FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Agree with not worth messaging as most women ignore them

Agree with not worth messaging as most women ignore them

By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

I have heard that women get so many that they dont answer them, but I think that if they have tone to delete them, then surely that could just say no thanks? Or am I totally wrong? Or may be I'm not likeable lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get replies if I send a face pic and be polite and normal on the first message

You gotta make sure you fit there requirements too

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By *exnPaul17Couple over a year ago

Poole

[Removed by poster at 24/07/20 21:18:07]

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By *exnPaul17Couple over a year ago

Poole

If you could see how much mail a single lady gets it's ridiculous. To read and respond to every single message would take forever. A singe female friend of ours pops online for a browse and instantly gets a hundred messages. Essentially the polar opposite of most single guys here. So don't be miffed if you don't get a response. Fab should be fun not laborious

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By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

"I get replies if I send a face pic and be polite and normal on the first message

You gotta make sure you fit there requirements too

I do both lol very polite, I used to say if your not interested then sorry to have troubled you....no response again lol

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By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

"If you could see how much mail a single lady gets it's ridiculous. To read and respond to every single message would take forever. A singe female friend of ours pops online for a browse and instantly gets a hundred messages. Essentially the polar opposite of most single guys here. So don't be miffed if you don't get a response. Fab should be fun not laborious

Not fun if you dont get any responses lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We state in our profile that we’re not interested in single Guys but leave our filters open so that we can chat to whoever we feel like.

Basically if we get a message from a guy especially with a cock pic then they clearly haven’t read our profile so very few get a response.

We’re not trying to be dicks but if you’re not interested in us enough to read the blurb then we’re not interested in repeating ourselves in a message and i suspect that it’s pretty much the same for many of the ladies getting bombarded daily.

Definitely read the profile-if you think you’re what they’re looking for based on that then drop them a message. Hope that helps

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By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

"We state in our profile that we’re not interested in single Guys but leave our filters open so that we can chat to whoever we feel like.

Basically if we get a message from a guy especially with a cock pic then they clearly haven’t read our profile so very few get a response.

Definitely read the profile-if you think you’re what they’re looking for based on that then drop them a message. Hope that helps

Thanks for your message, I do read their profile more than once so there isn't any mistakes, I really have done all I can, I honestly have, but I think it's time to stop, that's life I suppose but thanks for taking the time to post up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I message no one lol ... however i do reply

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks""

That’s a fair point

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By *ady23Woman over a year ago

Coventry

Here here. Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my opinion

There are too many males on here that think females want a message like " I want to cum over your tits" "fancy a fuck" etc, totally disrespectful to many females.

Also 95% of males don't read the profile before messaging.

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

I don't get 100s of messages but I still deleted lots.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My bio states the reasons why I do not reply to certain messages. Copied and pasted messages are annoying, as are 'how r u' messages plus if its blatantly obvious you haven't read my bio then I'll often reply with a little abuse depending on what mood I'm in. Dont read then expect me to either ignore or be a bitch for fun

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By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

"My bio states the reasons why I do not reply to certain messages. Copied and pasted messages are annoying, as are 'how r u' messages plus if its blatantly obvious you haven't read my bio then I'll often reply with a little abuse depending on what mood I'm in. Dont read then expect me to either ignore or be a bitch for fun

Thanks for replying, but I do read the profile before I send messages thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my opinion

There are too many males on here that think females want a message like " I want to cum over your tits" "fancy a fuck" etc, totally disrespectful to many females.

Also 95% of males don't read the profile before messaging.

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

I don't get 100s of messages but I still deleted lots.

I think you will find alot of women on here are disrespectful idiots as well same goes for couples.

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By *ankie303Woman over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Most if not all will read a profile before deciding to read a message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my opinion

There are too many males on here that think females want a message like " I want to cum over your tits" "fancy a fuck" etc, totally disrespectful to many females.

Also 95% of males don't read the profile before messaging.

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

I don't get 100s of messages but I still deleted lots.

I think you will find alot of women on here are disrespectful idiots as well same goes for couples."

I agree with you.

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By *eachesAndCream99Couple over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

We try to respond to as many messages as we can and we both respond to ease the workload...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The reason I delete lots, alot of men send a message, friend invite, wink and no pictures on their profile. If pictures are added to message then maybe.

I state I will delete if no profile pictures.

So im definitely not accepting a friend request

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By *ver-CuriousCouple over a year ago

Newtownabbey

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

No it doesnt

If anything it helps women and couples appreciate the respectful males even more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

I try to reply just to be polite but some messages aren't worth replying to rude crude discusting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is a simple solution... #FabStraight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll look at a profile first. If you're not what I'm looking for - you should have known better than message or should have read my profile and payed attention to it before you've messaged. No point in wasting my time replying. Also, if I was to reply to all such messages it would break filters I may want to set in the future leaving no other option but spend even more time blocking those individuals when they message again.

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By *anchez1197 OP Man over a year ago

Horsham

"I'll look at a profile first. If you're not what I'm looking for - you should have known better than message or should have read my profile and payed attention to it before you've messaged. No point in wasting my time replying. Also, if I was to reply to all such messages it would break filters I may want to set in the future leaving no other option but spend even more time blocking those individuals when they message again."

Once again, I do read profiles first, but thanks for replying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

No it doesnt

If anything it helps women and couples appreciate the respectful males even more "

Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners. "

It costs them anlot of wasted time if they have like 10 or 20 each day.

As much as i hate no reply, i totally get it.

So if they read and deleted with no reply, i take it as nit interested.... Which is pretty much everyone, So that makes its easier....

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

Too many guys create a very boring and predictable profile with crap pictures, throw out a message to a few women then complain about not receiving a reply.

When other guys, write a really good profile and have interesting pictures, spend time on the site or go to clubs and socials. Funnily enough those guys have verifications. I wonder why ?

Nobody owes you anything from a meet to a basic reply, you’re a stranger on a website not a close family friend or neighbour. If you’re not getting replies look inward and stop blaming others.

Have a nice night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now. "

You make it sound like you're only respectful to women because you think it'll get you what you want, if that's how you're coming across then I'm not surprised, it's really not respectful at all.

