"What’s in it for her? What are your expectations? Your preferred dynamic? Experience? These are things she’s want to know."
Terms and conditions to be discussed and negotiated. I'd like her to dress nicely like the nice lingerie you wear in your pics. She does not have to be so experienced, so like as she likes to please, likes cock, likes to tease and play with a cock. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What’s in it for her? What are your expectations? Your preferred dynamic? Experience? These are things she’s want to know.
Terms and conditions to be discussed and negotiated. I'd like her to dress nicely like the nice lingerie you wear in your pics. She does not have to be so experienced, so like as she likes to please, likes cock, likes to tease and play with a cock. "
I meant your experience. Looking for inexperienced subs is rarely a good look. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To be fair I think subs are all female. Every time a sub is launched they always say God bless her and all who sail in her before fore cracking her on the nose with a bottle of champagne tied to a string. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dirty female sub wanted to make me happy. Please get in touch if you think this is you x"
I think that is what most of the guys on here are looking for m8. You will have to get to the back of the queue lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To be fair I think subs are all female. Every time a sub is launched they always say God bless her and all who sail in her before fore cracking her on the nose with a bottle of champagne tied to a string."
True and they only work well if full of seamen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dirty female sub wanted to make me happy. Please get in touch if you think this is you x"
You don't just advertise for a sub like this. You need to do a lot more work and cultivate and nurture the relationship. And remember, there's a lot more to it than just having someone as a personal sex slave.
Crass... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dirty female sub wanted to make me happy. Please get in touch if you think this is you x
You don't just advertise for a sub like this. You need to do a lot more work and cultivate and nurture the relationship. And remember, there's a lot more to it than just having someone as a personal sex slave.
Crass..."
Green arrow and all will make sense  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dirty female sub wanted to make me happy. Please get in touch if you think this is you x
You don't just advertise for a sub like this. You need to do a lot more work and cultivate and nurture the relationship. And remember, there's a lot more to it than just having someone as a personal sex slave.
Crass..."
But as long as she “likes to please, likes cock, likes to tease and play with a cock“ I’m sure it’ll be fine  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dirty female sub wanted to make me happy. Please get in touch if you think this is you x
You don't just advertise for a sub like this. You need to do a lot more work and cultivate and nurture the relationship. And remember, there's a lot more to it than just having someone as a personal sex slave.
Crass...
Green arrow and all will make sense "
Oh dear. I hadn’t even bothered after reading his profile and seeing he “feels he could fit the dom or sub role”. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Sorry OP but the "wanted to make me happy" line would be an instant red flag for me, and any other submissive that is informed and knowledgeable, and many that aren't.
D/s is of course negotiable and there is no single "right" way to it other than the way agreed between two (or more) people - but starting out with the expectation that the submissive is there purely to please you as the dominant is definitely a wrong way.
Submissives will want to know a little about your experience and particular preferences and style, along with your expectations of both them and yourself, before even considering negotiating with you, let alone entering into a physical arrangement - perhaps you could use your profile to demonstrate some of that?
Either way it really isn't simply a case of asking for a submissive and one appearing like a genie from a lamp. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry OP but the "wanted to make me happy" line would be an instant red flag for me, and any other submissive that is informed and knowledgeable, and many that aren't.
D/s is of course negotiable and there is no single "right" way to it other than the way agreed between two (or more) people - but starting out with the expectation that the submissive is there purely to please you as the dominant is definitely a wrong way.
Submissives will want to know a little about your experience and particular preferences and style, along with your expectations of both them and yourself, before even considering negotiating with you, let alone entering into a physical arrangement - perhaps you could use your profile to demonstrate some of that?
Either way it really isn't simply a case of asking for a submissive and one appearing like a genie from a lamp."
This!
I'm never going to call myself a 'Dom' however i play the role often.
In doing so it's my responsibility to build trust, put the Sub in a place where they're comfortable handing control to me. Then I have to respond the them, push but not harm, keep safe, do what needs to be done to put them in that headspace they crave. Then care for and sooth during the comedown.
Truth be told, it's all about them and what you can do for them.
