We have been thinking about many of our earlier conversations with people in the scene, and who really holds the power within the D/S relationship and why (Dominant or Submissive)
There have been a great many answers, some can be considered right, others were most definitely wrong!
We would be interested in hearing Everyone’s thoughts on this question, and hopefully we can also help people to identify the right answers |
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"We don’t disagree with you there
But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?"
yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM |
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"We don’t disagree with you there
But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?
yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"
 |
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"We don’t disagree with you there
But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?
yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"
Oooh like it, a spot on answer!
You would be surprised how many times we heard that it was always the dominant who was in control |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"We don’t disagree with you there
But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?
yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM"
As you know I have been saying this for years. In a balanced, constructive D/S relationship it is a mutual balance of power.
However there used to be a view back in the day that the dominant had all the power. This is still expoused by porn and those wanting to exploit subs (putting aside the master and slave situation where the sub consensually and emotionally waives their power, but even then they can back out).
There was a pendulum swing to the polar opposite position some years ago and many people put forward that the sub has all the power. I have disagreed in forums with this position and my back is scarred from debates with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are in this dynamic, neither holds the power, we have mutual respect for each other and have spoken about consensual issues.
I can always use my safe word if needed and daddy will always stop instantly. If I cannot speak we have other signals that I can do to stop play.
However I trust daddy fully to be able to know my limits. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.
Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.
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"We don’t disagree with you there
But devils advocate, does either party have the right to the final word?
yes, the party saying "no" or using their safeword. That applies to anything remotely sexual or in BDSM
As you know I have been saying this for years. In a balanced, constructive D/S relationship it is a mutual balance of power.
However there used to be a view back in the day that the dominant had all the power. This is still expoused by porn and those wanting to exploit subs (putting aside the master and slave situation where the sub consensually and emotionally waives their power, but even then they can back out).
There was a pendulum swing to the polar opposite position some years ago and many people put forward that the sub has all the power. I have disagreed in forums with this position and my back is scarred from debates with them.
"
|
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"First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.
Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.
"
You are very right, given power is stronger than taken! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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always thought that was better to serve and please because wanted to and respected the person enough to give your best, rather than out of fear of what the person may do if you displease
for me knowing i had let someone down was often worst punishment while recognising both dominant and sub are human and can both make mistakes |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
The great thing about kink is that as long as it is done consensually and without abuse it really is different strokes for different folks. The difficult thing about kink is meeting a matching partner/playmate.
Oh and people who don't understand your dynamic saying you are doing it wrong are a downside.
 |
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"First, all relationships are different. If a submissive trusts the Dom knows best then they will give power.
Power given to another through service and trust is much stronger than power taken. Read lessons in servant leadership.
You are very right, given power is stronger than taken!"
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