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Genuine dominants
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women "
You're either joking or delusional  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests."
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women
You're either joking or delusional "
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women "
Hmmm I wouldn’t say that would be dominant that’s just being assertive. Big difference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women
You're either joking or delusional "
Huh your either bitter or twisted
How's that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women
Hmmm I wouldn’t say that would be dominant that’s just being assertive. Big difference "
It's foreplay.. you don't just jump in do you when it's at work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women
You're either joking or delusional
Huh your either bitter or twisted
How's that "
 I'm neither bitter or twisted enough to give a shit what a stranger on the internet thinks of me.
Try it...its quite liberating really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly many men have no idea what a Dom is on Fab, don’t understand its more of a mental aspect than a physical one at time’s and also don’t take the time to listen and ask questions of the sub to be an affective Dom.
There is hope however, myself and kitten have come across a few genuine doms who have been respectful and articulate. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly many men have no idea what a Dom is on Fab, don’t understand its more of a mental aspect than a physical one at time’s and also don’t take the time to listen and ask questions of the sub to be an affective Dom.
There is hope however, myself and kitten have come across a few genuine doms who have been respectful and articulate. "
Totally agree. A good dominant will take care of his sub outside of play I like mine to bathe me brush my hair etc that can then be incorporated into play time. I had one guy who would always put my hair into a plait and then I knew it was play time. It’s the little things. Submission is so much more than just giving your body and dominance is more than just being rough and brutal. Some of the best times I’ve had with “doms” have actually been fairly gentle...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you find more than one, please send them my way....
Someone has just mentioned informed consent. I miss that site. I do wonder if we could get something similar going again "
Ooh not heard of that one. I’m not techy enough to make a new site but if you do let me know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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D/S relationships can be very intense and very rewarding, it’s so refreshing to be able to lay yourself bare and express yourself with no boundaries and put another’s desires as your priority.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m following with interest. I’m generally sub but finding myself having some Dom tendencies at the moment. I would love to explore this with a trusting sub who is willing to guide me about what they want from the relationship x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m following with interest. I’m generally sub but finding myself having some Dom tendencies at the moment. I would love to explore this with a trusting sub who is willing to guide me about what they want from the relationship x"
That means you’re switch if you can do both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m following with interest. I’m generally sub but finding myself having some Dom tendencies at the moment. I would love to explore this with a trusting sub who is willing to guide me about what they want from the relationship x
That means you’re switch if you can do both x"
I a switch, that way you not only get best of both worlds but a deeper understanding of what it takes in each role to really create and enjoyable time |
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"Good luck!
In my experience, anyone declaring themself a Dom on fab, usually isn't.
Don’t I know it but fet life is too quiet. "
It may seem quite compared to the quite fast moving format that is here on fab ... which is by the the way just that Fab .. You’ve just got to approach fet in a different way , there is a lot more networking to do ,, Harder to navigate perhaps but just as busy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello OP....
I don't use those terms, but I am on Fet, and very experienced in all things BDSM and D/s.....no labels, just good quality, balanced play. All boundaries, consent and safety being paramount.
Fully clear and understanding of all dynamics and evolution of play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me "
I agree. I’m on both and I much prefer it here. It’s more user friendly, and the location search is good.
A lot of people on the other site set their location to Antarctica .
You can definitely find what you’re looking for on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
I agree. I’m on both and I much prefer it here. It’s more user friendly, and the location search is good.
A lot of people on the other site set their location to Antarctica .
You can definitely find what you’re looking for on here. "
Fet isn't really a contact site though is it - it's more for content sharing, events and connections but it has never been primarily a contact site like this one. One of the reasons I never understand why Mods on here don't like it getting a mention is that exact reason.
Fet is basically Facebook for perverts. |
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I wouldn't class my self as a dominant as I dont have enough experience yet. But I much prefer to take the lead(physically and metaphorically). I much prefer to set boundaries before I meet someone so I know how far i can push. Still learning my way atm. |
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By *arksxMan
over a year ago
Leicester / London |
"Sadly many men have no idea what a Dom is on Fab, don’t understand its more of a mental aspect than a physical one at time’s and also don’t take the time to listen and ask questions of the sub to be an affective Dom.
There is hope however, myself and kitten have come across a few genuine doms who have been respectful and articulate. "
 the mental/physical dynamic is list on a lot of people.
Most ment don't understand how to provide it
And alot of women new to being submissive can not articulate in words the emotions it makes them feel.
Sadly that can turn into just a porno grunting session with no mental mind body connection.
Im here for the mental intimacy as much and physical... If that's your thing pm me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello OP....
I don't use those terms, but I am on Fet, and very experienced in all things BDSM and D/s.....no labels, just good quality, balanced play. All boundaries, consent and safety being paramount.
Fully clear and understanding of all dynamics and evolution of play."
Sounds good.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Happy to chat. Very good at mental Domming and no distance is too far for a weekend eventually;) Feel free to PM.xx"
Slightly older than my preferred age range I’m afraid. Xx |
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"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
I agree. I’m on both and I much prefer it here. It’s more user friendly, and the location search is good.
A lot of people on the other site set their location to Antarctica .
You can definitely find what you’re looking for on here.
Fet isn't really a contact site though is it - it's more for content sharing, events and connections but it has never been primarily a contact site like this one. One of the reasons I never understand why Mods on here don't like it getting a mention is that exact reason.
Fet is basically Facebook for perverts."
For me a D/ s relationship has to be as Articulate as much as it needs to be fulfilling sexually . I agree the two sites differ , this site being by far the most sexually explosive of the pair .. the other more a walk in the park admiring the scenery , however with a fair chance of bumping into someone whom is an admirer of said same scenery .. Contact is contact from whence ever it may come from ...
