FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Time wasters
Time wasters
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Define time waster OP
I for one am having lovely conversations with many folks. My expectation is that only a few of those will actually meet with me - but that's ok as I'm happy to be social on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loool I have much better luck in real life, than on sites tbh, too many time wasters that will talk to you then out of nowhere not a peep"
pulling in a pub or out and about is not swinging tho is it ???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shame this site is so full of time wasters.
Makes no point of even being on here tbh "
I disagree because if a time waster wants to waste their time then that’s up to them and good luck to them if they get enjoyment out of it.
But if a time waster wastes my time then that’s on me as I’ve let them waste my time.
I believe nothing on here as words are very cheap for example:-
Hello I’ve got a ten inch rock hard cock.
Truth is I havnt it’s only 6inchs when hard which Is never now but I’m not on here for me.
People come on here thinking it’s slut city central and it’s just not like that.
Fab is what fab is and if it’s not for you then yes there seems to be no point in you being on here.
Best of luck op.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loool I have much better luck in real life, than on sites tbh, too many time wasters that will talk to you then out of nowhere not a peep
pulling in a pub or out and about is not swinging tho is it ??? "
I mean let’s be real, before Covid there was a function to see who wanted to meet “today” (of course there’s cam fun too, (still Swinger centric of course mostly) but people do come on here to chat and also to hook up if they can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to me some of you guys are measuring time wasters as number of people prepared to meet or not meet.
I think this type of thinking may need to be adjusted for what we are all going through right now.
Regardless of covid , I've always taken the attitude to build up trust with a network of folks - that's served me well so far
Just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with.  "
Precisely this
Alot of men on here seem to have an odd idea that the Fab ladies will shag anyone who asks
Some ask me to meet at 4am
"But you dont even know what i look like" I reply.
Gotta love Fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loool I have much better luck in real life, than on sites tbh, too many time wasters that will talk to you then out of nowhere not a peep
They're preventing you from wasting more time. "
I guess so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shame this site is so full of time wasters.
Makes no point of even being on here tbh
I disagree because if a time waster wants to waste their time then that’s up to them and good luck to them if they get enjoyment out of it.
But if a time waster wastes my time then that’s on me as I’ve let them waste my time.
I believe nothing on here as words are very cheap for example:-
Hello I’ve got a ten inch rock hard cock.
Truth is I havnt it’s only 6inchs when hard which Is never now but I’m not on here for me.
People come on here thinking it’s slut city central and it’s just not like that.
Fab is what fab is and if it’s not for you then yes there seems to be no point in you being on here.
Best of luck op.
T"
I like this because I agree with what this couple are saying also OP.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My life is busy and my time is precious so hate anyone who wastes it. Thankfully not many have although i have been stood up twice on here."
Thank you! When we speak about time wasters we mean people who say they will meet, will message you on the day then at the last minute stop calling (worse if you left your place to go see them lmao) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone only wants to talk and get to know people make friends and not have sex, that doesn't really make them a time waster you both are on the site for a different reasons the site isn't used purely for sex it can be used for a range of experiences and for a lot of people this site is seen to be a confidence builder, been told your a time waster because you might not want to meet or you have priorities in your personal life which comes first before replying to someone speaks volumes about the person calling them a time waster than the actual recipient (just a general thought not digging at anyone) |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Time is a precious resource no one has enough of, but if you assume that everyone you talk to is either “fake” a “time waster” a “cat fish” etc. then you only stand to be surprised if they turn out not to be.
Its no different to me speaking to strangers in a waiting room. You are polite, respectful and the majority of the time go your separate ways. However in some cases, you end up carrying the conversation on.
One of our prior meets, I was convinced up until the minute I saw her pulling into our parking spot that they were a cat fish and would no show. Turned out to be a very fun meeting that pushed a few of her buttons and we thoroughly enjoyed it.
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What's your definition of 'timewasters'?
It's a term that's often overused by people who have unrealistic expectations here. Most people will not have mutual compatibility with most other people here and it will not often be immediately obvious that another user is not compatible, just from taking everything in from a profile and a message. That's even if the profile is truthful and the user has accurate self-awareness.
Are people time-wasters if they are not 100% sure that they will totally commit sexually to do everything on their sexual preferences list? No!
It takes time for many people to be able to work out if another is right for them. Whilst 1 user may eventually be perceived as right for them, half a dozen or more may actually still be decided on as a much better choice. And because of lockdown, they may already have a long list of former actual and prospective partners that they are waiting to meet with.
