FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ok I’m curious - is this common with other ladies? :-)

Ok I’m curious - is this common with other ladies? :-)

By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

Hi my lovelies

Not a huge deal as my ego can definitely take it - but do other ladies find that when they get contacted by ‘very’ hot guys - the conversation almost always (but not always) stops once they realise that you’re not going to talk filth with them (though I did tell one how muddy my wellies were after a trip to the park with the pup) or meet them for a shag without a social?

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

Saying that - a chap my own age disappeared after hours of conversation/phone calls once he realised I wouldn’t shag on the first meeting! Generally speaking it’s the young hotties who vanish though!

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep. Tho I find this with a lot of men in general...regardless of how they look.

A lot of guys on here aren't really bothered about meeting, they just want some wanking material...

Won't get it from me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah, I've had a lot of guys looking for a quick fix just wanting immediate sexting, camming, or a meet that night and then disappear when it doesn't happen.

I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

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By *ikkiHbiWoman over a year ago

Cleethorpes

Yes agree with you on this, as soon as they have to work for it they lose interest with the majority thinking it's a site just for sex and not networking and social side of it there are a few good guys out there though but the idiots ruin it for most x

But most must think it goes like

Ooh a stranger just said I'm pretty and said some naught stuff to me I must bend over for them immediately haha jog on lad x

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

You seem to be massively simplifying what swinging is. They just sound like turds.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X"

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

We have found its about 3 messages before they disappear once it is apparent there will be no photos or dirty talk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Swinging isn't instant guaranteed sex with anyone just because you ask! Try a hooker

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Don’t get me wrong lovely - I know the score and I’m not offended - with me it seems to be particularly prevalent amongst very hot guys though - and I’m wondering if other women see a pattern too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

You seem to be massively simplifying what swinging is. They just sound like turds."

Oh 100% I am, but that's why people are on here, swinging. And yes swinging can be social, but not social in the same way as the local social club where people play billiards, bowls and/or darts haha.

You know what I mean?

I'm not saying it's not shallow, just, to be expected really, especially since it's a website for swinging.

Surely we all know what anonymity does to people by now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"We have found its about 3 messages before they disappear once it is apparent there will be no photos or dirty talk."

Now 3 wouldn’t phase me - the only ones who get my goat are the ones who waste many hours chatting. I could have had umpteen porn and wank sessions in that time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Swinging isn't instant guaranteed sex with anyone just because you ask! Try a hooker

Nobody said it was guaranteed, that isn't the point I'm making. The guys walking away when it isn't what they want is proof of that, otherwise they'd complain.

Which some guys do, and they're just dickheads

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happens a lot unfortunately. Some even in their profiles state there not here for the back and forth messaging. I find it very annoying that some people just don’t read the bluddy profile !!!!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's across the ages, not just younger guys, in my experience.

The "Come to my hotel now" guys are generally older tbh.

I just delete and move on. Plenty of decent ones out there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Massive cunt.

Your gorgeous, as I'm sure you're aware, so his loss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Swinging isn't instant guaranteed sex with anyone just because you ask! Try a hooker

Nobody said it was guaranteed, that isn't the point I'm making. The guys walking away when it isn't what they want is proof of that, otherwise they'd complain.

Which some guys do, and they're just dickheads"
10000000%

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By *BR_91Man over a year ago

Leeds

Always find it surprising that people can't be bothered to make the bare minimum effort. I get that it's a swinging site and there might be occasions where you can organise sex instantly, but do people really think it's realistic to expect that to be happening regularly?

Besides, chatting/flirting is all part of it!

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Not had anybody quite that rude - but I’ve had people try to use me when they noticed I had veris from lots of women. Trying to explain to most people that most veris are from friends I DON’T fuck ain’t easy!

Btw - I think you’re very pretty - and in no way should you let yourself be used! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Internet is where people forget about common decency.

That is why everyone is at each others throats on social media.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Swinging isn't instant guaranteed sex with anyone just because you ask! Try a hooker

Nobody said it was guaranteed, that isn't the point I'm making. The guys walking away when it isn't what they want is proof of that, otherwise they'd complain.

Which some guys do, and they're just dickheads"

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Internet is where people forget about common decency.

That is why everyone is at each others throats on social media."

Tbh fab is the only social media I use - and I try to be nice on here too! I get what you mean though - thanks. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Massive cunt.

