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Bad meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone ever had a meet that was so bad it made you question wanting anymore ?
I've had a few meets from here but had one on tue night and it was a disaster .
The couple I met needed dutch courage (bottle of vodka) and then they kept whispering and passing messages thro each other and then the Mr suddenly thought he was a Dom and I was a sub !! He started to get jealous and angry she was reaching the heights he had never taken her too , it was nuts , so much so I lost my hard on at one stage :0
I always make a point of telling my meets I'm lookin for nice people who are chilled but these two slipped through the net and although I do love my meets, it has seriously made me think about having anymore .
Has anyone has similar experiences ? Ta |
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Yeah it was are first meet a couple from another site let's just say wasn't the best lol you live and learn plus he was more than happy to fuck bex but didn't like me returning the favour to his wife and after we'd done cheeky twat said it's a long way to come for a fuck and was textin bex behind his wife's back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you were closer, I'd change your mind   "
And I'd be very happy to help you
I had a horrendously scary meet but I chalked it up to experience and, thankfully, I've met more nice people than scary ones by far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That sounds pretty awful. Fortunately, I have only really met nice people and the worst I've had is politely saying no upon meeting as they didn't live up to their pics etc! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's very ironic seen as I'm from the Highlands
Are you coming home anytime soon? "
Think I'll be up in August for some of the highland games 
I am an open minded guy and I know not every meet is going to be fantastic and I honestly never ever thought anyone could dent my confidence with meets but they just put me right off , so much so I have blocked all men from messaging me , I wasnt looking to meet men but now I'm not even wanting to communicate with them .
It was prob a one off or I should check them out more (they did have no verifications) but , well I honestly just don't know !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have had 2 meets where it was obvious that one partner wasnt really that willing. on one it was the hubby and the other , the wife.
on both occasions i stopped playing, sat back and chatted to them about making sure they were sure it was what they wanted. it was almost a counselling session in the end. one couple actually thanked me and i have seen them since and they tell me their relationship is better and decided swinging wasnt for them.
the other one, where the hubby was pushing for it, sent me a message calling me a timewaster and had a real go at me. i have since found out they split up not long after and he shacked up with another woman within 2 weeks and was on here with a couples profile with the new woman.
hasnt affected me though, still up for meets.. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
All you can do is learn from the experience and whilst I don't put to much thought into other people's meets, they can sometimes give you an idea of the type of person you might be meeting.
Just chalk it up to experience and maybe have a bit more caution in the future, but don't let it put you off completely, we all have times when we doubt ourselves and our selection process but head up and onwards and upwards (no pun intended) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have had a few lol we think we should write a book,a couple who claimed they had just turned fifty and we turned up to find two 65 plus year olds,a couple where she had to be completely over the top or her husband would slap her when she got home and several talkers who shoot their bolt in 30 seconds flat lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I think just taking more time before jumping into a meet makes sense and it'll have to go down as a lesson learned .
I guess it was more of a shock that I fel uncomfortable as I can handle most situations and still be relaxed but it was like he was super high or something , I mean he grabbed my legs and pulled me down the bed , at that point I was thinking it was going to get ugly but I kept my cool and he only for a warning , whereas he maybe should of go a slap.
I explained before I met them I was there to play with her and he was like , yeah that's what we want . Yeah ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes just learn from it and I hope this won't deter you from enjoying your swinging life.
Maybe you should have pulled out (the meet I mean lol) when you realised they were d*unk and exchanged all these silly messages? It seems from your post that this didn't make you comfortable so just go with your gut and get out. |
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"i have had 2 meets where it was obvious that one partner wasnt really that willing. on one it was the hubby and the other , the wife.
on both occasions i stopped playing, sat back and chatted to them about making sure they were sure it was what they wanted. it was almost a counselling session in the end. one couple actually thanked me and i have seen them since and they tell me their relationship is better and decided swinging wasnt for them.
the other one, where the hubby was pushing for it, sent me a message calling me a timewaster and had a real go at me. i have since found out they split up not long after and he shacked up with another woman within 2 weeks and was on here with a couples profile with the new woman.
hasnt affected me though, still up for meets.."
every chance i know who that is as we have been contacted by a similar couple.
not really had a bad meet, per se, but the lack of, for want of a better word, excitement from meeting, we have been considering for a little while whether its for us annyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"yes just learn from it and I hope this won't deter you from enjoying your swinging life.