Everyone has very different levels of commitment and availability here. Some are free and single and can meet at the drop of a hat. Others may only occasionally have any free time for themselves and, if they want to go out, may have difficult child care arrangements etc to make. If they have a few hours off, maybe they'll prefer a movie or something else they've not done in months instead. For people who have a source of sexual satisfaction that already exists, they may not be as eager or even as desperate as some people here that you may come across.
It doesn't matter if there's been 100 messages between you or more. If you suddenly don't cut it for them, perhaps due to something said, or their personal circumstances changing, they owe you nothing. If they ever arrange to meet but don't follow the arrangements made beforehand to notify cancellation, then it's not appropriate, assuming that they would be able to reasonably do so. We should only be arranging meets now for social events anyway.
Everyone has a right to decide 'no' at any point. And there should be no explectation of being given that rejection by notification here. No contact means no interest at the moment and perhaps forever. And nobody should be thought of as a timewaster just because they don't want to continue interaction. It's ended. Deal with your thing. Move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?"
There is and it’s called the forums but you really can meet and chat it’s really not that hard.
T |
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By *nya888Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?"
But if you subscribe to the 'meet group' it still doesn't mean you'll want to meet everyone, so will still run the risk of being called a time waster by all the men and women you decline.. |
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I was a time waster, when I answered a complimentary message, said thanks, he sent another message about meeting I replied no, then he said ‘I was a fucking time waster’ then blocked me. 
His definition is totally different to what I think most reasonable people would think. Plus I wasted my time as well in that case |
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By *rkrisssMan
over a year ago
Berkshire |
I guess it's actually about how people define their own 'time' and how it can be wasted!?! If a reply to their msg doesn't include the words 'Yes,ready or waiting' then maybe it's actually the recipients time that's being wasted by politely saying no!!! LOL!!! |
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I’ve just been talking to the lady for the past four days. tonight I come back from work and checked my messages.
She disappeared off the face of the Earth. So you cannot tell me that it’s not time wasting?
But on the other hand what can I say that’s how it is on here sometimes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve just been talking to the lady for the past four days. tonight I come back from work and checked my messages.
She disappeared off the face of the Earth. So you cannot tell me that it’s not time wasting?
But on the other hand what can I say that’s how it is on here sometimes "
Maybe she was put off by something or someone on here. It happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with you, anyone who claims they dont know what a timewaster is or ask you to define it are time wasters themselves.
Its obvious what a timewaster is on this site as alot of fake accounts.
Even during covid everyones meeting and dogging so anyone who pretends no on should be meeting is a liar  thats why they log in. |
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"What's your definition of 'timewasters'?
It's a term that's often overused by people who have unrealistic expectations here. Most people will not have mutual compatibility with most other people here and it will not often be immediately obvious that another user is not compatible, just from taking everything in from a profile and a message. That's even if the profile is truthful and the user has accurate self-awareness.
Are people time-wasters if they are not 100% sure that they will totally commit sexually to do everything on their sexual preferences list? No!
It takes time for many people to be able to work out if another is right for them. Whilst 1 user may eventually be perceived as right for them, half a dozen or more may actually still be decided on as a much better choice. And because of lockdown, they may already have a long list of former actual and prospective partners that they are waiting to meet with.
Everyone has very different levels of commitment and availability here. Some are free and single and can meet at the drop of a hat. Others may only occasionally have any free time for themselves and, if they want to go out, may have difficult child care arrangements etc to make. If they have a few hours off, maybe they'll prefer a movie or something else they've not done in months instead. For people who have a source of sexual satisfaction that already exists, they may not be as eager or even as desperate as some people here that you may come across.
It doesn't matter if there's been 100 messages between you or more. If you suddenly don't cut it for them, perhaps due to something said, or their personal circumstances changing, they owe you nothing. If they ever arrange to meet but don't follow the arrangements made beforehand to notify cancellation, then it's not appropriate, assuming that they would be able to reasonably do so. We should only be arranging meets now for social events anyway.
Everyone has a right to decide 'no' at any point. And there should be no explectation of being given that rejection by notification here. No contact means no interest at the moment and perhaps forever. And nobody should be thought of as a timewaster just because they don't want to continue interaction. It's ended. Deal with your thing. Move on. "
Yeah, I agree.
"she wouldn't fuck me on demand" = time waster.