Even if it's just sex you should both be getting something out of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get replies from many nice ladies on here. Just be kind considerate and it will come

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

Part of a couple here, I, the fem part, do the replying if there is a face pic, I /we have been known to reply without a face pic if the profile reads well but pic preferable but please no cock pics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree for the most part it is an exercise in futility. I haven’t sent an invitation unsolicited first message in years. That said, the vast majority of my conversations started by women tend to quickly peter out quickly.

So I tend to converse with very few.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I get a message and it's polite (not I'm in your area faf) I will reply after I've looked at the profile. I have my filters set tight so don't get many messages. And it's good to see if you get a no thanks your polite and say thank you but for every one polite guy that's says thanks there is 5 who will literally call the gal every name under the sun because we haven't dropped our knickers.

So accept the messages you get and ignore the ones that ignore you. Fab is a funny old place but it should be more fun

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By *rs mischiefWoman over a year ago

Manchester

"my opinion

There are too many males on here that think females want a message like " I want to cum over your tits" "fancy a fuck" etc, totally disrespectful to many females.

Also 95% of males don't read the profile before messaging.

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

I don't get 100s of messages but I still deleted lots.

Oh this all day long! Hence the hidden profile!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't always reply.

But ones I've said no.. End up abusive tennis.. I don't tolerate.. So easier not to reply. Fully aware not all same but some messages are utter tripe n disgusting.

It's a fab world

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally get what yous are saying. Some ppl not just men are so disgusting and disrespectful and can be nasty. And very demanding, I do reply to most ppl but not all. Some seem to forget we are not all compatible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now.

You make it sound like you're only respectful to women because you think it'll get you what you want, if that's how you're coming across then I'm not surprised, it's really not respectful at all.

Even if it's just sex you should both be getting something out of it."

That's your opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm so fed up with abusive or rude replies if I say no thanks, I don't even read the messages now, let alone reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time.

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By *ilth500Man over a year ago

Merseyside

"I'm so fed up with abusive or rude replies if I say no thanks, I don't even read the messages now, let alone reply.

you replied to me... im very grateful too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time."

I find this is the case with the ladies who I have tried to have conversations with. I find myself having to ask questions to get a conversation going and then it's usually only a one word reply.. it makes me feel like I'm pestering them so I just give up.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

yeah pretty right. i read 1 in 30 messages. just wink. don't bother messaging until she winks back at you

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time.

1 word answer means they just being polite replying back or they way too busy to put the effort back... move on with people like that

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time."

yup I'm like zzzzz its so time wasting. no spark. no rapport. no sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They so many messages, it's not suprising.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Don't always reply.

But ones I've said no.. End up abusive tennis.. I don't tolerate.. So easier not to reply. Fully aware not all same but some messages are utter tripe n disgusting.

It's a fab world"

Yes i totally given up saying nicely no thanks... i ignore then block if they try more than 4 times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time.

1 word answer means they just being polite replying back or they way too busy to put the effort back... move on with people like that"

Yeah makes me feel awkward so I move on

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By *ogue237Woman over a year ago

Warwickshire

[Removed by poster at 25/07/20 00:27:15]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a couple, if we see a profile we like the look of we always do the following;

Read it thoroughly

Check their interests to see if they match ours

Are we what they’re looking for?

Are they what we’re looking for?

Do they live within a reasonable distance?

Only then would we consider messaging them.

And we always take no reply as no interest.

We apply the same rulings to those that message us. Far too many have clearly not read our profile and are just chancing their luck.

It’s tough on here for some but but you can cut out a lot of wasted time by following the above.

Miss V

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By *ogue237Woman over a year ago

Warwickshire

The reply by TV67 is exactly the right point. No one owes anyone anything on this site. Men are put out because women aren’t replying, yet women are supposed to put themselves out to reply to the men to protect their feelings. No. That’s all kind of wrong.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman over a year ago

…

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners. "

I've found that I don't get the 100s of messages daily but a lot of the messages I do get are 'hw r u or hows lockdown'/ 'free tonight'/ 'fancy a fuck' type messages which I state I don't want in my profile. This week I've been on more and have been saying no thanks/not interested to messages to at least reply and let them know and the amount of abuse you can get after makes me wonder if it's actually worth replying

So I do try and reply for good manners sake and it gets thrown in my face

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

No it doesnt

If anything it helps women and couples appreciate the respectful males even more

Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now. "

Give it a try and see.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Even if my inbox is huge, in 10 years here very few or none of the people who messaged me went unnoticed. I looj at the sender's profile even if it's not a particularly good message,eg including just saying 'Hi'

Probably thousands of people got looked at. They achieved something from their investment of time and effort.

It still doesn't mean that I am compatible.

If you make zero effort then you will probably achieve nothing. If you make effort, aim to ensure it's wisely spent. There is no guarantee here.

And we have been in an emergency for several months, where family, partners, jobs, people we care for and incomes are all top priority. There is no idea when sexual meets may be supported here. You may make good connections with people but they may have others that they know who they have been waiting for a lot longer to meet with. A sense of reasonable expectations are needed.

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By *s Lola Wand - SocketWoman over a year ago

leicester

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Create a fake woman’s profile and see how you get on responding : personally i don’t get lots of messages , but whether i get 1 or 100 it’s up to me how I respond

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By *scarsexMan over a year ago

Stevenage

Reading profiles, being polite, not sending dick pics if they say so in their profile, sending face pic if they so in their profile, not being pushy, being respectful WILL NOT MEAN anybody will get a reply.

We are so many guys in here, it’s almost impossible to deal with it, and obviously sex is not a job, it’s a pleasure. Only thinking in going to the website and seeing you have hundreds, thousands of emails, it’s a turn off, full stop.

But my point is: fakes, time wasters, professionals, webcamers, etc, who write something in their profile and do just the opposite afterwards; that drives me nuts. You chat for a bit with individuals and they ghost you in here or any other way (KIK, SnapChat, InstaGram, etc), they say and swear they will meet and without any single word they disappear. And if you ask them anything they may even block you

That’s preposterous.

Or those who say they will meet, no matter what happens, so you go there... to find out that nobody’s coming, that the profile is hidden or they blocked you just after the last message.

I don’t have words to express what you think when this happens.