Your gorgeous, as I'm sure you're aware, so his loss."

Thanks darling xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Internet is where people forget about common decency.

That is why everyone is at each others throats on social media.

Tbh fab is the only social media I use - and I try to be nice on here too! I get what you mean though - thanks. Xx"

Btw, I don't mean to sound like I know the answer haha I was just ranting tbh.

I haven't spent much time in these forums, but already the level of discord is better than Facebook.

Twitter is a cesspool.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah, I've had a lot of guys looking for a quick fix just wanting immediate sexting, camming, or a meet that night and then disappear when it doesn't happen.

I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X"

Just rude and ignorant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Massive cunt.

Your gorgeous, as I'm sure you're aware, so his loss.

Thanks darling xx"

Pleasure is all mine having looked at your profile

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Yes agree with you on this, as soon as they have to work for it they lose interest with the majority thinking it's a site just for sex and not networking and social side of it there are a few good guys out there though but the idiots ruin it for most x

But most must think it goes like

Ooh a stranger just said I'm pretty and said some naught stuff to me I must bend over for them immediately haha jog on lad x"

Now a few years ago I may have just bent over!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah, I've had a lot of guys looking for a quick fix just wanting immediate sexting, camming, or a meet that night and then disappear when it doesn't happen.

I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X"
fucking rude

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple over a year ago

Planet Ork

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

How muddy were the wellies and what breed of pup have you got?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Always find it surprising that people can't be bothered to make the bare minimum effort. I get that it's a swinging site and there might be occasions where you can organise sex instantly, but do people really think it's realistic to expect that to be happening regularly?

Besides, chatting/flirting is all part of it!"

Absolutely, swinging is as much about finding people you get on with and being sociable as it is about sex. Sure, there are times like at a gangbang where anyone can stick it in me no questions asked, but that's a very specific environment and not typical at all. Certainly not for meets. Xx

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By *on_ducor_ducoWoman over a year ago

Rock and a hard place

Was messaging with a rather dishy gentleman yesterday, I made the first move, very selective sorry to say.

All was going well and no talk of sex at all. After about 10 messages, he went quiet and hasn't replied since

Some men are just strange lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Btw - I think you’re very pretty - and in no way should you let yourself be used! Xx"

Thank you hun xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Massive cunt.

Your gorgeous, as I'm sure you're aware, so his loss.

Thanks darling xx

Pleasure is all mine having looked at your profile

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too?

How muddy were the wellies and what breed of pup have you got?"

Oh they were downright filthy!

And he’s a gorgeous but very destructive chocolate lab! I keep threatening to turn him into a pair of ugg boots!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was messaging with a rather dishy gentleman yesterday, I made the first move, very selective sorry to say.

All was going well and no talk of sex at all. After about 10 messages, he went quiet and hasn't replied since

Some men are just strange lol "
I agree, very strange. Your pretty btw

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Was messaging with a rather dishy gentleman yesterday, I made the first move, very selective sorry to say.

All was going well and no talk of sex at all. After about 10 messages, he went quiet and hasn't replied since

Some men are just strange lol "

Firstly - you’re extremely pretty!

Secondly - can I ask what your profile name means please? And is it Latin?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Some men disappear after they realise we're not going to exchange dirty chat or meet immediately but the majority of men (of all ages) seem quite happy to chat with us and meet socially. We haven't found that looks have any bearing on it.

Mind you we probably get about two !messages a week from people who haven't contacted us before

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was messaging with a rather dishy gentleman yesterday, I made the first move, very selective sorry to say.

All was going well and no talk of sex at all. After about 10 messages, he went quiet and hasn't replied since

Some men are just strange lol "

Yes, yes we are. But so are some women!!

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

For me I will speak for ages without asking to play and tbh I normally as you well know peachy take things as they come so for example I will say fancy meeting in a club even if it’s a social

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Not generally Peachy but I didn't have one the other day when arranging a social he said he would be commando. When I told him I wasn't interested in seeing a socially distanced penis in Costa coffee he didn't reply!

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

*I did have one*

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Not generally Peachy but I didn't have one the other day when arranging a social he said he would be commando. When I told him I wasn't interested in seeing a socially distanced penis in Costa coffee he didn't reply! "

And this is why I love you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hehe love the socially distanced penis line.