"they were too busy to meet this week" = time waster
My (naive?) view is that most people accusing others of being time wasters are actually the guilty party.
We've certainly been called out on it. My amazing wife has been accused of being a sad single guy still living with his mum somehow... |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I agree with you, anyone who claims they dont know what a timewaster is or ask you to define it are time wasters themselves.
Its obvious what a timewaster is on this site as alot of fake accounts.
Even during covid everyones meeting and dogging so anyone who pretends no on should be meeting is a liar thats why they log in."
Wow. So most of us by your definition are timewasters and liars then. I asked for people's definitions of timewasters earlier as people's views are different, so despite the fact that I have previously organised socials, attentended clubs and parties, that still makes me a timewaster for over 5 years on here lol. Bit of a sweeping statement of yours in my opinion. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"What's your definition of 'timewasters'?
It's a term that's often overused by people who have unrealistic expectations here. Most people will not have mutual compatibility with most other people here and it will not often be immediately obvious that another user is not compatible, just from taking everything in from a profile and a message. That's even if the profile is truthful and the user has accurate self-awareness.
Are people time-wasters if they are not 100% sure that they will totally commit sexually to do everything on their sexual preferences list? No!
It takes time for many people to be able to work out if another is right for them. Whilst 1 user may eventually be perceived as right for them, half a dozen or more may actually still be decided on as a much better choice. And because of lockdown, they may already have a long list of former actual and prospective partners that they are waiting to meet with.
Everyone has very different levels of commitment and availability here. Some are free and single and can meet at the drop of a hat. Others may only occasionally have any free time for themselves and, if they want to go out, may have difficult child care arrangements etc to make. If they have a few hours off, maybe they'll prefer a movie or something else they've not done in months instead. For people who have a source of sexual satisfaction that already exists, they may not be as eager or even as desperate as some people here that you may come across.
It doesn't matter if there's been 100 messages between you or more. If you suddenly don't cut it for them, perhaps due to something said, or their personal circumstances changing, they owe you nothing. If they ever arrange to meet but don't follow the arrangements made beforehand to notify cancellation, then it's not appropriate, assuming that they would be able to reasonably do so. We should only be arranging meets now for social events anyway.
Everyone has a right to decide 'no' at any point. And there should be no explectation of being given that rejection by notification here. No contact means no interest at the moment and perhaps forever. And nobody should be thought of as a timewaster just because they don't want to continue interaction. It's ended. Deal with your thing. Move on.
Yeah, I agree.
"she wouldn't fuck me on demand" = time waster.
"they were too busy to meet this week" = time waster
My (naive?) view is that most people accusing others of being time wasters are actually the guilty party.
We've certainly been called out on it. My amazing wife has been accused of being a sad single guy still living with his mum somehow... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with you, anyone who claims they dont know what a timewaster is or ask you to define it are time wasters themselves.
Its obvious what a timewaster is on this site as alot of fake accounts.
Even during covid everyones meeting and dogging so anyone who pretends no on should be meeting is a liar thats why they log in."
Omg how very immature are you,maybe you are still meeting during Covid,I'm certainly not so don't call me a Liar mate  |
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"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with. "
A time waster is someone who is keen as mustard with messages all week, with a plan to meet on the Friday night, then goes quiet on you from Wednesday morning....... |
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"My life is busy and my time is precious so hate anyone who wastes it. Thankfully not many have although i have been stood up twice on here.
Thank you! When we speak about time wasters we mean people who say they will meet, will message you on the day then at the last minute stop calling (worse if you left your place to go see them lmao) "
This is what we're talking about. Those who give the clear impression they want to meet you then either go quiet just before, avoid all attempts to set a date or simply don't show up as agreed. A lot of fantasists and fakes on here who talk the talk but won't walk the walk.
On the other hand I find myself chatting to many who claim they want to talk and be 'friends' yet find again and again frustratingly one sided conversation or one liner, one word replies and every conversation initiated by me. Some seem to think this place is Facebook and they must have the biggest friends list |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with.
A time waster is someone who is keen as mustard with messages all week, with a plan to meet on the Friday night, then goes quiet on you from Wednesday morning....... "
I'm constantly called a timewaster when I say no thanks politely. Hence my comment. I agree with yours though, that would be my definition. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with you, anyone who claims they dont know what a timewaster is or ask you to define it are time wasters themselves.
Its obvious what a timewaster is on this site as alot of fake accounts.
Even during covid everyones meeting and dogging so anyone who pretends no on should be meeting is a liar thats why they log in."
