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Dominants
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Question for you all weather Dom or Domme,
Do you go looking for a Sub? (on here or another site)
If you do what do you look for in a profile?
If the profile doesn't actually state the person is interested in being a sub, is a sub or interested in any form of kink, would you still message them?
I don't mean just to get to know someone but specifically looking for a Sub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I have been looking for a sub, I browse the classified of another website we dare not name. As a domme, there is no shortage of male subs looking for a domme. Think that doesn’t answer your question as a woman sub unless you were specifically looking for a woman domme. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for you all weather Dom or Domme,
Do you go looking for a Sub? (on here or another site)
If you do what do you look for in a profile?
If the profile doesn't actually state the person is interested in being a sub, is a sub or interested in any form of kink, would you still message them?
I don't mean just to get to know someone but specifically looking for a Sub. "
I go looking for women I can chat too first.
So I would still message regardless.
Dont really look for anything in a profile, as from experience profiles mean naff all until you actually spoken to someone.
Being sub isnt also a gaurantee your into the same dynamics too with bdsm
I often find its the lesser overt submissive women I find to be actually more submissive and way more filthy from a kinks perspective
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I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
Your wearing a corset in your profile pic so to the average I saw 50 shades once man that means to them you 100% their slave.
 at anyone calling themself a master on the first message too.
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It's so not like that but yes many think it is....
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for you all weather Dom or Domme,
Do you go looking for a Sub? (on here or another site)
If you do what do you look for in a profile?
If the profile doesn't actually state the person is interested in being a sub, is a sub or interested in any form of kink, would you still message them?
I don't mean just to get to know someone but specifically looking for a Sub.
I go looking for women I can chat too first.
So I would still message regardless.
Dont really look for anything in a profile, as from experience profiles mean naff all until you actually spoken to someone.
Being sub isnt also a gaurantee your into the same dynamics too with bdsm
I often find its the lesser overt submissive women I find to be actually more submissive and way more filthy from a kinks perspective
"
I find this message disturbing. You mean prey upon woman who don’t know what D/s and are aware of their boundaries? Sounds like the kind of Dom most people warn you about. Sadly that is only once you are in the scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question for you all weather Dom or Domme,
Do you go looking for a Sub? (on here or another site)
If you do what do you look for in a profile?
If the profile doesn't actually state the person is interested in being a sub, is a sub or interested in any form of kink, would you still message them?
I don't mean just to get to know someone but specifically looking for a Sub.
I go looking for women I can chat too first.
So I would still message regardless.
Dont really look for anything in a profile, as from experience profiles mean naff all until you actually spoken to someone.
Being sub isnt also a gaurantee your into the same dynamics too with bdsm
I often find its the lesser overt submissive women I find to be actually more submissive and way more filthy from a kinks perspective
I find this message disturbing. You mean prey upon woman who don’t know what D/s and are aware of their boundaries? Sounds like the kind of Dom most people warn you about. Sadly that is only once you are in the scene. "
Nah I just mean I dont go looking for subs like an item on a menu.
You totally mis understood that.
I used be on the scene for years, it was that whole predatory shit that put me off it seeing it day in and day out at munches and clubs.
Im just out looking for women to have a laugh with and if there kinky there kinky, happy days we can explore together.
What really irks me is the try hard labels approach, thats where most people go wrong same for doms and subs.
Most women who shout about being sub and into bdsm are anything but in my experience its just a word they use to attratc men and vice versa men that expect submission because they call themselves a dom
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"It's so not like that but yes many think it is....
