prince Andrew. Learn to love what you have. Never compare does that help?"
I was kinda hoping you were gonna suggest a foot swap with a pretty footed person.
I'll keep my hobbit trotters. I do secretly love them, even the spider plants erupting from my toe knuckles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?
Oooo ooooo oooooo I know this one!
I'm concerned about possible bowel issues
Dont want to deny the muppet baby i live with, his quality toilet time
His arse takes a right battering at Christmas
You're well aware I have an evil streak right? "
Thats why i like you
Evil works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?
I would recommend a balance diet "
Not Baileys on my Weetabix then?
Shit
I best rethink my christmas menu |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also, my toes resemble that of Sam Gangees, and I want pretty lady feet. What do you recommended?
Stay away from Prince Andrew. Learn to love what you have. Never compare does that help?
I was kinda hoping you were gonna suggest a foot swap with a pretty footed person.
I'll keep my hobbit trotters. I do secretly love them, even the spider plants erupting from my toe knuckles."
I’m sure they are lovely it’s learning to see the beauty yourself that’s is the challenge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr orgasmic
Is it ok to just eat ice cream over the festive period?
I mean no one really needs vegetables, right?
I would recommend a balance diet
Not Baileys on my Weetabix then?
Shit
I best rethink my christmas menu"
Maybe just on Christmas Day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve so many issues I wouldn’t dare start
Try?
I don’t want to clog up the servers. X
Fold your arms across your chest.
Now squeeze your arms/shoulders depending on where your hands reach to.
Tell me when you've done it "
Tis done. Cheers  |
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"I’ve so many issues I wouldn’t dare start
Try?
I don’t want to clog up the servers. X
Fold your arms across your chest.
Now squeeze your arms/shoulders depending on where your hands reach to.
Tell me when you've done it
Tis done. Cheers "
Good, that was me giving you a hug, via you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve so many issues I wouldn’t dare start
Try?
I don’t want to clog up the servers. X
Fold your arms across your chest.
Now squeeze your arms/shoulders depending on where your hands reach to.
Tell me when you've done it
Tis done. Cheers
Good, that was me giving you a hug, via you "
I figured. Thanks princess xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x "
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you? "
Just off over the fence now with my phone so you can ass asses rahhhhhhh assess the situation x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you?
Just off over the fence now with my phone so you can ass asses rahhhhhhh assess the situation x "
Cheers.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you?
Just off over the fence now with my phone so you can ass asses rahhhhhhh assess the situation x
Cheers. "
I've just fallen in the pond and I think they saw me as they threw something rubber out the window that hit me on the top lip  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you?
Just off over the fence now with my phone so you can ass asses rahhhhhhh assess the situation x
Cheers.
I've just fallen in the pond and I think they saw me as they threw something rubber out the window that hit me on the top lip x "
Did it stick?  |
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Dear Uncle Orgasmic
I will be 40 next year and me and the wife have planned that I will have the snip.
We definitely don't want anymore children and the doctor has recommended she should come off birth contol pills for health reasons.
The problem is I absolutely love seeing her pussy dripping with another mans cum.
Having a coil fitted isn't an option as she's rather fond of having my big fat fist in her beautiful pussy.
What should we do??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x "
Does this matter concern you? If not then I would turn a blind eye. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Uncle Orgasmic
I will be 40 next year and me and the wife have planned that I will have the snip.
We definitely don't want anymore children and the doctor has recommended she should come off birth contol pills for health reasons.
I think that the choice is obvious. Maybe he could ejaculate over her bum instead?
The problem is I absolutely love seeing her pussy dripping with another mans cum.
Having a coil fitted isn't an option as she's rather fond of having my big fat fist in her beautiful pussy.
What should we do???"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note? "
Depends how much you love Turkey? |
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"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?"
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism. "
I’m pescatarian but I’d bought a turkey crown for the meat eaters I was going to be cooking for.... now I’m spending Christmas alone as my guests are all in tier 4.
Would you like me to post it to you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism. "
I would let the butcher keep it. This Christmas is going to be a write off. |
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By *an.thisMan
over a year ago
Torbay & Bournemouth |
"Dear Mr Ogastric
I have a dilemma.
I think my neighbor has a illegal gym in his shed.
The old man next door has suddenly gone incognito and grown a moustache.At night when his wife has watched country file she falls to sleep.
He then changes into lycra and tip toes down his garden into his shed.Minutes later a car pulls up outside and a men that can't afford a needle and cotton as the back of his trousers are ripped open also tip toes into the shed.
I can see them in there from the waiste up and they are clearly doing some type of physical exercise as they are thrusting back and forth and shouting that's it pound it.
They then leave the shed all sweaty and are clearly using moisturizer after there workout as there faces are usually covered with thick white glupy cream.
Should I tell his wife he has a illegal gym
Or
Just leave them to do there exercises in peace x
Can you film it and I’ll assess the situation for you?
Just off over the fence now with my phone so you can ass asses rahhhhhhh assess the situation x
Cheers.
I've just fallen in the pond and I think they saw me as they threw something rubber out the window that hit me on the top lip x "
No you have all got it wrong !! The guy in the leather chapps isn't his gym buddy !! They are both two of the original six members of the 1970s pop band ‘The Village People’ & what they are doing is working on a new dance routine for their CUM BACK TOUR for after the Bloody Tear 4!lockdown that Borris has just put us in. I like what i did there Cum Back oh i make myself chuckle at time. So you meed to keep a look out for the others!! The builder, soldier, indian chief cowboy and the cop x
C |
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"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism.
I’m pescatarian but I’d bought a turkey crown for the meat eaters I was going to be cooking for.... now I’m spending Christmas alone as my guests are all in tier 4.
Would you like me to post it to you? "
That's very generous of you. If you pop it in a jiffy bag and put it in the post tomorrow it should be here by Thursday. |
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"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism.
I’m pescatarian but I’d bought a turkey crown for the meat eaters I was going to be cooking for.... now I’m spending Christmas alone as my guests are all in tier 4.
Would you like me to post it to you? "
Sorry your Christmas has been changed so. |
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".
The problem is I absolutely love seeing her pussy dripping with another mans cum.
Having a coil fitted isn't an option as she's rather fond of having my big fat fist in her beautiful pussy.
What should we do???
I think that the choice is obvious. Maybe he could ejaculate over her bum instead?
"
Its just not the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We're in tier 4, our turkey crown is in tier 2. How can I collect it?
I think that would be essential travel would it not?
Will you write me a note?
Depends how much you love Turkey?
To be honest I'd be just as happy with chicken but I've given the butcher a large deposit. That is not some sort of hideous euphemism.
I’m pescatarian but I’d bought a turkey crown for the meat eaters I was going to be cooking for.... now I’m spending Christmas alone as my guests are all in tier 4.
Would you like me to post it to you?
Sorry your Christmas has been changed so. "
One Christmas alone to increase my chances of spending lots more with the people I love..... I’ll put up with it. Thank you xx |
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. We're laughing about it but we won't be on Christmas day 