I further agree with you on the “ Mods “ and the ban on not mentioning said site .. it’s not like it’s difficult to get round .. and everyone knows what you are on about when you say the “ other site “ |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me "
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that "
Everyone's an expert, everyone's a Dom - most of them haven't got a clue. 50 shades of shite it ain't. |
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The problem is everyone has their own definition of Dom. So you have to be clearer what is it you are looking for than just Dom. If you find what you are looking for message them because they don't know who you are and what you are looking for. You'll get a lot more open respond like that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that "
The best dominants are the ones with lived experiences not book readers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that "
Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that
The best dominants are the ones with lived experiences not book readers. "
very true |
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"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that "
Oh this is so true .. it’s so refreshing to see someone write this .. BDSM .. or so it is called is so in danger of disappearing up it’s own ass of theory , it’s almost oblivious to its own origins of sexual lust and desire ..
I always hit them with a few “ De Sade “ quotes and try to act all knowledge.. soon shuts em up .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that
Oh this is so true .. it’s so refreshing to see someone write this .. BDSM .. or so it is called is so in danger of disappearing up it’s own ass of theory , it’s almost oblivious to its own origins of sexual lust and desire ..
I always hit them with a few “ De Sade “ quotes and try to act all knowledge.. soon shuts em up .. "
I firmly believe that you’re either Dom or sub or in between bit you can’t teach it. It’s either there or it’s not. Just my opinion obviously. |
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"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that
Oh this is so true .. it’s so refreshing to see someone write this .. BDSM .. or so it is called is so in danger of disappearing up it’s own ass of theory , it’s almost oblivious to its own origins of sexual lust and desire ..
I always hit them with a few “ De Sade “ quotes and try to act all knowledge.. soon shuts em up .. I firmly believe that you’re either Dom or sub or in between bit you can’t teach it. It’s either there or it’s not. Just my opinion obviously. "
I agree in principle of not perhaps on point .. Lust and desire never need to be taught ,, Somehow though there are those that suggest we cannot be trusted with our own Lusts or Desires and we must earn a certificate of honour to prove we are worthy ..
There’s a reason though that a woman or man is “ safe “ with me though , and it’s exactly the same reason I don’t rush into your house , bash you over the head and steal your Television set .. It’s because I’m a civilised human being .. with a consciounce .. and that happened long before I entered my first club or Shibari the safe and only way meeting .. Whilst i not against passing on wisdom and education I am against presumption that everyone else is a dim wit ...
There are those who write on thease forums labelling others as “ Dim Dom’s “”
That’s a pretty high pedestal to sit oneself on .. Watch you don’t fall and break your neck , won’t you |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion"
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good Luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dom without a capitol D or sub with a capital s says everything to a true Dom. First level of respect. Says everything about pretenders"
That’s like when talking about DDlg daddy is always capital. Always taught to respect my elders. |
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By *palWoman
over a year ago
The Bermuda Triangle in Suffolk |
I have over the years met a few genuine Dom's on here and have great memories. I am not looking for one at the moment but should one contact me that doesn't live too far, I would be interested in having a chat. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Dom without a capitol D or sub with a capital s says everything to a true Dom. First level of respect. Says everything about pretenders"
Seriously, in general conversation you find that a test of who is a "Twew Dom"!
Using "Twew Dom" and "Twew Sub" says something about a person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dom without a capitol D or sub with a capital s says everything to a true Dom. First level of respect. Says everything about pretenders
That’s like when talking about DDlg daddy is always capital. Always taught to respect my elders. "
|
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"D/S relationships can be very intense and very rewarding, it’s so refreshing to be able to lay yourself bare and express yourself with no boundaries and put another’s desires as your priority.
"
It’s this intensity and shedding of inhibitions that I love when exploring Dom and sun fantasies. It’s what makes it as sensual and erotic as a passionate vanilla relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dom without a capitol D or sub with a capital s says everything to a true Dom. First level of respect. Says everything about pretenders
That’s like when talking about DDlg daddy is always capital. Always taught to respect my elders. "
as it should be of course.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good Luck"
A true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good LuckA true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ??"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good LuckA true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ??"
happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good LuckA true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ??happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx"
You doubt my authenticity as much as you like but I’ve declined previously due to the age gap nothing more. 49/50 would be my top end.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good LuckA true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ??happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx
You doubt my authenticity as much as you like but I’ve declined previously due to the age gap nothing more. 49/50 would be my top end.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good LuckA true Dom will always fuck
your mind before your body. ??happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx
You doubt my authenticity as much as you like but I’ve declined previously due to the age gap nothing more. 49/50 would be my top end.
"
No issue.but better to talk to an old genuine Dom than young pretenders. All the same to me;)xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dom without a capitol D or sub with a capital s says everything to a true Dom. First level of respect. Says everything about pretenders
Seriously, in general conversation you find that a test of who is a "Twew Dom"!
Using "Twew Dom" and "Twew Sub" says something about a person."
??? |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Is this a little like Spartacus...
I’m Spartacus!
No, I’m Spartacus.
There is a great native people saying.
“You can dream about hunting Buffalo. You can talk about hunting Buffalo. You can visualise hunting Buffalo. Until you have hunted Buffalo you know nothing”.
Makes me wonder how many real Buffalo hunters there are on here.
Me (off the forums) I think I could count them on one hand, and one of them has left the site.
 |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then..."
This post has lost its purpose and become a kink shaming / one up man ship show.
I literally just wanted to find someone like minded.
I’m a sad minxy now. I just wanted to find my silver fox dominant gent who’d put me over his knee and tell me I’m a good girl |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then..."
Ps you can teach me anytime if that’s your thing?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
isn't it maybe about those people that take control - with a small c.
Almost " leadership" in a meet.