I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
Oh, I know it's not...I've explored enough of the scene to know that I'm a masochist but not submissive in the slightest, and I have a trusted dom who I visit when I need a release of that kind. But that is strictly not for public consumption on here, I wouldn't hand over that power to any Tom, Dick or Harry...I'm just interested to know the thought process behind contacting someone when they make no reference to it in their profile. |
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I like to see myself as a naturally assertive personality, so I would guess in the world of black and white that equals Dom if in the more educated world of BDSM Top would be better, especially since the 50 shades effect has had a big negative affect on people’s thoughts and the world is now full of dim-Dom’s who don’t really have a clue and if it came to some hard play wouldn’t give a moment thought to the aftercare needed. However back to the question, look though the interests that people post and the bio you can normally pick a bit up they have a little curiosity towards more adventurous play, and finally if they read what I’m about on my profile there is no doubt, if the don’t like it the can move on past to the next. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I've actually found (speaking from a submissive perspective) that it's better to establish a connection and have the dynamic evolve rather than specifically going looking for the dynamic - especially from an angle where dominant women looking for male submissives are both a rarity and swamped by other men looking to submit to them, and literally throwing themselves at their feet to prove themselves "worthy" (and that last inflection is aimed at the submissive men, not the dominant women!!)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
Totally agree!
Lu  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I should add that my profile doesn't overtly reflect my submissive side (although there are clues if you look closely enough) for precisely the reasons I highlighted - I would rather that dynamic to evolve and come out naturallt over time than it be something I was perceived to be looking for - it's also not an over-riding "must have" thing for me, so another reason it doesn't feature heavily. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask. |
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"I've actually found (speaking from a submissive perspective) that it's better to establish a connection and have the dynamic evolve rather than specifically going looking for the dynamic - especially from an angle where dominant women looking for male submissives are both a rarity and swamped by other men looking to submit to them, and literally throwing themselves at their feet to prove themselves "worthy" (and that last inflection is aimed at the submissive men, not the dominant women!!)
"
Think you are spot on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wanted to add, I'm not looking for a Sub (or a Dom for that matter) I ask because I repeatedly get messages from guys automatically assuming I will submit to them. I wondered if there was a process I didn't know about that could be the reason. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask. "
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it. |
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"Just wanted to add, I'm not looking for a Sub (or a Dom for that matter) I ask because I repeatedly get messages from guys automatically assuming I will submit to them. I wondered if there was a process I didn't know about that could be the reason. "
It's highly presumptuous.
Unless you are saying you are looking for a dom..and even if you are ..you need to see if the dynamic is there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
I was about to say the same... I've had quite a few messages from submissive men even though my profile has no hints that I'm into that. Could never understand why they did message... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I should add, having read my last back that there are a lot of very good and respectful male dominants out there who do know what they are doing and have a wealth of knowledge and my last post was by no means referring to them - they're no so easily spotted though as they tend not to make a "thing" of how dominant they are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask.
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it."
I get it's always going to be there, it's just frustrating. It's presumptuous at a very high level and I doubt half these guys would do it in a face to face setting (probably because I'd give them a death stare ) but phrases like "most women are submissive" or "it's there you just havent found the right guy yet" get right up my nose. |
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"Just wanted to add, I'm not looking for a Sub (or a Dom for that matter) I ask because I repeatedly get messages from guys automatically assuming I will submit to them. I wondered if there was a process I didn't know about that could be the reason. "
Don't think there is just people trying it on. Some women are equally as bad for asking men to be their "Daddy Dom" in their first message, because it's a popular aesthetic on the clock app |
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask.
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it.
I get it's always going to be there, it's just frustrating. It's presumptuous at a very high level and I doubt half these guys would do it in a face to face setting (probably because I'd give them a death stare ) but phrases like "most women are submissive" or "it's there you just havent found the right guy yet" get right up my nose."
This gets up my nose and I am submissive. But it's in no way means I'm submissive to everyone, that's something to be eating with me. And if you approach me in that way it only serves to activate my top mode |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it.
I get it's always going to be there, it's just frustrating. It's presumptuous at a very high level and I doubt half these guys would do it in a face to face setting (probably because I'd give them a death stare ) but phrases like "most women are submissive" or "it's there you just havent found the right guy yet" get right up my nose."
It *is* presumptuous completely - just the same as many other things some men presume on a site like this sadly.
It's actually quite arrogant too. |
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I message people who interest me and just let the conversation flow naturally, it will end up in certain acts if we both have an interest in them. Anyone who is seeking to use me for a specific act is quickly dismissed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask.