Guys are often just here for titillation and ego stroking messages, followed by sexual encounters, (not all but most). When a guy does want to chat properly and interact with a person in a none sexual way from experience ive been told its weird and this is a sex site.

Maybe guys cant win?

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By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Heres a question though

Apparently neither really hot guys or women exist

One persons hot is anothers rejection

So for example for a fair number of forums ladies the

" Dad bod" is hot hot hot

What is hot

What is a hot woman ? Forum concencus is ALL women are hot

And thus to someone ALL men are hot ?

Are you saying men with dark hair and dad bods are the greatest culprits in your accusation?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's across the ages, not just younger guys, in my experience.

The "Come to my hotel now" guys are generally older tbh.

I just delete and move on. Plenty of decent ones out there

I agree.

I find the “Fancy a fuck now” or “Where are you I can drive to you for a fuck” are almost always older guys.

Guys my own age do it too, but not to the same extent they tend to want cybersex!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very common. You can almost tell from the first message that it's an all at once approach.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We love the ones who address our couples profile as hi sexy ha ha mr always takes it to the point were there about to come round and says mrs might come back during our meet that ok ?? # shit pants also yes the filthy talk stops when they say hiya what you up to and your reply is shaving my mustache from mrs ha ha end game

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah, I've had a lot of guys looking for a quick fix just wanting immediate sexting, camming, or a meet that night and then disappear when it doesn't happen.

I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X"

Wtaf!!!

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By *iker boy 69Man over a year ago

midlands

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

I must say that i do love a tense build up to a meet. When chat gets to the point of sexual but not quite crossing the line

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is interesting, I've found its more the younger guys that ask me for "fuck me now" meets. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Poor young guys today lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lmao

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Poor young guys today lol "

What even is young? Seems as relative as who is and isn't attractive lmao

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Hi peachy

Yeah had this once I mention it's a social 1st, people go quiet. Not always younger ones, but I think many in general don't want to put much effort in.

Thats why you get the "meet now" or you free now messages.

It makes me laugh when they then come back to chat months later and expect to pick up the chat, I always make a profile note so I know lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate it when ladies treat me like a piece of meat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Poor young guys today lol

What even is young? Seems as relative as who is and isn't attractive lmao"

20-27 is young imo

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By *on_ducor_ducoWoman over a year ago

Rock and a hard place

"Was messaging with a rather dishy gentleman yesterday, I made the first move, very selective sorry to say.

All was going well and no talk of sex at all. After about 10 messages, he went quiet and hasn't replied since

Some men are just strange lol I agree, very strange. Your pretty btw "

Aww thank you so much, you should come say hi sometime;-)

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I can't say I've noticed a correlation between level of hotness and wanting to engage in sex chat straight away. That being said, I've had a few very erm... sculpted, not necessarily hot because subjective, men who have messaged me and do the whole expect me to be dripping and ready for their cock servicing. When I politely explain that we're looking for different things on the site I get reminded it's a sex site.

Sometimes I think they believe they are doing me the favour and can't believe I'm not ready to give me their address.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have come to expect nothing on here really and its mainly down to the reputation of the single guys.Ive seen it first hand and totally get why the guys have that reputation but we are not all bad. just stiking up a conversation on here can be hard work especially with couples ive found (still trying to be part of an mfm or ffm 3some lol) so I would never expect a shag on the first meet or even the second sometimes but the social side of it is just as important and there needs to be a spark

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

I have to disagree here. A lot of men, especially the ones who join expecting large amounts of free sex, aren’t here to swing. They’re here thinking the women will put out for anyone and everyone at a moment’s notice, and they can’t understand it (to varying degrees of unpleasantness) when they discover we don’t.

To the OP, I find it’s a lot of men of all ages that behave like this, or only message you with cock in hand because they’re horny then vanish again as soon as they finish wanking, but the younger ones are most often the ones who think it’s a random hookup site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

I'm not saying it is correct behaviour, but it's surely to be expected?

It's a swinging site, of course the sex is going to be free...it's not an escort site etc.

So guys come on here and think "the women here must have joined for sex also".

The difference I think is in how men and women get turned on, with men it's more visual and with women it's more mental.

So if you have a profile picture with your tits out, the majority of men will reply to that image hahahaha

We're simple creatures!!

