FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > 50 shades of grey -a different question
50 shades of grey -a different question
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"...mmmm yes I'm sure the press would love to make bad references to this they're bound to and always will. On the whole I hope that it encourages regular couples to be a bit more honest about what they want, like and expect from each other. "see this is my hope.. but I see total newbies looking on fetish sites.. and thinking its all going to be full of GOOD guys.. and sadly its not.. There are enough stupid rules been introduced.. Like even if I consent to a damned good spanking, if I am marked.. my Master could get done for it if someone else reported it.. despite me loving it.. I hope it does good... but wait for the potential fall out. oh and I havent read them as read a bit that was meant to be really deep and I though hmmmm tame. lol Cali | |||
| |||
 | |||
" Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with!" It is perfectly possible I run my house, school run, work, family and have a 24/7 bdsm relationship that at all times I am under my Masters control.. It just takes work and effort but is very rewarding.
but this is what I mean.. women are after the fairytale.. and sadly some could get a nightmare instead.
Cali | |||
"I don't think for a moment that the 'vanilla housewife set' wants a bdsm relationship. What they want is a man who is the fairy tale. They want their Christian Grey who is loaded, gorgeous, sexy, adores them and despite being a little bit complicated tells them he loves them and sweeps them off for romantic getaways. Its been going on for years. We all wanted a Johnny (Dirty Dancing) we all wanted an Edward Lewis (Pretty Woman)...but we don't want a dancer who's skint or a fella that uses prostitutes and never takes a day off work. The reality is that this is fantasy. BDSM relationships only work with complete understanding and compromise. Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with!" I kind of agree with this. I haven't read the books yet, but I am going to just out of curiosity about the buzz around them. I think I too will find them quite tame, but I do think all the women that are raving about them now will probably try a set of handcuffs and a little spanking and then settle back to their 'normal' sex life...conducting a 'proper' BDSM relationship involves a lot of effort and some of the women that are raving about these books seem to find sex alone too much of an effort! x | |||
" But my question is this.. Do you think that these books are going to help bring things like this out in the open, or is it basically just opening the door for some really bad press. " It's bad, it's daily male reader level bdsm soft porn. | |||
| |||
 | |||
 | |||
" Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with! It is perfectly possible I run my house, school run, work, family and have a 24/7 bdsm relationship that at all times I am under my Masters control.. It just takes work and effort but is very rewarding.
but this is what I mean.. women are after the fairytale.. and sadly some could get a nightmare instead.
Cali "But thats my point Cali, I say that the FANTASY is impossible within the realms of daily life, thats why a true BDSM relationship takes time and effort on both parts and real understanding and love. And its the fantasy that the vanilla ladies want, the fairy tale. | |||
"I haven't read the book, but have read extracts and reports on it... and 50 things you didn't know about the books etc.. But my question is this.. Do you think that these books are going to help bring things like this out in the open, or is it basically just opening the door for some really bad press. Now I have been watching on sites like this, bdsm sites and other sites... and it seems that half the women on there have now decided that they want their OWN Mr Grey... thing is... there are a lot of guys that hide in that lifestyle but are actually just bullies and nothing like Mr Grey... Now while I find it funny that women that I know are quite vanilla discussing the book and how sexy it would be to have a man like that, I do worry that women are going to be jumping in without any real background and that somewhere along the line there will be a incident that will have bad press.. For instance.. "tied and beaten by my own Mr Grey" I can see the headlines now... so do you think this is a good thing to get it out in the open... or is it a bad thing? Cali " Its the current fad for many impressionable women at the moment, it will be the African warrior lover next or some other deep rooted wank fantasy the week after. | |||