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it.
I get it's always going to be there, it's just frustrating. It's presumptuous at a very high level and I doubt half these guys would do it in a face to face setting (probably because I'd give them a death stare ) but phrases like "most women are submissive" or "it's there you just havent found the right guy yet" get right up my nose.
This gets up my nose and I am submissive. But it's in no way means I'm submissive to everyone, that's something to be eating with me. And if you approach me in that way it only serves to activate my top mode"
Not just me it annoys then? |
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask.
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it.
I get it's always going to be there, it's just frustrating. It's presumptuous at a very high level and I doubt half these guys would do it in a face to face setting (probably because I'd give them a death stare ) but phrases like "most women are submissive" or "it's there you just havent found the right guy yet" get right up my nose.
This gets up my nose and I am submissive. But it's in no way means I'm submissive to everyone, that's something to be eating with me. And if you approach me in that way it only serves to activate my top mode
Not just me it annoys then? "
Nope drives me potty, yeah I can be submissive. Call me any honorifics or say you're doing to do xyz without even a conversation. You're more than likely to activate bitch mode in all honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no reference to D/s on my profile at all but have lost count of the number of so called Dom’s contacting me.
I have researched the dynamic both ways and so far I think the 50 shades effect has just enabled some men to use the Dom role as an excuse to control/abuse women in what they think is an allowed way and nothing to do with the true Dom/sub relationship/dynamic,. If anything most of these guys come across as full on misogynists.
This is purely based on the messages I have received and I know not representative of true Dom’s.
Conversely I have also been contacted frequently by lots of sub men wanting me to be their Domme and goddess worship. Again not sure why as I make no mention on my profile.. |
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I don't advertise myself as a Dom, because it there are many who don't understand it so either frightened away or attracted for the wrong reasons.
There are many women who enjoy doing some submissive things, but they aren't actually submissive. There is a difference. In the same vein,there are lots of men who call themselves Masters, who could not dominate their way out of a wet paper bag!
I think it's difficult to actively search for a sub on Fab- there are other places to do that. You might find someone with whom you can nurture and cultivate a D/s relationship though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't advertise myself as a Dom, because it there are many who don't understand it so either frightened away or attracted for the wrong reasons.
There are many women who enjoy doing some submissive things, but they aren't actually submissive. There is a difference. In the same vein,there are lots of men who call themselves Masters, who could not dominate their way out of a wet paper bag!
I think it's difficult to actively search for a sub on Fab- there are other places to do that. You might find someone with whom you can nurture and cultivate a D/s relationship though"
The wet paper bag comment made me laugh 
I don't like labels at the best of times and actively try to avoid them but there seems to be this "breed" of guy around at the moment that apparently knows me better than I know myself and on top of that, feels the need to tell me so. I am who I am and I like what I like but the min someone tells me something about myself or tried to put a label on me, my bitch is coming out of her box. |
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I’ve alluded to my dominant persuasion in my profile. That said while fab has worked as a method of finding a submissive I have found other platforms more successful.
In my view submissives tend to be drawn to doms just as vice versa. Seems to be the way the world works. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"When I have been looking for a sub, I browse the classified of another website we dare not name. As a domme, there is no shortage of male subs looking for a domme. Think that doesn’t answer your question as a woman sub unless you were specifically looking for a woman domme."
It does seem like that , on here at least, the majority of men are subs. Or are they ? Will they just say and do anything to get a chance of a meet. It’s seems on here too a higher percentage of dominant women than in real life, forums at least.
I wouldn’t go looking on here or anywhere , you meet someone , you get to know them, go on adventure which might end up being a bit D/s, it invariably does for me most of the time |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Thinking about this - is it actually any different from men generally on Fab who think the way the site works is to send random women details of what they'd like to do to them? Regardless of whether that be D/s related or otherwise - same thing under a different guise kind of thing |
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"I don't advertise myself as a Dom, because it there are many who don't understand it so either frightened away or attracted for the wrong reasons.