We are individuals, we are imperfect, we want to have fun. But apparently for some, fun is taking the Mickey with others. And that, at least for me, is intolerable. If you don’t reply, or if you reply saying “no”, that’s a thing. But when you say I’ll meet, and you disappear, where’s the fun in doing so?

We, guys, are supposed to be 200% respectful. What about women and couples then?

And I’m not speaking in general. But when you see profiles asking almost the moon and sun and they don’t even have a single picture, they ask for specifics even though they are inexperienced and don’t say it in their profile. What do you call that?

I agree, there are too many guys and some send dozens of messages for nothing, only as a type of retaliation for no answering them or not giving them what they want.

But for God’s sake, sex is pleasure. We can’t have all. We are grown ups. We have to make decisions: us guys to where we can send messages; women/couples which ones to answer.

But I have a feeling that sometimes we get greedy and greedier if we get used to something (messages, meets, or whatever it is).

For example: a couple looking for man, couple, or woman. What would be the normal thing to do? To read hundreds of them and reply the same hundreds, or to choose which ones to carry on? Because couples/women receive so many messages, they have to choose, but they might try to answer as many as they can. In the end, it’s a nonsense in my opinion. It’s like watching birds in the sky and trying to catch them up.

Communication is fundamental to avoid further troubles. If we all are honest and say what we are after when sending a message, if they don’t reply (after a reasonable time) it means they are not interested. And I would block them so that I won’t bother them anymore. No more messages. Full stop. Move on and go for another profile.

But replying randomly to some guys, not counting on them by any means, just for the pleasure of replying “just in case” the one you want can’t make it, well that’s not right. I would rather have no answer than wasting time for nothing.

There are so many cases here, the topics could take years debating.

“Messaging someone” doesn’t mean receiving a reply.

Message-Reply-Messages-Replies and then nothing else without a word after some days: this is nonsense. It’s an immature behaviour.

Message-Reply-Messages-Replies, making plans to meet and not coming without a word, disappearing, ghosting, blocking you without notifying it: it’s utterly disrespectful and these kind of people should be kicked out from Fab for a while. If they don’t follow the rules, why aren’t they punished?

It seems to me that for some, it’s natural to ask without giving anything. For those ones, when they meet and have a great time, is it because they are very good or because the individuals they meet give them pleasure? Sex is between two at least.

Those who forget this shouldn’t be asking the moon and sun, and they should go back to earth asap.

Respect, reading profiles, being coherent, not being d*unk/high, making decisions about who you send/reply a message should be the right thing to do.

I am very glad to see some profiles (women and couples) saying they had to bunk delete messages due to the amount of them. That’s fantastic: respectful for all the individuals who wrote them and good communication so that anybody can understand what happened.

The same goes when they write an “update” and say they are not meeting for personal reasons. Bravo! That’s good.

But for those making out every few hours new profiles, those who seem to be outlaws and think they can write or behave as they wish, they shouldn’t complain about being mistreated or ignored. Full stop.

I’m sure many will disagree with me. But at least I speak my mind and am respectful and explain why I think this or that. So any other comment against what I say will be good for the forum. Don’t try to convince me about YOUR ideas. I have mines

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading profiles, being polite, not sending dick pics if they say so in their profile, sending face pic if they so in their profile, not being pushy, being respectful WILL NOT MEAN anybody will get a reply.

That’s preposterous.

Or those who say they will meet, no matter what happens, so you go there... to find out that nobody’s coming, that the profile is hidden or they blocked you just after the last message.

I don’t have words to express what you think when this happens.

We, guys, are supposed to be 200% respectful. What about women and couples then?

I agree, there are too many guys and some send dozens of messages for nothing, only as a type of retaliation for no answering them or not giving them what they want.

But for God’s sake, sex is pleasure. We can’t have all. We are grown ups. We have to make decisions: us guys to where we can send messages; women/couples which ones to answer.

But I have a feeling that sometimes we get greedy and greedier if we get used to something (messages, meets, or whatever it is).

There are so many cases here, the topics could take years debating.

“Messaging someone” doesn’t mean receiving a reply.

Message-Reply-Messages-Replies and then nothing else without a word after some days: this is nonsense. It’s an immature behaviour.

Those who forget this shouldn’t be asking the moon and sun, and they should go back to earth asap.

Respect, reading profiles, being coherent, not being d*unk/high, making decisions about who you send/reply a message should be the right thing to do.

The same goes when they write an “update” and say they are not meeting for personal reasons. Bravo! That’s good.

What he just said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Every time we have replied no thanks we get “well what are you looking for then?” or abuse so can’t imagine how much shit the single girls get. It’s up to the individual whether they want to reply or not.

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By *B69Woman over a year ago

Wiltshire

When I have replied sorry your not for me they reply asking why not or send abuse, I didn’t join this site for that, no means no and I won’t change my mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know what you mean it does get a little frustrating but I guess that just means they're not interested

still annoying though lol but I find it worse when you're chatting for a while then they go quiet

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time."
when I had my single profile, if I said no thank you, I sometimes got abuse back or being asked why. On our profile now, if we give a no, its either a thank you or ignored. We can live with being ignored

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I get a message and it's polite (not I'm in your area faf) I will reply after I've looked at the profile. I have my filters set tight so don't get many messages. And it's good to see if you get a no thanks your polite and say thank you but for every one polite guy that's says thanks there is 5 who will literally call the gal every name under the sun because we haven't dropped our knickers.

So accept the messages you get and ignore the ones that ignore you. Fab is a funny old place but it should be more fun"

Agreed! I've received so much abuse for saying no thanks, it really puts me off replying sometimes.

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"I get replies if I send a face pic and be polite and normal on the first message

You gotta make sure you fit there requirements too

Exactly this !

Men far outnumber women on here so it’s always a good idea to actually be ticking our boxes before wasting your time messaging

I wouldn’t message anyone if I was the opposite to what they were looking for

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never ignore a message.