" But my question is this.. Do you think that these books are going to help bring things like this out in the open, or is it basically just opening the door for some really bad press. It's bad, it's daily male reader level bdsm soft porn. " Split my sides at that! How witty and clever to associate it to a paper! Blessed with the ultimate intellect you must be!  | |||
" Its the current fad for many impressionable women at the moment, it will be the African warrior lover next or some other deep rooted wank fantasy the week after. "Or perhaps we can all just fantasise about eating strawberries and cream off that gorgeous body of yours...*goes off to fan myself in a hot flush* | |||
 | |||
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. The 'On-Your-Knees-And-Suck-My-Cock' crew are absolutely creaming their tighty-whiteys at the thought of a tidal wave of bored naiive housewives looking for some sub play. Profiles sprouting like wild mushrooms, they'll arrive en masse expecting a chiselled young man with flowing hair but they'll end up with Dave, a creepy truck driver from Essex, with a false eye and a penchant for wearing leather thongs. (Leather makes you look more Dom, don'tcha know?) We'll undoubtedly see an influx on BDSM forums about how 'Mr X' did this and why 'MR Y' didn't turn out how 'Naiive Housewifa A' wanted him to. Of course 'Mr X' will have a profile stating that he's an experienced Master, meaning in reality he once put Matalan clothes pegs on an ex-girlfriend's nipples and took a few photos. I can see into the future...and it's absolutely fucking hilarious. "I'm just gonna nip to the loo before I wet my pants laughing at this - SO TRUE!!! Brilliant | |||
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. The 'On-Your-Knees-And-Suck-My-Cock' crew are absolutely creaming their tighty-whiteys at the thought of a tidal wave of bored naiive housewives looking for some sub play. Profiles sprouting like wild mushrooms, they'll arrive en masse expecting a chiselled young man with flowing hair but they'll end up with Dave, a creepy truck driver from Essex, with a false eye and a penchant for wearing leather thongs. (Leather makes you look more Dom, don'tcha know?) We'll undoubtedly see an influx on BDSM forums about how 'Mr X' did this and why 'MR Y' didn't turn out how 'Naiive Housewifa A' wanted him to. Of course 'Mr X' will have a profile stating that he's an experienced Master, meaning in reality he once put Matalan clothes pegs on an ex-girlfriend's nipples and took a few photos. I can see into the future...and it's absolutely fucking hilarious. "
Lol and thats the general agreement from my friends within the scene, I wont read the drivel but my mum, grandma, aunt and cousins all are (sharing the books though, not all buying them, so there is some small mercy in that) | |||
" Its the current fad for many impressionable women at the moment, it will be the African warrior lover next or some other deep rooted wank fantasy the week after.
Or perhaps we can all just fantasise about eating strawberries and cream off that gorgeous body of yours...*goes off to fan myself in a hot flush* "I'll start cutting the strawberries up so they don't slide off | |||
" Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with! It is perfectly possible I run my house, school run, work, family and have a 24/7 bdsm relationship that at all times I am under my Masters control.. It just takes work and effort but is very rewarding.
but this is what I mean.. women are after the fairytale.. and sadly some could get a nightmare instead.
Cali "You are very right i have now read the utter drivel that these books are and know of many vanilla friends that claim to be jealous of me for having my own Mr Grey but i know if he was to aproach them with flogger or crop in hand they would run away and be found in corner somewhere wearing a tin foil hat muttering to themselves. I dont see Sir as Mr Grey but i know i have a 24/7 relationship with him that my friends if they knew the half of would not understand it these books are not going to do true bdsm lifestylers any favours as there will now be an influx of fantasists and wannabe doms | |||
I think the majority of women will just read it so they can chat about it with their friends. Whether they secretly get off on it or are disgusted by it... well that's something else.
Some will buy handcuffs and discover that there's more than one position. Others will go looking for Mr Grey and as you say, get themselves into allsorts of trouble.
There was an article today about some bloke squirting his girlfriend in the face with hp sauce because he was offended that she'd been reading it. From the way the article was written, he sounded to be abusive and controlling anyway so the book thing was irrelevant. I'm sure there will be more of a backlash with 'bad' stories soon. But for now the papers are still loving the books.