There are many women who enjoy doing some submissive things, but they aren't actually submissive. There is a difference. In the same vein,there are lots of men who call themselves Masters, who could not dominate their way out of a wet paper bag!
I think it's difficult to actively search for a sub on Fab- there are other places to do that. You might find someone with whom you can nurture and cultivate a D/s relationship though
The wet paper bag comment made me laugh
I don't like labels at the best of times and actively try to avoid them but there seems to be this "breed" of guy around at the moment that apparently knows me better than I know myself and on top of that, feels the need to tell me so. I am who I am and I like what I like but the min someone tells me something about myself or tried to put a label on me, my bitch is coming out of her box. "
The wet paper bag comment referred to the idiots who think that a dominant is someone for whom.will just fall at his feet and submit to his every whim, without giving anything in return- the ones who send abusive opening messages with a list of demands. There are plenty of them about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thinking about this - is it actually any different from men generally on Fab who think the way the site works is to send random women details of what they'd like to do to them? Regardless of whether that be D/s related or otherwise - same thing under a different guise kind of thing "
No it's not really, it's just this was a specific question that I was genuinely interested in the answers too. I didnt want it to be taken as a "man bashing" thread. |
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I don’t advertise what I am or looking for only because of the amount of people thinking they know what its actually about. I wouldn’t even consider anyone on this site for this kink.. think swinging and sub/dom are two very different things in my opinion  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Thinking about this - is it actually any different from men generally on Fab who think the way the site works is to send random women details of what they'd like to do to them? Regardless of whether that be D/s related or otherwise - same thing under a different guise kind of thing
No it's not really, it's just this was a specific question that I was genuinely interested in the answers too. I didnt want it to be taken as a "man bashing" thread. "
Oh I know - the similarities just struck me as I was thinking about it was all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I have been looking for a sub, I browse the classified of another website we dare not name. As a domme, there is no shortage of male subs looking for a domme. Think that doesn’t answer your question as a woman sub unless you were specifically looking for a woman domme.
It does seem like that , on here at least, the majority of men are subs. Or are they ? Will they just say and do anything to get a chance of a meet. It’s seems on here too a higher percentage of dominant women than in real life, forums at least.
I wouldn’t go looking on here or anywhere , you meet someone , you get to know them, go on adventure which might end up being a bit D/s, it invariably does for me most of the time"
I think it matters what you are looking for. When I use the classifieds it is NOT for a long term relationship but more sexually driven. A well written ad will let the pursuer know what your limits are, it also tells me tons about them especially if they are looking for D/s to be done to them “the do-me sub” who would be better looking for a professional dominatrix. I prefer service based submission which is harder to find.
If I was looking for more than just a one-off/ play partner (ie I want to be with them for other reasons than sex/play) then of course you don’t lead with the D/s! |
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite
This is exactly why I asked because I get the same and after the upteenth message saying a similar thing I thought I'd ask.
Sadly, conversely to dominant women who are a rarity and usually well versed in what they are looking for etc, dominant men seem to be two a penny and a large number of them use the likes of fifty shades and BDSM porn as a point of reference.
It's the downside of the internet having opened many people's eyes, mine included, to their own sexuality -whilst it's great to be able to identify, relate to, and accept feelings and needs as a result, the other side of that is there are many who see it and think "I'll have some of that" and dive in feet first without actually giving it any real thought or informing themselves sufficiently first - and that applies to both sides of the coin, dominant and submissive, in this instance.
Then of course the "normalisation" and acceptance of it as a branch of people's sexuality leads *some* to think it's for everyone which it clearly isn't.
Trouble is you can only seek to try and educate people but you won't ever stop it."
I used to be very active in the BDSM scene attending maybe 10 or so social munches in my area but following the 50 shades the people changed, now in a wide and diverse scene you will always find people you don’t like but that’s a definite change when it becomes people you don’t trust and you don’t understand the motives for and have taken no time or care for the etiquette. The pleasure was drained from them for me. |
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"I'm interested to see the replies on this...I have absolutely no reference on my profile to being a sub, but I get loads of messages from Doms and "masters" looking for a sub.