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By *urely4funMan over a year ago

london

I added a lady to my hotlist for ages but never messaged because i thought she was just way out of my game, and she messaged me first asking for a face pic, i obliged then she returned with "are you going to fuck me or what, i want you to fuck me" i put out some dates and she never replied.

still on my hotlist, just tug one out over her lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Poor young guys today lol

What even is young? Seems as relative as who is and isn't attractive lmao"

Not really.

18-35 is generally considered young adults if you do a google.

Of course people’s own opinions vary, but whenever I’ve seen say an establishment refer to young adults or whatever it’s usually 18-35.

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I added a lady to my hotlist for ages but never messaged because i thought she was just way out of my game, and she messaged me first asking for a face pic, i obliged then she returned with "are you going to fuck me or what, i want you to fuck me" i put out some dates and she never replied.

still on my hotlist, just tug one out over her lol. "

Well you never know - it might just happen one day!

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By *on_ducor_ducoWoman over a year ago

Rock and a hard place

still on my hotlist, just tug one out over her lol.

Well you never know - it might just happen one day!

It wasn't me

but you can add me to hot list anytime x

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Possibly. I personally find it’s more prevalent in younger guys. What (mildly) surprises me though is that they claim to have read my profile and still be interested - and at no point on there does it mention sexting or instashag!

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

still on my hotlist, just tug one out over her lol.

Well you never know - it might just happen one day!

The problem for me is as I don’t accommodate I can only play at weekends. Also I am to shy in asking people to fuck lol

For me I am sure people know I am interested then take it from there

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By *BR_91Man over a year ago

Leeds

Besides, chatting/flirting is all part of it!

Couldn't agree more! There's always a place for the quick fuck kinda meets, but all my best encounters over the years have been with people I got to know and got on with before we went to bed together xx

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By * Lexi xWoman over a year ago

stockport

I don’t really find this. Maybe because I’m not looking for potential FWB or anything.

But the guys I’ve spoken to in the past keep popping back. Seeing how I am and if I’m still spoken for.

Generally I ignore most anyway so could be wrong.

I wouldn’t want to be a single woman on here without the clubs open. It’s just a minefield of weirdos.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

Yes it’s happened to me a lot.

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

Interesting takes on this matter. It seems to me that a lot of people are confusing fab with a dating site. You're looking to be wined and dined and you're surprised when they guy disappears. But this is fabswingers, a place where you find a sexual partner to share mutual sexual experiences with. Fair enough you should message, exchange numbers and vid call to ensure compatibility but your meeting should be for the reason you joined this site. That's just my opinion

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"I don’t really find this. Maybe because I’m not looking for potential FWB or anything.

But the guys I’ve spoken to in the past keep popping back. Seeing how I am and if I’m still spoken for.

Generally I ignore most anyway so could be wrong.

I wouldn’t want to be a single woman on here without the clubs open. It’s just a minefield of weirdos.

Oh don’t get me wrong - once we’ve met they come back years later (after the latest relationship has failed) to see if I fancy meeting up (I obviously make a great brew) - but the hours I waste chatting to disappearing hotties is getting irritating!

Probably just time for a sabbatical.

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By *uckslut and MCouple over a year ago

Poole

I find (Fem), from personal exspirance, the 6 pack brigade are only in it for themselves. Notches on the bedpost, as in look at me, look I can get any woman I want, I'm eye candy ect.

I've found many looking into mirrors while in the middle of action, to see what they look like while doing the act. Not interested in the pleasure of the woman ect. Oh did you not come? But I looked good doing it.

It's an instant turn off and no if gym fit guys contact us.

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Interesting takes on this matter. It seems to me that a lot of people are confusing fab with a dating site. You're looking to be wined and dined and you're surprised when they guy disappears. But this is fabswingers, a place where you find a sexual partner to share mutual sexual experiences with. Fair enough you should message, exchange numbers and vid call to ensure compatibility but your meeting should be for the reason you joined this site. That's just my opinion "

Wined and dined? I suggested a coffee at Starbucks to make sure we click! Bloody awkward if you turn up at someone’s door and one doesn’t fancy the other!

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By *llenGTWoman over a year ago

East/West Mids

"Yep. Tho I find this with a lot of men in general...regardless of how they look.

A lot of guys on here aren't really bothered about meeting, they just want some wanking material...