Not sure what OP is looking for but it's not that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sorry OP but the "wanted to make me happy" line would be an instant red flag for me, and any other submissive that is informed and knowledgeable, and many that aren't.
D/s is of course negotiable and there is no single "right" way to it other than the way agreed between two (or more) people - but starting out with the expectation that the submissive is there purely to please you as the dominant is definitely a wrong way.
Submissives will want to know a little about your experience and particular preferences and style, along with your expectations of both them and yourself, before even considering negotiating with you, let alone entering into a physical arrangement - perhaps you could use your profile to demonstrate some of that?
Either way it really isn't simply a case of asking for a submissive and one appearing like a genie from a lamp.
This!
I'm never going to call myself a 'Dom' however i play the role often.
In doing so it's my responsibility to build trust, put the Sub in a place where they're comfortable handing control to me. Then I have to respond the them, push but not harm, keep safe, do what needs to be done to put them in that headspace they crave. Then care for and sooth during the comedown.
Truth be told, it's all about them and what you can do for them.
Not sure what OP is looking for but it's not that. "
Someone to tease and play with his cock. Excuse me while the very thought sends me to subspace. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
"
Someone to tease and play with his cock. Excuse me while the very thought sends me to subspace."
There have been a couple of good replies on this thread, but maybe asking a 'Dom' if he knows what subspace is might be a good filter? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Some great replies and advice guys thankyou. I clearly have a lot to learn, I've googled "subspace" and learnt a new term there for starters. Perhaps a sub willing to learn and experiment along the way is someone I need. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Some great replies and advice guys thankyou. I clearly have a lot to learn, I've googled "subspace" and learnt a new term there for starters. Perhaps a sub willing to learn and experiment along the way is someone I need. "
I think you probably need someone experienced actually. If neither of you has any experience, it’s all too easy for it to go very wrong. But it’ll be much harder to find an experienced sub who doesn’t mind being practiced on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some great replies and advice guys thankyou. I clearly have a lot to learn, I've googled "subspace" and learnt a new term there for starters. Perhaps a sub willing to learn and experiment along the way is someone I need. "
You need to do your research carefully and deeply. Being inexperienced can be dangerous, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Do not expect to be called Sir the moment you talk to someone. I've been talking to a guy for two weeks and we're still not at the agreement stage. We're talking about dynamics, what we both think we want and need from it, what we both feel we can bring to a D/s relationship, limits, expectations, loves, likes. Will it be a full time thing or just at certain times? Even sharing pictures that get us hot under the collar. As well as finding out about each other in our every day lives.
If you don't realise all of this, you're not ready to be a Dom and any lady would be silly to agree to be your sub.
Get researching and talking to other established Doms and subs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OP if you truly want to learn about the D/s lifestyle can I make a few suggestions?
Firstly take a giant leap backwards and put any notion of finding a submissive out of your head for the time being - it's important that anyone (dominant or submissive) is as informed and knowledgeable as possible before even considering playing in that dynamic.
Next up, read, read and then read some more - find out as much as you can about the lifestyle and then when you think you have read enough, read some more - there are some excellent books out there to help you "Screw The Rose's Bring Me The Thorns" and "SM101" to name but two, there are also some excellent blogs.
Put any preconceived ideas formed through porn or things like 50 Shades out of your head too - they can give an idea but reality is D/s is quite dark removed from them.
Look out sites that cater to D/s and get involved, once the craziness of COVID is over look for "munches" which are socials for the kink world to attend.
Look out on-line BDSM questionnaires which will help you get an idea of the type of dominant you think you might be.
Once you have done all that don't immediately think you're a dominant, take your time to use what you have learned to build a profile on-line or off as to the type of dominant you think you are and be prepared to talk to people openly and honestly without any expectations.
Feel your way into it, don't dive in feet first,because that way lies danger, for you and any potential play partners.
A D/s relationship is built on mutual trust, respect and agreement and is NOT *just* about one pleasing the other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I obviously have a lot to learn on this subject. "
And nothing wrong with that - accepting and acknowledging you do is the first step in the process, actually taking heed and doing something about it is the next step |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