I love doing that and having the naughty ideas on where we should explore
Dominance isn't the right word maybe but often used xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then...
This post has lost its purpose and become a kink shaming / one up man ship show.
I literally just wanted to find someone like minded.
I’m a sad minxy now. I just wanted to find my silver fox dominant gent who’d put me over his knee and tell me I’m a good girl "
I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx |
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"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then..."
Out of interest Did you arrive at virtue without acquainting oneself with vice ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then...
This post has lost its purpose and become a kink shaming / one up man ship show.
I literally just wanted to find someone like minded.
I’m a sad minxy now. I just wanted to find my silver fox dominant gent who’d put me over his knee and tell me I’m a good girl I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx"
There’s older then there’s old enough to be my dad and not in the daddy sense. I’m 28 so 40s is old enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then...
This post has lost its purpose and become a kink shaming / one up man ship show.
I literally just wanted to find someone like minded.
I’m a sad minxy now. I just wanted to find my silver fox dominant gent who’d put me over his knee and tell me I’m a good girl I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx
There’s older then there’s old enough to be my dad and not in the daddy sense. I’m 28 so 40s is old enough for me. "
I know what you mean but 50 is the new 40 lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh wow. I have just read through the rest of the thread...
So...
I am one of the people who says 'natural dominance' is eye roll worthy and 100% advocate learning, education and reading into the theory of the subject. Anything, including mannerisms and thought pattern can be taught
I also write dominant without a capital D. I sometimes capitalise a capital S...
Guess I had better hand in my BDSM card and stop teaching and running events then...
This post has lost its purpose and become a kink shaming / one up man ship show.
I literally just wanted to find someone like minded.
I’m a sad minxy now. I just wanted to find my silver fox dominant gent who’d put me over his knee and tell me I’m a good girl I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx
There’s older then there’s old enough to be my dad and not in the daddy sense. I’m 28 so 40s is old enough for me. "
Sure. Totally respect that. Just don’t see many Silver Foxes in their 40’s so thought it a strange term. Anyhow. Good luck with your search and sorry for challenging some of your comments but that’s the Dom in me. Off to bed. Goodnight.x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else bored of ‘this isn’t an Fet/dating/masterbaker etc’ site? If Fab offers other people’s experience and it helps you on the way to your dream then is that not a good thing?
  "
m
YES |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Just don’t see many Silver Foxes in their 40’s so thought it a strange term. Anyhow. Good luck with your search and sorry for challenging some of your comments but that’s the Dom in me. Off to bed. Goodnight.x"
Most men I know have started to go grey at 40... Two of the men in my life have been silver foxes since their 30's though and there is something quite hot about that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just don’t see many Silver Foxes in their 40’s so thought it a strange term. Anyhow. Good luck with your search and sorry for challenging some of your comments but that’s the Dom in me. Off to bed. Goodnight.x
Most men I know have started to go grey at 40... Two of the men in my life have been silver foxes since their 30's though and there is something quite hot about that."
Agree! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx"
Wow, not an authentic sub because she politely declined your offer.
Followed by this passive/aggressive bullshit;
" No issue.but better to talk to an old genuine Dom than young pretenders. All the same to me;)xx"
And capped off with faux misunderstanding when the lady gave her boundaries quite clearly earlier in the thread;
" I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx"
This is the kind of shit that puts people off and makes them distrust those who consensual engage with others and respect their boundaries.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx
Wow, not an authentic sub because she politely declined your offer.
Followed by this passive/aggressive bullshit;
No issue.but better to talk to an old genuine Dom than young pretenders. All the same to me;)xx
And capped off with faux misunderstanding when the lady gave her boundaries quite clearly earlier in the thread;
I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx
This is the kind of shit that puts people off and makes them distrust those who consensual engage with others and respect their boundaries.
"
Amen!!!!! My thoughts exactly. There’s dominant and then there is pushy! |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"Just don’t see many Silver Foxes in their 40’s so thought it a strange term. Anyhow. Good luck with your search and sorry for challenging some of your comments but that’s the Dom in me. Off to bed. Goodnight.x
Most men I know have started to go grey at 40... Two of the men in my life have been silver foxes since their 30's though and there is something quite hot about that.
Agree! X"
I started going grey at the ripe old age of 18. Just thought I'd put that out there...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm one of those naturally outgoing, assertive people who takes charge of pretty much all situations when there is a requirement to do so, work or social.
Most people who meet me would probably say that I'm a go with the flow, chilled, relaxed person until a need or situation arises when someone needs to take control.
I'm pretty much always calm and collected and rarely lose my temper, I can do though.
This leads to more than a few assuming that I'm a bit of a Dom, to be fair there are certain aspects I now appreciate and partake in, but only do I appreciate that after speaking to many kind people, both Doms and probably more insightfuly subs.
I'll never be a 24/7 Master or Dom, nor do I want to be, but I do appreciate and respect those who actually can give themselves completely either way, giving control or assuming responsibility to or for a person are massive responsibilities.
Sorry, just a random collection of thought and nowt insightful.
Bloke. |
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"happy to chat if you wish but declined previously which makes me doubt your authenticity. No issue either way to me.xx
Wow, not an authentic sub because she politely declined your offer.
Followed by this passive/aggressive bullshit;
No issue.but better to talk to an old genuine Dom than young pretenders. All the same to me;)xx
And capped off with faux misunderstanding when the lady gave her boundaries quite clearly earlier in the thread;
I thought a silver fox was,naturally an older gent but you’re not looking for anyone older? Not a dig. Just confused.xx
This is the kind of shit that puts people off and makes them distrust those who consensual engage with others and respect their boundaries.
