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Females or couples...
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My opinion is that to ask... or rather demand a face pic with first contact when the person making that contact has no knowledge of whether they will ever get a reply even if it is to say no thanks, is somewhat unfair.
One person is in the position of having to give up their anonimity while the other(s) retain theirs.
Surely if you want anonimity - which is fine of course - both parties should be be allowed to keep theirs until both parties are comfortable about revealing their identity.
I know that's the game, but it doesnt stop it getting tiresome when demands are made on the approachee without anything ever being reciprocated.
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"My opinion is that to ask... or rather demand a face pic with first contact when the person making that contact has no knowledge of whether they will ever get a reply even if it is to say no thanks, is somewhat unfair.
One person is in the position of having to give up their anonimity while the other(s) retain theirs.
Surely if you want anonimity - which is fine of course - both parties should be be allowed to keep theirs until both parties are comfortable about revealing their identity.
I know that's the game, but it doesnt stop it getting tiresome when demands are made on the approachee without anything ever being reciprocated.
"
Agreed. That's why we neither ask for faces with first message nor comply with such requests. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
I don't have a problem with it. Even though I have a face pic public, but the Mes doesn’t when people wink or message us if they ask for a face pic in their bio I send one of us both.
You can set it so the photo is deleted, or you can remove them yourselves if you are a site supporter. |
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"My opinion is that to ask... or rather demand a face pic with first contact when the person making that contact has no knowledge of whether they will ever get a reply even if it is to say no thanks, is somewhat unfair.
One person is in the position of having to give up their anonimity while the other(s) retain theirs.
Surely if you want anonimity - which is fine of course - both parties should be be allowed to keep theirs until both parties are comfortable about revealing their identity.
I know that's the game, but it doesnt stop it getting tiresome when demands are made on the approachee without anything ever being reciprocated.
Agreed. That's why we neither ask for faces with first message nor comply with such requests. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss."
Their prerogative, like any profile where demands dominate the narrative. Personally I'm attracted to profiles that relay who they are and what they like rather than those that warn...'This is who you should be and these are our hoop...now jump !'
How a profile is written tells me far more than someone's face ever could. |
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Our take on it is.....
The person reaching out and sending the message wants to meet you or why bother with a message, therefore it follows that you should provide a picture of yourself to accompany the message or the recipient won't know who you are or whether they find you attractive.
If we were to get a message with face pics and we wanted to engage we would share face pictures with you.
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss."
You are talking about two very different things. They are saying somebody needs to send them a photo. Photos can be included in messages and can be kept private from anybody else. You are suggesting that in order to ask for this they should be displaying photos for anybody to see at any time.
Do you not see a rather obvious difference, OP? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If looking for a male then it wouldn't be unheard of to ask for a face pic with the first message.
1. because male profiles far outweigh any other profile type on fab.
2. Most men aren't shy to send a pic attached to the first message but almost always it will be of a penis and sometimes a penis being held next to a sky remote or a can of lynx Africa.
Surely a face picture would help more men find potential playmates instead of moaning about other people's preferences and getting blocked after the message sent contains above mentioned penis. |
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss.
You are talking about two very different things. They are saying somebody needs to send them a photo. Photos can be included in messages and can be kept private from anybody else. You are suggesting that in order to ask for this they should be displaying photos for anybody to see at any time.
Do you not see a rather obvious difference, OP? "
Not really.
What I am saying is that if the couple (or whoever) that is asking does not have a visible face picture on their profile is it not fairer to allow first contact to also be anonymous.
Would it not make more sense to then read the first email, review the profile and decide if the person might make a good match based on their description, likes and whatever photos they have posted?
Face photos are important of course, but let's be honest, most people know what body shape they are attracted to as well. If the frame isn't right, the face wont matter.
If they feel there might be potential, that would be the time to RESPOND to the approachee and say 'hey, thanks for the message, we like what we see so far, would you like to send us a face pic for us to decide if we might fancy you' or something along those lines.
Sure, that still leaves the option for them to ghost the approachee if they then do not like what they see, but at least it would appear as though some kind of consideration, respect and courtesy had been given to the exchange.
The polite thing would be to send a 'thanks but no thanks' of course, but maybe thats just how I was bought up...