Overall I think it's a bad thing. Vanilla's shouldn't have sex apart from on birthdays. And they certainly shouldn't be talking about it in public.  | |||
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. The 'On-Your-Knees-And-Suck-My-Cock' crew are absolutely creaming their tighty-whiteys at the thought of a tidal wave of bored naiive housewives looking for some sub play. Profiles sprouting like wild mushrooms, they'll arrive en masse expecting a chiselled young man with flowing hair but they'll end up with Dave, a creepy truck driver from Essex, with a false eye and a penchant for wearing leather thongs. (Leather makes you look more Dom, don'tcha know?) We'll undoubtedly see an influx on BDSM forums about how 'Mr X' did this and why 'MR Y' didn't turn out how 'Naiive Housewifa A' wanted him to. Of course 'Mr X' will have a profile stating that he's an experienced Master, meaning in reality he once put Matalan clothes pegs on an ex-girlfriend's nipples and took a few photos. I can see into the future...and it's absolutely fucking hilarious. "LMAO! | |||
"I don't think for a moment that the 'vanilla housewife set' wants a bdsm relationship. What they want is a man who is the fairy tale. They want their Christian Grey who is loaded, gorgeous, sexy, adores them and despite being a little bit complicated tells them he loves them and sweeps them off for romantic getaways. Its been going on for years. We all wanted a Johnny (Dirty Dancing) we all wanted an Edward Lewis (Pretty Woman)...but we don't want a dancer who's skint or a fella that uses prostitutes and never takes a day off work. The reality is that this is fantasy. BDSM relationships only work with complete understanding and compromise. Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with!" +1 - but I do think the OP is right - somewhere, sometime in the near future there will be the 'I was the real Mr Grey sub...' etc - that's what the media do: milk the hype for all they're worth, and then shoot it down in flames when they've had enough of it.... Watch this space.....
 | |||
"I haven't read the book, but have read extracts and reports on it... and 50 things you didn't know about the books etc.. But my question is this.. Do you think that these books are going to help bring things like this out in the open, or is it basically just opening the door for some really bad press. Now I have been watching on sites like this, bdsm sites and other sites... and it seems that half the women on there have now decided that they want their OWN Mr Grey... thing is... there are a lot of guys that hide in that lifestyle but are actually just bullies and nothing like Mr Grey... Now while I find it funny that women that I know are quite vanilla discussing the book and how sexy it would be to have a man like that, I do worry that women are going to be jumping in without any real background and that somewhere along the line there will be a incident that will have bad press.. For instance.. "tied and beaten by my own Mr Grey" I can see the headlines now... so do you think this is a good thing to get it out in the open... or is it a bad thing? Cali Its the current fad for many impressionable women at the moment, it will be the African warrior lover next or some other deep rooted wank fantasy the week after. "I haven't read the books and don't intend to. All the hype made me think the same thing, bored, impressionable women on a fantasy trip. We've had Mellors, Mr Grey, Mr Darcy et al...yep, African warrior due an appearance! | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
"I am reading the first one, have really struggled with it as it reminds me of why I don't read fiction, and am not that bothered about reading any more so I don't think I can really comment, would much rather read something I can get my teeth into, this is dullness beyond dull, lets face it, if one skips several pages, its not worth reading is it "Don't let Barbara Cartland with whips put you of reading fiction..please | |||
| |||
"I don't think it will lead to a influx of bdsm relationships going wrong, it may increase the sales of furry handcuffs and feathery whips and blindfolds at Ann Summers, but I don't think it will lead to a full dom/sum relationship where women are being seriously hurt and marked and humiliated. The whole phenoma of these books and the interest is not sparked by the want to be dominated but by the fairytale relationship and the fantasy that is Christian Grey. We all have ideas of how this man looks and he has us swooning. Its just fantasy fiction that's all. This man exists in our heads and we all have a different perception of what he's like based on what our ideal man is. The fantasy of a gorgeous man (wearing nothing but a pair of tight ripped jeans, commando underneath mmm), who is a successful businessman who can whisk us away for lunch in Paris, dinner in New York, a nightclub in Vegas and is imaginative and talented in bed is what women are interested in, not the pain and humiliation aspect. Perhaps we all want to get away from our daily lives of juggling a full time career with washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning toilets which is our reality and fantasise about a perfect man, who comes with a little b aggage that we all want to save and mother a little, but who is sexy, dynamic, intelligent and can whisk us around the world and take us away from it all, perfect fantasy. So to those in a sub/dom relationship who think women really want and are envious of what they have, then I disagree. You don't have the fantasy of what some women dream of, you have the down to earth reality. A middle aged, manual worker, balding, paunch belly is not the same as our fantasy Mr Grey, even if he is holding a whip "Totally agree..It's Mills and Boon fantasy froth, Mr Darcy circa 2012..harmless, and very unlikely to have any real effect on it's readers. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
)
among my friends who have read it the majorty have found them poorly written or they skip over the risque bits to the 'story line'
this is our generations 'lady chatterly's lover' it might brig out a few fantasies but i cant see much serious cross over from these books | |||
| |||
"My wife and everyone she knows (except mum) is reading it a Is there enough Mr Greys to go round b hoow can this make people try the lifestyle and c What about the guys that are watching there partners reading it, surely they have a choice" I bet your mum is reading it, she just wouldn't let on to her little man... | |||
"the headlines have already started (well in the Sun anyway )
among my friends who have read it the majorty have found them poorly written or they skip over the risque bits to the 'story line'
this is our generations 'lady chatterly's lover' it might brig out a few fantasies but i cant see much serious cross over from these books "Hardly 'Lady Chatterley's lover'..both in quality and purpose. | |||
| |||
| |||
"the headlines have already started (well in the Sun anyway )
among my friends who have read it the majorty have found them poorly written or they skip over the risque bits to the 'story line'
this is our generations 'lady chatterly's lover' it might brig out a few fantasies but i cant see much serious cross over from these books
Hardly 'Lady Chatterley's lover'..both in quality and purpose."never read the bok so cant comment on the literary comparison. What i meant was these books are causing a rucus because they are a bit sexy and a bit on the kinky/naughty side, much like lady chatterley's lover did (i think...i am much to young to remember it first hand  )
Its all yummy mummy's getting hot under the ralph lauren collar over a man who is dominant and assertive but wounded and needs looking after
Much like the slaone set getting their pearl necklaces in a twist over the rich lady of the house getting down and dirty with the gardener in the 80's | |||
| |||
| |||
That said, I enjoyed book 1, it had potential... but it lost the plot with books 2/3 for me. I'll stick to writing my own, it's much filthier lol | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review. About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey. Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page. Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously? The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!" its a flipping book for christ sake its not based on a true story its called fantasie fiction its not real | |||
 | |||
| |||
If you like that sort of scenario - innocent girl corrupted by experience older dominant male try Cassandra's Conflict published by Black Lace - awesome book | |||
"That was my take to - for a supposedly female fantasy it involves a woman who is turned on by kinky sex, always ready, responds almost immediately to any advance and orgasms several times in what reads like a rather short sex session. That sounds like a pretty male fantasy to me
If you like that sort of scenario - innocent girl corrupted by experience older dominant male try Cassandra's Conflict published by Black Lace - awesome book "I don't know about that being a male fantasy but starting to wonder if the woman that wrote it has read my blog... As my master can and does make me orgasm with a word which is great but took a lot of training... I'm also always in the mood... Always after things like the book contains... Say my worry is the women that I have already come across on the bdsm sites that have read the books and think all dominant men are like the book character... And sorry but most won't be. And in answer to the lady that asked to I see it as taking something away from my lifestyle then no... It's more the case of not wanting even more interference from the powers that be... As many aspects of bdsm can fall foul of the law and changes have made it possible that even with full consent of the sub, a dominant can be charged with various crimes. So I worry that some inexperienced person all romanticised up on this book will fall foul a bully and have more rules thrust upon the lifestyle. Cali | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I have just finished all three, and god do I miss them now. We like a bit of bondage in our relationship, but like someone has already pointed