Amen!!!!! My thoughts exactly. There’s dominant and then there is pushy! "
With elements of desperation!!
so many ways of saying no. Countered by more attempts to engage. Sometimes it's better to bow out gracefully instead of making an ass of yourself. Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just don’t see many Silver Foxes in their 40’s so thought it a strange term. Anyhow. Good luck with your search and sorry for challenging some of your comments but that’s the Dom in me. Off to bed. Goodnight.x
Most men I know have started to go grey at 40... Two of the men in my life have been silver foxes since their 30's though and there is something quite hot about that.
Agree! X
I started going grey at the ripe old age of 18. Just thought I'd put that out there...
"
And you’re bloody gorgeous so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm surprised at work when I have to tell ladies to move or stop what they are doing or don't smoke to close to me how all of a sudden they get all submissive and the eyes light up ..
Funny thing women
You're either joking or delusional "
Latter probably |
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"Where are you?
I don’t just mean someone who likes a hard shag. Anyone knows it’s more than that.
"
Sadly iam not sure many do. There are a lot of people out there that think Pain is the goal. No its not! Pleasure is the goal!
Fantasy and control (of the urges of the Dom) the traits of the true Dom. Anyone reading the Story of O will understand that it is the Sub who is in ultamate control!
Dom play is about giving not taking. Both parties giving pleasure to the other. Surrendering your own desires to those of the other.
Sadly thier are too many selfish frauds out there who have no concept about this. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I really think there a lot of people on this site who just do bedroom bondage and are not out and about in their local scene and have not seen the whole range and complexity that D/S relationships take.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I really think there a lot of people on this site who just do bedroom bondage and are not out and about in their local scene and have not seen the whole range and complexity that D/S relationships take.
"
I call them weekenders. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its the quieter ones of us that you need to watch, shame you are so far away op"
I know damn living in the most beautiful part of the country but being so far from everyone else. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Its the quieter ones of us that you need to watch, shame you are so far away op
I know damn living in the most beautiful part of the country but being so far from everyone else. "
I'll fight you for most beautiful part of the country. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its the quieter ones of us that you need to watch, shame you are so far away op
I know damn living in the most beautiful part of the country but being so far from everyone else.
I'll fight you for most beautiful part of the country. "
I’m submissive I don’t fight hehe but you can definitely spank me til I change my mind?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Each to their own but I find the whole sub dom thing a bit cringey and contrived"
Like you say each to their own. It’s usually due to lack of understand but as this post shows we’ve had a lot of mixed opinions and kink shaming. Don’t like it don’t comment. Simples. Enjoy what you enjoy and let others have their fun. |
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So I’ve never really cared for D or d or whatever. On occasion I would do high protocol play and then it mattered but I knew who and what I was and I know who my playmates were and what their roles entailed. I played in the real world and you don’t get speech bubbles pop up when people talk.
I expected my subs to know their place with a look and I could be in jeans and T-shirt but they still knew their place.
Someone that is into DS will do it regardless of what someone is wearing and where they are and for that you need a connection and a bond.
If people like it because someone is wearing an outfit then that’s a bit more fetish based.
It is also about choice and if someone says no then walk away. Being dominant does not mean you can’t be turned down. Being a classy dominant means you say good luck and bow out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So I’ve never really cared for D or d or whatever. On occasion I would do high protocol play and then it mattered but I knew who and what I was and I know who my playmates were and what their roles entailed. I played in the real world and you don’t get speech bubbles pop up when people talk.
I expected my subs to know their place with a look and I could be in jeans and T-shirt but they still knew their place.
Someone that is into DS will do it regardless of what someone is wearing and where they are and for that you need a connection and a bond.
If people like it because someone is wearing an outfit then that’s a bit more fetish based.
It is also about choice and if someone says no then walk away. Being dominant does not mean you can’t be turned down. Being a classy dominant means you say good luck and bow out. "
Preach! |
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"So I’ve never really cared for D or d or whatever. On occasion I would do high protocol play and then it mattered but I knew who and what I was and I know who my playmates were and what their roles entailed. I played in the real world and you don’t get speech bubbles pop up when people talk.
I expected my subs to know their place with a look and I could be in jeans and T-shirt but they still knew their place.
Someone that is into DS will do it regardless of what someone is wearing and where they are and for that you need a connection and a bond.
If people like it because someone is wearing an outfit then that’s a bit more fetish based.
It is also about choice and if someone says no then walk away. Being dominant does not mean you can’t be turned down. Being a classy dominant means you say good luck and bow out. "
Spot on. |
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way. "
This is a good example of the reality thanks. It comes back to my point that it is a mutual activity not a selfish one.
Bdsm is only one type.
Without mutuality the relationship vears into the possability that it becomes Coercive control and abuse. While there are men and woman out there that see that as a dark fantasy the R word senario. Thats NOT what the scene is about, or else it should not be in my view.
I have seen woman ask for serious pain on fab and my first thought is that they are unstable and need support not punishment. That is perhaps judgmental but it to ne those people are not a turn on. Give me free will surrender anyday. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
This is a good example of the reality thanks. It comes back to my point that it is a mutual activity not a selfish one.
Bdsm is only one type.
Without mutuality the relationship vears into the possability that it becomes Coercive control and abuse. While there are men and woman out there that see that as a dark fantasy the R word senario. Thats NOT what the scene is about, or else it should not be in my view.
I have seen woman ask for serious pain on fab and my first thought is that they are unstable and need support not punishment. That is perhaps judgmental but it to ne those people are not a turn on. Give me free will surrender anyday."
I have to disagree with your last paragraph. I have played with subs that wanted intense pain but who were in the day to day completely "normal".
There is no difference between doing extreme sports where people put their body through the mill and S/M. Different people get their endorphine rush in different ways.
I was on a semenawa (loosely translated as torture) rope workshop. The facilitator said a great thing.'Some people want their rope [read kink] as a day at the beach others want it like rock climbing."