The ones I've questioned about why they've messaged me when I have no mention of being into it always come back with some version of what is basically "all women are into that".
It just makes me think they've been watching that 50 Shades shite "
Your third pic looks like you are in first position, so that would make us wonder.
We tend to look for little signs like that, or even just to try and get a feel. That really depends on the level of info and pics in the profile though as plenty of profiles with basically nothing. However as we enjoy vanilla ffm then as long as there is something that shows an interest in that, the rest is just a bonus |
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We met four years ago on a site far far away, or it’s just that we can’t name it.
We wouldn’t message anybody on here for kink, we put in our profile what we enjoy together. So it leaves a door open if it’s required only need to ask we have played with a few submissive females and more dominant ones, always came back as a interest in later conversation. |
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It's not a massive part of my life but it's something I do enjoy. Having said that the girls with sub tenancies have been found without it being explicit on their profile, it's something that has come out during conversations. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
If someone doesn't mention anything about D/s or kink in anyway shape or form I would not approach them with that in mind. However we may reach out to connect with people not into BDSM or kink if there is something that catches our attention in their profile. We just have to make it clear we are reaching out for non BDSM reasons. Kinksters need friends too you know!
Sadly I will make a massive assumption and say most of the people contacting you as a Dom are likely fans of kinkcom porn and think having a sub equates to having a sex slave.
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"If someone doesn't mention anything about D/s or kink in anyway shape or form I would not approach them with that in mind. However we may reach out to connect with people not into BDSM or kink if there is something that catches our attention in their profile. We just have to make it clear we are reaching out for non BDSM reasons. Kinksters need friends too you know!
Sadly I will make a massive assumption and say most of the people contacting you as a Dom are likely fans of kinkcom porn and think having a sub equates to having a sex slave.
"
I don't think it's a massive assumption at all. I think it it's pretty succinct. When you see comments on profiles like "looking for subs", it makes you wonder what any poor unfortunate is in for who goes along with it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wanted to add, I'm not looking for a Sub (or a Dom for that matter) I ask because I repeatedly get messages from guys automatically assuming I will submit to them. I wondered if there was a process I didn't know about that could be the reason. "
No I just think it’s another ploy used by some men on here to access free sex. Especially some of the younger men who have no chance with an older woman because they don’t have the charm and personality to woo them.
Genuine Dom’s on here are usually quite discrete on their profiles as they prefer to do the hunting and will spend a long time talking to you before you get to meet.
However any female Dommes on here are welcome to message me |
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We have had a number of submissive women (none of late of course)
We look for subtle signs in profiles if they are not obvious, however we try and keep our profile obvious
Our biggest challenge is finding a submissive that is younger than us, but does not show a real bratty side. Cheeky can be fun, but brat is frustrating!
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"We have had a number of submissive women (none of late of course)
We look for subtle signs in profiles if they are not obvious, however we try and keep our profile obvious
Our biggest challenge is finding a submissive that is younger than us, but does not show a real bratty side. Cheeky can be fun, but brat is frustrating!
"
Finding a woman who respects the journey and loves the experience is a joy for all. We get to really grow and develop their submissive side, and push all the boundaries that they wish to explore |
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"We have had a number of submissive women (none of late of course)
We look for subtle signs in profiles if they are not obvious, however we try and keep our profile obvious
Our biggest challenge is finding a submissive that is younger than us, but does not show a real bratty side. Cheeky can be fun, but brat is frustrating!
Finding a woman who respects the journey and loves the experience is a joy for all. We get to really grow and develop their submissive side, and push all the boundaries that they wish to explore"
Is ok if i ask you what are for the tools you have in one of your pictures |
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure "
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum |
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"The tools are sounding rods for inserting into the urethra"
Exactly right, one of many many toys which go from the ensure to the more intense end of pain. We don’t particularly enjoy any one thing, we love being able to help a submissive to explore in almost all ways!