Maybe you should have pulled out (the meet I mean lol) when you realised they were d*unk and exchanged all these silly messages? It seems from your post that this didn't make you comfortable so just go with your gut and get out. "
Yeah 1st rule should always be go with the gut but my hormones had other ideas but live and learn and maybe just have a wee break from the meets
Thanks for all your comments x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had a few meets that have made me question wether i wanted to carry on doing this
I think my worse meet ever off here was a guy i met for a drink, he seemed very nice, we didnt play first meet as he said he was busy but passing thro so would be nice to just meet for a drink see how we get on for another time
Anyway we did get on and arranged another meet, he booked a hotel and gave me the address, he said when i got there to text him and he'd come meet me outside
So i did, got there and text him, i got a call saying he'd just got out the shower, gave me the room number, he said to come up he'd leave the door on the latch so to just come in, not something i would usually do but because i had already met him i did
When i got to the room the door was slightly open so i knocked and walked in to find 8 turkish guys waiting for me
Turns out he had charged them all £50 to come gang bang me, he had turned up half hour before he'd aranged to meet me, took their money and fooked off, lead me there like a lamb to the slaughter and left me to deal with them all on my own
I did seriously doubt swinging after that
He seemed so nice, got on really well when we met for a drink, had been texting me for a couple of days before the second meet asking what drink id like him to get in, even told me what under wear he liked etc, he seemed so genuine
people say meet socially first to get to know people but if people you have met do things like that who do you trust?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fuck that shocking !!
How could he put you in that situation ?
He could of told that guys you had a rape fantasy or the likes and you could of been in real trouble .
Who can you trust ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fortunately not had any bad meets so far and being über cautious now I'm on here as a single fem. Thinking of sticking to clubs/group situations and a smaller circle of regular meets to try and avoid those that give swinging a bad name x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yup, a few memorable meets for the wrong reasons, and dented my enthusiasm.
However, the good ones restored my faith.
"
ive met so many nice, decent guys off here i refuse to let the odd bad one put me off |
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we had a particularly bad one, got to the premises of the cpl who were holding the party, we walked into the main room, found the wife with a needle in her arm, wow, on the way out we bumped into a cpl with the wife clearly not wanting any bit of the swinging scene, glad we left, can only imagine what the party was like  |
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Only one that actually made me think about stopping...
At a party one night, about 10 people... The male half of one of the couples kept trying to bareback with me... He was told in no uncertain terms no... (if it had been my party he'd have been removed there and then) .. I stayed away from him after that... But a while later he was about to shag one of the other girls doggy.... I had a look, saw that he DID have a condom on..... About a minute later he's sneakily removed the condom and continuing to shag her! .... Lowest of the low IMO... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I had a look, saw that he DID have a condom on..... About a minute later he's sneakily removed the condom and continuing to shag her! .... Lowest of the low IMO..."
i've had that a few times
Theres been a few times i've been playing with a guy and as i've moved to change position the 'condom must have fell off' 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had an awful meet!!! I was devastated, to be honest I wanted to pack it in but some good friends on this site said some really nice things and here we stay!!! Don't let it put you off, just take a few days to let the dust settle and then build up slowly again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear about your bad meet. There are some really weird people out there for sure!!
Had a few weird, bad experiences myself when i was a single fem. It did put me off, and like others have said, I too have had several breaks from the scene.
The best advice I can pass on, is to take a break for a little while. I found this gave me chance to put the experiences into perspective, and not let them upset me so much.
And to always meet up for a drink before playing. That way you get time to work out if the couple are pissed/psyco/not up for it, before hand.
