FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Contacting verifications
Contacting verifications
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
good question. i have twice had people contact me and ask about people i have verified.
i always tell them that my verification is visible and it says all i am willing to say.
mind you i suppose it is a good way of finding out more if you were thinking if a meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No-one that ive verified has said that people have contacted them to ask about me,so I don't honestly know and it does'nt really bother me too much if its happened
Its not something that I would ever do to find out about anyone else though
I did once have someone contact me about a profile I had verified,they started asking all sort of questions about the person and what we had done together,they may have thought that my response was rude as I did'nt think it was any of their business to know those sort of details when there is a verification from me to say that the person is genuine  |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
Only had a couple but they are people I have met anyway and you know us women ..... love a bit of gossip!!!!
But as I said to one of my lovely female friends it is best we make our own opinions of people, I might like someone - she doesn't and vice versa
Be a sad world if we all liked same people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No-one that ive verified has said that people have contacted them to ask about me,so I don't honestly know and it does'nt really bother me too much if its happened
Its not something that I would ever do to find out about anyone else though
I did once have someone contact me about a profile I had verified,they started asking all sort of questions about the person and what we had done together,they may have thought that my response was rude as I did'nt think it was any of their business to know those sort of details when there is a verification from me to say that the person is genuine "
I agree, we only leave and hope to only get veri's to say we/they are genuine. Dont mind people asking those who have verified us about us, but would hope that they dont go into graphic detail…. part and parcel of this lifestyle is discretion.
Steve
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i sopose after a think about it if you had a doubt about a person and you needed to check on them ,its not a sexy match would i be write in saying that . would love a reply
pete  |
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i had a message asking me about someone who had verified me, she thought she was his ex girlfriend, told her to message him and ask him, none of my business, i do think if u left a verification for someone, it should be all u have to say about the meet, after all we are all here as "platers" not as an "information service" for other people  |
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"i sopose after a think about it if you had a doubt about a person and you needed to check on them ,its not a sexy match would i be write in saying that . would love a reply
pete "
Why would you need to contact a total stranger to ask for further detail about another stranger? How much more information do you need if the verification isn't enough? 
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"i had a message asking me about someone who had verified me, she thought she was his ex girlfriend, told her to message him and ask him, none of my business, i do think if u left a verification for someone, it should be all u have to say about the meet, after all we are all here as "platers" not as an "information service" for other people "
My point exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would I be interested in what a prospective meet did with someone else ?
Why would I be interested if someone else thought they were a nice person ?
Am more bothered on how they interact with me, not with someone they met maybe once 18 months ago.
Verifications are pointers and nothing else.
They state someones interpretation at a given point in time - usually in some sort of sexually euphoric comedown - so are likely to be skewed.
They are also at the mercy of what the verified person wants us to see and will mirror how he / she / they wishes to be seen by the members of Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the reasons I keep my verifications hidden.
I like discretion: wouldn't meet someone who wasn't!  "
Do those that you may have verified do the same? I know that not everyone ive verified hides theirs like I do
Thats how I got asked about someone id met,they had seen my verification on someone elses profile |
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"One of the reasons I keep my verifications hidden.
I like discretion: wouldn't meet someone who wasn't!
Do those that you may have verified do the same? I know that not everyone ive verified hides theirs like I do
Thats how I got asked about someone id met,they had seen my verification on someone elses profile"
I've only left one for someone I'd met on another site and it just states he's a good guy. I don't ask for or give any, but you can't do anything about people sending them...just not showing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
None.
Thats not what they are for, and if someone contacted me, asking about someone I had met, I would not respond. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't ever do it.We have had people " check us out" .We think there is room for "nuisance value" ? "
Possibly but unless you stop verifing or accepting them you can't control what people try to find out about others if they're that way inclined
Some people are just nosey buggers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
A few! But so far as I know they do exactly what I do in that situation.
Politely tell the messagers to contact them directly if there's anything they want to know.
It's called discretion!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something that has not happened to us yet, but certainly something to think about. We would definitely not given any additional information to anyone who just contacted us out of the blue. What business is it of theirs, and who the hell are they anyway???
We 'may' give a more, shall we say, 'rounded' review to someone we had already met and played with if they asked about someone on our veris AND they we seriously considering setting up a meet with them, but even then it would be couched in in a way that clearly meant 'caveat emptor'...  |
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On the one hand when you verify someone you are saying you are prepared to give testimony that a person or their profile is genuine, so may be it should be OK for someone else to check you still stand by your testimony.
On the other hand, to ask questions about what you did together is none of their business.
Back to the other hand and people might be a bit more honest in a private message.
But back on the other hand, there are some people who might see it as their post being pissed on.
Back to the first hand and it could be useful to have a quick chat to get a little niggle out of the way for instance.
This is getting to be a bit like men on cam in the chatroom... hands tossing back and forth.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the one hand when you verify someone you are saying you are prepared to give testimony that a person or their profile is genuine, so may be it should be OK for someone else to check you still stand by your testimony.
On the other hand, to ask questions about what you did together is none of their business.
Back to the other hand and people might be a bit more honest in a private message.
But back on the other hand, there are some people who might see it as their post being pissed on.
Back to the first hand and it could be useful to have a quick chat to get a little niggle out of the way for instance.
