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By *edrickWoman
over a year ago
nottingham |
It can be anything on neutral ground for me whether that a coffee, cocktail, meal, a walk anything to get to know the person.
My most unusual social was a go ape experience, we laughed so hard and it really built up the trust for what came later!  |
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"Just that, a social. No play, conversation only.
Yes but is it coffee? Something stronger? A night out? "
For me, daytime, somewhere very public. Coffee or soft drink. I wouldn’t go for a night out, or drink alcohol, with a stranger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just that, a social. No play, conversation only.
Yes but is it coffee? Something stronger? A night out?
For me, daytime, somewhere very public. Coffee or soft drink. I wouldn’t go for a night out, or drink alcohol, with a stranger."
^ this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd be happy to travel to a local pub/cafe only. (Unless he was very special!)
"
Maybe I've got it wrong??? I would travel a good distance for the first social meet,I would stay in a hotel and make a short break of it,if the social didn't work out at least ive had a nice day out |
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"I'd be happy to travel to a local pub/cafe only. (Unless he was very special!)
Maybe I've got it wrong??? I would travel a good distance for the first social meet,I would stay in a hotel and make a short break of it,if the social didn't work out at least ive had a nice day out"
No, not at all! Lots of people travel.
I would just prefer something more local and regular.
And I have traveled in the past.  |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you? "
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home). |
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"I'd be happy to travel to a local pub/cafe only. (Unless he was very special!)
Maybe I've got it wrong??? I would travel a good distance for the first social meet,I would stay in a hotel and make a short break of it,if the social didn't work out at least ive had a nice day out"
Tbh, if a man told me he was getting a hotel for a social, I’d assume he expected to play afterwards, and I’d call it off. But then, I don’t even talk to people who are far enough away to need a hotel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home)."
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in"
Very sensible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible."
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange? |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?"
I wouldn’t agree to it. I’d be unlikely to even chat tbh. I’m not into one-offs, so the only way I’d talk to someone that far away would be if they’re here a lot for another reason, such as work. That way I wouldn’t be the main reason for them to travel, so I wouldn’t feel there was any pressure to like them; and I’d be able to have a social on one visit and play on a different one, because I never play the same day as the social. I’d also know that they’d be around again in future for further meets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
I wouldn’t agree to it. I’d be unlikely to even chat tbh. I’m not into one-offs, so the only way I’d talk to someone that far away would be if they’re here a lot for another reason, such as work. That way I wouldn’t be the main reason for them to travel, so I wouldn’t feel there was any pressure to like them; and I’d be able to have a social on one visit and play on a different one, because I never play the same day as the social. I’d also know that they’d be around again in future for further meets."
Sorry I meant that we had chatted for awhile and there was something there...I wasn't directly asking you to meet lol |
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By *alerieCouple
over a year ago
Close by |
I no longer travel any further than 20 minutes for socials, but I used to .
And I'm happy with any scenarios, coffee, a Drink, lunch or dinner. On occasion the social has turned into a play date so it's handy to be close to home 
I always drive so no alcohol involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi fabbers...whats everyone's definition of a social meet? For the first one?
"
My first meets are always social. Having been on fab many years its always best i think to not put either person under an expectation to play. Ive had loads of socials from coffees in social places and peoples homes to cocktails on a night out and dinner.
Hope that helps! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The socials I’ve been involved in have been anything from a walk in the park, meet for a coffee, or even a full night out. Socials have involved a cheeky snog or suchlike.
Then there are the socials that didn’t end up being just socials! |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
I wouldn’t agree to it. I’d be unlikely to even chat tbh. I’m not into one-offs, so the only way I’d talk to someone that far away would be if they’re here a lot for another reason, such as work. That way I wouldn’t be the main reason for them to travel, so I wouldn’t feel there was any pressure to like them; and I’d be able to have a social on one visit and play on a different one, because I never play the same day as the social. I’d also know that they’d be around again in future for further meets.
Sorry I meant that we had chatted for awhile and there was something there...I wasn't directly asking you to meet lol"
I know that, and I was answering truthfully for anyone, not just you. I don’t chat with people so far away, so the situation you described wouldn’t happen with anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
I wouldn’t agree to it. I’d be unlikely to even chat tbh. I’m not into one-offs, so the only way I’d talk to someone that far away would be if they’re here a lot for another reason, such as work. That way I wouldn’t be the main reason for them to travel, so I wouldn’t feel there was any pressure to like them; and I’d be able to have a social on one visit and play on a different one, because I never play the same day as the social. I’d also know that they’d be around again in future for further meets.
Sorry I meant that we had chatted for awhile and there was something there...I wasn't directly asking you to meet lol
I know that, and I was answering truthfully for anyone, not just you. I don’t chat with people so far away, so the situation you described wouldn’t happen with anyone."