I know this doesnt all bad experiences out, but it might give you better odds of a good meet.
I must admit, ive had to tell myself to not take any of this swinging stuff seriously, and to see the funny side. Otherwise it can get to you
That said, some of the stories that forumites have posted above sound terrible, and im very lucky i havent had anything that bad happen. (sorry they did!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we had a couple of bad meets in a row, and it did stop us swinging for a short while, but we are back and just alot more careful in our selection of people, havnt had a bad one yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have had a few "bad, odd, strange" meets - all of which have some very funny stories attached to em ..................... like the coffee meet where I was met by a dwarf and not a six foot strapping hunk ........... now that one took all my resolve to not run screaming up the road ................. I could go on but peeps will be spitting tea and coffee over their keyboards and it wouldnt be good ........... ps I still am a glutton for punishment and meet ................. u dont get rid of me that easily .......... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The worst I had as a guy who didnt even manage to get it in before he came and then was done!!!
Not even any finger or oral fun for me!!
Oh and from another site one guy grabbed me in a car park as I was getting in my car after I had said no thanks but he got a fist in his balls for his trouble and I had the satisfaction of seeing him limp away. Sexual assault! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was seriously considering not having anymore meets but after the advice I've had and hearing of others experiences I think I just have to put it down to experience and learn from it, well that and the fact my hormones are at boiling point ha ha |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I was seriously considering not having anymore meets but after the advice I've had and hearing of others experiences I think I just have to put it down to experience and learn from it"
Exactly....Put it behind you and use the experience as a learning curve.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was seriously considering not having anymore meets but after the advice I've had and hearing of others experiences I think I just have to put it down to experience and learn from it, well that and the fact my hormones are at boiling point ha ha "
What you have to do is weight up the bad meets against the good ones
Ive had a few bad ones, some of which have serioulsy made me wonder wether this is worth it, some of which just make me re think my way of meeting, but i have had many many good meets
When the bad meets out weigh the good ones thats when you stop
I probably had a hand full of really bad meets in 11 years where as ive had hundreds of goods ones so to me its not at the point its worth stopping for yet
As you said put it down to experience and learn by your mistakes, your next meet could be with me then think how gutted you would have been if you packed up lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone ever had a meet that was so bad it made you question wanting anymore ?
I've had a few meets from here but had one on tue night and it was a disaster .
The couple I met needed dutch courage (bottle of vodka) and then they kept whispering and passing messages thro each other and then the Mr suddenly thought he was a Dom and I was a sub !! He started to get jealous and angry she was reaching the heights he had never taken her too , it was nuts , so much so I lost my hard on at one stage :0
I always make a point of telling my meets I'm lookin for nice people who are chilled but these two slipped through the net and although I do love my meets, it has seriously made me think about having anymore .
Has anyone has similar experiences ? Ta "
Should have pimp slapped him with your dyno rod.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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not plucked up the courage to meet couples yet. seems a little to complicated to me.
but I have had one awful single guy meet from here. I ended up feeling very dirty and used (and not in a good way). very nearly stopped me meeting anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't use the word worst, but the poorest meet I've had was with a couple, and haven't met another since and I'm in no hurry to do so again! It was years ago and probably my first swinging experience.
When I got there, I was told that I wasn't allowed to kiss his partner. When he removed his trousers, he was wearing shorts type underpants, and there was a big chunk torn out of one of the legs! To be honest, the sex was pretty cold and mechanical, although she was willing I got the impression that she was doing it to please him! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I hope you've reported this to admin as that kind of aggressive behaviour gives swinging a bad name. There was a similar scenario described a few months back -can't remember the location so don't know if it's the same couple or not. Sorry to hear you had a bad experience and hope you're ok. |
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I think most of us who have been around for some time have had potential and actual meet experiences that have knocked us somewhat.
It sounds like yours, similarly to experience I've had, has possibly been about how the partners have been filtered. Preparation and screening is everything really, so that you get as full a feel as possible to who they are, what they're after as well as set up some guidelines/rules for how the meet will go. Sometimes this means more time before a meet happens, but not always.