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By *arkbaneMan over a year ago

East lerds

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners. "

Totally agree

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By *exnPaul17Couple over a year ago

Poole

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time. when I had my single profile, if I said no thank you, I sometimes got abuse back or being asked why. On our profile now, if we give a no, its either a thank you or ignored. We can live with being ignored "

We got a load of abuse this week from a guy who'd not read our profile. We politely declined and he called us a fat bitch and a limp cock. One out of two isn't bad haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks""

Be good if they did have a auto reply option or bulk message option like some social media stuff

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

It does say in the frequently asked questions that you should accept a no answer as a polite no thanks. Its hard for some men to understand just how long giving a polite no thanks to messages would take for some ladies. Fab is meant to be fun, not endless admin work, answering messages to people who they are not interested in.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

I’m not an idiot nor am I dis respectful but no reply Usually means no interest , I learnt quickly that by sending a polite no thank you the guy thinks this is an opening for a conversation . No it’s not !!! Which then usually ends up in an abisive message which ends up in a block !!

The blocked list is huge . I do t have to reply to every message sent nothing in the rules about that !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I reply with not interested. It always ends up with them pushing more questions .

Easier just not to reply as otherwise I’ll Just get brutally blunt when people push .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I reply with not interested. It always ends up with them pushing more questions .

Easier just not to reply as otherwise I’ll Just get brutally blunt when people push . "

That’s what the block button is for if you don’t take my first hint then my next hint is a one way trip to my block list

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

No reply means not interested so why go on about it. Also I’m lucky to get one message a week from guys so I don’t get where a woman has 2000 messages! Get away with it lol.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"It does say in the frequently asked questions that you should accept a no answer as a polite no thanks. Its hard for some men to understand just how long giving a polite no thanks to messages would take for some ladies. Fab is meant to be fun, not endless admin work, answering messages to people who they are not interested in."

This, exactly this. The site could be better if they had a button that did a delete, sent a “sorry, you’re not for me” auto reply and blocked all with one swipe.

Until then, a delete means no. I know it’s tough if you’ve read the profile, think you’re a good match and just need a chance, but that’s the way it goes. Same happens with job descriptions sometimes - you think they’ve written it with you in mind but your CV goes nowhere.

It happens, move on

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple over a year ago

Broadstairs

If we ever bother to message Ladies we normally do get a reply, is it that there just to many unverified men on here ?

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"If we ever bother to message Ladies we normally do get a reply, is it that there just to many unverified men on here ? "

Verifications mean nothing! One man admitted he had a false veri, they had never met but did each other a veri....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners.

Totally agree"

Haven't you read the thread?

Do you reply to every piece of junk mail you get through your letterbox? Every pizza leaflet, every unsolicited email regardless of whether you are interested in a stairlift/craft items/2 for 1 at the garden centre?

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"If we ever bother to message Ladies we normally do get a reply, is it that there just to many unverified men on here ?

Verifications mean nothing! One man admitted he had a false veri, they had never met but did each other a veri...."

Actually this seems to be a trend atm .... there are lots of new accounts that get fake veris - I’ve called them out and they have admitted

I get asked every day to ‘help a guy out and give him a veri’ - absolutely not !

Being verified means nothing , being verified by several established accounts who’s veris actually say more than ‘good meet’ counts for more

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners.

Totally agree

Haven't you read the thread?

So you’re calling men’s messages pieces of junk then? Not good. Some put effort into a message. #entitled!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners.

Totally agree

Haven't you read the thread?

So you’re calling men’s messages pieces of junk then? Not good. Some put effort into a message. #entitled! "

No, I'm comparing the messages to any other unsolicited message/ email/ letter. You don't reply to those either if you aren't interested.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?"

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?"

There are filters! All these women moaning! It’s good practice to hide profile and only contact men you wish to converse with. That way no ‘junk mail’...!!! No 2000 unread messages to proudly boast about!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that you are right. I know that women get a lot of messages and can't answer back. But as you say a quick reply yes or no doesn't cost anything. Its just manners.

Totally agree

Haven't you read the thread?

So you’re calling men’s messages pieces of junk then? Not good. Some put effort into a message. #entitled! "

Many are just that unfortunately, not all but a higher percentage that not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had some great replies from couples and ladies and I’m chatting to a lovely lady right now so no it’s definitely not a waste of time you just have to try and let your personality come over in your message

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

I'll add entitled to the list of names I've been called

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

Guys of a certain age tend mostly to be polite and if i can i reply ,but mostly its guys with straight and no profile pic which ive said we dont want so answering them all would be a full time job ,i dont want ,i try to be polite as im of a certain age but it can be endless and its supposed to be fun for all ,not a chore ..//

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple over a year ago

Broadstairs

"If we ever bother to message Ladies we normally do get a reply, is it that there just to many unverified men on here ?

Verifications mean nothing! One man admitted he had a false veri, they had never met but did each other a veri....

Actually this seems to be a trend atm .... there are lots of new accounts that get fake veris - I’ve called them out and they have admitted

I get asked every day to ‘help a guy out and give him a veri’ - absolutely not !

Being verified means nothing , being verified by several established accounts who’s veris actually say more than ‘good meet’ counts for more

Absolutely we would not meet any singles women or men without Verifications to much hassle as to if they are genuine or will actually meet

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By *otsossieMan over a year ago

Chesterfield

I guess it depends what you’re looking for?

I have some fun chats but I know I’m not pushy enough

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Dont think they intentionally ignore them at mo my unread is 1180 it's hard to keep up I do try and just say hiya and if not on for couple days get to many cant keep up! So I sometimes dont open if they dont look suitable age location etc as if u open message sender knows so have to then reply but it's nothing personal I'm sure good luck x

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By *acavityMan over a year ago

Redditch

"There are filters! All these women moaning! It’s good practice to hide profile and only contact men you wish to converse with. That way no ‘junk mail’...!!! No 2000 unread messages to proudly boast about!"

I so agree. I'd also change the new user registration system, so filters are on, so new members (female) aren't bombarded with 'faf' messages as soon as they join. It must be off putting.

But if the ladies did filter out single males, those chaps might have to put some effort into their profiles.

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By *ustfun009Man over a year ago

oxford

I only message people that show interest with a wink or fab as i appreciate all the ladies on here get inundated with messages...most of which give us guys a bad name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With so many guys on here, its hard to stand out, but if you haven't made an effort with pics, videos and explaining a bit about yourself and making it interesting and unique, then you are setting yourself up to fail. Many women ask for specific things, then change their minds when the see someone a bit different or intruiging.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

I'll add entitled to the list of names I've been called

#entitled

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple over a year ago

North West

It’s really difficult. Even as a couples profile we currently have 600+ unread.