Won't get it from me

Yes this!!!

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

I actually meet people - in clubs 90% of the time

At the moment I am not gym fit due to an ankle injury

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By *d4fun73Man over a year ago

Shipley

"I don’t really find this. Maybe because I’m not looking for potential FWB or anything.

But the guys I’ve spoken to in the past keep popping back. Seeing how I am and if I’m still spoken for.

Generally I ignore most anyway so could be wrong.

I wouldn’t want to be a single woman on here without the clubs open. It’s just a minefield of weirdos.

Probably just time for a sabbatical.

Don't talk to hotties then find a nice guy who has other qualities!

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

Wined and dined? I suggested a coffee at Starbucks to make sure we click! Bloody awkward if you turn up at someone’s door and one doesn’t fancy the other!

OMG we've been there. the he part of the couple didn't talk on here, and turned up looking like the ginger bloke from The Full Monty, with less to say. Had to ask them to leave. Just... no. always have a social ever since.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm absolutely not looking to date, I'm in a relationship

However I do enjoy the social side and wouldn't meet to get straight to it, so like a drink and chat 1st

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By *itzimadCouple over a year ago

harwich

for the majority of us insta sex without any social isnt what were looking for

however weve known couples to turn up at a club/ party disapear into a room shag all and sundry all night and emerge to go home so for some thats the holy grail

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not just hot guys.

Trying to get a conversation from a guy on here without sex chat is dam near impossible!

Yes its a sex site but you don't have to talk about it 24/7.

Total turn off for me.

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

Wined and dined? I suggested a coffee at Starbucks to make sure we click! Bloody awkward if you turn up at someone’s door and one doesn’t fancy the other!

Hence why I said exchange numbers, vid call etc.

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

"Yep. Tho I find this with a lot of men in general...regardless of how they look.

A lot of guys on here aren't really bothered about meeting, they just want some wanking material...

Won't get it from me

That's crazy. You've been talking to the wrong ones

Yes this!!! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's funny as

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

I'm absolutely not looking to date, I'm in a relationship

However I do enjoy the social side and wouldn't meet to get straight to it, so like a drink and chat 1st "

Definitely. Convo builds chemistry and sexual energy. I'm not saying I totally disagree with meeting for a drink first but if we click we're going back to mine or yours. If you decide to go home alone after a few drinks then thats a date and definitely not what I signed up for. Might as well join a dating site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve noticed this too Juicy!

And Jessica, I agree with what the others have said, you look lovely! No idea what those guys were thinking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

Yes this happens all the time,and I've been called prude and other words because I won't indulge in dirty talk,pathetic really

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the time

So we now post i our profile that it’s not what I’m after.

Their needs versus ours just don’t match.

That’s ok

Next!

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too?

Yes this happens all the time,and I've been called prude and other words because I won't indulge in dirty talk,pathetic really

I’ll talk dirty with ya sweetie!

(Though I’d be bloody clueless and I’ve no doubt a 15 year old virgin would laugh at my attempts!)

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By *ust Peachy OP Woman over a year ago

Prestonish

"for the majority of us insta sex without any social isnt what were looking for

however weve known couples to turn up at a club/ party disapear into a room shag all and sundry all night and emerge to go home so for some thats the holy grail"

I’ve got single friends who do that too! I catch them for a natter when they stop for a drink between rounds!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too?

Yes this happens all the time,and I've been called prude and other words because I won't indulge in dirty talk,pathetic really

I’ll talk dirty with ya sweetie!

(Though I’d be bloody clueless and I’ve no doubt a 15 year old virgin would laugh at my attempts!) "

Snap lol ,actions really do speak louder then words

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

Ive found this from all ages ,all nice to start then it starts to get filthy(never been my thing especially with a stranger ) flirty talk yes ,but then they want pics and ask what you like etc etc ,soon as i say im not into it ,like Magic they are gone ,way i look at is they were not for me/us ,more than likely they never meet just want wank chat ,my time is precious and we are here to chat and meet nothing else ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You mean you actually chat with people? I've tried various approaches and getting a response would be an accomplishment for me haha. Never mind several messages into a convo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, the problem is that alot of guys join thinking they will find a site full of free hookers.

Who will be available at their whim, without any effort on their part

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Wines and dined? Couldn't think of anything worse, I hate eating in front of people whether fancy them or not.