Although we do enjoy rope quite a bit  |
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum "
They certainly can be good fun! We do love edging in all kinds of ways. With the right orgasm control training, it is even possible to teach a woman to cum on verbal command (this does of course take commitment from both sides). But great fun, to be in a public place, lean in close and whisper in her ear softly “cum for me”, and feel her body twitch! That has to be one of the most dominating experiences! |
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Actually think it is more in your choice of photo poses and specific language used, I think proper subs give little signs that perhaps they are not even aware of.
Not saying you are sub, but my approach and signals |
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum
They certainly can be good fun! We do love edging in all kinds of ways. With the right orgasm control training, it is even possible to teach a woman to cum on verbal command (this does of course take commitment from both sides). But great fun, to be in a public place, lean in close and whisper in her ear softly “cum for me”, and feel her body twitch! That has to be one of the most dominating experiences!"
It's a shame you don't dominate tgirls as I'd be front of the queue lol x omg I wish that was possible, vibrating butt plug, cock in cage, and just sit there in a publoc place and be made to orgasm would be totally gorgeous! X |
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum
T-girls are not a no, we have dominated them in clubs before. It is just not a preference for us in the longer term space. That said, a really convincing T-girl could be considered as we both love the female form, but Mr also enjoys receiving, so the right T-girl/trans (apologies as not familiar with the correct terminology in this space) could be fun
They certainly can be good fun! We do love edging in all kinds of ways. With the right orgasm control training, it is even possible to teach a woman to cum on verbal command (this does of course take commitment from both sides). But great fun, to be in a public place, lean in close and whisper in her ear softly “cum for me”, and feel her body twitch! That has to be one of the most dominating experiences!
It's a shame you don't dominate tgirls as I'd be front of the queue lol x omg I wish that was possible, vibrating butt plug, cock in cage, and just sit there in a publoc place and be made to orgasm would be totally gorgeous! X"
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum
They certainly can be good fun! We do love edging in all kinds of ways. With the right orgasm control training, it is even possible to teach a woman to cum on verbal command (this does of course take commitment from both sides). But great fun, to be in a public place, lean in close and whisper in her ear softly “cum for me”, and feel her body twitch! That has to be one of the most dominating experiences!"
Wow , sounds almost tantric controlled |
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"Actually think it is more in your choice of photo poses and specific language used, I think proper subs give little signs that perhaps they are not even aware of.
Not saying you are sub, but my approach and signals"
Totally agree! Kind of fun looking for those hints |
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"sorry if i sound too naive , inserting that tools in the uterus brings feeling in other words pleasure
It seriously is one sexy experience x first time a guy did this to me I was half on edge because of the sheer feeling and half shitting myself incase it hurt x it didn't hurt at all x he had me gasping, begging to cum
They certainly can be good fun! We do love edging in all kinds of ways. With the right orgasm control training, it is even possible to teach a woman to cum on verbal command (this does of course take commitment from both sides). But great fun, to be in a public place, lean in close and whisper in her ear softly “cum for me”, and feel her body twitch! That has to be one of the most dominating experiences!
Wow , sounds almost tantric controlled "
Guess it kind of is. Mr has done it to a number of women as well as myself. It can be such a teasing experience when he catches me unprepared, but that can be the best!
We are looking forward to a new recruit and training her in these arts, the control of an orgasm is so much fun, but to be able to do it in public whenever we choose, even over the phone, amazing
Just need the right submissive (applications welcome - younger than us ideally, non bratty a must)
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"Its nigh on impossible to find a real Dom on here. I've also often found that the conversation changes from me being the sub to them being the sub"
Yeah, but remember that to be a good sim, you need to be able to empathise with your submissive, to understand how your actions truly impact them. As a dominant couple, we explore this side together only, and dominate all others together. We feel it makes us better dominants to know how toys feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience it is all in the suggestive. I will chat to anyone, male or female, predominantly female, once you start chatting you get to drop little things in, which can lead to a submissive nature being displayed, like the male taking charge, pushing the female up against a wall. From here you can start to bring the submissive out. It is not a given, but I believe there is a sub in us all, you hust need to be open minded.  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Control not in charge! "
Depends what you mean by control.