If there's anything from the meet that could be summarised as totally unwanted into your profile, that may help deter those who fit that bill too. Whilst people don't overall like negative profiles, just adding in a little something that might hijack their interest and deter them, could be useful. Atm, you and your profile comes across well, so it wouldn't likely show anything other than that you're in charge of yourself and know what you want.
Take the time out that you need, and possibly have your next meet with some people that are fantastic, so there's a good positive experience to contrast with this last one. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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our worst meet was last week, after promises of a night to remember and swapping pics and chatting on fone, we thaught we were in 4 a gr8 night,
only to have to have the female of the group ask us why we wanted to swing and that she thaught it was dirty (hoping she ment good dirty) the night progressed .....
we got down to playing, myself and the male of the couple were having fun when i looked over my guy was left alone??? i asked what was up,,, and would she like us all 2 stop to which she said no she just wanted 2 watch, needless to say we were very annoyed and stopped play immediately  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not had a bad meet on here (had a bad aftermath to one, sadly) but we're on here as a couple. Before Perky and I met, I was on another site as a single guy, and had a couple of meets there which made me wonder what the hell I was doing. The only thing you can do is what a pilot has to do after his plane has crashed (assuming he's able to!) and get into a plane and fly. Fortunately, I already had a further meet arranged after the first one went bad (she was one f***in psycho!!) and went straight into it. That one went great and breathed a sigh of relief.... 
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of my first meets was a disaster picked the lad up took us ages to find somewhere quiet to park up, sucked his cock for like less than 3 minutes before he came in my mouth, then cheeky little shit ooo I'm done now can you take me home I'm sorry, needless to say threw him out the car, went home less than happy hadn't even got my tongue pierced on that meet lol, luckily the next meet a couple of days later was very very talented and introduced me to the fact I do gush after all, but luckily not had anything that bad happen again since |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I've had a couple -
one that winced and flintched away every time I got my hand within an inch of her
the second a couple in which the straight guy grabbed my cock! - when i shrugged him off he said 'i was checking the girth'!
Both times they came up with bulshit saying i was cocky and too demandimg, both times i walked out on them, though both times also it made mE question what id done.
I came up a blank as I didnt get chance to do anything, but it is off putting yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone once where I had been giving them anal then all of a sudden I smelt this almighty stench, it almost made me vomit.
They turned the main light on and had erm... 'leaked' on me.
That completely turned me off so I pretty much left after that. I was obviously wearing a condom so it was only the base of my cock that got 'wet' 
But that wasn't all, I later found out I had contracted an STI from them. I'm pretty sure it was them as they were the last person I had been with and before them I hadn't been with anyone for a while.
This really made me question whether I should bother as I must have contracted it during oral sex.
Even when people say they are clean, now I always have that niggling thought in the back of my mind as you really just don't know.
Most people think that they're safe as long as they wear a condom, but they ignore that there is still a risk during oral sex as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met someone once where I had been giving them anal then all of a sudden I smelt this almighty stench, it almost made me vomit.
They turned the main light on and had erm... 'leaked' on me.
That completely turned me off so I pretty much left after that. I was obviously wearing a condom so it was only the base of my cock that got 'wet'
But that wasn't all, I later found out I had contracted an STI from them. I'm pretty sure it was them as they were the last person I had been with and before them I hadn't been with anyone for a while.
This really made me question whether I should bother as I must have contracted it during oral sex.
Even when people say they are clean, now I always have that niggling thought in the back of my mind as you really just don't know.
Most people think that they're safe as long as they wear a condom, but they ignore that there is still a risk during oral sex as well."
you win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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few months ago, we got in contact with a couple from this site and chatted over the cam. Later, we agreed for a meet and we booked at a posh hotel in central london (cost to be shared. On the day of the meet, room bell rang and there he was standing all alone with an excuse that his Mrs didnt come because she started her periods this morning and he is quite keen to play with us.. we told him that we dont play with men alone, he then become very abusive and left the room saying, "thats why we dont play with f***in asians". Not to mention, he didnt event pay their share for the room..