Wow , how very immature of you mate. So you obviously saying no meets = time waster ?
Sorry pal it's not as clear cut as that. There are too many other variables to consider - eg maybe youve done something to piss then off, maybe they like someone else, maybe something personal has come up, maybe they don't want to meet due to covid.
Either way , if they don't want to meet with you , that's their choice. Just because youve been chatting does not mean they owe you a meet.
Sorry but , grow up |
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"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with.
A time waster is someone who is keen as mustard with messages all week, with a plan to meet on the Friday night, then goes quiet on you from Wednesday morning.......
I'm constantly called a timewaster when I say no thanks politely. Hence my comment. I agree with yours though, that would be my definition. "
I speak from very recent experience |
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"I’ve just been talking to the lady for the past four days. tonight I come back from work and checked my messages.
She disappeared off the face of the Earth. So you cannot tell me that it’s not time wasting?
But on the other hand what can I say that’s how it is on here sometimes "
She decided that she wanted something different. That's not time wasting - see my earlier post and reflect/commonent on that.
Getting to know someone is part of the evaluation that we all do incrementally. Piece by piece we gather information helping us to ascertain whether the others are appropriate for us and whether we will or will not proceed with the process. Most starters will not progress to become actual meets and sex partners. On numbers alone, we should expect that and welcome others or our own decisions that the relationship is not right. Nobody should want to have others continue dialogue or any interaction, if there's no match - continuing would be time-wasting, not discontinuing. Read my earlier post. |
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Most people I believe, like the idea of meeting someone ( like the thrill of doing it). But when it actually comes down to it they either chicken out or can't be arsed. If someone arranges a meet then doesn't turn up and no reason was given. Straight block |
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"Shame this site is so full of time wasters.
Makes no point of even being on here tbh "
People who accuse others of time wasting quite often are the epicentre of the problem through their own initial actions.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get accused of being a timewaster because i always say i cant meet. Men just dont realise how hard it is having a young family. And this was before lockdown. |
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"Most people I believe, like the idea of meeting someone ( like the thrill of doing it). But when it actually comes down to it they either chicken out or can't be arsed. If someone arranges a meet then doesn't turn up and no reason was given. Straight block "
I get a lot of that, they make poor excuses or just go quiet before the meet. Some even leave site a day or two beforehand ! . Often happens just as we get to agreeing time and place  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most people I believe, like the idea of meeting someone ( like the thrill of doing it). But when it actually comes down to it they either chicken out or can't be arsed. If someone arranges a meet then doesn't turn up and no reason was given. Straight block
I get a lot of that, they make poor excuses or just go quiet before the meet. Some even leave site a day or two beforehand ! . Often happens just as we get to agreeing time and place "
Sadly due to covid 19 strangers are not allowed to kiss or anything meet wise.
Normal times I know how it feels but that is the way it is for a lot of people.
Right now. Different time.
Could be a mixture of things.
Person is married.
Has a bf.
Or something else
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get accused of being a timewaster because i always say i cant meet. Men just dont realise how hard it is having a young family. And this was before lockdown."
That's the thing isn't it.
If a few assume people can meet at stop of a hat then they will be shocked.
After all, we all have a life outside of fab and meeting is going to hard to arrange. Now even harder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with.
Precisely this
Alot of men on here seem to have an odd idea that the Fab ladies will shag anyone who asks
Some ask me to meet at 4am
"But you dont even know what i look like" I reply.
Gotta love Fab"
LOL.. definitely can relate to this! |
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"What's your definition of 'timewasters'?
It's a term that's often overused by people who have unrealistic expectations here. Most people will not have mutual compatibility with most other people here and it will not often be immediately obvious that another user is not compatible, just from taking everything in from a profile and a message. That's even if the profile is truthful and the user has accurate self-awareness.
Are people time-wasters if they are not 100% sure that they will totally commit sexually to do everything on their sexual preferences list? No!
It takes time for many people to be able to work out if another is right for them. Whilst 1 user may eventually be perceived as right for them, half a dozen or more may actually still be decided on as a much better choice. And because of lockdown, they may already have a long list of former actual and prospective partners that they are waiting to meet with.
Everyone has very different levels of commitment and availability here. Some are free and single and can meet at the drop of a hat. Others may only occasionally have any free time for themselves and, if they want to go out, may have difficult child care arrangements etc to make. If they have a few hours off, maybe they'll prefer a movie or something else they've not done in months instead. For people who have a source of sexual satisfaction that already exists, they may not be as eager or even as desperate as some people here that you may come across.