I’ve been online 5 minutes this morning and that number increased by 50.

It’s physically impossible to reply to each and every message.

I’d also like to point out that 90% of those messages are shit one liners “meet now”, “i’d destroy you”, “let me show you a good time” or blatantly copied and pasted messages.

A further 5% is follow up messages containing abuse because I haven’t replied in 2.456 seconds to help them get off.

It’s seriously infuriating.

I / we pick and choose who we reply to because:

1 - we have to

2 - just because we’re on fab doesn’t mean you’re automatically entitled to get me to drop my knickers because you sent me a one liner.

Honestly drives me insane.

I think I’ve probably replied to 3 people during lockdown.

Just my 2 pence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Create a fake woman’s profile and see how you get on responding : personally i don’t get lots of messages , but whether i get 1 or 100 it’s up to me how I respond "

Conversely I think for empathy reasons women should set up a fake male profile for a week with some standard/average pics and see what a ball breaker trying to get anywhere on here is

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Tight filters stops a load of mail. So I don't get why anyone has to complain about getting hundreds of messages the ways to stop getting so many are there people just have to actually use them. It's why I have my filters tight. Yes some slip through but not many ie the ones who put a pic up public just to message then hide it again. I don't get many new messages. I answer most but anyone who has cheated to get through my filters doesn't get answered or the faf etc ones or people I have already said no thanks to. Some days I'm just too tired after work or just not in the form to answer. But I do try and answer most.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

I'll add entitled to the list of names I've been called

#entitled "

Isn't the person expecting a reply #entitled more than the person not replying to a message they didn't ask for

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Create a fake woman’s profile and see how you get on responding : personally i don’t get lots of messages , but whether i get 1 or 100 it’s up to me how I respond

Conversely I think for empathy reasons women should set up a fake male profile for a week with some standard/average pics and see what a ball breaker trying to get anywhere on here is

i once created an average looking but nice fake male profile as a dare on a vanilla dating site... i was unindated with women messaging etc I think the way to women is through decent chat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Create a fake woman’s profile and see how you get on responding : personally i don’t get lots of messages , but whether i get 1 or 100 it’s up to me how I respond

Conversely I think for empathy reasons women should set up a fake male profile for a week with some standard/average pics and see what a ball breaker trying to get anywhere on here is

i once created an average looking but nice fake male profile as a dare on a vanilla dating site... i was unindated with women messaging etc I think the way to women is through decent chat"

Find that hard to believe unless they were all spambots

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Your right wouldn't kill em to have a copy and paste message saying thanks but no thanks , deleting a polite message is just plain ignorant

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Posts like the OPs sort of restore my faith in human nature when you see someone prepared to take one for the team and drop out of the running.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

No reply means not interested so why go on about it. Also I’m lucky to get one message a week from guys so I don’t get where a woman has 2000 messages! Get away with it lol."

I can screenshot my inbox for you if you think I'm lying. Jeez

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Your right wouldn't kill em to have a copy and paste message saying thanks but no thanks , deleting a polite message is just plain ignorant

He's not right. Every time I've said no thanks I get a reply asking why, or trying to convince me I'm wrong for saying no, or worse still, being downright nasty. But apparently I'm ignorant if I choose to avoid that?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Your right wouldn't kill em to have a copy and paste message saying thanks but no thanks , deleting a polite message is just plain ignorant

I think women get this... i given up saying a polite no thanks due to the abuse and haressment.. would they act like this in clubs??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Your right wouldn't kill em to have a copy and paste message saying thanks but no thanks , deleting a polite message is just plain ignorant

Well then you ignore them

simple

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By *aughtyBlokeKentMan over a year ago

Kent/Gatwick area

"When I have replied sorry your not for me they reply asking why not or send abuse, I didn’t join this site for that, no means no and I won’t change my mind"

I had that response from a couple when I politely declined their "meet now?" at 2am. The bloke assumed I didn't fancy his wife, wanted to know why I figured I was too good for them, and had a right go at me for being a time waster. I'd only said, "no thanks"!

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By *reatformeatWoman over a year ago

my own bubble

O dear here we go again with the "look at me i get 6 million messages a day and cant reply to all of them" club .

why give them the opportunity op???

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By *ilth500Man over a year ago

Merseyside

fab disclaimer; blokes must be thick skinned!

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"...but I think that if they have tone to delete them, then surely that could just say no thanks?"

No you reply "no thanks" to your spam emails? From companies that haven't taken the time to learn what you want?

If a girl or couple get 100 messages in a day and each one take just one minute to reply to, that's over an hour and a half's "work". If twenty then reply with a "awww.....why not? What can I do to persuade you?" then that goes up to two hours.

FAB FAQ says "no reply = no thanks" but the very same people that don't read profiles also don't read FAQs.

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By *reatformeatWoman over a year ago

my own bubble

"...but I think that if they have tone to delete them, then surely that could just say no thanks?

No you reply "no thanks" to your spam emails? From companies that haven't taken the time to learn what you want?

FAB FAQ says "no reply = no thanks" but the very same people that don't read profiles also don't read FAQs."

But realistically they don't

. Lets be honest they might get 20 to 30 at a pinch .

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"When I have replied sorry your not for me they reply asking why not or send abuse, I didn’t join this site for that, no means no and I won’t change my mind

There is no excuse for that from anybody, m, f or couple.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

No reply is a perfectly acceptable way of saying "no thanks" OP - it even says so in the site FAQs.

There are many reasons people don't reply, even with a simple no thanks:

- Even with filters, most women will get 20+ messages a day, now multiply that by checking each one, looking at the profile of the sender, deciding whether there's an interest, sending a reply and allowing even 3 minutes to do all that - there's an hour gone.

- Then you have the potential for abusive messages in response to a no thanks - and they happen, you might not be the type to send one, but the recipient of the message doesn't know that for sure do they?

- There's also the thing that by replying a wormhole is opened through an future filters they might add.

There are other reasons too, but as you can see you can start to understand why people might not reply.

It's also worth remembering that people will often be more drawn to appealing profiles that make you stand out - won't guarantee a response, but may improve your chances, so take a look at yours and see if you think it really sells you well and is appealing.