Kink is not only about fluffy reaching subspace. For some it is safely and consensually open the door to deep dark unsafe and taboo activities that excite or satisfy them.
My view is people who are not qualified psychologists or psychoanalyst should not psychoanalyze other people's mental state.
I also think people who only swim in the shallow end of the pool should not be trying to define kink/BDSM for those who play in the deep end.
On a podcast the rigger and kink educator Lee Harrington said:"If I go to a swinging party I ask how kinky it gets. If I get the reply 'It is really kinky, a woman was tied and F@cked by many guys' then I know to leave my knives at home!"
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way. "
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
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Also a lot of d/s stuff isn’t sexual
A big difference how male and female d/s works is that mostly (and I mean not always but a lot of the time) male D and female s is about sex and the male getting serviced however he wants sexually by the female
Female d is usually about power and often doesn’t get sexual with male subs
Also a female d will often play with male and females where most male d that I’ve known wouldn’t touch a male sub with a 10 foot flogger
There are so many aspects of d/s and power play that it is really hard to understand unless you experience it and I’ve never experienced it with anyone from a site like this.
It’s a bit like a Nando’s menu. Starts mild with a bit of spanking, gets a little hotter with some bondage, creeps up the scale with some choking and bruising and then you have the take your head off, blacked out and mind blown from subspace till you get to the killer heat of permanently damaged or scared and crawling across broken glass with a smile and a thank you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
"
oh i agree ish but even in the bdsm/kink scene dominant means so much in so many different ways ..eveyone is different even in the kink scene .. but do understand what you are saying but i think its just too hard to pigeon hole
we have friends who have been on the bdsm scene who are in there late 70s that frown on the swinging scene saying the 2 should not be mixed and also say 80% of their kink is non sexual but they are very heavy into it they spent over £600 in spain on whips made out of bulls penis's great couple great to talk too and could listen too for hours |
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Dominance is just a vessel to bring out the best in a submissive.
Dom/sub is all about communication and connection it is an equal partnership where one has just trusted the other with their share.
Submission is the greatest gift I am presented with, it is my job to stretch it a little and to push the boundaries but return it unharmed.
Too many people think having a whip and looking mean is all they need to call themselves Dom. I am very quiet, shy and laugh all the time with subs but am able to keep an air of authority which is important for us both but it's not an air of superiority.
I always tell subs "this is your journey, I am just the bus driver" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dominance is just a vessel to bring out the best in a submissive.
Dom/sub is all about communication and connection it is an equal partnership where one has just trusted the other with their share.
Submission is the greatest gift I am presented with, it is my job to stretch it a little and to push the boundaries but return it unharmed.
Too many people think having a whip and looking mean is all they need to call themselves Dom. I am very quiet, shy and laugh all the time with subs but am able to keep an air of authority which is important for us both but it's not an air of superiority.
I always tell subs "this is your journey, I am just the bus driver""
This..... just this.
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
oh i agree ish but even in the bdsm/kink scene dominant means so much in so many different ways ..eveyone is different even in the kink scene .. but do understand what you are saying but i think its just too hard to pigeon hole
we have friends who have been on the bdsm scene who are in there late 70s that frown on the swinging scene saying the 2 should not be mixed and also say 80% of their kink is non sexual but they are very heavy into it they spent over £600 in spain on whips made out of bulls penis's great couple great to talk too and could listen too for hours "
I agree and I would love to meet your friends. I know someone tried to start a Taunton munch, and I have family in Taunton I keep meaning to go to the munch.
I used to be a purist like your friends especially when you hear about dominants whose only ability and interest is face fucking! But reading the Marquis de Sade and The Story of O and you look at couples in the scene sex is embedded in D/S which is right as in my view a true D/S relationship is a relationship i.e meeting of minds. This is distinct from being a dominant in a scene.
To me the bit that many people don't get which came up on the DdLg thread is for some men dominance is about responsibility. It is not about playing games, it is not just about sex or toys,(fun as they are) it is being a reliable and supportive person to which another can submit to. To change someone's example it is being given the keys to the car and told you drive I trust your judgment. Which exactly as you say (and depending on what each wants) that trust is built incrementally until a settled relationship is built that may or may not be very edgy. That is the sweetspot for many doms not control but responsibility.
Whilst on submission, my view is it is not a gift. A gift once given cannot be returned. Submission is something precious that can be cancelled at any time for any reason and the dom has no say.
Anyway I am off for a socially distanced meeting with family. So I wish you all a good evening, and lots of kink when lockdown is over. Be safe, take care and have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dominance is just a vessel to bring out the best in a submissive.
Dom/sub is all about communication and connection it is an equal partnership where one has just trusted the other with their share.
Submission is the greatest gift I am presented with, it is my job to stretch it a little and to push the boundaries but return it unharmed.
Too many people think having a whip and looking mean is all they need to call themselves Dom. I am very quiet, shy and laugh all the time with subs but am able to keep an air of authority which is important for us both but it's not an air of superiority.
I always tell subs "this is your journey, I am just the bus driver""
This is a great post. Spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
oh i agree ish but even in the bdsm/kink scene dominant means so much in so many different ways ..eveyone is different even in the kink scene .. but do understand what you are saying but i think its just too hard to pigeon hole
we have friends who have been on the bdsm scene who are in there late 70s that frown on the swinging scene saying the 2 should not be mixed and also say 80% of their kink is non sexual but they are very heavy into it they spent over £600 in spain on whips made out of bulls penis's great couple great to talk too and could listen too for hours
I agree and I would love to meet your friends. I know someone tried to start a Taunton munch, and I have family in Taunton I keep meaning to go to the munch.