What seems more common is - Send us a pic with your message or we wont respond at all. We probably wont respond at all anyway but we still want you to give up any sense of privacy.
Doesn't exactly give you a warm fuzzy feeling about the person you are approaching does it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss.
You are talking about two very different things. They are saying somebody needs to send them a photo. Photos can be included in messages and can be kept private from anybody else. You are suggesting that in order to ask for this they should be displaying photos for anybody to see at any time.
Do you not see a rather obvious difference, OP?
Not really.
What I am saying is that if the couple (or whoever) that is asking does not have a visible face picture on their profile is it not fairer to allow first contact to also be anonymous.
Would it not make more sense to then read the first email, review the profile and decide if the person might make a good match based on their description, likes and whatever photos they have posted?
Face photos are important of course, but let's be honest, most people know what body shape they are attracted to as well. If the frame isn't right, the face wont matter.
If they feel there might be potential, that would be the time to RESPOND to the approachee and say 'hey, thanks for the message, we like what we see so far, would you like to send us a face pic for us to decide if we might fancy you' or something along those lines.
Sure, that still leaves the option for them to ghost the approachee if they then do not like what they see, but at least it would appear as though some kind of consideration, respect and courtesy had been given to the exchange.
The polite thing would be to send a 'thanks but no thanks' of course, but maybe thats just how I was bought up...
What seems more common is - Send us a pic with your message or we wont respond at all. We probably wont respond at all anyway but we still want you to give up any sense of privacy.
Doesn't exactly give you a warm fuzzy feeling about the person you are approaching does it. "
When we allowed single men to message us we were getting hundreds of messages, only 5 guys sent through a face picture with the message. The rest nearly always sent through a penis snap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss."
I cannot say if I'm attracted to a man unless I see a face pic
My face pics are private. If I'm attracted I will send a face pic. If not I won't and definitely won't send one first
Saira
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"...Who say 'must send face pic or we will block you' also have no face pics on their profile.
Discuss.
You are talking about two very different things. They are saying somebody needs to send them a photo. Photos can be included in messages and can be kept private from anybody else. You are suggesting that in order to ask for this they should be displaying photos for anybody to see at any time.
Do you not see a rather obvious difference, OP?
Not really.
What I am saying is that if the couple (or whoever) that is asking does not have a visible face picture on their profile is it not fairer to allow first contact to also be anonymous.
Would it not make more sense to then read the first email, review the profile and decide if the person might make a good match based on their description, likes and whatever photos they have posted?
Face photos are important of course, but let's be honest, most people know what body shape they are attracted to as well. If the frame isn't right, the face wont matter.
If they feel there might be potential, that would be the time to RESPOND to the approachee and say 'hey, thanks for the message, we like what we see so far, would you like to send us a face pic for us to decide if we might fancy you' or something along those lines.
Sure, that still leaves the option for them to ghost the approachee if they then do not like what they see, but at least it would appear as though some kind of consideration, respect and courtesy had been given to the exchange.
The polite thing would be to send a 'thanks but no thanks' of course, but maybe thats just how I was bought up...
What seems more common is - Send us a pic with your message or we wont respond at all. We probably wont respond at all anyway but we still want you to give up any sense of privacy.
Doesn't exactly give you a warm fuzzy feeling about the person you are approaching does it. "
In an ideal world, all messages that people send would be worth sending. In a an ideal world people would not receive more messages than they have time to answer. In an ideal world everybody would get some sort of reply to their messages explaining the situation. In an ideal world people would not send abuse when they get turned down. Sadly we do not live in an ideal world. People have to sort the wheat from the chaff somehow.
Somebody is perfectly entitled to think that a face they are not attracted to is a deal-breaker, in which case they want it at the very beginning. Your approach to this situation may be very civilised but it doesn't change the fact that if they don't like your face then it's not going anywhere.
They just need to live with the fact that their perfect guy may not be willing to send a face photo in his first message and so they miss out. As long as they don't complain about that, other people shouldn't complain about the criteria they choose when using this site.
I have some sympathy for you not getting replies, but if you don't like somebody's rules, just don't try to get involved with them. They know better than anybody the best way for them to work out who they are interested in. |
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