It is called power exchange for a reason, so both parties can end any play or dynamic and it doesn’t just sit with the submissive which is what a lot of people think.
However, within agreed boundaries the Dominant partner is meant to be in control, otherwise you risk topping from the bottom.
But there is no one true way, and what ever works for you is the best dynamic. |
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"Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?! "
It is scary how many women we have spoken too and they though they had been with a Dom, but really they had been abused and taken advantage of. The title Dom is earned, but more often is used in an attempt to legitimise abuse. 50 shades has a great deal to answer for!
A submissive must submit to us of her own free will, which is something we have to earn, by Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication.
Submission taken is abuse in our eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?!
It is scary how many women we have spoken too and they though they had been with a Dom, but really they had been abused and taken advantage of. The title Dom is earned, but more often is used in an attempt to legitimise abuse. 50 shades has a great deal to answer for!
A submissive must submit to us of her own free will, which is something
Submission taken is abuse in our eyes"
Could not have put it better. Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication is key.me and my partner have that. I totally trust him. He pushes my boundries but still takes care that the pain is pleadurable. I have been hurt badly by a so called dom many years before i met john. It was basically abuse. It took a long time before i trusted john, but my trust is well placed. Jen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?!
It is scary how many women we have spoken too and they though they had been with a Dom, but really they had been abused and taken advantage of. The title Dom is earned, but more often is used in an attempt to legitimise abuse. 50 shades has a great deal to answer for!
A submissive must submit to us of her own free will, which is something we have to earn, by Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication.
Submission taken is abuse in our eyes"
It should be 2 consenting adults, with pre agreed parameters. In actual fact, it is really the sub with the power, when you think about it. Its about desire and pushing ones boundaries, on both sides |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?!
It is scary how many women we have spoken too and they though they had been with a Dom, but really they had been abused and taken advantage of. The title Dom is earned, but more often is used in an attempt to legitimise abuse. 50 shades has a great deal to answer for!
A submissive must submit to us of her own free will, which is something we have to earn, by Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication.
Submission taken is abuse in our eyes
It should be 2 consenting adults, with pre agreed parameters. In actual fact, it is really the sub with the power, when you think about it. Its about desire and pushing ones boundaries, on both sides"
Depends. I prefer a power play between us, sometimes i want to play the bratty sub and forcing him to put me in my place. Other times i just want to be the totally submissive slut with whom he does what he pleases. There are no wrong or write plays in the dom/sub dynamic sinario plays. Each dom/sub cpl will have their own sinarios to play out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Control not in charge!
Depends what you mean by control.
It is called power exchange for a reason, so both parties can end any play or dynamic and it doesn’t just sit with the submissive which is what a lot of people think.
However, within agreed boundaries the Dominant partner is meant to be in control, otherwise you risk topping from the bottom.
But there is no one true way, and what ever works for you is the best dynamic."
Agree. It is what ever works for you both. Most of the time i like hard play, then some times i like sensory play only. Depends on my mood. Jen |
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"Suprising how many guys say they are dom but do not have a clue. Some just use that heading to meet us submissive women and then thinking just hard abuse on her is being dom. My man takes me to another level in our play. Also shows lack of understanding when the so called doms think they are in charge?!
It is scary how many women we have spoken too and they though they had been with a Dom, but really they had been abused and taken advantage of. The title Dom is earned, but more often is used in an attempt to legitimise abuse. 50 shades has a great deal to answer for!
A submissive must submit to us of her own free will, which is something we have to earn, by Trust, Honesty, Respect and Communication.
Submission taken is abuse in our eyes"
I been into dom/sub scenario few times, i never felt unsafe in both hands dom or mistress , the limits was always discussed before the sessions and always respected .
My last time was in Pandora club was just a short session envolving a quite well know dom and other women's and man present in the club at the time .
Is very important that all boundaries and limits are discussed and very important the Dom or Mistress are people who one can trust , they are know for their work and they can be trusted .
The dynamic between dom and sub is based in trust, honesty and respect always
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