FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you have a regular safe word?
Do you have a regular safe word?
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By *edheadj OP Man
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
Just seen on social media (not sure if we are allowed to mention other sites) that the three most common safe words when playing are 'banana', 'pineapple' and 'red'.
It got me wondering, do you have a safe word you use regularly when playing?
We've used 'sprout' as a safe word a few times, only because we both dislike sprouts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always insist that playmates who agree to submit to me on a BDSM play date choose their own safe word. Likewise, if I decide to switch, I always choose my own safe word as well. |
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I only ever use Red.
It's important to choose a safe word that you can remember too or know your partner well enough that you can recognise when they've forgotten it because they're so spaced that their brain has temporarily turned to mush and they have become non verbal. |
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"I'm very lazy, red and yellow "
Always good for someone your not too sure how far to go or how hard to play, you can talk pre scene all you like put everyone has different opinions of what hard is. The traffic light system works well too I find.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop...
Yes. Stop means stop."
It's not a secret word - the safeword is agreed before any scene or play, and makes for an explicit withdrawal of consent in play where "stop" may be an involuntary reaction or part of the scene. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
We have used all sorts, countries, fruits, places but these days unless they have their own verbal safewords we stick to the traffic light system of Red and Amber.
Anything that requires an element of thought instead of an immediate reaction is just too risky.
But each to their own.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only ever use Red.
It's important to choose a safe word that you can remember too or know your partner well enough that you can recognise when they've forgotten it because they're so spaced that their brain has temporarily turned to mush and they have become non verbal."
Another one for Red here. And totally agree with this |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
In all things it is understanding the sub or bottom with whom you are playing.
The problem with just using "stop" is that some people want to be taken on a journey where their begging and pleading will be ignored. That is why "red" is useful. It means I have hit my limit stop now.
However "red" is a nuclear option that stops play.
I now ask bottoms add "really" so I know they are being serious. So if I hear "stop, really" or "it is painful, really" then I will stop what I am doing or adjust.
Also as a midpoint I replace "amber" with "Mercy " stolen from the Kink site, "Mercy" meaning take it easy, I am not sure about this.
But use of a safe word is no substitute for keeping an eye on the bottom or sub and making your own assessment of how the sub is doing. There is also an obligation on the sub to be honest about how they are feeling and give respectful and appropriate feedback. Kink is a team game. |
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He was a pain to be with so it relates well 
