FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > When "no thank you" is not enough.
When "no thank you" is not enough.
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So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’ve no need to explain.. if someone asks you out in a bar and you turn them down you don’t have to explain... if you’re being kind enough to give a “no thank you” they should take that as it says, “no, but thanks for asking...” |
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I actually do explain as it will maybe help them in the future. The truth hurts but i mean well. If they do not have pics or a good bio i will tell them or if they are not what i am looking for then i remind them how important it is to read profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends. We may say generally they're not what we're looking for or there's no attraction. Also lots of guys message us whose profile says they're only looking to meet women - we always tell them no thanks and why (we only meet as a couple so we're obviously not what they're looking for). |
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To be honest... A genuine 'No thanks' is all it needs.
Everyone drinks there tea differently. Those that dont understand this (I'm afraid mainly single males) just dont understand the lifestyle and boundaries. |
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"we dont bother explaining why no thanks is a polite enough answer
No thanks should be enough but i find more asking why so i always reply honestly to them.
"
When I did the same they'd want to use my reasons to negotiate.
It's not a negotiation. My no is final
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The first "no thanks" should be enough. If you feel like telling them why, and you have the time and inclination to do so, then go ahead. But after that I would simply block the other person to prevent any further communication. |
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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?."
ignore and block. i block the non replying and deleters after a certain time to save me bothering them again and wasting both our times.
fab disclaimer; must be thick skinned to use Fabs! |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
I always appreciate a 'no thank you' or 'you're not for me' but being honest I just expect a delete with no reply. But then I've been around long enough to know how it works. I would never ask 'why not' because I probably wouldn't like the answer! Even if I was expecting it. However if someone were to ask, then the truth would be best. Hopefully they can handle it. |
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"The first "no thanks" should be enough. If you feel like telling them why, and you have the time and inclination to do so, then go ahead. But after that I would simply block the other person to prevent any further communication. "
I only explain why if they ask. I feel i owe them an explaination. Am i too soft? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been brutal in the past and simply said, "I don't find you attractive". (That was to a woman btw).
Which should be obvious really....if you did find someone attractive then you'd be keen to speak more.
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"So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?."
You should not bother with any other action beyond a block
Block them
A takes no time
B they know you have rejected them and not overlooked them
C they cannot bother you if they are an arse
Fab guide lines are wrong
Fab suggests no reply automatically means no interest
This is fundamentally wrong and ambiguous as ladies can receive so much mail they DO overlook messages
Fab should suggest blocking rejected profiles as an efficient method of clarity
And tell the men that moan
Blocking is not rude it just means they have zero interest in any interaction with you get over it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just delete any follow up messages.
It usually works but I do have a very persistent trans profile that just won’t give up, I’d normally block but the messages she sends are actually hilarious
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I get a message back saying no thanks not what we're looking for I'll just reply ok thanks no worries then, I really don't see the use throwing a strop wether it's one knock back or a thousand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess the curiosity in me would like to know if it was something very minor that I could fix for to help with future communications with other females.
But I could not email and ask the reason why if someone had said no thanks to me, I'm not owed that explanation and really anyone is not owed that explanation, if theres no interest then it's end of story.
I just always presume I'm not their type and if it was something off putting I don't think 2nd chances are really going to come. |
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"The first "no thanks" should be enough. If you feel like telling them why, and you have the time and inclination to do so, then go ahead. But after that I would simply block the other person to prevent any further communication.
I only explain why if they ask. I feel i owe them an explaination. Am i too soft?"
Unfortunately yes. It's an admirable trait but many take advantage of that here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say no thanks. If they as why I say cos you are not my type. If they ask how not, they get blocked,
I do this is mainy cos I am a fucking bitch with no filter at times and if I told them why they are not my type, I may hurt their feelings.
So I chose the line, if you have not got anything nice to say, say nothing at all. |
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I seldom block as find that harsh if they have done me no wrong. If they ask why then i am blunt and honest. If their profile is boring and they have no pics i tell them. Maybe they are not for me but a bit of advice may make them make a few changes which may help them in the future. |
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We get plenty of messages and only respond to "interesting" ones lol....ping pong long winded messaging is a waste of everybodies time and people should grow up and deal with the fact we dont all fancy each other..thank the lord for the block button |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
I don't think there's any need to explain yourself, if you've said no it should be obvious that they are not what you're looking for.
