I am fairly new to the scene and am never sure what is the right approach to take when contacting people. Some profiles I look at state no winks or no one liners etc so are easy to determine whether to send a wink, a message, a friend request.
As a rule I don't bother sending a wink but usually a message with a few words about myself and what I am drawn to in their profile. Occasionally I might accompany that with a friend request. I very rarely get a response of any sort back.
Now this is not one of those winging whiny posts about hard done by male's I completely accept that is just the way it is. And to be fair I am not gods gift either  .
What I'm after is just to find out what the accepted way of initiating contact and how they see it as progressing. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I am fairly new to the scene and am never sure what is the right approach to take when contacting people. Some profiles I look at state no winks or no one liners etc so are easy to determine whether to send a wink, a message, a friend request.
As a rule I don't bother sending a wink but usually a message with a few words about myself and what I am drawn to in their profile. Occasionally I might accompany that with a friend request. I very rarely get a response of any sort back.
Now this is not one of those winging whiny posts about hard done by male's I completely accept that is just the way it is. And to be fair I am not gods gift either .
What I'm after is just to find out what the accepted way of initiating contact and how they see it as progressing. "
I d suggest to read profiles carefully, identify common ground if and where possible and put together a short but interesting message. That would get my/our attention more so than a wink or friend invite. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I d suggest to read profiles carefully, identify common ground if and where possible and put together a short but interesting message. That would get my/our attention more so than a wink or friend invite. Good luck  "
And even if you get an initial reply there's no guarantee that it will be of the same quality as your initial message.
Many will respond if you've put in sufficient thought and effort. Others will still delete. Such is life!
Others will go that extra step to dissapoint you - replying, asking for face pics - then deleting instantly and cutting you dead, without so much as a thanks for the pics but no thanks!
Again such is life - so simply move on and don't dwell! |
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"I am fairly new to the scene and am never sure what is the right approach to take when contacting people. Some profiles I look at state no winks or no one liners etc so are easy to determine whether to send a wink, a message, a friend request.
As a rule I don't bother sending a wink but usually a message with a few words about myself and what I am drawn to in their profile. Occasionally I might accompany that with a friend request. I very rarely get a response of any sort back.
Now this is not one of those winging whiny posts about hard done by male's I completely accept that is just the way it is. And to be fair I am not gods gift either .
What I'm after is just to find out what the accepted way of initiating contact and how they see it as progressing.
I d suggest to read profiles carefully, identify common ground if and where possible and put together a short but interesting message. That would get my/our attention more so than a wink or friend invite. Good luck "
Hi Thanks for that. It is pretty much what I do but maybe I need to keep it a bit more brief. I can go on a bit sometimes |
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
Just be patient...
Most of the time if females and couples are looking for males to join them, they will find you...
I guess the most important thing and bit of advice people give is to make your message and profile stand out from all the thousands of others who are looking and offering for the same thing. |
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"
And even if you get an initial reply there's no guarantee that it will be of the same quality as your initial message.
Many will respond if you've put in sufficient thought and effort. Others will still delete. Such is life!
Others will go that extra step to dissapoint you - replying, asking for face pics - then deleting instantly and cutting you dead, without so much as a thanks for the pics but no thanks!
Again such is life - so simply move on and don't dwell! "
When I do get a reply that's what seems to happen. Hence my wondering about the etiquette side of things. Most ignore, a small number respond either with a wink or a friend invite but when I try to communicate with them it dies or goes nowhere. Don't get me wrong its not a case of 'lets fuck'. I'm only trying to strike up some kind of dialogue to get to know people. Ok I would hope it goes somewhere eventually but I am by no means pushing for that from day one. Unless of course they are after a meet for that night .
I wont pester people so do quickly move on. As I say I'm fairly new on the scene and finding my way around and like to ask questions.
Thanks for your reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're 1 fish in a sea of 400+ emails a female profile can get in a week.
Most men are sad enough to make multiple accounts and just spam...this is why I can never understand some men.
They get blocked right across the board, no success there so you'd think they'd cut their losses and leave.
Wrong.
Same guys delete their old account and create a new one and do it all over again.
They confuse me tbh. |
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"Just be patient...
Most of the time if females and couples are looking for males to join them, they will find you...
I guess the most important thing and bit of advice people give is to make your message and profile stand out from all the thousands of others who are looking and offering for the same thing."
I'm told I have a good profile but I'm not sure that it stands out. Must put my thinking cap on and see what I can do about that
Any hints or suggestions to help me stand out from the madding crowd? |
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"i like the wink system, and messaging.I'd never send a frineds req on a first msg tho..."
No I dot tend to send a friend request as a rule. Very occasionally if I've sent a message but usually wait until I have struck up some kind of dialogue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're 1 fish in a sea of 400+ emails a female profile can get in a week.
Most men are sad enough to make multiple accounts and just spam...this is why I can never understand some men.
They get blocked right across the board, no success there so you'd think they'd cut their losses and leave.
Wrong.
Same guys delete their old account and create a new one and do it all over again.
They confuse me tbh."
Why would it confuse u? lol..they're only out to get their hole...even if previously denied lol |
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"You're 1 fish in a sea of 400+ emails a female profile can get in a week.
Most men are sad enough to make multiple accounts and just spam...this is why I can never understand some men.
They get blocked right across the board, no success there so you'd think they'd cut their losses and leave.
Wrong.
Same guys delete their old account and create a new one and do it all over again.
They confuse me tbh.
Why would it confuse u? lol..they're only out to get their hole...even if previously denied lol"
I know of at least one person who set up a couple of profiles because he thought his Bi profile was off putting for straight women/couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Why would it confuse u? lol..they're only out to get their hole...even if previously denied lol"
They wont ever get in though.
I browsed this site last year and saw the typical guy profiles as a means of seeing what is good and what is terrible profile-wise.
They have new profiles a lot of them and I guarantee that they've had several along the way. |
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