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What Makes a Introductory Message?
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I know it’s been done (to death) but I’m talking introductory messages on Fab. What makes a good first message for you?
As somebody who would never dream of just sending a generic, short, copy and paste message to anybody, I’m curious what hits the sweet spot for people?
I’ll always write a relevant message that refers to at least something in their bio but you need to tread the tightrope of not sounding like a sex pest vs giving at least an air of sexuality.
Often a nice curated message can fall on deaf ears, with no reply or only something monosyllabic (even when they’re supposedly interested!), which can be quite discouraging.
So, what works for you? |
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"Just because you think your message is good, doesn't mean that's how it's received. Don't give up  "
Sure, I was alluding to that and I guess that’s partly the reason. But that’s why I’m asking, what’s the sweet spot for you? |
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By *P994Man
over a year ago
Travelling |
A dick pic and a wana fuck 2night has 100% success rate, maybe not the right kind of success though 
Just go off the profile you’re messaging, you can generally gauge what they want and if you fit the bill they’ll message you back. You’ll have some success eventually |
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"There is no sweet spot, no one answer will tell you what everyone wants
It’s individual and gives no obligation to reply even if you think they should be interested "
This ..... every woman/ man on here is looking for different things and won’t respond in the same way. Cock pics and action shots in public or in first message get deleted for me. Hey Babes etc too ....... Anything else just depends on my mood too.
Like anything else it’s a numbers game x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because you think your message is good, doesn't mean that's how it's received. Don't give up "
^^^^^indeed
We love a hi or how are you and our new lazy stock reply is mustn’t grumble!!!!
Just be you and if the receiver likes that or you then it’s all gravy.
Best of luck op.
T |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
A good first message sent to me is one where the woman or couple explain what brought her/them to my profile and why they chose me to write to. It's often prompted by another event or recommendation. That way it's clearly genuine and worth responding to. |
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If there’s something on their profile, status or forum post, that intrigues you then mention it.
The issues is always the generic messages, very few are honestly interested how somebody is today. Or a basic question like ‘what you doing ?’
The majority of my messages are the latter, however I’ve had a conversation today because that person first message was interested in, about something I’ve written. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A simple 'hi' does it for me lol
Doesn't really what makes me reply to a message is if it's been thought out and they have mentioned something in my profile now when it comes to replying I'm rubbish at that half the time I don't know what to say and it's even worse if I find the other person attractive I have a knack of making myself sound all boring in messages  |
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"It's a bit easier when someone has a decent profile and you can go off that.
Those blank profiles are a nightmare.
Why on earth would you message a blank profile?  "
I dont really as a rule but if you saw someone you really liked..it would be difficult knowing what to say. |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
"It's a bit easier when someone has a decent profile and you can go off that.
Those blank profiles are a nightmare.
Why on earth would you message a blank profile? "
My thoughts exactly. Will fill in later or just, looking for a man or a couple. Tells you nothing!
If there was one message that worked, surely that would be, by the definition, generic?
There is no one answer, you, op are different to me and I probably look for different things than you do. Diction may be different or the way we read a profile. Just write what you think is relevant to you and the recipient. Then it's 50/50. |
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"It's a bit easier when someone has a decent profile and you can go off that.
Those blank profiles are a nightmare.
Why on earth would you message a blank profile?
I dont really as a rule but if you saw someone you really liked..it would be difficult knowing what to say."
If the profile is blank, how can you see someone you really liked? It's a blank profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is different but for me introducing yourself usually goes down well. Doesn’t necessarily mean you have to include a face picture (it does help though).
One liners, awful spelling or blatant copied and pasted messages get an instant delete from me. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
My profile is a reasonable length (some may say it's too long but if you can't hold attention for 2 minutes to read my profile, I'm not going to trust you can in a meet!).
I'd like to think it gives enough to start a decent conversation, but I am inundated with 'hi', 'how are you' and 'want to chat?'
I check their profile, little to nothing... Why would I want to chat? What would I chat about?
Give me a decent starting point, a mutual (or conflicting) interest and you're far more likely to get a reply. |
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"Like anything else it’s a numbers game x "
Thanks all, I take all of your points - especially the above quote which I think is what it comes down to, just like in real life. Eventually a compatible pair will find one another.
And I stress, this was never about finding THE sweet spot, merely finding out individuals’ sweet spot - we are of course all different. |
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Another suggestion, if you send a message at 3pm by 6pm, that message could be at the bottom of a big pile of messages from other guys. So maybe think about the best time to send that message as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree it's a numbers game but then what are people's view on sending a follow up if your message hasn't been read, or read and not deleted?"
Rightly or wrongly I only ever send one message, lf it's read or not the way I see it is it's their loss if they don't respond or read it.
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Start with "Hello" and use our names. That's a start that will immediately stand out from the crowd.
Then introduce yourself followed by telling us why you are contacting us. And please, for the love of god, have something to say! Be friendly and don't say anything sexual. Don't tell us you're horny or talk about your favourite porn. We don't care. Don't ask us about our sex lives. Just show us we there's a possibility of having a conversation. That will get a guaranteed reply from us.
"Hi", "How are you?", and "Wanna meet?" do not count as conversations. |
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"I know it’s been done (to death) but I’m talking introductory messages on Fab. What makes a good first message for you?
As somebody who would never dream of just sending a generic, short, copy and paste message to anybody, I’m curious what hits the sweet spot for people?
I’ll always write a relevant message that refers to at least something in their bio but you need to tread the tightrope of not sounding like a sex pest vs giving at least an air of sexuality.
Often a nice curated message can fall on deaf ears, with no reply or only something monosyllabic (even when they’re supposedly interested!), which can be quite discouraging.
So, what works for you? "
A message that shows that the sender has actually read and understood our profile.
Probably around 90% of what we get haven't, or have chosen to ignore it.
More than half don't even realise that we are not in the UK.
If someone messages us saying that they are in our area and happy to meet in a club then they will get a positive reply.
The others just get binned.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The introduction doesn’t have to be all singing all dancing. It’s the ones who message first then one word and make no effort. Why bother messaging in the first place? |
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I would only reply back if I was intrigued by the profile. The good profile would only had to say a simple but personal sentence to win me over. Pet hates are "hey"... "how are you? “ or something similar... zzzzz |
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