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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Much as we like to kid ourselves that personality comes first
This site really flies in the face of this.
Guys see a good pic and message
Ladies see a bad pic and ignore/block
Convince me otherwise |
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Of course, on a website like fab looks are going to be part of the decision process.
In real life, swinging can be pretty unconcerned with looks. If you're in a dimly lit area at a club, you don't always clearly see who you're playing with. Or at a gloryhole, where looks are not involved at all. |
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I like parties and clubs where i can meet people face to face and engage in chat. I have a very good fab friend who i actually had turned down via message but got to know him far better when we met at a party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much as we like to kid ourselves that personality comes first
This site really flies in the face of this.
Guys see a good pic and message
Ladies see a bad pic and ignore/block
Convince me otherwise "
Reckon you've nailed it  |
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Yes, if someone sends a face pic and I don’t fancy them, I don’t reply. However, I have many times had messages from very attractive men, but because I didn’t like their message and/or their profile, I didn’t reply to them either. |
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"Much as we like to kid ourselves that personality comes first
This site really flies in the face of this.
Guys see a good pic and message
Ladies see a bad pic and ignore/block
Convince me otherwise "
So flip it on it’s head. If a guy saw a bad pic would he message in the first place? Maybe the answer is to take some good pics and have a nice personality.
Personality is very important to us, if we’re not attracted to someone we’re not going to have sex with them but we might still enjoy chatting with them. If they’re attractive but have zero personality then we won’t want to chat with them or meet them. So yeah, personality is important but so is mutual attraction.
Lou x |
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Looks and personality come equally first for us. People's profile and pics generally tell us a lot about them, so we look for good pics and good write up. Touch wood( ) we've only had successful meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on what the message might say if it’s the “meet now” instant block, if they’re profile is not what we’re looking for probably ignore depending on what the message said, looks arnt at the top of the list for us x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't think I've ever once contacted someone based on a pic.
You can have amazing pics but a shitty attitude in your bio.
I always look for consistency between pics and text. "
This!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It used to make me laugh when people stated that they were sapiosexual and were dating on Tinder. The least sapiosexually oriented dating site there is.
I’d love to know how many people state they’re sapiosexual, on any platform, truly are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think attraction is always going to be the key,because you won't get to know the personality of a person on here until you get to know them,and the only way to get the first initial attention is by face pics...that's the starter.
Most of the time I send face pics with a message,but the times I haven't,and sent a detailed polite message,straight away I'm asked if I have a face pic,so there it is.
Let's not kid ourselves lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll happily admit I've no interest in fucking someone I'm not physically attracted to. However I wont fuck someone just because I'm physically attracted to them. There's a difference |
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However, I wouldn't meet a guy purely on looks. Alot of men on here may have good bodies, but most don't have the face or personality to match so I don't even respond to most of the attractive or unattractive men either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eloquence is a big factor in me choosing whether to say hi. I get very attracted to creatives and wordsmiths and some profiles of people like this are a joy to read. |
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"Much as we like to kid ourselves that personality comes first
This site really flies in the face of this.
Guys see a good pic and message
Ladies see a bad pic and ignore/block
Convince me otherwise "
Thank you.
I questioned a condescending remark few weeks ago about people who said that.
I really want to see them getting physically intimate with someone with great personality but repulse them physically (eg body odour, hygiene, teeth etc which are not to their likings).
My stand has always been:
- The physical appearance may be the main factor for first meet.
- After that, personality and connection/chemistry will determine repeat meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speak for yourself, looks are a part of it granted but for us personality goes a hell of a long way. Call us old fashioned but anyone who wants to get it on with us won’t get anywhere if they are ill mannered or think they’re gods gift. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much as we like to kid ourselves that personality comes first
This site really flies in the face of this.
Guys see a good pic and message
Ladies see a bad pic and ignore/block
Convince me otherwise
Thank you.
I questioned a condescending remark few weeks ago about people who said that.
I really want to see them getting physically intimate with someone with great personality but repulse them physically (eg body odour, hygiene, teeth etc which are not to their likings).
My stand has always been:
- The physical appearance may be the main factor for first meet.
- After that, personality and connection/chemistry will determine repeat meets."
Fair point but we’re yet to meet someone with a good personality that has the traits you mention. We find someone with a good personality usually looks after themselves so don’t know where you hang out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think attraction is always going to be the key,because you won't get to know the personality of a person on here until you get to know them,and the only way to get the first initial attention is by face pics...that's the starter.
Most of the time I send face pics with a message,but the times I haven't,and sent a detailed polite message,straight away I'm asked if I have a face pic,so there it is.
You only get the true personality when you meet in person but a decent Introductory message and well thought out profile will give a general feel of whether they’re the right person you’d want to meet.
We get loads of messages from guys that look great but the message leaves a lot to be desired. We’re lucky to get a sentence. To give the benefit of the doubt we check the profile only to see there is minimal content so what do we do we just hit the delete button.
Let's not kid ourselves lol.
"
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"
Fair point but we’re yet to meet someone with a good personality that has the traits you mention. We find someone with a good personality usually looks after themselves so don’t know where you hang out "
True.
However physical appearance is objective. Very difficult to be faked, unlike personality. It can be an act.
That's why I state for first meet, my decision will be made based on physical appearance _ pictures or cams. Once I've made the first meet, then only I can evaluate whether the pesonality is compatible with mine or not.
(disclaimer : I'm not going to say bad or good personality or good or bad physicals appearance. It's all about compatibility with one's taste/desire). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fair point but we’re yet to meet someone with a good personality that has the traits you mention. We find someone with a good personality usually looks after themselves so don’t know where you hang out
True.
However physical appearance is objective. Very difficult to be faked, unlike personality. It can be an act.
That's why I state for first meet, my decision will be made based on physical appearance _ pictures or cams. Once I've made the first meet, then only I can evaluate whether the pesonality is compatible with mine or not.
(disclaimer : I'm not going to say bad or good personality or good or bad physicals appearance. It's all about compatibility with one's taste/desire)."
Absolutely this but all too often we get a few pics of good looking guys but nothing constructive in the actual messaging so that doesn’t really give us anything to go on. We personally look for a balance overall before messaging back. |
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"I like parties and clubs where i can meet people face to face and engage in chat. I have a very good fab friend who i actually had turned down via message but got to know him far better when we met at a party."
Was that because you didn't like the look of him. |
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Looks work as the primer on here but the right personality ignites interest or pours freezing cold water onto any embers.
Why would someone not show themselves at a reasonable level here? Black silhouette profiles are almost never going to get messaged first and will likely get excluded from many peoples searches, who want to find what they like. |
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