Next day, when we checked their profile was hidden and off from the site..
great lesson learnt.. |
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I think it's fair to say that with the diversity of people, be it singles or couples, we all find what works for each of us. Sometimes it makes a "bad" experience to make you realise what makes a good experience, however not something we would recommend, we just think it happens at some point for everyone ( and if it's a bad experience for you, it probably is a bad experience for the other interested parties too! ). All you can do is set yourself some personal filters, a rushed meet was our downfall, so you learn from your mistakes. |
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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago
oldbury |
We had one with a couple who seemed normal and sane we met a few times then she went a bit bonkers and told me she had been seeing my Sir for last year behind her mans back and that I had made her want to kill herself seeing him with me. Her partner then turned up on my doorstep telling me she was knocking him about. They were both nuts as we don't know why they tried to drag us in to their problems. She wasn't seeing Sir before any one asks they then proceeded to slag us off to anyone who listened and send hateful texts to us. We haven't seen them in 10 months until in a club this week they were chatting to a couple we have spoken to a few times and as we walked past said very loudly avoid them they are crazy and wreck homes and are so not what they claim to be. This made me want to hit them and leave the club but on reflection now they just showed themselves up don't let bad people ruin your experience |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"I met a guy a few weeks back, and when he turned up be bought 2 of his mates with him lol
not so much as bad meet as a bloody cheeky one "
I had that a few months ago, but the guy did text me to say could his mate come along so I had a quick look n said yeah, then 10 mins later another text, another mate - bloody great meet that, got something ticked off my bucket list that evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not so much a bad meet, more of a very bad experience following a lot of meets. Met the same single guy for around five years, he started to get very pushy, rude, telling lies etc, and decided to call it a day with him, only for him to decide it would be fun to try and blackmail us (well, blackmail Mrs NWC). Totally put us off meeting anyone now, confidence just vanished and dont feel like we can trust anyone anymore. He blocked on here and anyone we see that he has verified is also blocked, just can't take the risk of him knowing anything about us, although we did inform the police and got some really good advice on how we could take it further if he contacted us again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not so much a bad meet, more of a very bad experience following a lot of meets. Met the same single guy for around five years, he started to get very pushy, rude, telling lies etc, and decided to call it a day with him, only for him to decide it would be fun to try and blackmail us (well, blackmail Mrs NWC). Totally put us off meeting anyone now, confidence just vanished and dont feel like we can trust anyone anymore. He blocked on here and anyone we see that he has verified is also blocked, just can't take the risk of him knowing anything about us, although we did inform the police and got some really good advice on how we could take it further if he contacted us again "
Begs the question why you didn't shut down this profile, keep your friend details, start a new one and get them to re-verify - obviously leaving behind any links to him..... much safer I would have thought...??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not so much a bad meet, more of a very bad experience following a lot of meets. Met the same single guy for around five years, he started to get very pushy, rude, telling lies etc, and decided to call it a day with him, only for him to decide it would be fun to try and blackmail us (well, blackmail Mrs NWC). Totally put us off meeting anyone now, confidence just vanished and dont feel like we can trust anyone anymore. He blocked on here and anyone we see that he has verified is also blocked, just can't take the risk of him knowing anything about us, although we did inform the police and got some really good advice on how we could take it further if he contacted us again
Begs the question why you didn't shut down this profile, keep your friend details, start a new one and get them to re-verify - obviously leaving behind any links to him..... much safer I would have thought...??
"
No need to shut the profile down as we are no longer swinging, just chatting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few horrendous meets which have put me off for months at a time. Even now my confidence and ability to trust is wobbly.
It's partly my own judgment that's the problem. I do seem to go for total arseholes and tossers. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
As it happened I had recently been taken off the pill for medical reasons and was waiting for a consultant to fit a coil (I'm tricky) so it was just condoms. His response "I'll look after any child that has my DNA" 