Just a coffee, with pants

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wines and dined? Couldn't think of anything worse, I hate eating in front of people whether fancy them or not.

Just a coffee, with pants

"
no top? Naughty!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, the problem is that alot of guys join thinking they will find a site full of free hookers.

Who will be available at their whim, without any effort on their part"

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My messages ain't ever naughty unless the lady starts talking like it I just enjoy chatting and will more than likely message you about your status that's been put on

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

It's a swinging site, of course the sex is going to be free...it's not an escort site etc.

So guys come on here and think "the women here must have joined for sex also".

If they want a shag with no effort on their part, they should be booking an escort and paying for her effort.

Yes, I joined for sex (at the most basic, simplified level). I did not join to have sex with every rude little twerp that sends me messages like “when we fucking” and “who’s a dirty bitch” - actual recent examples of the poetry in my inbox. I don’t fuck people who can’t manage basic courtesy or to treat me like a human instead of a fleshlight.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

Oh yes, that old chestnut “I read your profile” lol

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

I’m not looking to date, I absolutely don’t want to be wined and dined. And I never, ever exchange phone numbers or do video calls. That is what a “social” is for. Or do you not believe in those? I AM looking to be treated like a living, breathing human being with my own needs and desires, not a sex doll.

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By *ister-mischiefMan over a year ago

Trafford

Muddy wellies you said do tell me more!!

Sadly or maybe this a good thing I must be a minority as that talk usually does nothing for me. A little build up yes to a possible social or meet but wank material erm its not!

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Nearly all of them disappear leaving the ones who are now friends and worth having in my life, it's ace

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

Wines and dined? Couldn't think of anything worse, I hate eating in front of people whether fancy them or not.

Just a coffee, with pants

Let me ask you something. After this coffee what are you planning to do?

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

No, the problem is that alot of guys join thinking they will find a site full of free hookers.

Who will be available at their whim, without any effort on their part"

Sounds like you've been talking to the wrong guys

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

Like I said a social with no sexual interaction after is just a date. That's why I'd rather speak on the phone, vid call or have multiple conversations to clarify we're on the same page and want the same thing. Meeting someone without knowing their intentions is potentially a big waste of time

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

And meeting someone for sex without meeting them in person first is potentially going to get me r*ped. It might be fine for you, a big strong man, to meet someone for sex with only a phone or video call to go on, you’re not in a lot of danger from it. I refuse to take that risk. And I absolutely refuse to have a social with a play meet right after “if it goes well”, because the risk of being pressured into it anyway is too high.

A social is not a date in my view, it’s more like an interview. Do you turn up to a job interview expecting to start work the minute it finishes? Or do you expect to go home and wait to hear whether they want to take it further? Do you see that as a waste of time?

I learn things face to face that I can’t pick up from a video call, and sometimes after a social I don’t want to have anything more to do with the person. What do you think would happen in your scenario if the woman decided she didn’t want to have sex with you? Would you let her walk away without pressuring her in anyway? Isn’t that a waste of your time too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yep. Tho I find this with a lot of men in general...regardless of how they look.

A lot of guys on here aren't really bothered about meeting, they just want some wanking material...

Won't get it from me

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By *onty1971Man over a year ago

London St Helier Trier

I like building the connection and creating fun for both.

When I started swinging I was used as a piece of meat which made the whole experience unsatisfying. Was a good lesson to learn. I k ow many 'lads' who see Ladies as meat. They miss the point and the the opposite create great fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

100% - But its as Lu said, it isn't just the "hot" guys. I've had it with plenty of others (whom I still found attractive) who just want me to cyber with them or fuck ASAP.

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By *ootprints1629Couple over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"I mean, it is a swinging site?

I think it's pretty shallow, but also people are here to swing so if it feels like that isn't in the offering, they go look elsewhere for the thing they're here for..

Actually I have to disagree, there is a huge difference between swinging and a quick fuck and leave, and sadly in my opinion, the quick fuck and leaves are ruining the swinging side of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow honestly they have asked for you to bring fitter girls?? They need their head examined as you are stunning

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"Yeah, I've had a lot of guys looking for a quick fix just wanting immediate sexting, camming, or a meet that night and then disappear when it doesn't happen.

I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X"

Wow! Just wow!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Haha, speaking of! Look what just dropped into my inbox.