out, the average woman who reads theses book will fall more in love with the guy and not his bondage lifestyle. It was very tame and intact in my opinion they didn't have a bdsm relationship,mthey just endulged in a bit of bondage now and then. I loved the story, I loved it all. And yes I would love a sexy filthy rich guy who adores me and likes to sank me now and then lol. My Oh is a perfect mr grey for me dispite not being filthy rich. But it is a story I found hard to put down and was sad to see finished x" Jane has finished all 3 books and thought they were a great read but they arnt for everyones taste but no book ever will be what i dont get is why some one see's they have the right to put the wrighter down just because they dont like the books and as its the fastist selling book this year it must be doing something right | |||
| |||
| |||
"if read in the right context Cali there is more sex and violence in the Bible and thers one book that should be banned " Well said xx I don't see it as a lack of knowledge of the lifestyle because if you read these books it's not about the bdsm lifestyle,mits more about how he got into it etc etc and a great story. It's is SO NOT. BDSM book in the slightest,mso lack of knowledge has nothing to do with it. Don't think the writer intended it to be either x | |||
| |||
"I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review. About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey. Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page. Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously? The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!" I am with you, I started to read it, thought it poorly written, got bored and skimmed a lot of it, and not just the sex bits. When I had about 50 pages left I decided that I wanted to know what happened and wasn't interested in how it got there so I went to the last page, back tracked a few pages and finished it, it is a remind of why I don't like fiction and I won't be reading the other two, I would rather watch paint dry | |||
"I don't think for a moment that the 'vanilla housewife set' wants a bdsm relationship. What they want is a man who is the fairy tale. They want their Christian Grey who is loaded, gorgeous, sexy, adores them and despite being a little bit complicated tells them he loves them and sweeps them off for romantic getaways. Its been going on for years. We all wanted a Johnny (Dirty Dancing) we all wanted an Edward Lewis (Pretty Woman)...but we don't want a dancer who's skint or a fella that uses prostitutes and never takes a day off work. The reality is that this is fantasy. BDSM relationships only work with complete understanding and compromise. Because lets face it, it is impossible to live the fantasy life when there is the school run/housework/deadlines at work/family/etc etc to be dealing with!" Most women want the whole package. A guy who is considerate, gets them, who they find attractive, who has a naughty wicked side and a loving kind side (and that he should exhibit the right side at the right time most importantly) who is also well-mannered, has the resources necessary for a good life, is ambitious, but not to the point of cherishing the little things, that worships the ground she walks on yet can put her in her place when need be too. Most guys as they get older will become better at ticking more boxes. Most women as they get older will realise that there's not many guys who will ever tick all the boxes, so compromise for what is most important. The only problem is while a lot were searching for the perfect bloke in their younger years, the guys who were close to perfect but not quite there are getting snapped up. This is one big reason why there's a lot of the Bridget Jones types out there. And why its a doddle for a man to find a relationship compared to a woman as women are more hard-wired to search for a life partner than men are. Men on the other hand have a higher drive to procreate with multiple partners than women do so its easier for a woman to get sex. Fortunately for both sexes, men usually come to realise at some point in their lives that they actually need a relationship too, whereas women come to realise that they don't actually want Mr Perfect in real life (how could you compete, and you'd probably be paranoid that other women are constantly trying to charm him away, a bit like an "average" guy with a solvent supermodel girlfriend), just Mr Right For Them. So there is often a happy ending after all! | |||
| |||
" I don't see it as a lack of knowledge of the lifestyle because if you read these books it's not about the bdsm lifestyle,mits more about how he got into it etc etc and a great story. It's is SO NOT. BDSM book in the slightest,mso lack of knowledge has nothing to do with it. Don't think the writer intended it to be either x" I have not read the books.. my comments are based on the influx of women on various bdsm sites looking for their own Mr grey.... I know that some will just see it as a book.. but It's everywhere... Tv, Facebook... And even my 14 year old daughter wants to read it and I said no... Cali | |||
| |||