This is getting to be a bit like men on cam in the chatroom... hands tossing back and forth.
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If only we all had more than two hands!!
Think of the fun we could have!!  |
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
A man that I know sent a message to 2 women that had verified me saying that he knew me and asked for a meet. They both turned him down. So he sent them another message saying that he'd been chatting to me and that I'd told him that they were boring and useless. One of them believed him and blocked me. Luckily the other one informed of what had taken place and I managed to convince her that I had not chatted to him lately. So I blocked him. Same sort of thing was happening to my friends list a fefw months ago so I decided to hide it. Makes me wonder if it was the same rat.  |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Had someone contact some of my veries and friends list about me. Was a bit unnerving tbh, hence why mine are hidden, even though those I met previously have left the site still like my own privacy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been contacted a few times as well asking about the man etc, one even got nasty saying he was supposed to be with her that night.... that's the reason why I'm hiding my verifications and my friends list too. No one's bloody business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
Not got a clue to be honest; but thanks for those that do makes it all good fun lol |
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I know of at least one occasion where someone who was considering a meet contacted someone who had verified me - as it was a single female doing the asking, the female of the couple contacted was happy to let her know that I was genuine, trustworthy, etc., and then in turn let me know that someone was showing interest in me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has only 1 Personal Meet / verification & Im quite proud to have met that person/s
;-) I havent had anyone asking bout my Verifications or anyone letting me know that someone has asked my Verifier to what Im like in person. I guess Im just not interesting enough?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People actually do this??!!!
Apparently so!"
I couldnt quite believe this myself. If people cant read a profile / verification / chat on a phone / cam or whatever, to work out if they want to meet someone, then they shouldnt being using sex sites online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the people that possibly view my profile several times a week ...it does slightly irritate me...if they are...but then thats not my problem really, as long as they dont say they know me etc etc when they dont(thats happened a few times..and thankfully my friends(of various levels) have asked me if i know the twat in question) |
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"People actually do this??!!!
Apparently so!"
And there we have the eternal problem which will get forumed about on a continual basis.
People who hide there verifications get accused of being fakes. People who publish their verifications get plagued by fruit loop fuckwits!
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a double-edged sword.
Genuine questions such as "is he really over 6'?"
"Is he well hung and not a jackhammer style kind of guy?"
Then you get the ones who are nosey and like to think they're a private inspector. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people do you think contact your verifications to find out about you ? "
no idea, ive never had anyone contact me to ask about anyone ive met so im assuming its not a regular thing |
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I've had the "I'm a friend of a friend of yours..." approach too. Only thing is, is that they underestimated the power of communication, and a quick phone call to the "real" friend discovered that the trick had been played in reverse too, with the hoaxer claiming to be my friend already...too bad they got booted and banned all round.
The thing is, we are now in the Facebook era, and getting used to the "your friend Fred has X Y & Z as his friends, invite them to become your friends too" culture, so if there are verifications, the conversation may start about what people think about X, but it also gives an in-road into continuing a conversation that may lead to other things...Not yet decided if that is a good or a bad thing though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happened to me last time I was on here, I also got abuse for playing with 'that couple but not us, we're so much better than them!' which is why since that day I hid them, and now I ask people not to verify me.
If someone wants to know about me I will give them the name of one of my 'friends' on here, and they are happy to say yes, she is what and who she claims to be. Not being verified also has a bonus of reducing my inbox slightly.
I would never give out information though, without asking the person first. And then I would only say what I believe is still discreet, but permitted by the said person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have done this only once. We agreed to meet a guy who had a couple of positive verifications.
On the night agreed we were left waiting in the pub for the guy as he failed to show.
I contacted the people who gave him the positive verifications only to be told by both women that although they had met him, afterwards he had acted really weird & one explained that he had let down a number of other couples with no shows.
Not sure what we gained from contacting these people except to learn that even positive verifications are of very limited value.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had anyone contact me for a review...just to badmouth a guy I had met and claim he had given them an STI. He hadn't, he'd just knocked her bad for a second meet (he showed me clap clinic results and I got checked too...both were all clear).
A couple of my veris have been asked about me. One must have been sent a very creepy message as he contacted me by text and on here to tell me I was not to meet a certain profile and advised that I blocked it before the guy messaged me. May be a little weird, but may also be a blessing in disguise! x |
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I asked one girl about a guy I was meeting but we were friendly anyway and I just wanted to double check this guy as I was going to his without a social meet first. Was more to check he wasn't a creepy serial killer than being nosey about their meet. |
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"I asked one girl about a guy I was meeting but we were friendly anyway and I just wanted to double check this guy as I was going to his without a social meet first. Was more to check he wasn't a creepy serial killer than being nosey about their meet."
Creepy serial killers don't kill every woman they come in contact with. Most are charming and urbane...by all accounts! |
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"I asked one girl about a guy I was meeting but we were friendly anyway and I just wanted to double check this guy as I was going to his without a social meet first. Was more to check he wasn't a creepy serial killer than being nosey about their meet.
Creepy serial killers don't kill every woman they come in contact with. Most are charming and urbane...by all accounts! "
That is TRUE but at least she could tell the police where I had last been if bits of me started arriving in the post! |
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