Don't forget also that there are other ways of approaching the site and getting to know people beyond just sending blind messages - the chat rooms and forums are a great way of doing that.

I also learned very quickly that worrying about how others choose to use their profile will get you nowhere - best to focus on how you use yours, and make it the most appealing it can be. Just accept that other people may run theirs differently and your perception will improve.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...but I think that if they have tone to delete them, then surely that could just say no thanks?

No you reply "no thanks" to your spam emails? From companies that haven't taken the time to learn what you want?

FAB FAQ says "no reply = no thanks" but the very same people that don't read profiles also don't read FAQs."

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Create a fake woman’s profile and see how you get on responding : personally i don’t get lots of messages , but whether i get 1 or 100 it’s up to me how I respond

Conversely I think for empathy reasons women should set up a fake male profile for a week with some standard/average pics and see what a ball breaker trying to get anywhere on here is

i once created an average looking but nice fake male profile as a dare on a vanilla dating site... i was unindated with women messaging etc I think the way to women is through decent chat"

I have to agree with you there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

I'll add entitled to the list of names I've been called

#entitled

Isn't the person expecting a reply #entitled more than the person not replying to a message they didn't ask for "

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By *otsossieMan over a year ago

Chesterfield

"fab disclaimer; blokes must be thick skinned!

I’d say more self assured than thick skinned.

I haven’t had much by way of harsh criticism, and I’m happy in my own skin - I know who I am.

And it would be a strange world if we all liked the same things.

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By *iliciousCouple over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks""

Why not just block males then if you’re never going to read any messages? Would save them and you a lot of time wouldn’t it?

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

No reply means not interested so why go on about it. Also I’m lucky to get one message a week from guys so I don’t get where a woman has 2000 messages! Get away with it lol.

I can screenshot my inbox for you if you think I'm lying. Jeez

No thanks but why don’t you hide your profile so you find the men you want rather than have an inbox with 2000 unread messages in it then moan about them on here. I reply to every message as I’m polite......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Iv litterly just been abused for deleting and not replying. I'm sure many other women have had the same. Also men need to realise just coz we reply doesnt mean we will sleep with you either...

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"But realistically they don't

. Lets be honest they might get 20 to 30 at a pinch . "

We're just an average couple and we get that many on some days. With the influx of single guys here over lockdown, a good looking woman in the right area will be inundated, especially if she uploads a new photo.

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By *andyblokeMan over a year ago

birmingham

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time."

Shame you are not nearer i could impress you with my verbal dexterity

i try to make my messages interesting and dont copy or paste...but i do understand the big issue with "wanna fuck brigade" who just clog up the system and cause ladies so much time wasting. On the other handi have had some pretty short and terse messages from couples "send us face pic"!! err no!

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By *issVeryWoman over a year ago

streatham

Although you upload photos and write a bio about yourself, I don’t see fab as much different to when swiping left/right on other apps..on those platforms you don’t hunt people down and question why they didn’t swipe right on you..I see it the same here.

No one is under any obligation to explain why they ‘swiped left’. Keep going until you ‘match’. Having said that, another website I was a member of used to have a delete button that also sent an automatic reply “thanks but no thanks”

But then, would it make you feel better to receive a generic no rather than just not hear back? Makes no difference to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

No reply means not interested so why go on about it. Also I’m lucky to get one message a week from guys so I don’t get where a woman has 2000 messages! Get away with it lol.

I can screenshot my inbox for you if you think I'm lying. Jeez

Point well made

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By *latinumkittenWoman over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

If a guy has gone to the effort to write a decent message, in a polite and respectful way, I try to reply, even if it's with a 'not for me' type of response. Without exception though, this generates another message in my inbox - be it 'thanks for replying' or turning pushy for wanting to meet.

It's all extra admin.

I can understand, when women view in stealth mode and don't reply, how guys can get exacerbated. It's hard work on both sides.

Group socials are a very time efficient alternative. Fingers crossed this resumes soon.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

You can't say that, you will be accused of being entitled like I was (see above)

I'll add entitled to the list of names I've been called

#entitled

Isn't the person expecting a reply #entitled more than the person not replying to a message they didn't ask for "

Lots and lots of entitled people on this site dear!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I can understand, when women view in stealth mode and don't reply, how guys can get exacerbated. It's hard work on both sides.

It's only hard work if you make it hard work though - regardless of which side of the fence you sit.

Not saying you do, but *some* women don't use filters to their advantage and get worked up when they are bombarded by messages rather than just deleting them.

Similarly *some* men get bent out of shape about not getting replies and have false expectations of the site.

Taking a more laid back approach and accepting that women won't always reply, and men won't always send an appealing message, whilst trying not to overly worry about how others choose to use the site and simply focussing on using it to your best advantage, works a lot better and doesn't make it seem like an effort at all.

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By *olden RatioWoman over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Say the rules on Fab were changed to “all messages MUST be replied to or your membership is terminated.”

I wonder what the site would be like then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Manners cost nothing

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

I even try prompting them. Its usually a waste of time.

Shame you are not nearer i could impress you with my verbal dexterity

so it proves everyone gets demanding, abusive ill thought out messages... how to reduce it? filters, hiding profiles, choosing to ignore, block or delete.

Going back to why bother message if there's too much competition. Either make your profile or message stand out, accept when you're not someone's type and just initially wink to see if they wink back then start a conversation as that's what you would do in 'real life'. Why do people behave differently because they behind a computer screen? Dutch courage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP you need to toughen up!

It’s the way it is on here.

The decent single males will all have sent good messages, and face pics, and had their message just deleted out of hand.

I block said couple/female of that happens, and move on.You should do the same.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"OP you need to toughen up!

It’s the way it is on here.

The decent single males will all have sent good messages, and face pics, and had their message just deleted out of hand.

I block said couple/female of that happens, and move on.You should do the same."

decent men get verifications, dates and all sorts too. Don't be disillusioned that fab men don't get sex from fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OP you need to toughen up!

It’s the way it is on here.

The decent single males will all have sent good messages, and face pics, and had their message just deleted out of hand.

I block said couple/female of that happens, and move on.You should do the same.

decent men get verifications, dates and all sorts too. Don't be disillusioned that fab men don't get sex from fab"

I’m not disillusioned by Fab.