I used to be a purist like your friends especially when you hear about dominants whose only ability and interest is face fucking! But reading the Marquis de Sade and The Story of O and you look at couples in the scene sex is embedded in D/S which is right as in my view a true D/S relationship is a relationship i.e meeting of minds. This is distinct from being a dominant in a scene.
To me the bit that many people don't get which came up on the DdLg thread is for some men dominance is about responsibility. It is not about playing games, it is not just about sex or toys,(fun as they are) it is being a reliable and supportive person to which another can submit to. To change someone's example it is being given the keys to the car and told you drive I trust your judgment. Which exactly as you say (and depending on what each wants) that trust is built incrementally until a settled relationship is built that may or may not be very edgy. That is the sweetspot for many doms not control but responsibility.
Whilst on submission, my view is it is not a gift. A gift once given cannot be returned. Submission is something precious that can be cancelled at any time for any reason and the dom has no say.
Anyway I am off for a socially distanced meeting with family. So I wish you all a good evening, and lots of kink when lockdown is over. Be safe, take care and have fun."
And also this.
I’m protected and loved and cared for, which is a beautiful and integral part of our relationship, and one of the main reasons why I can let go and allow him to take control of me, because he cares for me and I trust him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
oh i agree ish but even in the bdsm/kink scene dominant means so much in so many different ways ..eveyone is different even in the kink scene .. but do understand what you are saying but i think its just too hard to pigeon hole
we have friends who have been on the bdsm scene who are in there late 70s that frown on the swinging scene saying the 2 should not be mixed and also say 80% of their kink is non sexual but they are very heavy into it they spent over £600 in spain on whips made out of bulls penis's great couple great to talk too and could listen too for hours
I agree and I would love to meet your friends. I know someone tried to start a Taunton munch, and I have family in Taunton I keep meaning to go to the munch.
I used to be a purist like your friends especially when you hear about dominants whose only ability and interest is face fucking! But reading the Marquis de Sade and The Story of O and you look at couples in the scene sex is embedded in D/S which is right as in my view a true D/S relationship is a relationship i.e meeting of minds. This is distinct from being a dominant in a scene.
To me the bit that many people don't get which came up on the DdLg thread is for some men dominance is about responsibility. It is not about playing games, it is not just about sex or toys,(fun as they are) it is being a reliable and supportive person to which another can submit to. To change someone's example it is being given the keys to the car and told you drive I trust your judgment. Which exactly as you say (and depending on what each wants) that trust is built incrementally until a settled relationship is built that may or may not be very edgy. That is the sweetspot for many doms not control but responsibility.
Whilst on submission, my view is it is not a gift. A gift once given cannot be returned. Submission is something precious that can be cancelled at any time for any reason and the dom has no say.
Anyway I am off for a socially distanced meeting with family. So I wish you all a good evening, and lots of kink when lockdown is over. Be safe, take care and have fun.
And also this.
I’m protected and loved and cared for, which is a beautiful and integral part of our relationship, and one of the main reasons why I can let go and allow him to take control of me, because he cares for me and I trust him. "
That’s the best thing total and utter trust in the hands of someone else I totally get it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
Although I broadly agree with you, however in kink/bdsm "dominant" does not have the dictionary meaning.
The reason why the dynamic is so powerful is because it goes deeper than sex. That is why on the BDSM scene swingers are to an extent held in disdain.
Think about it, if you ask someone, What is your aspect of dominance? ans they reply "I take control in the bedroom of someone who wants to have sex." Compare that to: "I have the personality to become in many ways responsible for (as negotiated and agreed) someone's life."
I would suggest there is no comparison between the two.
I am all for everyone doing their thing how they like. But there is a big wide kinky world out their with certain broad understandings in place.
oh i agree ish but even in the bdsm/kink scene dominant means so much in so many different ways ..eveyone is different even in the kink scene .. but do understand what you are saying but i think its just too hard to pigeon hole
we have friends who have been on the bdsm scene who are in there late 70s that frown on the swinging scene saying the 2 should not be mixed and also say 80% of their kink is non sexual but they are very heavy into it they spent over £600 in spain on whips made out of bulls penis's great couple great to talk too and could listen too for hours
I agree and I would love to meet your friends. I know someone tried to start a Taunton munch, and I have family in Taunton I keep meaning to go to the munch.
I used to be a purist like your friends especially when you hear about dominants whose only ability and interest is face fucking! But reading the Marquis de Sade and The Story of O and you look at couples in the scene sex is embedded in D/S which is right as in my view a true D/S relationship is a relationship i.e meeting of minds. This is distinct from being a dominant in a scene.
To me the bit that many people don't get which came up on the DdLg thread is for some men dominance is about responsibility. It is not about playing games, it is not just about sex or toys,(fun as they are) it is being a reliable and supportive person to which another can submit to. To change someone's example it is being given the keys to the car and told you drive I trust your judgment. Which exactly as you say (and depending on what each wants) that trust is built incrementally until a settled relationship is built that may or may not be very edgy. That is the sweetspot for many doms not control but responsibility.
Whilst on submission, my view is it is not a gift. A gift once given cannot be returned. Submission is something precious that can be cancelled at any time for any reason and the dom has no say.
Anyway I am off for a socially distanced meeting with family. So I wish you all a good evening, and lots of kink when lockdown is over. Be safe, take care and have fun.
And also this.
I’m protected and loved and cared for, which is a beautiful and integral part of our relationship, and one of the main reasons why I can let go and allow him to take control of me, because he cares for me and I trust him.
That’s the best thing total and utter trust in the hands of someone else I totally get it. "
It’s so beautiful, and I am SO lucky to have found someone who treats me and the trust I put in him with absolute respect and love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So much to read on this thread and so many opinions, all valid and correct for the individual saying them.
BDSM is not just one thing - nor is it 50 shades of grey, it is an infinite myriad of colours. As such someone’s genuine Dominant is another person ‘wannabe dom’.