"So stunning would you consider talking to me and maybe meeting me ? I can accommodate or travel and for you we coukd do anything I’d love to be a varification for you x"

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By *av501TV/TS over a year ago

Mancetter?

Surley they dont get or come much hotter than you Hun ?? X

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By *obsrocketMan over a year ago

Loughborough

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

Its not just you. I enjoy going into the chat rooms here. Its actually funny when you see a man going down the list of women trying to find an instashag, usually after the first 2-3 attempts he is shown the error of his ways. A social meet is always the best way to get to know someone. Even a club meet isn't a guarantee.

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By *r99mr99Man over a year ago

Ealing

[Removed by poster at 03/10/20 14:06:15]

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By *r99mr99Man over a year ago

Ealing

"I've even had some where I've agreed to a meet and fuck, and they've asked if I have any hotter other friends/girls I can bring with me. X

That's just a REALLY shitty guy

Yep. Even sent me photos of "the kind of girls he normally likes to fuck" to see if I had "any friends like that"

Jesus that's scummy behaviour. Sorry you had to experience that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi my lovelies

I’d say about 90% disappear Into the ether as soon as they realise instashag isn’t an option.

So - is this unusual or does it happen to lots of other women too? "

Yes it does.

Happened to me just the other day. Talking and chatting then saying nothing. Ghosting

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

You're right a woman has the concern of being attacked or r@ped but this could happen after weeks, months of seeing someone too. I feel if you've been talking to someone long enough you will able to read between the lines and accurately judge what type of person they are. (That's my personal experience it might be different for others)

I totally disagree with your social/interview analogy. So you're the employer qualifying the man to see if he's suitable for you? And he goes home after and awaits your verdict lol. Maybe its because I'm new to sites like this and never used a dating app but that format will never work for me, I'm not that submissive. Call me old fashioned but I'd much rather chat someone up in person where my charms, personality and looks are more effective. These "online rules" are weird to me.

Not trying to sound big headed but unless we have nothing in common I'd seriously doubt that after a meet we'd go our separate ways with nothing happening. Its happened to me but it's a very rare occurrence. And no I'd never pressure a woman into having sex with me I'm no predator and I'm far from desperate

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

It’s a two-way thing, I don’t assume that every person I meet for a social (stop assuming it’s only men

) will want to take it further. I assume that they will also want to go away and decide for themselves without pressure. I had a social once where the guy was way older and heavier than the photos he’d sent me, and then when he kissed me goodbye turned out to be a very unsettling kisser. I guess you think I should still have slept with him straight away in spite of zero attraction or chemistry? It’s that kind of attitude from men that’s led me to have a rule of socials and play meets on separate days, no exceptions. That and being assaulted when a guy thought he could play on a social. So no, they are not “dates”, they’re a safety feature.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is way we have profiles.

Read the profile.

If you don’t do socials, move on!

Simple as.

Don’t put you’re view of a social On to another, it’s their choice to conduct their meets this way.

This is timewasting behaviour and typical of many on here: Contact, chat and ignore the profile in the hope that she/he will change their mind!

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

"Haha, speaking of! Look what just dropped into my inbox.

"So stunning would you consider talking to me and maybe meeting me ? I can accommodate or travel and for you we coukd do anything I’d love to be a varification for you x"

One positive - it’s not fancy a fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes peachy, I have noticed a similar pattern with the super hot ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is way we have profiles.

Read the profile.

If you don’t do socials, move on!

Simple as.

Don’t put you’re view of a social On to another, it’s their choice to conduct their meets this way.

This is timewasting behaviour and typical of many on here: Contact, chat and ignore the profile in the hope that she/he will change their mind!

Couldn’t agree more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is a simple answer to your question.....

Man logs on to Fab: He has just come from the gym or a night out , he is horny , and not ready for bed... He checks who is near and finds a woman/couple he is attracted too... He sends a message and hopes for the best... They reply and they start chatting.... He figures since they are close by and the bantering is great , let’s do our chatting in person..... Then boom ..... they respond I don’t meet anyone without a social first..... No problem, enjoy your night.... he moves on to the next profile.....

When men first join , they don’t know the nuances of swinging... these men are not bad people, it just takes time to realize that Fabswingers isn’t a hook up App.....