That said, I can see why some guys might think it would be useful to know why - its easy to get worked up about why, what's wrong with me, and all that. Especially when it happens time after time. Some attach too much weight to it, when really it's just a case of 'not my type' and hundreds of guys for every woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people ask why we always tell them, some think they can change your minds so making it clear why the attraction isn't there usually stops the pestering types.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?."
I think its nice when someone takes the time to reply with a no thanks. I always reply back with a quick, no probs, thanks anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if someone is respectful and pleasant then knowing why can help them. It can feel quite cold when you’re sending pleasant messages and get zero back. |
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"So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?.
I think its nice when someone takes the time to reply with a no thanks. I always reply back with a quick, no probs, thanks anyway"
This.  |
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"I think if someone is respectful and pleasant then knowing why can help them. It can feel quite cold when you’re sending pleasant messages and get zero back. "
That is what i think. Must be soul destroying for men on here.x |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
OMG we had that once and to be honest the person thought they were gods gift to us. They replied I am bi and you should be happy to get someone who is. We said again no thank you. Why they ask. BECAUSE YOU ASKED WHY makes it more of a definite.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OMG we had that once and to be honest the person thought they were gods gift to us. They replied I am bi and you should be happy to get someone who is. We said again no thank you. Why they ask. BECAUSE YOU ASKED WHY makes it more of a definite.
"
I got a response of 'you should be grateful a woman even messaged you'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if someone is respectful and pleasant then knowing why can help them. It can feel quite cold when you’re sending pleasant messages and get zero back.
That is what i think. Must be soul destroying for men on here.x"
Not really, I think those who have been here a while and understand this world know that a no thanks is sufficent, no explanation is needed.
Those who message with “quick bang” or “want me 2 lIck u?” Are the sort who should just get deleted.
Ultimately the ones who can handle rejection (with or without explanation) are the ones who will stick around and those who expect things to progress quickly will always see it as a negotiation.
Personally I would say no thanks, and if asked why would tell them I don’t owe them an explanation and can meet who I wish.
If they messaged for a third time the. i would block. |
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"So like loads of other women i get alot of messages. Obviously easy enough to say "no thank you" to those who do not appeal but what do you do with those who ask why?. Do you ignore or explain to them why they are not for you?."
At least you take the time to reply with a no thank you message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the people we have said no to have been gracious and just said ok thanks for replying.
Some - as is always the case - not so nice and then Mr usually takes over the answers.
One the other day refused to take no for an answer, he had to be blocked. |
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"I actually do explain as it will maybe help them in the future. The truth hurts but i mean well. If they do not have pics or a good bio i will tell them or if they are not what i am looking for then i remind them how important it is to read profiles."
I tend to do this. Though if they continue to pester then I may tell them the truth in a blunt way.
Depends on my mood. I also often block after saying no thanks so that this cannot happen  |
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"The first "no thanks" should be enough. If you feel like telling them why, and you have the time and inclination to do so, then go ahead. But after that I would simply block the other person to prevent any further communication.
I only explain why if they ask. I feel i owe them an explaination. Am i too soft?"
No id say your a considerate caring person |
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We always try and give a polite no thanks - but literally not 1 hour ago we said no to someone, gave a polite reason and yet still they act like it's a negotiation, pushing and trying it on.
If you can't accept a polite no - you will never accept an no in the heat of the moment! |
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"We always try and give a polite no thanks - but literally not 1 hour ago we said no to someone, gave a polite reason and yet still they act like it's a negotiation, pushing and trying it on.
If you can't accept a polite no - you will never accept an no in the heat of the moment!"
This is exactly it.
I'd rather find out you don't respect consent online. |
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Nobody needs to explain anything to us. We dont even mind if we dont get a no thank you.
If someone does not reply to us, we leave it at that. I really dont get why other people care so much about it. |
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