The key, for me, is that two individuals connect and what works for them works for them. I personally need to have open and honest communication, understanding, respect, fun, empathy, caring and an ethical way of playing.
However what works for me may not work for you, if how I am does not match with you then I wish you the best.
There have been some amazing examples of ethical Dominance in this thread. I hope that everyone who is looking finds their own genuine Dominant.
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"being dominant takes many different roads no one cap fits dominant is not a one way street of bd-sm or slaves, dominant can be something as simple as confidence to full on control .. to me dominant is a guy who takes charge of the sexual situation thats my take or should i say what i look for everybody has different needs and a different view... i love a dominant guy but have zero interest in bd-sm / slave / total control side of things .
so to say most guys dont get it is to say that most women dont either ?? because dominant is a word that can be applied to so many things in life only the person who is looking for knows what dominant means to them and what they are looking for its no longer acceptable really just say you want a dominant person and maybe put on your profile exactly what you want rather than simple words like dom or sub that can mean a zillion different things...
i do think fab needs a kink section were individual kinks and wants can be talks about in a clearer way.
This is a good example of the reality thanks. It comes back to my point that it is a mutual activity not a selfish one.
Bdsm is only one type.
Without mutuality the relationship vears into the possability that it becomes Coercive control and abuse. While there are men and woman out there that see that as a dark fantasy the R word senario. Thats NOT what the scene is about, or else it should not be in my view.
I have seen woman ask for serious pain on fab and my first thought is that they are unstable and need support not punishment. That is perhaps judgmental but it to ne those people are not a turn on. Give me free will surrender anyday.
I have to disagree with your last paragraph. I have played with subs that wanted intense pain but who were in the day to day completely "normal".
There is no difference between doing extreme sports where people put their body through the mill and S/M. Different people get their endorphine rush in different ways.
I was on a semenawa (loosely translated as torture) rope workshop. The facilitator said a great thing.'Some people want their rope [read kink] as a day at the beach others want it like rock climbing."
Kink is not only about fluffy reaching subspace. For some it is safely and consensually open the door to deep dark unsafe and taboo activities that excite or satisfy them.
My view is people who are not qualified psychologists or psychoanalyst should not psychoanalyze other people's mental state.
I also think people who only swim in the shallow end of the pool should not be trying to define kink/BDSM for those who play in the deep end.
On a podcast the rigger and kink educator Lee Harrington said:"If I go to a swinging party I ask how kinky it gets. If I get the reply 'It is really kinky, a woman was tied and F@cked by many guys' then I know to leave my knives at home!"
"
"Swim in the Shallow end of the Pool". You funny man hah ha ha.
As for phycology, as a wise friend once said, a Degree in the bleeding obvious.
The OPs question was about Domanance not BDSM specifically.
Domanance takes many forms, fixation with a single aspect is a fetish. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact. |
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact."
You obviously just don't get what submission is... as a twue sub you wouldn't even question or second guess these demands made of you. I'm surprised you didn't go weak at the knees and simply melt at his mighty Domliness. |
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"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact. "
Oi slut. On your knees and be grateful someone has shown you interest
The last time I was called mistress it was because my plaything hated calling anyone that. It was his line in the sand. So it was always his safe word. He always called me mistress eventually |
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"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact.
Oi slut. On your knees and be grateful someone has shown you interest
The last time I was called mistress it was because my plaything hated calling anyone that. It was his line in the sand. So it was always his safe word. He always called me mistress eventually "
Hello Mistress Inked,
I like and agree with Your comments and views on D/s relationships.
I am fairly expeiranced in serving professinal female Dommes but would much rather now be in a female led relationship as the leather whips etc is not what turns me on as much anymore but rules protocal etc is what i find exciting.
I would always consider myself more of a slave then a sub |
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"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact. "
I never allow a sub to refer to me as sir/master etc.. until I have earnt that title.
I fully understand the respect in what they are saying but any title has to be earnt and deserved |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact.
I never allow a sub to refer to me as sir/master etc.. until I have earnt that title.
I fully understand the respect in what they are saying but any title has to be earnt and deserved"
Exactly my point |
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"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact.
I never allow a sub to refer to me as sir/master etc.. until I have earnt that title.
I fully understand the respect in what they are saying but any title has to be earnt and deserved
Exactly my point "
When you you find your Dom you will have a fantastic experience. You totally understand both sides of Dom sub and I'm sure you will choose a Dom that thinks the same way. I
genuinly wish you well
|
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"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact.
Oi slut. On your knees and be grateful someone has shown you interest
The last time I was called mistress it was because my plaything hated calling anyone that. It was his line in the sand. So it was always his safe word. He always called me mistress eventually
Hello Mistress Inked,
I like and agree with Your comments and views on D/s relationships.
I am fairly expeiranced in serving professinal female Dommes but would much rather now be in a female led relationship as the leather whips etc is not what turns me on as much anymore but rules protocal etc is what i find exciting.
I would always consider myself more of a slave then a sub"
I’m not looking for that at the moment |
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"To add to my post I’ve just had a message from a “Dom” demanding I call him master or sir. I don’t call just anyone that. Sir maybe as a mark of respect but to address someone instantaneously by a subservient name for me is pushy. Urgh. Where’s the tact. "
What an arse, a true Dom does not need to tell or ask or beg for the sub to address them with respect, the sub knows a true dom when they meet one and will wish to do so of thier own will.
Surrender is not forced surrender is given. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Where are you?
I don’t just mean someone who likes a hard shag. Anyone knows it’s more than that.
Hi
I winked you guys yesterday xx"
Sorry had a few come through yesterday missed that. Feel free to message with what you are after. |
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"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good Luck"
Just one thing I would be interested to know ... and genuinely interested in your answer Who is the “ BDSM community “ .. Is it your group of friends ? Or my group of friends ?