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By *eanieggMan over a year ago

UXBRIDGE

i have found this when organising meets too.. you chat .. sort out times days and place to meet .. (i like a social 1st) BUT by the time to meet arrives they are just not up for meeting ..and disappear anything could of happened in the preceding days.. but usually they are not turned on enough to meet ??.. but to answer your query .. i feel a lot of guys are looking for immediate gratification .. and when they realise they arnt going to get it .. just move onto someone who will give them what they want.. it can be a shallow site peachy xx hope you are well .. i met you at the heathrow social and just before lockdown at club sx .. had a good chat on the sofa hope to see you at a club or social in the future .. good luck sean xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most of the really hot ones who contact me are verified by equally hot women. Therfore I tend to not even go there because my brain says I can't match up.

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By *rSuave88Man over a year ago

Mirfield

Theres actually guys out there that get replies and get conversations out of the ladies? What kind of wizardry is this

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By *eanieggMan over a year ago

UXBRIDGE

i always meet for an initial coffee/drinks.. and always let the lady choose the venue .. so they feel comfortable .. i always say it is just a social .. there is no pressure to take it further.. if we dont click then we finish the coffee and leave on a friendly note.. i have met for dinner before and we didnt get on and it was very awkward lol.. never did that again ..BUT i have also met for a coffee and we got on fantastically and went on to drinks and dinner.. you can always extend the meet if you BOTH want to

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By *kblokenorthMan over a year ago

Any

"Theres actually guys out there that get replies and get conversations out of the ladies? What kind of wizardry is this

Haha - especially when they make the first contact, you reply with pics etc and the message is left unread! ........;^)

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

It’s a two-way thing, I don’t assume that every person I meet for a social (stop assuming it’s only men

I've never been out with someone who I have no attraction to or chemistry with. I build a rapport by having plenty of conversations so I know there's plenty in common and the sexual tension is built up. I don't need to go away and think about it all the thought has been done before the meet. Its just anticipation left. No I don't expect you to sleep with someone who you're not attracted to but I wouldn't expect you to be on a date/social with him either. Sounds like you've made bad decisions about the guys you've chosen to go out with. Like I said I agree with socials for the safety aspect but all other decisions should be made beforehand through conversation. If you really listen to what someone is saying, reading between the lines you will find out a lot more about them.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I've found that really hot guys, especially the younger ones, have been some of the most respectful people that I've chatted to on here. Perhaps I've been lucky, perhaps it's because I've approached them first...I admit I'm a fussy cow and don't chat to many people, and very seldom even read messages that I receive, I prefer to do the hunting myself.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

Yep think it’s happening now as we speak as I’ve spoken about my Roast instead of ooooo and gasping at his dick !!!! My chicken is what I’m interested in at the moment ha ha....

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

Why aren't you instashag, come on they are hot after all

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

No I don't expect you to sleep with someone who you're not attracted to but I wouldn't expect you to be on a date/social with him either. Sounds like you've made bad decisions about the guys you've chosen to go out with."

Is this the charm and personality you’re so proud of? It’s my fault he was unattractive when he deliberately tricked me by sending photos that had to be 10 years old? Good to know. And I guess it’s my fault, just because I agreed to a social, that the other guy assaulted me when I repeatedly said no? Really nice victim blaming there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've found that really hot guys, especially the younger ones, have been some of the most respectful people that I've chatted to on here. Perhaps I've been lucky, perhaps it's because I've approached them first...I admit I'm a fussy cow and don't chat to many people, and very seldom even read messages that I receive, I prefer to do the hunting myself. "

You know what, I’ve actually found this too.

The really attractive guys tend to be the most polite and tend to take polite rejection as it should be taken.

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By *ance1502Man over a year ago

London

Wow this discussion took a bad turn. I must've misread but I didn't know you were assaulted and I'm sorry to hear that. At no point did I blame you for that. Obviously that's totally unacceptable in any situation. As I've said twice and now for a third time I agree with a social meet for the purpose of safety. Sorry you were catfished too but I stand by previous comments that if you talk to someone enough, vid call, etc you will know the persons intentions and what they look like. You will reveal your true intentions in a series of convos whether you mean to or not. Maybe we just think and do things differently but a person cannot hide their intentions from me after we've had multiple convos. Again sorry for what happened to you and in no way did I blame you for it.

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