I’ve had some amazing times on various profiles on here

Hoping for even more after Covid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would it not be easier for woman who dont want messages just to have a blank profile with no pics and block single guys so they can choose who they want to speak to. Surly they know putting provocative pics up will draw attention and provoke unwanted messages that they cant be arsed to reply to

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By *aughtyBlokeKentMan over a year ago

Kent/Gatwick area

"There is no excuse for that from anybody, m, f or couple.

"
Yeah, it made me appreciate the difficulties women can have. I've also had a "straight" bloke threaten to expose me to my work for being on here, because I declined his random offer during lockdown. Apparently me being straight and it being lockdown wasnt a good enough reason.

BTW, the idiot doesn't know me! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a fat middle aged nothing special lady and already today I've had over 200 messages. About 160 off new people wanting to meet now or cam to which I have replied sorry not my thing.

I then had about 30 messages trying to convince me they knew better than me about my likes. I had another 10 messages calling me all sorts of names for saying no and the rest I can only think accepted my answer or blocked me. I can't check as I've blocked them to prevent receiving unwanted mail off them again.

This is a daily cycle only numbers are slightly higher as it's weekend, I try to respond to all but some days it's easier to just bulk delete.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I so agree. I'd also change the new user registration system, so filters are on, so new members (female) aren't bombarded with 'faf' messages as soon as they join. It must be off putting.

But if the ladies did filter out single males, those chaps might have to put some effort into their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Posts like the OPs sort of restore my faith in human nature when you see someone prepared to take one for the team and drop out of the running."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be easier for woman who dont want messages just to have a blank profile with no pics and block single guys so they can choose who they want to speak to. Surly they know putting provocative pics up will draw attention and provoke unwanted messages that they cant be arsed to reply to

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get a huge number of messages, a large number from white guys despite my profile, what you say is surely a reply no thanks would be ok, I tried that, waste of time as you imediatly get, 'but why' then the follow ons of 'but I have a big white cock' etc etc and the same guys will contact again and again. Thats why. I would start with a better profile, better pics?

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

"my opinion

There are too many males on here that think females want a message like " I want to cum over your tits" "fancy a fuck" etc, totally disrespectful to many females.

Also 95% of males don't read the profile before messaging.

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

I don't get 100s of messages but I still deleted lots.

I think you will find alot of women on here are disrespectful idiots as well same goes for couples."

I suspect you are a man

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By *edVelveteenCouple over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

"If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks""

Maybe that should be an option.

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By *ittall2020Man over a year ago

Norwich

The imbalance in the numbers is huge. Here's a status from a new local lady this morning "Over one hundred messages, and I've not been on here and hour yet! Oh dear, this is a bit overwhelming"

So I expect it's why so many new genuine ladies leave quickly. Maybe all new profiles should be hidden for a week or 2 til people find their feet a bit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

Do you reply to the unsolicited junk mail that gets delivered through your letterbox ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

"
haha very true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Iv litterly just been abused for deleting and not replying. I'm sure many other women have had the same. Also men need to realise just coz we reply doesnt mean we will sleep with you either...

Exactly. That's why I leave them unread.

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By *ilth500Man over a year ago

Merseyside

"Iv litterly just been abused for deleting and not replying. I'm sure many other women have had the same. Also men need to realise just coz we reply doesnt mean we will sleep with you either...

Exactly. That's why I leave them unread."

not mine though

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

Whilst there are probably *some* who look for an ego boost from receiving attention, it's not the case for most - and to suggest that women should lock down their profile and make it completely blank is to an extent victim blaming, any user of the site is of course entitled to run their profile how they like, and should be able to free from abuse and not have to take measures to avoid it. Trouble is *some* men see sex site and think it entitles them to sex on a plate with every message.

Whilst I agree that filters are your friend they also wouldn't be necessary if those men that behave as I described above accepted that it's not right to behave that way, and to come back to the OPs point, accepted that no reply is an accepted way of saying no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I've got 2000 unread messages in my inbox I bulk delete. I can't bulk reply "no thanks"

Why not just block males then if you’re never going to read any messages? Would save them and you a lot of time wouldn’t it?

Because I do want males, I'm straight. I just scroll through and find ones that actually meet the distance criteria I've clearly laid out in my bio. Which I wrote to SAVE MEN TIME.

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By *aastyKnixWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Even if you do respond with a 'thanks but no thanks',you run the risk of then being pestered to tell them why not,trying to change your mind or a volley of abuse.

Obviously not all men respond like that but it's a lot easier to just ignore,delete and avoid the risk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have never felt the need to insult a woman when she has rejected me.

I just think just missed out on meeting a decent guy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never felt the need to insult a woman when she has rejected me.

I just think just missed out on meeting a decent guy

*you*

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

"The problem is that alot of guys have very little in the way of conversational skills.

After they've exhausted the " how r u hun" and "what you up to?"

They have bugger all to say.

We got a load of abuse this week from a guy who'd not read our profile. We politely declined and he called us a fat bitch and a limp cock. One out of two isn't bad haha"
that's unnecessary, we've been lucky with our messages, just one impolite one. Maria

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP if we had a pound for every message we've had where the sender swears blind they've actually read our profile we'd be rather happy chappies.

We try to reply to most that do read it, however we do have a life outside of Fab - making sure that everyone gets a reply is pretty low down on our list of priorities and we make no apologies for that. But Fab has already got that sorted for all its users and it's pretty clear...no reply = no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

Not eceryones pics are overtly sexual though... Doesn't stop the abuse or vile messages

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

We are not inundated with messages so we can reply to all of them. Not all of them are worth replying to though. Most messages we get are just mindless, thoughtless shit. If the sender thinks they deserve some kind of reply they are just wrong. No effort in means no effort in return.

I don't know if your messages are like those, OP. I hope they are not. But there are people who have literally no idea how to message somebody and have nothing to say.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

When it's suggested that if women should effectively hide their profiles to avoid getting unwanted messages then yes, as I said "to an extent" it is.

As I said further up there needs to be acceptance on *both* sides of the fence but simple fact of the matter is people shouldn't be expected to hide themselves as a means of "protection".

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

I get replies. I must be doing something right lol.

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By *otwife and MasterCouple over a year ago

Derby

"Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now.

You make it sound like you're only respectful to women because you think it'll get you what you want, if that's how you're coming across then I'm not surprised, it's really not respectful at all.