You see I have been looking , quite a long time .. perhaps to long .. I people over there , I see people over here . I see people way back in the corridors .. No matter how hard I look .. I can’t seem to find the booth to pay the subscription fee ...
I was an Alpha male .. once , a young buck , fighting in the dance halls .. One of the “ most “ as you so describe ..
I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
And that question can be for anyone .. it’s not a trick .. it’s a legitimate question on a subject as emotive as this |
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"This site isn't slanted towards dom/sub, you should have better luck on fetlife.
You can look for a Munch social in your area, that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
It’s far to quiet for my liking and plus fabs more user friendly. It’s not the be all and end all I just like talking to an older gentleman who can handle me
Because whenever anyone pop up with an opinion the BDSM by theory police come along and say how you need to read loads of books and there’s no such thing as naturally dominant men, if we take care of a woman were really just a sexist pig and real Dom's are beta nerds that know 100 knots and read lots of books about BDSM or something like that Not sure you understand the D/s concept but respect your opinion
This.
Being an alpha alone is not being a dominant within the meaning of the BDSM community. Most alpha dominants that I have met who described themselves as naturally dominant have been dangerous narcissists. All about control but rubbish at empathy and responsibility particularly where the subs needs differ from the alpha males wants.
It is not policing anyone to say understand what you are getting into before you start.
There are far too many horror stories of men claiming BDSM as a defence in court.
As for the ridiculous comment on knots, you have clearly have no knowledge of kinbaku or Japanese rope. Dominance can be a dance like a tango where one gently leads and the other willingly follows. Dominance can be different from unthinking Neanderthals and their lovers both styles can co-exist. BDSM is large enough to accommodate different styles of dominance and submission.
Also there are some "knowledgeable " dominants on this site.
Finally asking for a dominant is like asking for a car. You need to specify what type, and style of dominant you want, as you would a car. Because what you want is individual to you, and each dominant is different. There are no true dominants, only ones that work for a particular sub. That is why negotiation and getting to know the dominant before a sub submits is essential. There is no rush.
Good Luck
Just one thing I would be interested to know ... and genuinely interested in your answer Who is the “ BDSM community “ .. Is it your group of friends ? Or my group of friends ?
You see I have been looking , quite a long time .. perhaps to long .. I people over there , I see people over here . I see people way back in the corridors .. No matter how hard I look .. I can’t seem to find the booth to pay the subscription fee ...
I was an Alpha male .. once , a young buck , fighting in the dance halls .. One of the “ most “ as you so describe ..
I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
And that question can be for anyone .. it’s not a trick .. it’s a legitimate question on a subject as emotive as this "
Defo Vice from Virtue. I was a very good boy when i was younger. Lacked confidence and was neive as hell.
My jurney to the wilder side has done a huge good for me. I would like to think iam still a Good man but am very glad i woke up to the fact that life is short and we should squeeze every once of joy from it and give it back as we can. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?"
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking. "
I am glad that you answered, I thought it was aimed at me. I have been to busy to formulate an answer to that kind of question. |
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"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking. "
Aww shucks . Am I bad ..
Did you arrive at virtue ( behaviour showings high moral standards) without acquainting oneself with vice ? ( immoral or wicked behaviour ) it’s quite simple really ..which came first .. ? |
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"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking.
I am glad that you answered, I thought it was aimed at me. I have been to busy to formulate an answer to that kind of question."
The question is aimed at whomever wishes to answer it .. if you don’t want to answer it don’t .. it’s just a question |
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"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking.
I am glad that you answered, I thought it was aimed at me. I have been to busy to formulate an answer to that kind of question."
And sorry I don’t to take up the whole thread . There is no formula to formulate .A guy above has answered , use that as a template ..
He arrived at kink bdsm fetish whatever , by way of virtue .. where I , arrived through vice . It’s a sort of yes and no answer really |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking.
I am glad that you answered, I thought it was aimed at me. I have been to busy to formulate an answer to that kind of question.
And sorry I don’t to take up the whole thread . There is no formula to formulate .A guy above has answered , use that as a template ..
He arrived at kink bdsm fetish whatever , by way of virtue .. where I , arrived through vice . It’s a sort of yes and no answer really "
You’ve literally taken this thread WAY to literally and taken over.
No one needed a debate on who was the best Dom or how they came to it.
The whole point was just seeing who’s out there so myself and others can have a browse. We didn’t need war and peace on the history of bdsm etc.
Thanks all the same. |
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"I asked this question earlier , it remains unanswered here at least .. and I get that , it’s perhaps to awkward a question for thease pages .. which of course should just be fun and light and fluffy .. .. Never the less , here goes second time around ..
“ Did you arrive at virtue , bypassing vice ? Or did you aquaint oneself with vice , to become virtuous ?
You aimed that question at me.
The reason I haven't answered is because your grammar and sentence structure of your posts, combined with what feels like (on this thread) an antagonistic demeanor make it difficult for me to read and understand them and to be blunt I didn't understand what you were actually asking.
I am glad that you answered, I thought it was aimed at me. I have been to busy to formulate an answer to that kind of question.
And sorry I don’t to take up the whole thread . There is no formula to formulate .A guy above has answered , use that as a template ..
He arrived at kink bdsm fetish whatever , by way of virtue .. where I , arrived through vice . It’s a sort of yes and no answer really
You’ve literally taken this thread WAY to literally and taken over.
No one needed a debate on who was the best Dom or how they came to it.
The whole point was just seeing who’s out there so myself and others can have a browse. We didn’t need war and peace on the history of bdsm etc.
Thanks all the same. "
I just joined in an already established format .. |
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Thank you 