It doesn't matter if there's been 100 messages between you or more. If you suddenly don't cut it for them, perhaps due to something said, or their personal circumstances changing, they owe you nothing. If they ever arrange to meet but don't follow the arrangements made beforehand to notify cancellation, then it's not appropriate, assuming that they would be able to reasonably do so. We should only be arranging meets now for social events anyway.
Everyone has a right to decide 'no' at any point. And there should be no explectation of being given that rejection by notification here. No contact means no interest at the moment and perhaps forever. And nobody should be thought of as a timewaster just because they don't want to continue interaction. It's ended. Deal with your thing. Move on. "
Perfectly said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your definition of 'timewasters'?
It's a term that's often overused by people who have unrealistic expectations here. Most people will not have mutual compatibility with most other people here and it will not often be immediately obvious that another user is not compatible, just from taking everything in from a profile and a message. That's even if the profile is truthful and the user has accurate self-awareness.
Are people time-wasters if they are not 100% sure that they will totally commit sexually to do everything on their sexual preferences list? No!
It takes time for many people to be able to work out if another is right for them. Whilst 1 user may eventually be perceived as right for them, half a dozen or more may actually still be decided on as a much better choice. And because of lockdown, they may already have a long list of former actual and prospective partners that they are waiting to meet with.
Everyone has very different levels of commitment and availability here. Some are free and single and can meet at the drop of a hat. Others may only occasionally have any free time for themselves and, if they want to go out, may have difficult child care arrangements etc to make. If they have a few hours off, maybe they'll prefer a movie or something else they've not done in months instead. For people who have a source of sexual satisfaction that already exists, they may not be as eager or even as desperate as some people here that you may come across.
It doesn't matter if there's been 100 messages between you or more. If you suddenly don't cut it for them, perhaps due to something said, or their personal circumstances changing, they owe you nothing. If they ever arrange to meet but don't follow the arrangements made beforehand to notify cancellation, then it's not appropriate, assuming that they would be able to reasonably do so. We should only be arranging meets now for social events anyway.
Everyone has a right to decide 'no' at any point. And there should be no explectation of being given that rejection by notification here. No contact means no interest at the moment and perhaps forever. And nobody should be thought of as a timewaster just because they don't want to continue interaction. It's ended. Deal with your thing. Move on.
Perfectly said "
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"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?"
And so, which group do people go to if they want to meet but won't just meet anyone who asks/demands it? Are we then time wasters because we say we want to meet, but won't meet everyone, at any time? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think a lot of people define a timewaster as someone who doesn't want to meet them. God forbid we should actually choose who we want to spend time with.
A time waster is someone who is keen as mustard with messages all week, with a plan to meet on the Friday night, then goes quiet on you from Wednesday morning.......
I'm constantly called a timewaster when I say no thanks politely. Hence my comment. I agree with yours though, that would be my definition.
I speak from very recent experience "
Oh not good, sorry to hear that. X |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?
And so, which group do people go to if they want to meet but won't just meet anyone who asks/demands it? Are we then time wasters because we say we want to meet, but won't meet everyone, at any time?"
Perhaps we can have a 3rd group, the picky ones lol. |
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"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?
And so, which group do people go to if they want to meet but won't just meet anyone who asks/demands it? Are we then time wasters because we say we want to meet, but won't meet everyone, at any time?
Perhaps we can have a 3rd group, the picky ones lol. "
Yes, how dare we have standards!? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Maybe there should be two branches of Fab , those that actually will meet and those who only want to chat ?
And so, which group do people go to if they want to meet but won't just meet anyone who asks/demands it? Are we then time wasters because we say we want to meet, but won't meet everyone, at any time?
Perhaps we can have a 3rd group, the picky ones lol.
Yes, how dare we have standards!?"
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
damn that people may have the audacity to take something slowly, or heaven forbid change their mind on wanting to meet someone!!!!
as someone above said.... it funny that its always someone that has been rejected that throws out the "timewaster" card! its like the the final gesture of throwing shit at a wall to see what sticks!!!!!
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"damn that people may have the audacity to take something slowly, or heaven forbid change their mind on wanting to meet someone!!!!
as someone above said.... it funny that its always someone that has been rejected that throws out the "timewaster" card! its like the the final gesture of throwing shit at a wall to see what sticks!!!!!
"
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