Lol pick the wrong person to explain it to......lol |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
I wouldn’t agree to it. I’d be unlikely to even chat tbh. I’m not into one-offs, so the only way I’d talk to someone that far away would be if they’re here a lot for another reason, such as work. That way I wouldn’t be the main reason for them to travel, so I wouldn’t feel there was any pressure to like them; and I’d be able to have a social on one visit and play on a different one, because I never play the same day as the social. I’d also know that they’d be around again in future for further meets.
Sorry I meant that we had chatted for awhile and there was something there...I wasn't directly asking you to meet lol
I know that, and I was answering truthfully for anyone, not just you. I don’t chat with people so far away, so the situation you described wouldn’t happen with anyone.
Lol pick the wrong person to explain it to......lol"
I was under the impression that you asked me a question. Was I not supposed to answer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?"
That would sound ok to me, however if I knew you had booked a hotel I would be put off. |
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
That would sound ok to me, however if I knew you had booked a hotel I would be put off."
Agreed. That reads like "just a social (unless I can twist your arm)". No thank you. |
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My socials vary depending on how long I've been chatting to someone, the level of trust that's there, the level of rapport that's been built.
Generally if it's someone I've not been chatting to long or if the conversation hasn't moved far away from sex then it'll be a coffee, either daytime or early evening, somewhere relatively local to me.
In that scenario knowing you had a hotel booked would really put me off, because I'd imagine there would be pressure to turn it into more than a social.
There are people I've been chatting to for a long time, both via message and by phone, with conversations that aren't predominantly sexual (although they do sometimes cover that ground).
For those people I'd be happy to travel much further, I'd be happy to go out for drinks rather than coffee, and them having a hotel booked wouldn't be as off-putting. It feels more like an established friendship, if that makes sense.
They aren't set in stone rules, sometimes there is a particular pub in Liverpool I'll meet in because I know some of the bar staff and they look out for me.
They're a good rule of thumb though. |
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I’ve been to large organised socials , smaller ones and 1:1 socials which have ranged from her saying ‘nah’ and walking off to another saying ‘drink your coffee quick I want you’.
It’s a non contact coffee meet for me to see if we like each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always somewhere public like a cafe. Not a pub, no alcohol. I don't go to people's houses and they don't even know the town where I live.
I want the social within about 2 weeks of first chatting or we won't ever meet. |
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Getting to the hotel bit and bypassing the rest.
If someone I has been speaking to on the forums was in the area for work say, and they had that same question, then yes. I would meet for a social under those circumstances, but not if they'd booked a hotel purely for a social with me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If your a single female meeting a single man...would you travel to social or he would travel to you?
I won’t travel more than 30 minutes for a play meet, so I certainly wouldn’t for a social. I also wouldn’t go to someone’s house for a social. I’d go to a local-ish cafe though (not too local as I don’t want to be followed home).
I wouldn't go to or bring someone to my home till at least a few meets in
Very sensible.
Let's pretend you and I have chatted but not met,I say to you..can we meet up for a social? I will travel from Manchester to Cardiff and stay in a hotel and we can meet late afternoon for a drink.....would that seem strange?
That would sound ok to me, however if I knew you had booked a hotel I would be put off.
Agreed. That reads like "just a social (unless I can twist your arm)". No thank you."
I get that and thats given me something to think about...but I would have been chatting for awhile and I would have mentioned the hotel in the course of the conversations...this wouldn't be a random social...we would have chatted on the phone first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, a social is just a short meet to get to know someone and see if there's potential chemistry there. No expectations.
I don't drink alcohol, but I have met people in a pub for a soft drink, or for coffee. Once I met someone for a walk by the river with my dog.
I don't travel so I prefer to either meet people locally or for them to come to my area. But I don't tend to chat with people who are too far away, because in the past, I've found that men who travel have expectations and it can get unpleasant. Also I prefer regular meets rather than one offs and that can be difficult if someone is too far away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My socials vary depending on how long I've been chatting to someone, the level of trust that's there, the level of rapport that's been built.
Generally if it's someone I've not been chatting to long or if the conversation hasn't moved far away from sex then it'll be a coffee, either daytime or early evening, somewhere relatively local to me.
In that scenario knowing you had a hotel booked would really put me off, because I'd imagine there would be pressure to turn it into more than a social.
There are people I've been chatting to for a long time, both via message and by phone, with conversations that aren't predominantly sexual (although they do sometimes cover that ground).
For those people I'd be happy to travel much further, I'd be happy to go out for drinks rather than coffee, and them having a hotel booked wouldn't be as off-putting. It feels more like an established friendship, if that makes sense.
They aren't set in stone rules, sometimes there is a particular pub in Liverpool I'll meet in because I know some of the bar staff and they look out for me.
They're a good rule of thumb though."
I agree but my point was that both parties are in agreement about a social meeting and hopefully the other person would know me enough to know that booking a hotel for myself is exactly that |
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