Even if it's just sex you should both be getting something out of it.

That's your opinion "

Your profile has 2 interests and says you can't be bothered to write a bio...and yet you expect ladies to engage with you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This ruins things for genuine respectful males.

No it doesnt

If anything it helps women and couples appreciate the respectful males even more

Being respectful never gets me anywhere and it makes me think that I would do better if I just bombed everyone with a dirty message and treat this like a numbers game.

Because it must be working for some. Even the profiles with little text and just lots of cock pics have meets.

Maybe a lot of women like that approach. Seriously I can't see it being any worse for me than it is now. "

Perhaps you should channel your energy into writing a decent profile. If you messaged us the first thing we'd see, before we even read your message, is that after 4 months you still have nothing on there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

Not eceryones pics are overtly sexual though... Doesn't stop the abuse or vile messages "

But many people *do* have explicit pics and graphic descriptions of all the people they fucked and all the sex acts they did. We are all tarred with the same brush.

Abuse and vile messages can happen anywhere. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Friends Reunited.

I'm not saying it's ok.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

When it's suggested that if women should effectively hide their profiles to avoid getting unwanted messages then yes, as I said "to an extent" it is.

As I said further up there needs to be acceptance on *both* sides of the fence but simple fact of the matter is people shouldn't be expected to hide themselves as a means of "protection"."

I agree both sides are to 'blame'.

However if I don't want messages commenting on my gaping pussy it's really easy to prevent that.

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By *zCaTzZWoman over a year ago

The Poke District

"I've seen a few posts saying about sending messages and women ignore most of them. Over the past 7 months I've messaged quite a few ladies and 3 have answered.

If a guy messages me "hi" I will not reply or if I do Ill reply read my profile ... I think if u do msg a woman u should put some effort in and at least read her profile ... try something funny .. dont just say hi ur fit id love to fuck u these are the ones I'll just delete I try to answer all the polite ones and those that make an effort I get around 10 aday .. if i go into chat it can be up to 80 -130

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

When it's suggested that if women should effectively hide their profiles to avoid getting unwanted messages then yes, as I said "to an extent" it is.

As I said further up there needs to be acceptance on *both* sides of the fence but simple fact of the matter is people shouldn't be expected to hide themselves as a means of "protection".

I agree both sides are to 'blame'.

However if I don't want messages commenting on my gaping pussy it's really easy to prevent that.

Thing is though it's not just people with "gaping pussy" pics that we're talking about here

Sadly for a site that is for adults, some seem incapable of behaving like them

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Not fun if you dont get any responses lol"

It's also not fun to get bombarded with messages from men who might think they fit your requirements but clearly don't. They also ignore preferences 'just in case', we get vulgar messages, rude messages and downright disgusting messages. If you don't fit their preferences, many of us simply don't have the time or the patience to keep sending 'no thankyou' messages as we then inevitably get the 'why?' or the abuse.

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By *oozleMan over a year ago

high wycombe

As someone newish to the site, I have read numerous forum posts similar to this. At the end of the day, it’s about being respectful and polite in messages, I send messages that are respectful, don’t get many replies, but I’m not too worried. We are all here for fun and to find someone we relate to for aforementioned fun, it’s just finding that person and that’s half the fun in itself.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Ah yes, the old 'blame the women because some men are rude pigs'. I'm entitled to have what I want on my profile without receiving vulgar messages. I refuse to be blamed for men not being able to think with their head and not their dick.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course. But how will they get an ego boost then?

People with sexual pics on a sex site getting annoyed when people talk sexually about their public sex pics.

That's victim blaming????

When it's suggested that if women should effectively hide their profiles to avoid getting unwanted messages then yes, as I said "to an extent" it is.

As I said further up there needs to be acceptance on *both* sides of the fence but simple fact of the matter is people shouldn't be expected to hide themselves as a means of "protection".

I agree both sides are to 'blame'.

However if I don't want messages commenting on my gaping pussy it's really easy to prevent that.

Thing is though it's not just people with "gaping pussy" pics that we're talking about here

Sadly for a site that is for adults, some seem incapable of behaving like them"

It's a lot more than 'some'.

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By *arkus1812Man over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Been on and off this site for about 7 years and have never sent an opening message to any female on this site,

I have a face photo and keep my profile shorter than "War and Peace" and even at 80 I still get opening messages from females of varying ages. some of which have resulted in meets.

I have no complaints.

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By *olex99Man over a year ago

Hull

Rejection is a way of life on here for most men. However, at no point will I ever stop to send abuse to any woman who either doesn't answer or turns me down. It's something I accept. However, arranging to meet someone & then finding you've been blocked on the day is downright rude & ignorant. This happened to me last night. Still, I let it slide, block her myself & move on. Good luck everyone.

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By *olex99Man over a year ago

Hull

**stoop to send***

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"Rejection is a way of life on here for most men. However, at no point will I ever stop to send abuse to any woman who either doesn't answer or turns me down. It's something I accept. However, arranging to meet someone & then finding you've been blocked on the day is downright rude & ignorant. This happened to me last night. Still, I let it slide, block her myself & move on. Good luck everyone."

Yeah, that's a shitty way to behave, some women and couples are knobs too.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Scarcity is a great marketing tool, why not use it?

I (male) have had four D/s meets off the site. Suspect that is only because of the scarcity of knowledgeable tops.

In clubs we have had meets ever time we have been.

There is no scarcity in clubs, well unless you are desperate dick.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never pestered our insulted a woman or couple for turning me down or not responding just take on the chin and move on it comes with the territory I'm afraid,although I've received abuse just for being married on here but that's another story. Any decent man wouldn't insult a woman for saying no they are to be treasured and made to feel special and if they response positively then happy days treat them well, they're not here just as some pervs personnel fuck toy. Rant over.

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By *i-Bi-BabyWoman over a year ago

glasgow

As much as I understand how frustrating it must be on this site for single males, it is equally frustrating for single women.

It is impossible to read, never mind reply to every message considering I have hundreds if not thousands at any given time and can only see the last however many.

The sheer volume of half arsed “hi how are you? “Wanna fuck” messages that women have to sift through to find a decent well mannered male makes it less of a fun experience and more of a chore at times.

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